Bakura: There is a reason Egyptians and penguins do NOT mix.
LD:Oh, just shut up.
Bakura: make me!
LD: .............(grins evilly)
Bakura: O__o Oh crap. Can you please just forget I said that?
Tea: And five minutes of scuffling and one wedgie later.....
Bakura: X_X
LD: ^__^
Tea: ...oh boy.
LD:What? All I did was give him a wedgie and yank on his hair a bit.
Tea: A 5000 year old vengeful spirit with a tender scalp? Go figure. LD does not own any of the original YuGiOh plots or characters.
.............................................................................................................................................................................................
Malik didn't understand. He could ask what she meant, but that would be rather awkward, though not so much as the time he took over her body, he reflected with a grimace. That fell strictly under the category of odd, easily misunderstood, and never to be repeated or brought up as a conversation topic while in the presence of anyone not deaf. Very, very deaf.
Tea aimed and fired, chucking her empty cup straight into the bin. "You had such a terrible childhood." she said softly. "I thought, before I heard about your life, that you were just some random brat, bent on hurting everyone you could just because you could, just because you craved power and attention."
She looked down, then up, meeting his bemused lavender eyes. "Then Ishizu told us the details of your youth, in between gazing off in the distance and grinning oddly, and I, I guess I started to understand. It wasn't as though I ever agreed with what you were doing, but a measure of respect for you still took hold inside of me. It lies far beyond my ability to imagine," her voice dropped, and a struggle for words, for the right words raised flags behind her blue eyes. "to even begin to comprehend what it must have been like, reared from the cradle below ground, away from the world, surrounded by duties passed down for years. I can't fathom being told, from my earliest day, that my whole life would bbe in dedication to someone else."
She smiled a little helplessly. "I have always loved my freedom."
Malik didn't know what to do. No one had ever said: We agree that your childhood was wrong, that your father was wrong, that you deserved better.
No. After the final battle was done, Yami forgave him, and everyone swooned in awe at the Pharaoh's all inspiring graciousness in doing so. And that was that: Yami went on to save the world and lecture more people and Malik went home with the obsessive sister.
"Honestly," Tea continued shyly. "A little bit of me admired what you did. Most people would have simply submitted to the pressure that their family imposed on them, but you defied it and went in pursuit of your own happiness. I had to look up to that, even though it-"
"-Could most definitely been done in a better way?" Malik interjected wryly, having rediscovered his tongue.
She gave a half-shrug. "Yeah, But I think you still, in a weird kind of way, did the right thing."
Malik smiled at her, a true smile that lit his eyes and his heart. Several passerbys fainted. On impulse, he grabbed Tea's hand and kissed it softly. No one had ever told him that, and he felt like he had been waiting to hear it a long, long time.
............................................................................................................................
Tea thought her heart had stopped in her chest. She mentally kicked herself, forcing down the blush that had oddly wanted to rise on her cheeks.
She leaned over, grinning at him. "So, I don't suppose we've been to Weevil's Bug Emporium yet?"
The look on his face was priceless. "H-he has one?" Malik stammered out, looking faintly horrified.
Happily, Tea grabbed his hand, tugging him up. "Yep," she said. "And we're about to go visit it!" He shot her a glance that said clearly: are you mad?
She just laughed. "By the way," she added as she tugged him along. "Bakura fainted when he went in the first time."
"........oh Ra...."
..........................................................................................................................................................
Bakura sneezed, upsetting the piles of paper he was brooding over. So the teachers thought they could order him to oblige their uninspired wishes? He sneered, then threw back his head and cackled. He was no genie in a bottle, they held no power over him!
In other words, he had no intention at all of doing his homework. Oh no. These pieces of mental slavery were on a one way trip to the lavatory, and if Bakura were truly incensed at that point then a few of the assignments would make their way down the throats of some very unfortunate nerds.
Unfortunately, he neglected to take a breath in the midst of his maniacal cackling, and after a few minutes of terrifying old dinosaur bones with his laughter-because the depth of his lair was almost as ridiculous as Yami's hair-he emitted a hideous gargling noise and fell over twitching.
Ryou, miles above on the surface, heard the raspy noise through the walkie-talkie he had planted in what he liked to call : Bakura's Quiet Place. The fact that he detected quite clearly the sound over the noise of the vacuum cleaner he was using boded ill for his albino yami.
Not that he, at the moment, particularly sympathized. Tilting up his dainty nose in an expression of extreme disgust, he turned off the walkie talkie and stomped away, frilly apron swirling about him.
"It's called muffin karma, wanker."
Really, it was Bakura's own fault for deciding to make his lair somewhere in the molten mess of the inner mantle. He just had to try and express his 'uniqueness' again.
Ryou viciously bit into one of the muffins Bakura had timidly left for him. They were KaibaCorp muffins with imprints of duel monsters on them, strictly appealing to the hardcore fan with no life whatsoever. Of course these would be the ones Bakura brought back.
They tasted like crap left out in the sun for a few days.
Running to the sink, Ryou quickly flushed his mouth, gagging like Bakura did whenever he saw a romance preview, or a romance book, or Yami, or puppies, or anything pink, which really rather explained why he didn't quite get along with Tea. Although it could also be the fact that she had kicked him very forcefully you-know-where.
Out of morbid curiousity, Ryou scrutinized the muffin package, skimming through the ingredients. His lovely, chocolate eyes flew open wide; his pink lips dropped open with a small pop as indescribable horror mounted in him
And then Ryou followed his Yami straight into a wonderful land where anything is possible and many things happen that you wish very strongly wouldn't, but no body listens to you.
Aka he fainted.
....................................................................................................................................................................
Yugi sighed and dusted the counter for a third time. Yami and Kaiba were still having at it, even though it was hours later. They had run, Kaiba's oddly spiky trench coat impaling anything stupid or slow enough to get in his way, Yami in his tutu burning the eyes of anyone would didn't turn away in time. The last Yugi saw him, the former Pharaoh also managed to tick off some birds he had accidentally poked with his hair. Well, there had to be some downsides to parading around on a giant, knife-wielding penguin.
He knew he had to be more cheerful; Yami would return soon, gloating over Kaiba's defeat once more.
Although, Yugi reflected, Yami never really did brag so much as he glowed with renewed confidence after every triumph. His expressive crimson eyes would positively burn, and his posture was always just a tad bit straighter.
Yugi sighed and dusted the counter for a fourth time. They never received many customers at this time of day; most people arrived later, hoping to snag a glimpse of the reveled King of Games. The hikari remembered how, every time before appearing to the public, Yami 's eyes would show a hint of fear, a whisper of vulnerability that was quickly smothered behind a cocky facade. The small boy bit his lip, clenching the rag he held tightly. Yami always felt like he had to be strong in front of others, as though simply by existing he owed everyone unshakable protection and reassurance, even if that meant he had to stifle his feelings.
Yugi sighed and dusted the counter for a fifth time. He didn't care that he was just spreading around the dirt anymore; it wasn't like he could actually see over the counter anyways.
"It's a little sad," he mused outwardly. "How much I pay attention to him...."
He dusted the counter a sixth time, and a seventh, and a twentieth, until Yami panted through the doorway, head drooping in exhaustion, pink tutu wilting on his frame.
Yugi turned to him, a huge smile on his face. "Hello Yami!"
...............................................................................................
So his doom took this face, huh? Malik stared dismally at the door that read in bright and fresh letters: Weevil's Bug Emporium.
"What are you waiting for, silly?" Tea bounced up beside him. Stealing a glance at her blue orbs, he corrected himself: the face of his true doom was a teenage girl with brown hair and the bluest of eyes with a smile that made his knees quake.
"Not my fault you're a slow walker." He finally answered. Impatiently, she rolled her eyes.
"Well it is your fault for standing unmoving outside the door for five minutes straight."
"...."
"...."
"....I wasn't sure it was the proper door?"
She looked from him, to the enormous embossed letters, and folded her arms. He glared a little at the sign, and made a mental note to graffiti this place later. Moments later, a hand latched on to his, and he was tugged into buggy doom.
...............................................................................................................................
The mold found itself in a dreadful predicament: boredom. It oozed here, it oozed there, but its boredom followed it infallibly. While at least no one could smile at it, it still found itself puking little blobs of itself at the wall to pass the time.
One slime ball. Two slimeball. Three. Four.
It paused after twenty minutes of the same, when one the blobs it had initially regurgitated began moving. Slowly, the other blobs followed its example.
Soon the first mold had a rabble of molds identical to it all sliming around. It emitted a decidedly inquisitive air before glooping-the mold's equivalent of a shrug. Learn something new every day, it guessed, and slowly oozed off to the ventilation system.
......................................................................................................................................................................
Weevil, sadly, had not attracted many customers today. Lounging over his counter between the cages, he yawned, his glasses slipping down his short nose as sleep insinuated itself in his mind.
"WEEVIL!!!"
He swore, jolting awake. For such a horrid cry to be loosed, was the world about to end? Was the shop on fire? Had some of his more poisonous bugs wriggled their way into freedom?
Oh no, wait, it was just Tea. He blinked, then rubbed his glasses, and squinted out again.
It was just Tea, wearing her usual smile....pulling along former-super villain Malik.....who appeared on the edge of either making a run for it any second, or passing out.
Weevil grinned malicioiusly. Even to a creepy bug-freak, good things occasionally happened.
"Hello Tea," he said through his nose. "What brings you and your friend to my humble place?"
"A very bad idea.." mumbled the tan boy. Still smiling, Tea kicked him swiftly. He smothered a curse with a cough, glaring at his tormentor. Weevil felt like he could sing, although the last time he had tried that, his mother had tried to jump off a skyscraper, so maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Come to think of it though, most of what he did rotated around mediocre to down right stupid-who the heck would try this- imbecilic- idiotic-moronic-dumber than Tristan Taylor ideas. It was a miracle he still breathed.
Even if it was a miracle a lot of people wished hadn't happened. The list of them currently boasted 362 filled slots. He hoped to raise that to 400 before the week was out.
"Malik just moved here," chirped Tea. The boy beside her winced at the noise. "I've been showing him around today."
"Wasn't there school today?" Weevil came out from behind the counter, flipping the sign on the window to CLOSED.
"This coming from the resident 16 year old truant?" Tea grinned, then sighed. "Today it was really bad; we weren't even able to get iin."
Unintentionally, Weevil winced; the fights outside the school were legendary all through Domino. The property damage they inflicted was just as famed.
Uncomfortably, he patted her arm, not failing to notice how the purple eyed boy suddenly tensed. Oh yeah, today was definitely his day.
"It should be alright," he said to Tea, his voice sounding like something on a Singular ad. "I mean, due to the circumstances, the school's stopped counting absences and just goes by the test grades, and they've even made the tests and lessons available online."
Running a hand through her hair, Tea groaned. "Which is the only reason I'm passing, although barely."
Weevil snickered, sounding like a blender with rocks in it. Malik edged away discreetly as the blue haired freak- I mean boy! turned to him.
"By 'barely passing', she means her grade is an A instead of an A+." He confided, a booger dripping down his upper lip- oh wait, that's just a really ugly mole. Malik tried to stop staring at it, but Ra above, that thing could send Bakura running for his life!
....Or unlife, as it happened. The scar he bore during his days as Theif King surely had nothing on that horrible, hairy protrusion!
"So you included my store on your sight-seeing trip," the freak- I mean boy! sniveled. "I must say, I'm honored."
Tea smiled. "Of course I did! It's also a good chance to see how things are going for you!"
Weevil coughed, trying to hide oddly red cheeks. "Well," the freak-I mean boy! returned. "I will never quite be able to express my gratitude for your help in getting me started here." He shot her a smile, an actual honest to bugness smile. If Malik had seen it, he might have decided that anything was possible; that Kaiba had a heart, that Bakura brushed his hair, even that Pegasus could maybe be STRAIGHT!
.............................................................
In a swirling vortex of power, the gods all gasped in unison.
"It is not possible for that man to be straight!" decreed a burly god with a trident and horns.
"It goes against everything this universe runs on!" agreed a beautiful goddess with wispy blue hair and infinite green eyes.
"If even one mind believes it to be possible, it is quite feasible that this world will instantaneously combust." snarled a great pink dragon.
The other gods took a minute to digest its unusual color. "Um, Slifer?" asked one bravely. "Is there something you want to tell us?"
Slifer regarded him stolidly, then fried him with a single attack. "Troubles with the wife," he sighed. "I may have accidentally eaten our pet dog."
After an incredibly awkward moment where everyone did their best to avoid looking at the groaning, burnt god on the floor of the vortex, the goddess spoke again.
"So we are agreed." she pounded her fist onto her invisible table. "Malik Ishtar did not see Weevil smile, because it can not, should not, and is not possible for M. Pegasus to be anything other than flamingly gay!!!"
"Or bi.." supplied one slightly inebriated god. With a twitch of Slifer's flamingo-pink tail, he soon quieted.
...................................................................................................................................
So Malik didn't see the smile. He, even after five minutes, struggled to get over the abomination that was the mole.
"So," the blue haired freak-I mean boy! rubbed his hands together. "How about I show you my latest shipment of Valgesian projectile vomiting grasshoppers? They're almost the size of my head!"
"Wow!" Tea exclaimed. The spectacled freak-I mean boy! puffed up with pride.
"Aren't they amazing?" He held up a cage for their viewing pleasure. Inside, enormous white and purple grasshoppers seethed over each other spitting yellow wads everywhere. Malik practically felt his brain explode. It was one of those moments where the disgust is so intense that it actually morphs into a kind of fascination. Beside him, Tea clapped her hands.
"They are adorable!" she squealed. "How much does one cost?" Blinking, Malik had to remind himself that it was just a few hours ago she got hit in the head with a frying pan. Maybe he should've taken her to the doctor then......
"What kind of food do they eat?" She asked, tapping the glass gently. A second later, that area of the glass got covered with yellow grasshopper puke.
Malik had more pressing questions. "What is that fucking spike on their rear-ends?"
The blue haired freak- I mean boy! resettled his glasses on his tiny nose. "Only one of their more impressive mechanisms!" He declared proudly.
Malik began to understand why Joey punched nerds. "And what does it do?" He pried.
"It shoots acid!" The freak-I mean boy! chortled, the mole on his upper lip bouncing as he did. Malik followed its progress with wide eyes. Where the heck had that thing been back when Weevil played Duel Monsters on TV? How many pixels did it take to hide it? He watched it bounce up and down, up and down. By Ra, that must have taken a whole damn truckload of pixels!
He regretted his lapse of attention when he clued in to the present though. After all, there isn't much out there more terrifying then finding your ditsy next door neighbor just purchased an eight inch tall Valgesiy thingy grass-hopper that pukes up to six feet and shoots acid up to ten.
Well, Yami in a tutu is slightly more scary and a lot more mentally damging but still......
Watching Tea hold up her new pet and coo at it through the acid proof glass, Malik felt a clench in his gut. Tea stroked the side of the glass fondly. "I'm going to call you.... Elizabeth. Elizabeth the Pink! Pinkie, for short."
Both Weevil and Malik took a long moment to digest this. A clock on the wall chimed, a mechanical spider crawling out of it to mark each hour. Feeling a bit like he had just run a marathon, Malik forced a smile in the brunette's direction.
"You do know that nothing about that th- about Elizabeth is pink, right?" He found himself really wishing he had taken her into a doctor.
Tea beamed. "Her spirit is pink!" She turned to Weevil to go over the details of her new pet.
Malik stared at Pinkie. Pinkie stared at Malik, who wished yet again for the Millennium Rod. Pinkie narrowed her red eyes, rather impressive for something without eyelids, and puked in his direction.
"Come back soon Tea!" the freak- I mean....oh who am kidding I mean FREAK! simpered at the girl. He also sent a triumphant smirk the Egyptian's way. Even freaks have their days.
About ten minutes down the road, Malik scratched his head in sudden confusion.
"Is a grass-hopper even a bug?"
Tea shrugged. "Who knows?" She brought the cage up to her face. "But you are such a cute thing, yes you are, I love you Pinkie!"
Malik felt an odd twist as she said those words, a sort of dark whisper that raged at the 'adorable' Pinkie. He sighed. That really was the last time he would eat food from that store.
Pinkie puked his way.
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Once again, sorry it has been so long. You can probably tell, but I intend to have some YugiXYami in this, and MAYBE some RyouX Bakura. I'm also considering bringing yami Malik back and having him go after Tea. Don't quite know yet. As ever, I would love some feedback. I feel like something in my writing is skewed, and your comments would really help me figure it out.
Thanks for reading!