Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Derek paced the corridor only hours later, he wasn't leaving Penelope alone in the hospital with this all building up, it was a Monday, and he was supposed to be in work by now but he knew that once Hotch got over an outburst he'd settle before listening to the whole excuse.

'Hotchner.' Derek knew from the tone of voice something had happened at work.

'Hotch; I'm sorry I'm not in.'

'And Penelope? Going to apologise for her too or is she going to actually grace me with her own excuse?'

'Hotch... listen man...'

'Strauss is all over us like a rash today and the fact that you and Penelope aren't in has done nothing but made matters a hell of a lot worse for us.'

'Hotch, just shut up and listen!' Derek blew, he wasn't in the mood to hear about Strauss, or problems at work, Penelope was his worry, he's only worry. Until she started to get better then would he worry about work.

'What is Morgan?'

'I'm at the hospital.'

'Hospital?' Hotch repeated. 'Why would you be there?'

'Because Penelope died last night, she had a cardiac arrest at mine about 2:30 this morning and now she's in the hospital really ill.'

'She died?'

'I started CPR and paramedics arrived and revived her. Listen Hotch, she won't be in work for a while. She's got a heart condition that she must have deleted or not put on her records and well, let's just say it's got a hell of a lot worse.'

'Why would she lie?'

'Because she's experienced how people react to her having it.'

'Fair enough.' Derek picked up his boss' guilty tone. 'Is she going to be okay?'

'I don't know, the doctor wants her to have some kind of surgery later to see what caused her to collapse and go into cardiac arrest and then go from there.' Derek told him and the worry now consumed him more so. 'Hotch I can't leave her.'

'I don't expect you to, I'm gonna get Dave and speak to Strauss. Then I'm gonna come by, I want a whole medical run down.'

'Okay.'

'Derek, don't tell Penelope, let's not let her worry. Work stays in work, we'll stop by later to check in. Just... I'm sorry; I shouldn't have jumped down your throat like that Morgan.'

'It's okay man, I understand, and Pen, you know, she's strong, we can get through this.' Derek looked up to see the doctor coming back down the corridor. 'I'm gonna shoot, doc's just coming back.'

'Keep me updated.'

Derek shut the phone off and ran towards Penelope's room and straight in after the doctor, he went directly to Penelope's side as the doctor spoke. 'We've got you scheduled in for 1 this afternoon, is there anyone in particular you want with you?'

'Derek.' Penelope responded and Derek felt how sweaty her palms were.

'Are you family?'

'Fiancé.' Was all Derek said and the doctor looked at him almost sideways, like he was missing something, Derek pulled out a ring from his back pocket.

'Okay, well that's fine.' He said as he put the chart down. 'We'll give you a mild sedative to make you relaxed, and then we'll get you into the operating room and laid down. The procedure should only take about an hour and we'll make you as comfortable as possible.' He saw Penelope nod and gulp deeply. 'We'll make a small incision in your groin and feed a catheter into your femoral artery, this will be fed into your heart and we'll inject a dye to see what obstructions, if any, there are.' He saw Penelope trying to relax. 'It all sounds daunting but really you won't feel anything but a slight pressure. Once you're back in recovery, you'll be needing to stay laying down to reduce risks of minor bleeds and we can give you something to help you sleep but this will help us find out what caused you to suffer a cardiac arrest.'

'If I'd kept my tablets going would this have happened?'

'There's no way of telling until we've done this. Maybe it might have prolonged the amount of time until it occurred or it might have done nothing. Have you suffered any emotional trauma or immense stress lately?'

'We argued before it happened and I've been having some trouble with someone.'

'How has it been making you feel?'

'Exhausted, I've had trouble catching my breath, been lightheaded.'

'All common symptoms of HCM, but if you're tablets haven't been dealing with it, then it could show a problem. Right, I'll get a nurse to come and keep an eye on you STATs and I'll see you about 12:30.' He then left the pair of them alone.

'Have you spoken to Hotch?'

'I have.'

'How angry is he? I mean you should be in work, heck so should I.'

'He understands, so much so he's taking Rossi to Strauss and coming here after work.'

'No, he doesn't need to, not with Jack.'

'You need to keep it calm Baby Girl.' Derek told her and realised he still had the ring in his hand. 'I've kept this on me ever since Lynch dropped you.' He told her, in a mere bid to change her mind and make her think of something different. 'I didn't want to rush you but I didn't want to lose you either. I've only just gotten you, I can't lose you now.'

'Derek... the whole thing with Kevin...'

'A horrible nightmare and trust me, he isn't getting away lightly. I'm having my say in it all because as far as I'm concerned he played a hand in having you end up here.' Derek ran a hand over Penelope's face. 'I love you so much, I hope you know that.'

'I do.' Penelope said tearfully, she did know how much he loved her because she felt exactly the same. She'd rather push him away and continue to love him, than stay close to ruin it all. That was why she backed down so easily in the car park; she wanted him as distant from her so that they could find one another once the dust had settled. 'I don't want you to be with me because of what happened.'

'Like I told you, you died in my arms P; I'm never going to forget how that felt, the grief that literally swallowed my heart as your heart stopped beating. I hated myself in that moment, that I let you go and our last words left you feeling like I didn't love you. Even though you were sobbing at me in that car park I just couldn't go back to you.'

'You felt betrayed?'

'Yeah I guess I did, like you did with Kevin?' Penelope nodded sadly and Derek wiped a tear from her eye. 'What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. A beautiful blonde always tells me that, said beautiful blonde should never have been doubted really.'