(A/N: Hey! Sorry this took me so long to get up…I had to expand my knowledge on grilling -I'm more a stovetop person- and I've been swamped lately. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter!)

Thing Number 9: Grilling

I must say, of all the strange exploits Marie has forced me to partake in thus far, grilling has to be my favorite.

This? This I might actually use…

"Heads up!!"

I lurched out of the chair in which I had been lounging, paperback dropping dejectedly to the ground as my eyes snapped open wide and my hands flew up to snatch the offending object out of the air. I blinked down at it, bewildered, adrenaline rush ebbing. "W-what?"

Marie threw her bag onto the couch, collapsing next to it in a fit of hilarity. "Wow! I didn't know your reflexes were that good!"

"Oh, ha, ha…" I sighed, drooping back into the chair. "Why do I feel like we've been here before? What is it with you and tricking me? To think-using my superb reaction skills against me, and with this-" I glanced down at it, "this set of tongs!"

Marie flopped onto her stomach, grinning over an arm of the couch at me with her chin on her folded hands. "I'm keeping you sharp, that's all. It's okay-you don't have to thank me."

I shook my head, giving up. "What are these for, by the way?" I help up the tongs questioningly.

"What do they look like they're for?" She raised an eyebrow as a challenge.

"Okay, I get it Marie. But often when I'm dealing with you the simplest objects take on strange roles. So I'll ask you again-what are these for?"

She rolled off the couch, plucking them from my hand with a pout. "You're no fun…if you have to know I suppose it wouldn't hurt to inform you that they're here to save your masculinity."

I blinked, not entirely sure I had heard right. "What?"

"My friend-Charlotte's mum-heard about the sunrises and watercolor painting and decided that your 'manliness' had been violated-"

"Whoa, hold on-you told her about me? What-"

"Chill out, paranoia-man. She already knows I have a 'boyfriend', and she wanted to know how life was treating Charlotte, so I told her what we've been doing to fill the days. Not why we've been doing it or what's come of it, but just enough for her to fear for you…"

"Oh." I leaned back in the chair. I decided I gave Marie too little credit sometimes. She'd certainly adjusted well to living with a heck of a secret day in and day out. "Okay. So where do those tongs come in?"

Marie rolled her eyes. "My exceedingly helpful friend suggested grilling to remedy your condition…"

I had to laugh at that. "Really? That's interesting…I think it's safe to say I don't remember anything about it, though."

"I know." She whacked me playfully on the head with the tongs, disappearing into the kitchen. "You don't remember anything, Jason."

I shrugged and paused for a moment before following her to my fate. As much as I hated to admit it, she had a point…

--X--

"Hold this. Oh, and here-don't forget that. You need that…wait, wait, wait! This, too! Goodness, Jason, you are awful at this!"

The stare I affixed her with was glacial. "I apologize for my incompetence, grilling master. I didn't realize I was in the presence of an expert."

"Oh, look, I'm blushing now." Marie breezed over to the kitchen door, sliding it open nonchalantly, immune to my sarcasm. She glanced over her shoulder at me. "Coming?"

What other option did I have? "I suppose I am…" Stepping through the doorframe, I came to discover a small grill sitting expectantly next to Alfonce. Charlotte was barking at it. "Tell me that's not a permanent landscaping feature?"

"Of course not, Jason dear. It's only borrowed from-"

"That's alright-I think I've heard enough stories about your interesting friends for one day."

"Your loss." Marie ginned, flipping open the grill top and placing the tray of 'matter to be grilled' next to it grandly. Turning to me, she motioned dramatically at the grill. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"I-suppose so." Minutes ago I had been repeatedly drilled in charcoal grill lighting protocol. The only part left was to utilize my astounding order following skills and actually light the grill.

I reluctantly accepted the bag of charcoal Marie held out to me, pouring enough of it to coat the bottom, then, dropping the bag to the ground, I scooped the charcoal into a cone and poured lighter fluid over it, minding to avoid my clothes. The last thing I needed was to set myself on fire…'Thing Number 10: Going to the Emergency Room' would not be fun.

Striking the match with a flick of my wrist, I held it to the bottom of the coals until the fire caught, stepping back to blow it out when I had finished. Before long, the fire had worked its way over the coals, and most of them glowed white on the surface. Marie tossed me the tongs and I spread them out cautiously.

Closing the lid, I flopped onto the ground beside Alfonce. A glance at his somewhat shriveled leaves revealed his discontentment with his new, extremely dehydrating yard-mate.

"You think he could use a drink?" I patted Alfonce's trunk fondly, staring up at Marie and awaiting her answer as intently as if the tree had been a bonafide human being.

"Sure." Marie sipped at her iced tea, which she had brought out to almost turn my ordeal with the grill into a sort of show. "I know he'll appreciate your thoughtfulness, Jason."

I rolled my eyes, abandoning the tongs by the side of the grill to unwrap the ragged hose from its resting place. I turned the knob for the water hard, finally hearing it yield to my force with an offended groan.

Marie eyed me as I stepped over to Alfonce, letting the clear liquid dribble down his trunk to soak into the dusty ground beneath him. She made no move to approach me, however; the day of Alfonce's introduction to our home was still clear in her mind.

"Look at the bright side," I turned my head to Marie without removing my eyes from the little tree, "if the grill gets out of hand we can douse it, too, this time."

"You're splendidly hilarious, dear…"

I looked at her then, grinning. "Thing is I'm serious."

She sipped at her drink again, eyes narrowing. "I know…"

--X--

"Aren't these steaks a tad…thin?"

"You're a novice, darling-it's always best to start small."

I shot her a sideways look. "Glad to know you have such confidence in me, Marie…"

"Of course, Jason." She flopped a steak onto the grill, offering me the plate.

"Thanks." I seized the rest with my tongs, positioning them carefully and shooting Marie a chastising look.

She shrugged it off nonchalantly. "To each his own."

I shook my head, staring down into the glowing coals. Eventually I crouched down by the side of the grill, lifting the corner of each steak up meticulously to survey the undersides. The grill marks were turning black-it was time to turn them.

"You've certainly studied up." Marie's voice hinted that she was impressed, despite the fact that it was laced with sarcasm.

I straightened, glancing back at her before re-focusing my attention on the grill. "I thought it best in order to avoid burning the house down…or singeing Alfonce," I added with a chuckle.

"Kudos to you…"

Charlotte trotted over to us then, enticed by the aroma of smoke and cooking meat. She planted herself attentively at my side, staring up with her huge blue eyes from such close range that she was terribly unnerving.

I grinned, giving in, and tore a small chunk off one of the steaks with the tongs, throwing it to Charlotte, who leapt up to seize it in her teeth and raced off to devour it safely several yards away.

"Good Charlotte," I laughed.

Marie replaced Charlotte at my side. "Goodness, Jason," she sighed, watching the collie's mirth. "If you keep feeding her like that, she'll get so spoiled that my friend will call up to ask what happened to her over here!"

"Oh, lighten up," I shoved her with my elbow, turning the last steak. "She never gets anything other than that horrid dog food…I think I would stop eating if all you fed me was that!"

She wrapped her arms around my neck, balancing on her toes. "It tastes good to dogs! Besides, it's got all sorts of essential vitamins and minerals!"

I smiled down at her. "If it's so good, then why does she always make that disgusted face when she eats it?"

Marie kissed me playfully, pulling away and retreating to her iced tea. "Now you're just imagining things, darling,"

--X--

"I have to say, Jason, for having cooked all of one time since we've been together-no, don't interrupt! Macaroni and cheese doesn't count! -this came out fairly well. We even managed to keep the grounds in tact!"

"It's true," I admitted around a mouthful of my hard earned meal. "I was just hoping we'd be able to see the meat underneath the blackness."

"Well, you managed." Marie cut off a piece of her own steak. "I might even have to upgrade you to 'meal manager' once a week."

"Oh, I don't know…let's not get outrageous here…"

That alluring smile of Marie's captured my eyes when I glanced over at her. I sighed. There was no way out of it now. I chewed my steak vehemently.

"Okay…"