Chapter four

Sephy

Every night I dream of him and only him. I dream of how he looked at me and how he made me feel. How he said he loved me and promised to never let me go. It was the perfect dream but every dream I had of him ended in tragedy. It always ended with his lifeless body hanging from that bloody rope. I saw how his body swung from side to side ever so slightly. When I woke up there was an ache in my chest but I then touched the bump where my baby was and I felt better. Touching the bump always made me feel better.

I looked around my room and let out a long sigh. I couldn't believe that I'd agreed to come back here. It was funny how I considered my old home as "Here". It was as if I hated it here, which I did but only slightly.

"Sephy?" Minerva asked which was followed by a light knock. "Can I come in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really," Minerva answered and creaked my door open.

I didn't like Minerva that much but she still hung around like a bad smell. It was nice that she cared but I wish I could just be left alone so I could grieve in peace. Minerva then opened the door fully and entered my room. She was wearing a tight fitting shirt with a gladiator belt and black leggings. The only comment I could make on her outfit was "Skinny bitch". I know I sound like a cow but when you're the size of one you just want snap supermodels in two. Minerva comes under the category of supermodel skinny.

"What d'you want?" I asked before Minerva could sit on the end of my bed.

"I wanted to see if you were alright," Minerva said, standing at the end of my bed.

"Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"You were calling out for Callum in your sleep so I thought you were having a nightmare about…what happened…" Minerva's face went red with embarrassment.

"I'll tell you one more time. Callum did not rape me."

Minerva looked at me and I saw the defeat in her eyes. Minerva could always see battle's she was going to lose. Lucky her. If only I could know a lost cause when I see one or the battles that I'm going to lose. I felt tired and defeated but I could feel something bad was coming. Something that meant trouble for my baby and me. No one was ever going to hurt my baby. No one.

Chapter Five

Jack

I lay in my bed. Bored shitless. What did I have to look forward to? Another day of letting Callum's letter run through my head? Or was I going to burn the letter like I intended in the first place? I looked at my bed side table and I knew I wouldn't burn it. I wanted to burn it more than anything but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Maybe I should read it one more time and then I might be able to burn it. I picked it up and put on my reading glasses on.

Sephy,

I'm writing this to you because I want you to know the way things really are. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life believing a lie.

I don't love you. I never did. You were just an assignment to me. A way for all of us in my cell of the liberation militia to get money - a lot of money from your dad. As for the sex – well, you were available and I had nothing better to do. You should have seen yourself, lapping up every word of that nonsense I spouted about loving you and living only for you and being too scared to say it before. I don't know how I stopped myself from laughing out loud as you bought all that rubbish. As if I could love someone like you a – a cross and worse than that, the daughter of one of our worst enemies. Having sex with you was just my way of getting back at your dad for being a bastard and your mum for looking down her nose at me all those years. And now you're pregnant.

Well, I'm ecstatic. Now the whole world will know you're having my child, the child of a blanker. That if nothing else is worth dying for. Whether you come to my hanging or not, I'm going to announce to the world that you're having my child. MINE. Even if you do get rid of our child, everyone will still know.

But no one will know how much I despise you. I loathe the very thought of you and now when I think about all the things we did when we were alone in the cabin, I feel physically sick. To think I actually kissed you, licked you, touched you, joined my body with yours. I had to think of my other lovers the entire time to stop myself from pulling away from you in disgust. God knows, I'm disgusted with myself but the object of the exercise was your total humiliation – and at least I can console myself with the knowledge that that's what I've achieved. Did you really in your wildest dreams believe that I could love someone like you? You've got more ego than any fifty people I know. And you've got absolutely nothing to be egotistical about.

I've told Jack to deliver this to you only if and when you have our child. I can imagine your face now as you read this and at least that gives me comfort as I wait to die. Once you've had our child and you've read this, no doubt you'll hate me just as much as I hate you. But just remember, I had you first. Go ahead and try and forget about me. And while you're forgetting, you can do something else. Never tell our child about me. I don't want him or her to know who I am or how I died or anything about me. I don't want you to mention my name ever again. That shouldn't be too hard after all the things I've told you in this letter. All the true things. You're probably so conceited that you're telling yourself what I' saying isn't true. That I'm only saying this so you'll move on with your life, but I never for a second doubted you'd do that anyway.

I won't tell you to take care of yourself. You're a cross who was born with a jewel-encrusted, platinum spoon in your mouth and even if you don't take care of yourself, others will do it for you.

Forget about me.

I've already forgotten about you.

Callum.

Every time I read that letter I think "Callum you basterd". He didn't mean one word of it though. But that didn't stop every word being like a dagger and the letter wasn't even meant for me. I can't believe he wanted to send it to Sephy. I can't believe anyone would want to send a letter like that. I just wish I knew why Callum wanted to send that letter to Sephy. But if the reason was worse than letter then I didn't want to know.