Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Penelope went into work the next day with her heart torn out, she'd had the night from hell, a night of lack of sleep, a night of pain, and that wasn't even down to Kevin 'gay' Lynch. As she walked the corridor from elevator to office she just did it without a thought in her head.

'Hey baby girl, or should I say Mrs Soon-To-Be Lynch.' Derek's voice came from behind her and she just continued to walk on, Derek immediately frowned. 'I'm sorry Pen, you've been bragging on about it for so long and well I thought it was apt.'

'Well you thought wrong Morgan.' She told him bluntly as she fumbled with her keys, she beyond exhausted and she was in no mood for his sarcasm today of all days. She walked in and left the door ajar; she knew he'd follow whatever so she helped with the door.

'Gonna show me the ring?'

'Can't.'

'Why not?'

'No ring to show.' She told as she sat down and his eyes saw the bright white of a bandage, he then saw her posture, her body language looked tired, defeated, broken and he closed the door.

'What's happened to your hand?'

'Nothing.'

'Yeah so white bandages are the new fashion accessory are they? Spilling out from Halloween?' He crouched in front of her and he could tell she'd been crying and that she'd hardly sleep. 'Now, princess, tell me what's a matter?'

'Kevin didn't want to marry me after all.' She said and the tears began to dot her lashes. 'He upped and left, we argued before that, I threw a few things, each one smashing if it couldn't bounce.' Derek's face darkened as she just stared off. 'I told him to leave and got tidying up only for a shard of glass to slice through my hand.' She held her left hand up. 'Nearly 8 hours in A&E with a woman with chronic coughing, a screaming 2 year old and a family of like 7, or 8, running wild, I've hardly slept.' She shrugged like it was no problem, like it was a normal way to spend a work night. 'I'm amazed I got back up after an hour's kip.'

'Let's get you home.'

'I don't want to go home.'

'Pen...'

'Derek, at the moment I'm feeling pretty down, and embarrassed and work is the only thing that's going to keep my mind out of this mess.'

'Baby girl... there's nothing to be embarrassed off.'

She snorted. 'Course not, for months I've been bragging about Kevin popping the question and how I wanted to get married and now, now I'm back at square one.' It was then a tear dropped. There was no way she was going to tell him Kevin was gay, that was the bare bottom of embarrassment. 'I'm never gonna get married so...' She ended it with another nonchalant shrug.

'You need to get laid.' Was all Derek said, it wasn't his first thought, he hadn't been his actually thought but the barrier between thinking and speaking had gone and he had nowhere to run now. So Derek forgot about the whole look before you look theorem and just went right in there. 'By me.'

'Derek...' Penelope said, her puffy eyes just staring at him, she couldn't muster more than his name right now. 'Derek...'

'I've held off for too fucking long Pen, 2 years is too long, I want you, if Lynch doesn't then I'm staking my claim in you. I want you as mine.'

'All this from Kevin Lynch breaking my heart?'

'How about, I'll be your make up sex?' That evoked a laugh out of Penelope, something she had seriously thought wouldn't happen. 'Screw Lynch, wait no wrong wording, Lynch be damned, screw me.'

Penelope laughed again, Derek was after something. 'Being my hero or something?'

'Being your best friend and then after it all, I want a discussion with you about our future... I think we've fallen behind. No more running, I get hard just hearing you on the phone. Do you know how hard it is to hide an errection in jeans?'

'Well... with the tightness you go for you kind of bring it on yourself.'

'So you noticed eh?' He winked and she laughed at him again. 'What time's the pity party starting later and what do I bring?'

'Starts whenever the PJ's are on and the ice cream's out.'

'You go home, I'll bring the ice cream and I'll party with you pitifully.'

'I don't think that's the point of a pity party.'

'Well what before has been anywhere near the norm with us goddess?' He asked her and smirked that award winning Derek Morgan smile. 'I wanna talk to you P; I want you to know some things and I wanna know some things.'

'You wanna know do a lot.' She told him pointedly. 'After I've had some ice cream and loads of other crap though yeah?' He nodded and kissed her forehead before going to the door. 'You're going to tell Hotch aren't you?'

'If you've got a slash in your hand, he's not gonna be happy, I'm not even happy.'

'Fine, but I'll sweet talk the boss man.'

'Like you always do, we're all well and truly wrapped around your little finger.' Derek told her and left her in peace, she just laughed before settling down. Looking at the time she grabbed her purse and a drink, taking the pot of pills out of her bag she got 2 tablets out and downed them with a large gulp of water.

Since Penelope could remember she had been popping those pills daily, twice daily, three times daily, she didn't know anymore, it was part of her routine. An easily hidden part of her daily routine. No one knew about her heart condition, if anything she felt it changed how people viewed her, it'd already hindered her. Suffering from Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, or HCM as her parents had named it, she'd found a lot of things she couldn't do. In high school she'd been a runner, a good one at it, but when she was struck with palpitation and a shortness of breath at simple exercises her parents had taken her to their family doctor. After tests she was put on those pills to help and they had but she was scared to get her fitness to the same level it had been. On one occasion her lack of breath had been so severe she had actually passed out, on another her heart had skipped a couple of beats, and on her scariest occasion her heart had actually stopped beating altogether before being hit back into rhythm but a paramedics fist.

So she took pills and avoided immense exercise, Kevin knew about the pills but not what they were for, and even sometimes during sex if she got breathless, he'd just claimed she was unfit and she'd just wished he knew the truth but she'd just continually agreed with him.

Now she wondered if she were to actually get laid by Derek Morgan, would he want it thick and fast or slow and steady? She knew it wasn't going to be the latter, not with a man that had so much... experience.

The knock at her door made her throw the pills in her bag and turn, she plastered a smile on her face and stood only to lose her footing and stumble. Derek lunged in and caught her and held her up right.

'That says it all.' Hotch said as he crossed his arms over his chest. 'Get her home Morgan.'

'Hotch I want to work.'

'Not when you can hardly stand and your hand, how's that hurting?'

She sighed. 'I'm going.'

'Come on then Baby Girl.'

'Derek stay with her make sure she sleeps.'

'Was the plan.'

'Report back in.' Hotch said and then looked at Penelope. 'If there's ever anything you need to talk about Garcia, just come to me, I'll try and help you out.'

'Thank you Sir.' Hotch shot her a look. 'Thanks Hotch.'

'Better. Lynch never deserved you.' Were his last words as he vacated her office and left Derek to sort Penelope out. Penelope looked at Derek as he picked her bags up and handed her, her purse.

'Sleep and I'll get ice cream in.'

'You're actually the best you know that?' She told him and he smiled at her and shook his head before pulling her out of the office and locking it behind them. Although Derek was a distraction, there was, in the pit of her stomach, the ache that Kevin had left. The feeling that she had tainted him, made him turn like he had and she just sighed, she didn't know how easy she could love again but step on would be telling Derek exactly how she felt and how long she'd felt it.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far!

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