Sighing deeply, only moments had passed whilst Noah had revisited each person, each memory and remembered what he used to have. Taking a look at his bloodied wrist, his breath caught in his throat. At that point, a breeze spiralled around him, a familiar breeze. "Claude, is that you?" He mustered only a whisper, his eyes tried to focus on a particular part of the roof but his clouded eyes had other ideas. Silence enveloped him, then again he was pinning all his hopes to one invisible man, his invisible man being exactly where he needed him, when he needed him most. If Claude had been there, he said nothing and stayed as still as a statue. Noah sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He noticed the congealing blood on his arm and the same voice from before started up you're a coward. You haven't even finished what you started, the pain was too much, sissy. Couldn't even cut your own wrists properly. Angrily, Noah bared his teeth and hit the concrete fiercely, on impact his knuckles crunched and he yelped out in pain. Nursing his hand, he spotted what appeared to be two shattered knuckles and more blood spilled over.
Still, the pain in his wrist and the new pain in his knuckles detracted from the dull ache between his legs. It was the kind of ache brought on by at least one of the memories he had conjured up, just who the culprit was remained to be seen. It could have been any one of three Noah supposed silently, maybe four depending on how hard he squinted. He had hoped, in vain it seemed, that when Sandra left him, she would take his libido with her. But he hadn't been so fortunate, as he sat miserably on the rooftop, it mocked him relentlessly. It had gotten the better of him one night, and he had been reduced to touching himself to make it go away, after trying everything he could think of. He lay in bed wearing only a cotton shirt and a pair of boxers, he had been reading but his mind had started to wander and he found himself in an awkward position. When it became apparent there was only one way to end the torment, he let out a shallow sigh and resigned himself to what was about to happen.
First, he just rested his hand under the covers before resting it on his thigh. After a few moments he was able to slide his hand down the front of his boxers. The moment his hand connected, he was jolted back to his teenage years, remembering how embarrassed he had felt the first time. As vile an act as he felt it was, he couldn't deny how wonderful it was to feel the pain lifting with each stroke. Noah choked back a sob as he remembered his first self-gratuitous experience; he remembered the awkwardness of it all, followed by sheer and complete release, with utter shame hot on its heels. The worst bit had been explaining to his mother why she had to wash his bed sheets, he watched as she silently judged her son before sitting him down to discuss the merits and sinful truth behind it all. It had been a conversation that his fourteen year old self had not needed and it had been enough to put him off it for a very long time. Anyway, he had Sandra for when he felt low or when he felt horny. He hadn't needed to pleasure himself in such a self-righteous manner, until now.
When he got into a rhythm, he had thrown his head back against the pillow and it had been then that he thought he heard a laugh emanate from the other side of the room. Freezing instantly, his eyes snapped open and he scanned the room, finding no visible sources, he shook his head slowly and carried on. It was only when he felt an invisible hand on his shoulder, one that drifted down to his stomach and beyond that his hips bucked helplessly and he let go of himself. He could have sworn that the hand belonged to Claude; it was a hand he was familiar with, invisible or otherwise. As he let go, he was sure he heard another laugh, less conceited this time, more mellow, but he chose to ignore it. If, by some small chance, there was an invisible man in the room with him, he certainly didn't need his ego inflating anymore by knowing it was him Noah had pictured when he touched himself.
But as he sat on the rooftop, too afraid to move he knew he could hardly repeat the act up here. Instead, he bit on his bottom lip and tried to force the thought as far from his memory as possible. Needless to say, the more he thought about forgetting, the harder it became to not think about it. Sighing, he stared at his wrist again, the bone was already exposed in several places and the blood still seeped out of the deepest cut. Taking his keys between his twisted knuckles, he ran it over the cut and did it twice more before he felt a hand, his hand, on his chest. "I can't let you do this." The voice took him by surprise, so much so he scrambled to his feet and gripped the ledge. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't jump..?"
"I'm here, isn't that a reason in itself?" It hit him, just who he was faced with, even in his invisible state and after all this time, he hadn't lost his edge.
"Cl...Claude, is that really you?"
"I'm as bloody real as can be, mate." With that, he shimmered into view in front of Noah, he hadn't changed much over the years; he'd lost weight and grown a beard, everything else had stayed the same. Noah's shoulders sagged, he knew Claude being there was enough of an incentive not to jump but still he remained frozen to the spot. That said, he couldn't find it in himself to step away from the ledge. The next thing to register with him was Claude's fist hammering into his jaw. It had the desired effect, as Noah staggered backwards before he hit the wall and stopped dead.
"What the hell..?"
"Couple of reasons, really mate; you shooting me, you tasering me, not to mention you leaving me to die and...I had to get you away from that ledge somehow..." Claude's eyes seemed to hide a wave of emotion that he really didn't want Noah to see, but his words had conveyed all the sentiment that Noah had needed to hear. "What the hell has gotten into you, mate? The old Rookie would never have come up here, with the intention of ending it all..."
"Things change, people change Claude." Noah spat vehemently.
"You didn't change, the whole time I knew you Rookie, what gives?"
"Having children changes a man, losing your job, your house, your friends, and your family, that changes a guy Claude. Always having to look over my shoulder, wherever I go, I'm tired of it." Claude stepped towards him and his gaze met Noah's.
"Had it rough then, Rookie? You want to try bleeding rough, being shot and left to die, having to make myself invisible so that you wouldn't find me again..."
"Make it all about you, why don't you? That's all you ever did, I don't know why I'm surprised." Noah's gaze dropped to the floor and he sighed.
"It was never all about me Rookie and you know it. Tell me about it then; tell me what it is that made you snap. Come on Rookie, the floor is all yours."
"I let everyone down, I hurt them, I lied to them, I pushed them away. I lost my job, my friends, everything. But it was losing Sandra that hurt the most. I thought I could handle it, I really did but I'm just not strong enough." Claude stayed silent for a moment before stepped closer still, before he pushed Noah against the wall.
"The little lady left you, did she?" He nodded softly. "And why's that then, Rookie? Must have been a biggie to kiss goodbye to 22 years of marriage..."
"What would you know about it, Claude?"
"Oh, yeah that's right Rookie. I have never been in love, have I? I've never felt real, deep emotions, have I? We can't all wear our hearts on our bloody sleeves, Rookie; we can't all be the romantic type like you. 'Cept that didn't work, if she left..." Silently, Claude cursed himself for saying that, the idea had been to win Noah around, not push him into jumping anyway. "I'm sorry, Rook, that was uncalled for. But you know that I have feelings too, it can't be easy for you with Sandra and the kids taking off like that?"
"I brought it on myself, I threatened her, I lied to her and it caught up with me."
"You...you threatened her?" Claude cocked an eyebrow but stayed silent.
"Sylar...Shape shifted into her and handed me divorce papers..." He couldn't bring himself to finish, instead he felt a sob wrack his body. Claude silenced him by running a hand along his chest and rested it on his shoulder. "Pull yourself together Rookie..."
"Stop calling me that, you know I hate it when you call me that." Claude chuckled heartily before he smiled at Noah. "Alright, alright don't go pulling the bloody puppy eyes on me, Noah."
"I remember, the first time, you called that out." Claude sniggered, recalling the memory well.
"Only because you bleeding thumped me so hard I thought you'd shattered my jaw! I had no choice but to obey..." Claude's smile softened and Noah knew he was reliving the events as if they had happened only yesterday.
"You don't need everyone else, you've got me." His voice seemed strangely sombre.
"Until you do a disappearing act on me, that is." Claude feigned mock upset before he replied.
"Oh come on, give me some credit Noah. I'm a different man now..." Noah had wanted to question it, to ask about the changes Claude could have possibly undergone whilst being invisible, but his mind spun as images of all the good, great and frankly mind blowing memories with Claude flashed by.