Chapter 1 Continued…
~In the apartment~
Zolo:*Yawns. Rolls over and grabs his star sunglasses.* Morning….Need Coffee. *Walks like a Zombie and trips over the couch.*
Gage:*Wakes up.*Oh…Wait not another thunder storm and I wasn't even awake for this one.
Zolo:*mumbles.*Coffee…
Gage: Get it yourself…I prefer orange juice.
Zolo: But I fell and fell asleep.*Flings cushion pillow at Gage.*
Gage: Fine .Do you want decafe?
Zolo: Decafe is evil.
Gage:*Pushes Zolo Off.* Then get it yourself.
Zolo:*Stretches Yawning.* I was comfy.
Gage:*Sits up and stretches.*So, what? You have no case.*Gives Zolo an evil stare.*
Zolo:* Goes to get his coffee.*Mmmm…Coffee…
Gage: That's not sanitary.* Get's up and wanders into the kitchen.*
Zolo: So…oh my goodness where are your undies !?! *Drops coffee at the sight of Gage's nakedness.* Aw ..my coffee.
Gage:*Shrugs* My clothes were all dirty and I like a nice breeze between my knees.
Zolo: Didn't need to know that.*Turns and pours another cup of coffee.* Go get dressed.
Gage: *Hugs Zolo.* Don't pretend you don't like it.
Zolo: Get out of my kitchen
Gage: No!I feel like dancing.*Turns on the kitchen radio and starts dancing.*This is my jam!
Zolo:*Continues ignoring Gage and sips his coffee.* I got work.
Gage: Why wont you join me grumpy pants?
Zolo: I Have work. You know the thing that keeps a roof over your head.
* Goes to get dressed for work.*
Gage: Zolo, your sarcastic.
Zolo: Thanks for noticing. *Comes back out wearing a tie dye t- shirt and khaki pants.*Don't you have somewhere to go?Gage: I'm no… What happened to your suit?
Zolo: I kind of forgot it wasn't machine washable.
Gage: And that's exactly why..*Points to himself.* I do the laundry.
Zolo: You know you ain't doing laundry every time you say you are.
Gage: Of course I am. What else would I be doing? *Stops dancing and turns off the radio.*
Zolo: You tell me. *Crosses his arms and stares at Gage.*
Gage: Okay. What do you want me to say? *Gage puts his hands on his hips.*
Zolo: I'm going to work.
Gage: Bring me a happy meal! *Looks around.* Game time!
~At McDonalds~
Jerry: What did I tell you about wearing that shirt!?
Zolo: That it brings out my eyes.
Jerry: Guess again.
Zolo: That I shouldn't even wear a shirt anymore.
Jerry: Zolo!
Zolo: You know it gets kind of hot in here. Whabam! *Rips shirt off.*
Jerry: NO!
RC: Is somebody going to take my order?
Zolo: *Turns around.* Oh.. Didn't realize anyone else was here.
RC :Wow…Can I get you to go?
Jerry: Sorry but…*gets interrupted*
Zolo: Depends with you ,get something to go with these abs?
RC: A large milkshake and fries.
Zolo: Five dollars and your number.
~At the Apartment~
*Gage is sitting up sleeping on the couch.*
Zolo: Gage! I'm unlocking the door!*Searches for the keys.*
Gage: Gah! Got to find something to do.*Finds game controller in his lap.*Yes! Come in!
Zolo:*Opens the door and finds a chip infested room with Gage still naked on the couch.*Huh…
Gage: What?
Zolo: Uh huh.*Closes the door.*I'll give it a minute.
Gage:*Shouts at the door.* You'll be back.
Zolo: *Opens the door.*What!?
Gage:*All sprawled out on the couch looking all sexy and delicious.*
Zolo: Get a Job!*Slams the door shut behind him.*
Gage: I have one!
Zolo: *Leaning on the door.*Why didn't I kick him out?
Gage:*Opens the door.*Are…
Zolo:*Falls on Gage.*
Gage: I told you they always come back.*Evil grin.*
Zolo: I didn't come back, you opened the door.*Notices Gage is still nakey.* Ah!
Gage: Just when it was getting fun!
Zolo: For you maybe.
Gage: Don't be like that.
Zolo: Get dressed and we'll talk.
Gage: *Hopeful.*You promise?
Zolo: Yeah, now get dressed.
Gage: Okay.*Puts on pants from the other day.* Better?
Zolo: No undies?
Gage: I put on pants. What more do you want from me woman!?!
Zolo: A ring and a romantic dinner.
Gage: Well then get in the car, we're going to the mall
Zolo: Whoa! I was kidding.
Gage:*Shifty eyes.* I knew that
Zolo: Sure you did
Gage: Yeah I did. You needed a new suit right? I was talking about that.
Zolo: New suit? I was planning on wearing this.
Gage: A ripped t-shirt and khaki pants? Doesn't suit you well. Unless your going for the Brad Pit look.
Zolo: Fine then I'll wear yours.
Gage: You sure about that, you don't know where anything I own has been.
Zolo: Yeah I do. It just sits around all over the place in the living room.
Gage: That may be true, but what happens before it enters the house held still remains a mystery.
Zolo: So, you don't even know what happens to your clothes?
Gage: *Grins.*Trust me no one wants to know.
Zolo: Not even going to ask.
Gage: *Checks the time.*We should probably get ready for the show.
Zolo: What am I going to wear!?! I can't go out looking like this!
Gage: Zolo, calm down.
Zolo: Calm down? Calm Down?!?! *Shakes Gage senseless.* This is a fashion emergency!
Gage: Whoa!*Tries to get Zolo to let go.* You have issues. *Calmly.* In your room the top dresser drawer. There are clean clothes.
Zolo: I looked earlier when I went to get changed for work!
Gage: Check again.*Points to Zolo's room.*
Zolo: Yes, mother.*Goes to check his drawer.*There's nothing here!
Gage: Wrong drawer!
Zolo: How do you even know that?*Checks his other drawer.* Still nothing!
Gage: Your not even looking in the dresser.
Zolo: What are you…*Turns around.*Have you been standing there the whole time?
Gage: *Leaning in the doorway.* Yeah and the view is nice.*Grabs a random shirt and puts it on.*This comfy.
Zolo: That's mine and you still need to wash it.
Gage:*Looks at the shirt.* Oh my god! Get it off! It burns!*Tears the shirt off throws it to the ground and starts stomping on it.*
Zolo: Hey, I liked that shirt.
Gage: *Puts on a black shirt he found on the couch.*There we go. You need any help in there!?!
Zolo: *Rolls his eyes.*Of course not I was just going to wear nothing.
Gage: I'm down with that.*Grabs his camera.*This one will go great next to the one with you in the shower.
Zolo: So, you're the reason the lock on the bathroom door is broken?
Gage: There was a lock?
Zolo: There was, but then we had to replace the door.
Gage: Good thing we got a new door or things would get boring.
Zolo: Yeah I remember how you ruined my last bath.*Thinks back.*
~Flashback.~
Zolo:*Sitting in the bathtub.*This is the best bath I've ever had.*Leans back to relax.*
Gage: *Kicks open the door and jumps in.*Yay ,Bubbles.
Zolo: Gage! I'm not decent get out!
Gage: Hey we're both men here. I'll wash your back if you shampoo my hair.*Holds up a scrubby ball.*
Zolo: Fine.
~End of Flashback.~
Gage:*Shakes Zolo Senseless.*What are you doing?
Zolo: Huh? Oh ,remembering the time in the bathtub.
Gage: Your not even dressed yet.
Zolo: I'm checking the closet.
Gage: I got this.*Goes and opens the closet.*There, see?
Zolo: *Leans over Gage's shoulder and sees row upon row of suits.*So, I need a new suit, Really?
Gage: Just get dressed and hurry.*Slips on some shoes and heads for the door.*
Zolo: Wait for me! *Runs after Gage pulling on his rainbow jacket.*
~At the Studio.~
Gage: Okay, So we have a few lost ends to tie up.
RG: Or untie.
Zolo: Shut up! Nobody asked you.
RG: *squirms in her chair.* But I have to go
Gage: Zolo, Quit being so grumpy today and let her go.
RG: Yeah! I agree with Gage.
Gage: Shush! We are talking here.
Zolo: *Turns to RG.*We can't let you take missy.
Gage: *Looks around.* Has anyone seen her?
Missy: Merrrarow!*Jumps on an audience member.*
Crowd member: I don't want to die!*another member.* Get it off!*Ect.*
Gage: You remember when she was nice?
Zolo: Yeah before the microwave incident.
~Flashback~
Gage: I wonder what happens when you stick cats in a microwave.
Zolo: Don't do it. It won't end nice.*Sitting on the couch reading.*
Gage: Well, I'm gonna!*Stuffs Missy in the nuclear microwave.*
Missy:*Sickly cat screams.*
Zolo: What is wrong with you!?Gage: Neat!*Stands watching in awe.*
~Flashback ended.~
Zolo: Don't ever do that again.
Gage: No promises
Zolo: You're a loss cause
Gage: *Ignoring Zolo.* I found this dog the other day and I was thinking, if it's big enough about putting it in the microwave.
Yugi: *Stands up rubbing his head.*What happened?
Zolo: You passed out when the cat tried to eat you.
Yugi: Oh, she did…I can't feel my arm! Oh my god! She ate it!
Gage: I don't know I think it makes him look more distinguished.
Zolo: Gage, don't say stuff like that. It's just numb.
Gage: You're no fun
Yugi: Can I go home?
Zolo: *Walks around Yugi.*I don't know I think you should go see a doctor. What do you think ,Gage?
Gage: I think I am a doctor
Zolo: No your not! You're a lair.
Gage: A doctor of comfort.*Holds up a keychain.* It says so.
Yugi: Why?
Zolo: Don't encourage him.
Gage: Don't tell our guest what to do.
Zolo: I'm going to take Yugi to the doctor.
RG: Do you really think that's the best idea?
Zolo: I'd rather not think about it.
Gage: So, your leaving me in charge? All alone with no one to tell me what to do.
Zolo: That's right.
Gage: In that case, just get going already.
Zolo: I hope you're not scheming anything.*Zolo waves and pushes Yugi out the door.*
Gage: Yes!*Turns music on.*Dance party!
~Later Backstage.~
Zolo: I'm getting a really bad feeling about this.*Starts heading for the stage.*
Cao Cao: Wait!
*Zolo jumps and screams.*
Cao Cao:*Starts laughing.*Did I scare you?
Zolo: Of course not.
Cao Cao: Whatever you say.
Zolo: What the hell is wrong with you!?!
Cao Cao: Your cat ate my horse. I'm suing.*Cries a little.*
Zolo: We'll get you a new one!*Turns away.*
Cao Cao: What about…?
Zolo: Ahh-! *Turns back after scaring Cao Cao away.*
~ On Stage.~
Gage: Let's move onto the fire juggling part of Simon Says.*Watches the crowd attempt and fail at fire juggling.*
Zolo: *Walks in.*Fire, Gage, Really?
Gage:*Still watching the crowd.*Wow ,Pretty.
Zolo: We're going to get sued, and end up living in a cardboard box.
Gage: Nu-uh. I was prepared.*Throws a fire extinguisher into the fire.* See.*Big explosion.*
Zolo: What about that?
Gage: I was prepared for that too.*Pulls out another fire extinguisher and uses it right.* Now I'm sad.
Zolo: Why?
Gage: I was having fun.
Zolo: Burning down buildings isn't fun for homeless people which is what will happen to us if you burn it down.
Gage: I love my couch.*Shudders.*
Zolo: My point exactly.
Gage: For once you actually made sense.
Zolo: Hey!*Pauses.*Wait a minute…Why do I even care?
Gage: Because your secretly in love with me..
Zolo: In your dreams maybe.
RG: Hey!*Notices their ignoring her.*Lovebirds. You can untie me now!
Gage: How long have you been here?*Scratches head.*
RG: Since yesterday and I'm starving!
Zolo: Fine but you leave the cat!*Cuts the rope.*
RG: No!
Gage: Then take the f***ing job.
RG: No!
Gage: Hey! No one says no to me.
Zolo:*Puts a hand on Gage's shoulder.* Now, Gage. We both know that isn't true.
Gage: You're the only exception.
Zolo: Why won't you take the job….What's your name anyway?
RG: Fida…
Zolo: Odd name.
Gage: Like your one to talk.
Zolo: Now that's low making fun of my name.
Fida: As much as I'd love to stay and watch you two argue I have things to do.
Zolo: You never answered my question.
Fida: I'm 11,why would I want a job?
Gage: How'd you even get in here?
Zolo: It's a show for adults.
Fida: My parents brought.*Waves at her parents.*
Zolo: That's a dog in a suit and a tree in a banana suit.
Fida: That's mom and dad.
Gage: Okay then.
Zolo: Does explain why she's so good with animals.
Gage: It does, doesn't it?
Zolo: Very. So, you either take the job or you are banned form the live audience part of the show forever.
Gage: I agree. Forever.
Fida: What? no fair.
Zolo: Life isn't fair now is it.
Gage: No not fair at all. You don't even know.
Fida: Fine, but dad wont like it.
Zolo: Which one's your dad?
Fida: The dog.
Gage: There's like 10 of them.
Zolo: Don't be rude.
Fida: I'm sorry you don't notice him.
Gage: I'm sorry but there's like 10 other dogs in here.
Fida: He's wearing a suit.
Gage: Ok like 3 of them.
Fida: The other two are my brothers.
Gage: Can you be more specific.
Zolo: He's obviously the tallest one.
Fida: Ha ha ha. No silly he's the one in the middle.
Gage: He's really small.
Zolo: How'd the whole tree and dog thing work in the first place?
Gage: And why do you look like a person.
Fida: I take after mom.
Zolo: She's a tree.
Fida: Your point.
Gage: You know you have her bark pattern hair.
Fida: Why thank you?
Zolo: Wait, what?
Gage: Yeah.*Winks.* So, see you tomorrow then. Food and water is in the back and we're out of kitty litter. Yeah bye.*Gage takes off running home.*
Zolo: I guess that's it for today. Tune in next time for Just Shut the Hell Up!
~The End.~