AN: This is my favorite one!
Dear Edward,
This will be the last letter. And I know what you'd be doing if you were here– you'd be rolling your eyes at me, because I already said that before. But you're not here. And I need to stop imagining what would happen if you were.
I just need to get over it in general, I think. It's been six months and I know it. I am more stable now, and I'm sure of it. Jake helped me plug up the hole. I can get over it. It will never be as if you'd never existed, but maybe, once in a while, for a moment, I can pretend like you didn't. Maybe other people will actually begin to think like I've forgotten you.
Maybe there will come a day where I can hear your voice and be reminded of the joy and happiness you've brought, and not of your parting words. Maybe one day, the hole you left can be sealed back up all the way with Jacob's healing. Maybe one day, that double-sided knife that twists up my gut with be nonexistent.
Honestly, I think you would like that. I think you want me to be happy, I really do. You wouldn't object to me being happy with Jacob.
But I can't move on if I keep writing to you like this. I'm finally, finally starting to let you off my mind, and I think it's healthy for me.
One thing I'm totally sure of, though, is that I'll never forget you. You've changed me, as much as a person can be changed, and I'm unable to forget that.
But I am moving on, Edward. I don't know how long it'll take, but until then, I think I'll be okay. I think, with the help of Jake. He promised to be there for my always, and he's kept his promise.
I'm not bitter, lo– Edward. How can I be? You taught me how to love freely and purely. I can't feel any bitterness towards you.
So, this is goodbye, I think. Truly a farewell, unlike a hasty farewell that we shared in the woods. I think we both deserve better than that.
Bella