CHAPTER 7

It was a normal morning for the girls after their late night secret beard-shaving escapade. It started out normally enough, anyways.

"Good morning, Meryl!" Millie trilled, already showered and dressed for work.

Meryl mumbled something incoherent from her bed.

"Don't worry; I'm going to get your coffee now!" Millie said. She wasn't much of a coffee drinker, but her fellow insurance agent needed it or she'd never wake up. This week was especially bad, probably because Meryl had gotten used to their vacation schedule where she had gotten to sleep in every day. Thankfully, the hotel offered complimentary coffee in the lobby.

Millie was just stepping out the door to retrieve the beverage when she heard the sound of someone rushing up the staircase. A scruffy-looking man in his pajamas burst in to the hallway. Judging from his appearance, he might have just finished running a ten ile marathon.

"Ah! Millie! You've gotta help me!" the man exclaimed upon sighting her.

"Mr. Wolfwood?" The ragged man sure did look like him.

"It's Vash! He's pissed about his beard and he's trying to kill me!" the priest sobbed. His head whipped around at the sound of feet stomping up the stairs. "Oh God, he's coming! Hide me, please!" Wolfwood begged.

"He can't be that mad, can he?" Millie said.

Suddenly, a tall man with crazy-looking blond hair appeared at the end of the hallway. His eyes looked like those of a wild animal. His teeth were borne in a snarl that only widened when he sighted Wolfwood. One side of his scowling face was covered with a beard while the other was bare.

Millie's eyes widened considerably. "Oh, he is."

Wolfwood shrieked and cowered behind the tall girl.

Vash deliberately approached the insurance agent and panicky priest. "Wolfwood…" he growled.

"I'm not here," Wolfwood squeaked.

"Yes you are, I can see you," the outlaw said. "Hand him over, Millie!"

"Why do you want him, Mr. Vash?" the girl asked innocently.

"Look what he did to me!" Vash said, angrily jabbing a finger at the half a beard on his face.

Millie shook her head. "No, it couldn't have been Mr. Wolfwood. He would never do such a thing to you!"

"Then who did it?" Vash demanded. "No one else was in my room last night, except him!" The outlaw shot eye-daggers at Wolfwood, who clasped his chest like they had actually stabbed him.

An idea began forming in Millie's mind.

"Uh oh," she said, sounding alarmed.

"What?" Vash asked.

"Was your window open last night?"

"Yeah, I think so." The gunman cocked his head, wondering what she was getting at.

"Oh no," Millie gasped. "It must have been the Beard Bandits!"

"The what?" Vash looked incredulous.

"You haven't heard of the Beard Bandits?" The blond gunman shook his head. "Oh, they've been all over the news! The Beard Bandits are a terrible band of pranksters that sneak in open windows at night. They shave off innocent people's beards, or even worse:" The insurance agent narrowed her eyes and dropped her voice to a whisper for dramatic effect. "only half."

Vash gasped in fear. "That's… that's horrible!" He straightened up, looking as dignified as a sweaty, messy-haired, half-bearded man in his pajamas could. "I will catch these Beard Bandits and save the rest of the bearded populace from their atrocious jokes!" the Humanoid Typhoon vowed.

He bent down to look at Wolfwood. "Sorry about that, roomie!" Vash apologized, embarrassed. Vash's eyes got all far-away looking. "Having a beard… it changes you."

He then marched off to his hotel room like a soldier with a mission.

Behind her, Wolfwood sighed in relief. "Thanks, hon, that saved my life!"

"Aww, it was nothing," Millie blushed.

The two of them hugged.

Meryl finally made it out of bed and saw her co-worker hugging an exhausted-looking Wolfwood in his pajamas in the hallway through the open door. She stared in confusion for a moment, than finally asked, "Did I miss something?"

Millie and Wolfwood exchanged glances. The latter exhaled tiredly.

"You have no idea," he sighed.

"Vash made a scene, didn't he?" Meryl groaned.

Wolfwood nodded slowly. "He sure did."

Author's notes!

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I can't even tell you how long I've wanted to write about the Beard Bandits!
I know I've been updating just about every day, but after today the updates are going to become sparse again since I've been on school break and today is the last day of said break. I appreciate the reviews and heck, just the fact people are reading this! Thank you very much!