Me Without You

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SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Me Without You - Ashley Tisdale

BELLA

I didn't think that where I was right now was a place that I could ever be again.

As I lye here, on Edward's chest, I remember how this used to feel. Like I could do anything. Like nothing else mattered. When I was with him, it didn't matter what anyone else though of me, or what anyone said about me. I realized that I am still allowed to be happy, even though I've lost the one thing that tied Edward and I together. Just because we lost our daughter, doesn't mean I can never be happy again. I wont mope around, feeling sorry for myself. I want to be with him. Forever.

I looked out the window as I listened to Edward's steady heartbeat. It was now 5:03 PM. Not once today did we get up to do anything.

Flashback

"Edward!?" I screamed through the bathroom door.

I stared at the pregnancy test in my hands. I smiled down at the test, and looked up when the door opened.

His eyes caught the stick as he stepped into the bathroom, and closed the door. I handed him the stick, and wrapped my arms around him once he smiled at me. We had been trying to have a baby for the past few months, and now, finally, we were.

Edward wrapped me in his arms, and held me ever so tightly. "I love you. I love you. I love you." He said, repeatedly, kissing all over my face.

End of flashback

Would we ever try again? Did he want to try to have children again? Did I?

I have always wanted kids, ever since I was two. But was this a way of god telling me that I wasn't supposed to be mother?

I shifted, and looked up at Edward. I sighed deeply, and rested my head in the crook of his neck. He brought his hand up to my back, and kissed my scalp.

I looked down at the ring on my finger. We were getting married again. But this time, I wasn't going to let him go.

I had always pictured in my mind the perfect Christmas. With Edward, and I, and however many little rugrats we had. So, that pretty much answered my question. I knew that I had to let Scarlett go. I was supposed to be able to be happy again.

EDWARD

"Bella?" I questioned. I had just gotten up to an empty bed, and presumed that Bella was in the shower, but when I knocked on the door, there was no answer.

I walked downstairs, and into the kitchen, and found a piece of bright blue paper stuck to the refrigerator.

Edward-

Went to the store, we were low on cereal.

Be back soon.

I love you.

-Bella

I pressed the paper to my chest, and took a deep breath.

I had Bella back. The girl I had fell in love with back in sixth grade. The woman that I went through so much together.

I turned around, and looked at my surroundings. I wanted to give Bella so much more than what she deserved. She didn't deserve to live in this apartment. Well, the apartment didn't deserve Bella. Ha.

I started on my plan.

BELLA

I walked into the personal needs isle. I walked down the isle with all of the pregnancy tests.

I picked up the tru-tests, and put five into my basket. Even if I didn't need them right now, eventually, I would.

EDWARD

"Edward!" I heard a chipper voice call for me.

I turned around, and forced a smile towards Lauren Mallory.

"Hello Lauren."

"Oh my god! It's so weird seeing you here! How are you? We should get together! What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm getting some supplies for Bella." I said simply.

I watched her smile fade very quickly.

"Bella?" She looked disgusted.

"Yes. Bella and I are engaged." I smiled.

"But, you got a divorce after your kid died." She protested.

I swear, if she insults Bella I'll fucking go livid.

"Yes, we got divorced after our baby…died. But we're back together."

"Oh, come on. You could do so much better than that tr----"

"Don't even think of calling Bella that. That name is for you only. Goodbye Lauren." I spat, leaving Lauren with her mouth gawked.

I passed the cosmetics, and personal items, and suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes went wide when I saw Bella putting pregnancy tests into her basket.

I looked around me, and started walking up behind her.

I went up next to her, and stared at her, wide eyed. "I hear E.P.T is good." I watched as she looked up, and slowly turned her head to meet mine.

"E-Edward!?" She yelped.

I smirked. "What are you doing, love?" I said, cocking my head.

She swallowed hard, and just stared at me.

"I-uh…stocking up?" She said it more like a question.

"Hmm, really?" I asked, peeking into her basket, and spotted the box lableled 'OVKit'

"Can we talk about this at home, Edward?" She said quickly, leaving the isle.

"Bella!" I yelled, running after her.

"Edward, please." She looked around her, her eyes full of tears. "I don't want to do this here." She pushed me away, and walked to the checkout.

I pulled into the driveway, and shut the car off.

I grabbed the bags, and walked into the house.

I set the bags down on the counter, and walked upstairs.

I walked into the bathroom, where I knew she would be. I found her hunching over the toilet, her hand in between her legs.

I sighed, and put my hand on my forehead. "Bella." I said, running my hand over my face.

"Love, what are you doing?" I asked, shutting the door. A few seconds later, she pulled the thermometer out from her legs, and looked to the small screen. She zipped her pants, and jumped onto me.

She attacked my lips with her own, and pushed me against the wall.

We made it to the bed, before I pushed her off me.

"BELLA!" I shouted. "Bella! Stop it, okay!?"

"Oh, Edward. Just shut up and fuck me." She rasped, trailing kisses down my stomach.

I growled, and flipped her over. "Jesus Christ Bella." There was no denying her now.

Flashback-Bella

*PICTURE BELLA LOOKING LIKE THIS:

www(DOT)you tube(DOT)com(SLASH)watch?v=aRJkxAai80Y

"Mrs. Cullen, there's someone here to see you." Jean smiled.

"Finish reading chapter 7. I'll be right back." I told my class.

I walked out into the hall, and met eyes with him.

I slowly walked over to him, and crossed my arms over my chest.

He extended his arm out to me, handing me a manila envelope. "What is this?" I asked, taking the envelope.

"I didn't know what else to do, Bella. You don't come to the divorce meeting, you won't sign the papers, I just don't know what else to do." He sighed.

"You didn't answer my question Edward." I said sternly.

"It's an annulment. It'll be like our marriage never happened." He stated.

I could feel my blood pressure rising, and my blood boiling. "Never existed!" I hissed.

"Yes, Bella." He said simply.

"You think that by signing this, that we'll forget about our marriage? Does this paper make it so we never had Scarlett!?" I sneered.

"Oh, Bella don't start that shit." He said, his eyebrows furrowed.

I opened the envelope, and took the papers out. I tore the papers in fours, and threw them at him. I stopped in my tracks from walking back to my class, and ripped the ring off of my finger. I walked back up to him. I shoved the ring to his chest.

"I should never have married you." I seethed before walking back to the classroom.

Flashback - The Wedding

I could hear the wedding bells chiming from outside.

I took a deep breath, and walked out the door.

As I met my father at the arch, and glared down the isle, right into Edward's burning eyes, I thought of how wrong this was. To marry a man just because he was going to get fired.

I wanted this to be over.

Then, the music began.

I slowly walked down the isle, arm in arm with John; my father.

Everyone was looking at me.

But I kept my eyes focused on Edward.

He had his hands at his sides, his jaw clenched, and his nose red.

I started to cry.

I wanted this every day of my life, but I was only saving him.

I couldn't fall for him. It was against everything I believed in.

We stopped at the stairs, and, I walked up to him..

I met Edward's face, and his eyes looked pained, and sorrowful.

He reached his hands out, slowly, and I raised mine to meet his.

He clamped his fingers around my hands.

I cried harder.

"We are gathered here today, to celebrate the joining of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and Isabella Marie Swan. Edward, you may start your vows."

This had to be real, in order for Edward to keep his family business.

EDWARD

I loved her so much. I loved her because she wasn't like the others. She was beautiful in everyway.

I inhaled sharply, and grasped her hands tighter.

"Bella, I love you with all of my heart. I always have, and always will. You mean the world to me, and I wouldn't be able to live without you. I want you forever with me, to be mine always. I want to grow old with you, and die in your arms. Make a life with you, and give you the big white house with the big porch, and the swing. I want you to be happy forever, and for always. I want to be with you. I love you Bella."

I wanted to throw up.

Not because I was marrying Bella, but because I just meant every single word I just said, and somehow, she knew it.

I held her hands in mine, and felt a cold, drop on my hand.

Her tear.

I looked into her eyes, and just wanted to hold her tight, and never, ever let her go.

BELLA

I wanted to die.

For this to end.

For these feelings to go away.

Every word, I knew he meant them, but I didn't want to believe it.

"Miss Swan, I believe it is your turn."

"Edward. Everything we have been through together, has made me person that I am today. I have my happiest days when I'm with you. I want to be able to look at our baby someday, and see the same green eyes, and messy bronze hair. I want to see you next to me every time I wake up. I want to hold your hand, and walk into the world, once again. I want you to be with me forever. I love you Edward."

I looked back to his eyes, and just wanted to melt away in them.

"Do you Edward Masen Cullen, take Isabelle Marie Swan to be your lawful wedded wife, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

That's it, I'm dead.

He held my hand, and placed the white gold, diamond band on my finger, and held it tighter, like before.

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Masen Cullen to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

I took his hand, and placed the gold ring on his finger.

Oh no.

"I now pronounce you, husband, and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

EDWARD

That was it. She was my wife.

I took her face in my palms, and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

I inched closer, and lightly touched her lips to mine.

She kissed me back, lightly.

I pulled away, still having her face in my hand, and smiled a warm, smile at her.

She smiled back, faintly.

I hadn't noticed the loud clapping, and cheers coming from the benches.

I took her hand in mine, and threaded her fingers through mine.

I walked down the steps, with her hand in mine, and walked through the arch, and took her outside.

She cried into my chest.

BELLA

I couldn't let him know how happy I truly was.

I sobbed into his chest; his tux.

He held my waist, and the back of my head,

He shushed lightly into my ear.

I was just waiting for him to say it.

I was so thankful that he hadn't yet.

I looked up at him, and he stroked my cheek with his hand.

He pulled me toward the limo, and we climbed inside.

I sat across from him.

I stared out of the window, while we were being driven to the airport.

I could feel him staring at me, his gaze burning into my cheek.

I slowly turned my head to him, and just stared at him.

His eyes looked irritated, like he had been crying.

I wouldn't be surprised.

I scooted over to the other side of the limo, and sat next to him.

I placed my hand on his thigh.

He covered my hand with his, and traced the ring with his finger.

He swirled it around my finger, and glanced out the window.

"You can take it off now."

"What?""The ring, you don't have to wear it, its over."

"I want to, its, it's a, gorgeous ring Edward."

He met my stare, and smiled.

He took my hand back in his.

"I never doubted you Bells."

"I know Edward."

I squeezed his hand tighter.

End Of Flashback

BELLA

I stalked over to him, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry." I sobbed.

"It's okay baby. I'm sorry too." He said quietly into my ear.

NOTE: I haven't been getting many reviews, which makes me think that people don't like it, and I feel forced to write. So let me know if you like it. Even if you tell me; "cool" it makes me happy. But when you don't review, I feel like I'm just forced to write these chapters. So, please…just review.

XOXO

Steph