Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited and story-alerted! I'm glad you did and appreciate it very much! I haven't gotten aorund to replying to all of your wonderful reviews yet, but I will, today. Just wanted to get this out there. I have terrible real life stress coming up in the next few weeks, featuring mock exams, Spanish orals and presentations, so after next chapter updates will be a little slow for a few weeks. Afterwards I should be fine. :) Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. I don't own FMA.
Dreams on Fire
-Chapter 4-
The men had left, but Ed stayed where he was, sitting stiffly, with his back straighter than that of the chair he was perched on. The revelation of a plot against Mustang had left him to stumble into an uncomfortable realisation. Mustang was in danger. The thought was even more chilling since Ed had always, and perhaps naïvely, relied on the comforting knowledge that the Colonel was untouchable, unstoppable and invincible.
It seemed so stupid to him now. How could he ever have believed that Mustang was anything but mortal? Of course he was. He had simply never thought it possible; or maybe he had always refused to believe it, because Mustang was a constant in his life, always there to give him a mission, always there when he got back from one to snark at him and demand a report, always annoyingly alive and self-satisfied, but always there, always there.
It was hard to wrap his mind around something as incomprehensible and dreadful as an injured or dead Mustang. Ed wasn't stupid. He had seen death, and knew it well. He had dealt it with trembling but decisive hands, he had screamed himself hoarse cursing it, and had passed through it and known it inside the Gate. Death was his companion. Ed was aware of the fragility of Al's life; he even accepted that his mother, who had used to be the one who he could never picture dying, had succumbed to death. And yet, it was as though the usual rules didn't apply to Mustang in his mind.
The Flame Alchemist was a fortress against things as mundane as death, and Ed could picture Mustang meeting death and instead of submitting, laughing in its face and walking away unscathed.
A brief, wan smile flitted across his lips and the marginal comfort it gave brought in its wake a rush of tiredness.
His back finally slumped from its rigid position and he leaned forward and down, closer to the suddenly soft-seeming and inviting-looking textbooks.
And when his head rested on his crossed arms and on the books, they felt like the most comfortable thing he had ever lain on. Damn, he was tired.
Like a patient predator, his tiredness had stalked him throughout the day and finally, it had sunk its teeth into his body, dragging him off into the dark cave of sleep, and Ed knew it would not let go until he got some much-needed rest. Promising himself that he'd only close his eyes for a few moments at most, he let his eyelids droop and shut. Only a few minutes and he'd get to work on finding out what exactly those bastards were up to... only a few minutes...
Ed was in the library, standing between the high shelves of the Earth Alchemy section.
He wondered idly how he had ended up there, because he distinctly remembered that he had been seated at a table in the Mathematical Alchemy section.
Ah well, he sometimes spaced out when he was deep in thought. He had probably moved here without really paying attention to where he was going. Figured.
A thought tickled at his mind, attempting to remind him that something important had happened, something he should be dealing with and investigating, but as much as he thought about it, he couldn't put his finger on what he should be doing.
Ed's nose suddenly alerted him to the faint, curling scent of smoke in the air.
Ed frowned. Was someone smoking in the library? If so, that was incredibly stupid. The librarians would be upon them in a flash and what they'd do to the offender wouldn't be pretty. Librarians were a secretly vicious breed. They were wonderfully agreeable until someone messed with their beloved books.
Ed followed the faint scent and silent dread pooled in his stomach as smoke started curling around the shelves and drifting in thick swathes through the aisles.
Shit. Something was burning.
Ed started running.
As his pounding feet took him closer to the fire, he looked around frantically, hoping to see someone, anyone, who was trying to extinguish the fire or rushing off to alert someone.
"Hello?", he called, hearing his own voice weakly drifting away from him and getting lost between the empty shelves.
No answer came.
"Is anybody here? There's a fire!"
The silence grew, becoming a living, oppressive thing that seemed to be perched under the high roof and was slowly drifting down, becoming a clawed and toothed blanket pressing down on him with its heavy presence.
The library was eerily empty and each aisle he glanced into as he passed in his hurry was filled with nothing more than billowing black smoke.
Now, the roar of the high flames was becoming louder and louder, at first whispering through his being and, as he moved closer, roaring in his ears with its rushing sound of displaced air and hungry flames.
Where the hell were those librarians when you needed them? Books were burning, for goodness' sake! They should be all over the place, dousing the flames and crying over the books lost as if they were loved ones.
Something was wrong.
Finally, the fire came into view. Ed could discern the Mathematical Alchemy section in the bright glare of the flames and felt a twinge of fear lance through him.
Why did it matter that it was this particular section that burned? His mind screamed the answer at him, but the roar of the fire was too loud and he was deaf to its words.
A thought came to him out of nowhere, and Ed carefully brought his hands together, a tentative array flowing though his mind, which focused his will on the fire in front of him, allowing him to feel the elements rage and rip into each other in their vicious dance.
He swallowed. How was he supposed to control something like that? It felt like a wild animal that had been enraged and pushed into a mindless, destructive rage that nothing could calm.
And how did he even know how to feel the elements burning in the flames? He knew nothing of Fire Alchemy. His mind again tried to answer, but nothing came forth.
Again, he pushed his awareness toward the fire and with it, sent power to seep into the chaos. He couldn't decide which element to isolate—oxygen because there was less of it in the fire, or hydrogen, for being the more volatile of the two?
The decision was rendered unnecessary. A horrible moment of vertigo, and then the power he had pushed into the flames was sent back, whipping across his body in wild, slashing motions, no longer under his control. Ed winced and closed his eyes against the ice-blue rebound.
And through the whirlwind of snarling alchemy he could sense tendrils of foreign power controlling the flames, feeding and defending them. It was the same power that had torn Ed's away and had sent it right back in a dangerous wave of unbridled alchemy.
Stretching a desperate hand out and reaching into the white-blue tempest of alchemy around him, Ed forced a storage array into being, feeding it with the loose energy around until it had calmed around him and obeyed his will.
"This is not your fire to control." The icy voice clashed with the surrounding heat, never yielding, never melting.
Ed whirled around, and where before had only been empty aisles and foreboding shelves, the Flame Alchemist stood.
Ed felt a surge of triumph and let a grin break out across his face. He'd never been happier to see the bastard before. They were safe.
"Well, if it's not mine to control, then you go and extinguish it. What took you so long?"
But Mustang didn't move, only regarding him with dark eyes that reflected the firelight eerily.
Ed was starting to feel twitchy. The library was burning, and invaluable books with it. Urgency lanced through him. "Get going! What are you waiting for?!"
Finally, Mustang lifted his gloved hand and snapped.
It was only a split second that Ed felt relieved, because instead of dying, the flames erupted from behind him, rushing outward unnaturally, reaching out to him with hungry heat.
"What the fuck, Mustang??!", he managed to gasp as he jumped aside and rolled to evade one of the farther-reaching tongues of flame.
The edge of a small fire that had sneaked up on him unnoticed curled around his foot and in its heat he could feel the same power as before. He yanked his foot away, disturbed by the odd feeling it had caused to chase through his veins.
"What's wrong with you?!", Ed yelled at the motionless figure, rage tearing at his rational thoughts. "Why the fuck are you the one controlling these flames? You should put them out, not send them after me!"
Mustang snapped again.
For the first time in his life, that sound sent dread through Ed.
He didn't stop to think and only let his hands do the work. He clapped and transmuted the stone floor to rise and rush at the Flame Alchemist, a giant hand bent on capturing, but very capable of destruction.
Mustang evaded and a parody of a grin was fighting its way across his features. He snapped again and flames roared from his fingertips to engulf Ed.
For a second, pleasure as blinding as the bright fire around him ate at him and threatened to consume him, but with a defiant yell, Ed brought his hands together and stone walls erupted from the ground around him, pushing the fire away for a moment with their rushing movement.
Ed seized the chance and ran toward Mustang, away from the inferno raging behind him. He clapped and transmuted his automail to a sharp point. He needed to disable the Flame Alchemist.
Ed charged.
His attack missed. One second, Mustang was looking at him in challenge, and the next, the spot he had been standing on was empty. Ed's eyes darted around to catch a glimpse of the blue military coat and the bastard who wore it.
There were only the deserted, yawning corridors of the library.
A mocking laugh filtered through his mind, echoing from the far reaches of the library and he glared into the darkness. Mustang was somewhere among those shelves.
He growled and started sprinting away from the fire and into the maze.
The corridors were empty. Ed had come to a stop in a small aisle that held only a table and a chair and he was cursing the sheer size of the library when suddenly, the sound of a snap chilled him to the core. He threw up his arms and steeled himself for the heat and pain that would follow.
Heat did follow. He was vaguely aware of the fire's wind blowing through his hair and its brightness burning the back of his eyelids. But no pain followed. Ed frowned a second at not feeling anything until, without warning, he was overwhelmed with sheer feeling.
Ed managed to lift his head, meeting Mustang's gleaming eyes at the entrance to the aisle, watching as a small smirk started tugging at those mocking lips.
Sensation slammed into him. Burning, blazing heat rushed through his blood and initially he wasn't sure what he was feeling, because it was too much, too much, until he gasped in a shaky breath of air and a tortured moan of pleasure clawed its way from his throat.
And as if by defining the sensation running through him he had truly awakened it, the fire inside him increased in intensity ten-fold, consuming him as the glare he had levelled at Mustang melted away into an open-mouthed mask of bliss in the unbearable heat flickering between them.
Only Ed's mind kept screaming at him as his body surrendered.
Darkness rushed to claim him.
The world was no longer burning. Ed gasped in a breath of air, his breath coming in pants as the sudden loss of pleasure left him momentarily disoriented.
Mustang must have lost control of the flames.
"Edward? What's the matter?" Mustang's voice came from a different direction and it didn't sound mocking, but Ed's anger boiled over. After what the bastard had done...!
Ed whipped up his head.
Mustang was too close, too close. Ed could feel traces of flames reawakening and with a war cry, he launched himself over the table onto the ground of the aisle he was in and landed in a fighting stance a few steps behind Mustang.
oO0Oo
The inner office was silent as the outer office was alive with activity and Hawkeye's commanding voice.
Roy was feeling guilty. Oh yes, he would never admit to it, but that didn't change the fact that he was aware that he might have pushed Fullmetal a little too far. He seemed to do that too often lately.
Sighing aggravatedly, he pushed a hand through his hair.
Roy never meant to elicit real anger and true resentment when he teased Edward; all he wanted was that brief, bright flare of irritation that could bring a smirk to his own lips and without words told both Fullmetal and him that everything was as it should be.
Only that after the episode with the missions and his comments to Ed, his subordinate had reacted more strongly than ever and it had been cold fury instead of fleeting annoyance that had crystallised the air between them.
Roy wasn't sure if it was only his prodding at Edward's temper that had played a role in Ed's outbursts of bitterness the last two days, or if something else was the matter. As time wore on, he began to suspect the latter.
Ed felt... more distant and yet much more easily irritable than usual and his reaction to Roy's concerned questions as to his emotional state was... dismissive at best. What was weighing on his mind? What had made him change?
He passed an absent hand over the stack of missions at his side and wondered if he should apologise. Usually, apologies were not something he could wrap his pride around, but Fullmetal was a different case.
Staring at his hand and at the mission requests beneath, he began flipping through them again. Perhaps Fullmetal would be more agreeable if he gave him a mission that showed how much faith he had in him.
Roy might have given Edward the impression that he thought him less than capable when it came to missions involving field work, but nothing could be further from the truth. Out of his subordinates, it was Fullmetal who he trusted most to get an assignment done, despite the furious calls he received by local officials and the considerable collateral damage Edward left in his wake.
The passion he directed at everything he did and the personal involvement he developed in the course of a mission let Fullmetal achieve the greatest of things and get through the toughest of situations.
It silently impressed Roy, which, again, was something he would never tell anyone, least of all Ed himself. Ed's passion for life was simply so fascinating; Roy had seen and quietly observed the countless soldiers that had been put under the petite alchemist's spell by watching him fight with those graceful flips and measured jumps, with that underlying, boiling fervour of his passion.
Roy was honest with himself. Edward's passion had, on occasion, managed to pull him in, and had elicited strongly passionate responses from him. It happened when they fought, it had happened when they had faced off on Central Command's courtyard, and still continued to happen whenever Ed's ardour boiled over and ignited the air around him.
In those moments, Roy was a helpless spectator to his own actions and on those occasions always prayed that he would not do anything to get closer to that source of heated enthusiasm.
And because Ed's passion had always been there, even in the darkest of his days, it was so disturbing to see it gone, replaced by coldness and an empty existence.
Ed needed a purpose, and Roy was going to try his utmost to give him one.
He grabbed the entire stack on impulse and left the inner office, only stopping shortly to ask Breda where Fullmetal had gone.
When he was told, a small smile formed on his lips. The library. It figured.
Still, he couldn't help but wonder what Ed would be researching. After all, there was no longer any goal he was aiming for and no research to be done.
Arriving at the library, he asked a passing librarian if they had seen Edward, but the young woman only shook her head and Roy was left to search the entire library for his subordinate.
He checked the obvious sections, such as the Advanced Theoretical Alchemy section and the Practical Transmutations section, but the first was empty and the other had two young men who looked as though they'd only just passed their State Alchemist examination.
After checking a few less obvious sections, he resigned himself to walking through the aisles and checking each for the blond.
He was about to give up and return to his office when he glimpsed a head of golden hair sprawled over a table in a narrow aisle. Frowning, he stepped closer and checked the binding of one of the books in the shelf to his left.
Applications of Quantum Mechanics and Integrals in Theoretical Alchemy, it read.
He shuddered and averted his gaze. What was Fullmetal doing in the Mathematical Alchemy section? At least now the fact that Ed was slumped over his books and sleeping made sense now. No one could stay awake with reading material as dry as this.
Sighing, he walked closer to at least remove some of the uncomfortable-looking books from under Edward's arms, but his advance was abruptly halted when a sound erupted from Ed's mouth that chased shivers down his spine.
Ed moaned.
Roy stopped in his tracks like a deer caught in the headlights. His hearing sharpened to listen for anything else that might pass Ed's lips, but the only thing he could hear now was Edward's harsh breathing.
Roy didn't blush, but he was pretty close to it. What the hell was Fullmetal dreaming about?!
Suddenly, Ed's breathing changed and he made a small, startled sound that told Roy he had returned to wakefulness. Ed kept his head cast down, as though he were momentarily disoriented. Still, the panting breaths continued, but now Roy realised that they were edged with panic.
Concerned, Roy took a tentative step closer. "Edward? What's the matter?"
He hadn't expected Ed's head to whip up that fast. He also didn't expect the wild look in those golden eyes that screamed fear, anger and the vicious desperation of a cornered animal.
In a split second, Ed had vaulted over the table, flipped in the air and landed right behind him in a tense and alert fighting stance, the reason for which was beyond Roy.
Wary and burning eyes were watching each of his movements and Roy just stared.
Edward flowed into a defensive stance, eyes sparking with rage. "You bastard! Stop setting me on fire!!"
Before Roy had any time to process the preposterous accusation, least of all formulate a coherent defence, Ed clapped his hands with a vengeance, creating a rushing wave of stony ground that twisted into a sharp point and struck out toward Roy.
He felt his own eyes widen in horrified surprise and his instincts took over as, a split second before Ed's attack impaled him, he snapped his fingers, blowing up the incoming threat and singeing the furniture and shelves in the process. Books were smouldering at the edges and Ed was just about to start another attack when Roy rushed forward, gripping Edward's arms and keeping them apart.
"Fullmetal! Stop this right now!"
He was utterly bewildered, but had enough presence of mind to not let Ed's hands get too close to each other. Fullmetal wasn't himself right now.
Ed fought back as hard as he could, and Roy let his voice snap into the sharp, powerful mould of command, which made Fullmetal instinctively halt in his desperately flailing motions.
"Look at me, Major!"
Edward needed to calm down or someone was going to get hurt. Roy felt the reluctance in Ed as he slowly tilted up his head to glance past Roy, as if driven to obey against his will.
"No, look into my eyes."
Edward's wary gaze wandered to meet Roy's eyes, and Roy attempted to express with them a message that would not reach Fullmetal through his words. You're safe. You're fine. I'm not going to hurt you. Trust me.
Ed's eyes flickered, like candles burning near an open window, and they seemed to search him for exactly what he was giving.
Instinctively, Roy tightened his hands on Edward's arms and then, never letting the connection of their eyes break, slowly and warily let go.
Edward had calmed and looked as though he was about to say something, when an outraged voice behind them stopped Ed from speaking.
"What do you think you're doing?"
They both whipped around guiltily, to see an irate librarian blocking the exit of the aisle, glaring at the rubble around them and the smouldering books that they had caused in their brief scuffle.
"We're just talking!", Ed tried.
The librarian's eyes seemed to darken and spark with protectiveness. "And which part of talking involves fighting and", here he looked at the transmuted floor and the singed edges of the books, "the usage of alchemy? That's forbidden in the library!!"
Roy cleared his throat, meaning to take control of the situation, because obviously, Ed was not going to handle it well.
"We are very sorry, but—"
The librarian fixed him with his glower, but then he suddenly seemed to recognise him. "The Flame Alchemist!"
Oh, Roy loved it when they were so awed by his presence; surely they'd have no trouble—
"You are responsible for this! You used Fire Alchemy in a library! You are a menace to books!"
Roy was taken aback and wanted to say something along the lines of Ed also being involved, but the librarian wasn't done yet. The short man took one deep breath, as though invoking the power of his position and stabbed a finger at Roy's chest.
"You are banned from this Library!"
"What about Ed?!" Roy asked indignantly and perhaps childishly.
The librarian glanced over to Ed, who looked disgustingly innocent.
"Edward Elric is a good boy. Aren't you?"
Edward nodded with an innocent, borderline simpering smile and the librarian turned back to Roy with a satisfied huff.
Roy saw Ed flash him a triumphal smile, which was amplified when the librarian pointed to Roy.
"You. Out."
But the tables were turned immediately. Roy couldn't suppress his own smirk when the librarian fixed his disapproving eyes on Ed.
"You. Clean up this mess."
oO0Oo
Ed was transmuting the last bits of rubble back into the stone floor, having already returned the books to their previous, unharmed state. Bless libraries and their lack of wind.
He was feeling extremely embarrassed. He had fucking attacked Mustang after waking up from his dream. Mustang must think him a total nut case.
Which he damn well was! What was he doing, confusing those stupid dreams with reality? Sure, his dream had taken place in the very same library he had fallen asleep in, but something should have tipped him off that his dream was over.
Shit! And how long had he been asleep? Ed whipped out his silver pocket watch and sighed in annoyance as he saw the hands already pointing to a quarter to three. He was damn hungry. And he felt like swearing.
He let his tired feet carry him to the exit, thoughts shuffling toward the inexplicable pleasure in his dream and recoiling in mortification.
Stepping out into the glaring afternoon sunshine, Ed was startled by the presence of Mustang, who was leaning against one of the sturdy pillars with a pinched expression on his features. It seemed he had waited for him to come out.
Ed didn't bother stopping as he passed the man, having expecting it when Mustang fell into step beside him. He fleetingly wondered if the older man was angry about being banned from the library.
Before Mustang could say anything, Ed summoned his considerable will power and momentarily asked his pride to lay low. This whole incident had been his fault, and remembering the men and their plot against Mustang only helped increase his feeling of pitying guilt.
"I'm sorry." I'm sorry you were banned. I'm sorry I attacked you. I'm sorry I dreamed that way about you. I'm sorry you are in danger and I haven't been able to do anything yet.
Mustang, of course, only heard his apology and not the depths it reached to. Ed's apology was like an iceberg Mustang was viewing from a ship. To him, it was small and simple, albeit being larger than itself under the surface of the dark waters.
The sigh Mustang let out was only moderately aggravated and Ed thought he sounded more resigned than anything.
"I don't care about being banned, Edward. It's more the reason for your attack I am concerned about."
Damn. He'd have to come up with a lie. And quick.
He made sure to give his voice a casual, careless tinge. "I was having a nightmare, that's all."
Ed could feel Mustang's eyes on his face, but he didn't turn his head to meet them, because he didn't trust himself to hide all the secrets that were piling up behind his eyes.
"That's not all, Fullmetal. I saw you. You woke up, you saw me, registered that it was me, and attacked. It wasn't some monster born from your nightmares you wanted to kill, it was me you wanted to attack, wasn't it?"
Mustang's voice had grown quieter, and it sounded so very serious.
Ed's thoughts flailed for a moment in indecisive panic, before settling on denial. He scoffed.
"It was just coincidence."
"Does 'Stop setting me on fire, you bastard' sound familiar to you?"
Ed growled, defaulting into defensive anger. "Okay! So I dreamed about you, so what? You were a freaking bastard in this one, kept trying to set me on fire! Are you happy now?"
"'This one'? You had more?"
Damn. That. Fucking. Bastard. He was too damn perceptive and listened too closely to what Ed said.
His eyes felt like spitting fire and he glared daggers in Mustang's direction, when, gaze drawn past the man's face, he registered the tall figure of Roland walking toward the Library in the distance.
Reality slammed home and Ed swallowed convulsively, momentarily ripped from their conversation until Mustang reminded him of his presence.
"You dream about me, Fullmetal?" It was said with a leering edge of mockery.
"Just shut up." The anger Ed conjured in response was merely a pale replica of his usual passionate eruption of temper. The plot against the man next to him was too present in his mind and was a constant, sobering reminder of the Colonel's vulnerability.
He kept glancing past Mustang to where Roland was disappearing into the large building, his own embarrassment and anger taking second precedence over the priority of Mustang's safety.
It was a clash of the two realities they shared. The teasing, mocking reality that Mustang lived right now was colliding with the loyal, protective and serious reality that Ed had been so unexpectedly thrown into.
Ed debated whether he should follow Roland and find out what he could do to bring him and his accomplices down, or if he should return to the office with Mustang and pretend everything was all right.
No. Nothing was all right. He couldn't fucking pretend it was. Mustang was already regarding him with a frown at his uncharacteristic behaviour.
"I have to go", Ed finally said decisively, offering no explanation, his mind already formulating plans and strategies, gearing up into overdrive as he turned and sprinted back to the Library, leaving behind a baffled Mustang carrying a stack of missions that he had wanted to assign in a gesture of good will.
oO0Oo
I wasn't sure whether to end it here or include the next part, but then the chapter would have become very very long, so I decided to put it in the next chapter. FYI: I'm feeling romantic right now, because I just finished watching 'A Room With A View'... Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!