Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

It wasn't until 2 hours in that Derek finally found himself realising what was happening, what Penelope was doing right at that moment, it wasn't until that time he realised that he hadn't told his mom. He sat forward and ran his hand over his head, his mom loved Penelope and to find out she was now on an operating table undergoing open heart surgery was not going to do wonders for a woman in another state.

He remembered the moments before Penelope went under, she was beyond petrified and she was beyond trying to keep herself calm, all she wanted to do was go home. He'd been allowed only as far as the room that lead into the operating room and even then Penelope hadn't let up on letting go of him but it was her hand lost its grip and went limp that he knew it was now a waiting game, a wait and see time of his life that would have the most effect if something went wrong.

He thought to the Sunday, only a day before and how quick and hectic things had got, one moment he was enjoying a date with his Baby Girl, treating her how she deserved and then the next Kevin was kissing her and then the argument happened and the next thing he knew he'd broken it off with her and said one too many things out of line before slamming a door in her face and hearing her heart broken words, All I've ever done is love you, and he remembered how sad she sounded and how those words hit his heart centre on, in that instant he knew that Penelope had always loved him and ever since every moment that they'd shared, had it been over the phone or in personal played on in his head.

The others were consumed with all their own concerns, they were yet to hear about everything that happened but Derek stood up and they all looked at him. 'I'll be right back.' He said tiredly, his voice kept low. 'I'm gonna ring my mom.' Everyone nodded and watched him leave, they'd only known no longer than 6 hours that Penelope had a heart condition and now was having surgery and everything just seemed a little too unreal for them.

'I don't get why she wouldn't tell us.' JJ said confused, she'd already rung home to tell Will what was happening, he'd been okay and promised to bring Henry by to see Penelope when she was doing better.

'Derek said Penelope's dealt with this problem since she was 16 so she's just learnt to make it a part of her daily life. Plus she was underground for a while; she never had to tell anyone after her family so she kept it to herself. Everyone's entitled a secret or two.'

'But from Derek as well?'

'If Garcia thought Morgan would pity her then she would readily keep it a secret, no problems from it meant she didn't have to mention it.' Reid added thoughtfully.

'I'm pretty sure Penelope's going to feel guilty when she comes out.' Rossi commented as he crossed his arms over his chest. 'I mean, telling us is one thing but she's gonna hate herself for making us stay here.'

'But what she needs to understand is that we want to be here.' Emily told them and they all nodded in agreement. 'She just needs to learn that one.'

Derek paced outside, the evening creeping in. He didn't hate Penelope for keeping it a secret, what he hated was the argument, that was always going to come back on him. The moment she died was going to replay and the heaviness of Penelope's near dead body in his arms was always going to be felt. He shook his head as the dial tone rang out.

'Hello?' He heard his mom ask.

'Hey ma.' Derek said down the phone trying to keep his tone even and normal.'

'Derek, baby, how are you? And Penelope?' Fran asked happily.

'Mom, I really need you right now.'

'Derek, what's a matter? What's happened?' Her tone changed quickly as she heard her son's.

'Pen, she's in hospital.' He began and rallied off what was wrong with her. 'I really need you now.'

'I'm going to tell your sisters and get a flight booked. She'll be fine baby, don't you worry.' Fran tried to reason with her son, knowing that right now he was panicking. She looked up as Desiree came into the room and her daughter didn't even miss the tears in her mom's eyes. 'Right I'm going to get a flight as soon as but you don't worry. You know Penelope's going to get through this.'

'You're right.'

'Always listen to mother, she knows best.' Fran told him and smiled slightly, if there was ever something Fran could do in crisis it was be a pillow of hope and today was not going to be any different. 'Go back Derek and wait for her.'

'Thanks mom. I love you.'

'Love you too Derek. I'll see you soon.' She closed her phone and then turned to Des, who knew something dire was up. She then repeated everything Derek had told her, afterwards watching her daughter grab her laptop and start making haste with finding flights while spouting orders at her mom.

Derek went back to the guys and sunk back into a seat in the corner. He was usually the guy that ran into a room and protected all those he could, but for once in his life, he was utterly helpless and he hated the fact that he could do nothing to protect Penelope but he knew her, and how she'd be. So he sat up, took on a new demeanour and did was Penelope did, he found hope even in the hardest of times.

He looked at what lay ahead, beyond making it up to Penelope, and beyond Penelope's recovery, he sat and imagined making love to her again, cuddling her again, making her laugh, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries and finally settling down and marrying the one woman he loved and then of course came the children. Their children, he didn't care how many he had, he just wanted ones that had mingled skins of both him and her, little girls with Penelope's soft hair and little boys with their mom's smile.

He was going to get that future if it killed him and he was going to tell Penelope every single detail and plan, she was going to know what he thought when he thought of her and she was going to know just how long he'd been thinking these thoughts.

'Derek.' He felt a foot tap his and when he opened his eyes he noticed it was dark out and Hotch was standing over him. 'Doctor's just coming.'

Derek jumped up, fully alert. 'What's happened?'

'Penelope's in the ICU.'

'Is she okay?'

'She made it through so it's gotta show something, he's going to come down and give a full run down but he seemed positive.' Derek smiled uncertainly, he wanted Penelope now, to see her to make him realise that the end was nigh. 'You slept for ages, you feel better?' Hotch said crosses his arms over his chest and turning to watch the corridor vigilantly.

'How long was I out?'

'Just over 9 hours, the other's all fell asleep too.' Hotch told him and he looked at them. 'Best leave them be for the moment. Your mom and sisters got a flight for an hour's time.' Hotch told, he'd made sure he'd kept in check so that he could tell Derek after he'd finally gotten some sleep. 'We should get the others home.'

'Not until we can tell them about Penelope.' Derek said knowing that he would want to know just as much as them. It was then the taste of bile boiled in his throat as he watched the doctor approach.

'Penelope Garcia?' He asked, and then noticed Derek who seemed to try and blend into the walls; he stepped towards the two men as they stepped closer. 'She pulled through pretty strongly. We repaired the damage to the ventricles and her blood pressure began to settle, it's still high due to post op effects but it's looking promising from here.' He watched Derek smile some. 'Visiting is going to be extremely limited I'm afraid, she just needs rest.'

'Can I not at least just sit with her?'

'It goes against hospital policy I'm afraid and until she's moved it'll be 15 minutes at the most every hour.' He saw the two men nod with understanding. 'I can take you into her, she's not awake and because of the bypass she was on she's on a ventilator to help her lungs and heart get some more strength in them.'

'She's not awake?' Derek asked in whisper, he hadn't thought of that.

' She isn't no, but when she is she'll be pretty drowsy and the different medication she's on will make her sleep a lot which is what she needs to do really but she's stable which is the main thing. The ventilator is just to allow Penelope's heart and lungs to catch up, she'll come off it when she's awake and she thinks she can breathe on her own comfortably.' He said trying to sound positive. 'I can take you down now if you want.'

'Derek go, I'll get this lot up and tell them and I'll take you home.' Hotch pushed Derek and he nodded before following the doctor, his nerves getting to him now, he didn't want to see Penelope so fragile but he needed to see her for his sanity.

However, upon entering the room it was a totally different story, the view in front of him enamoured his devotion to her, reapplied thickly his love for her and increased his yearn to tell her all. 'I'll come back in 15 minutes.' The doctor told him and left Derek to it. Derek just stood there and took Penelope's hand in his, her eyes closed, her usually red lips circling a tube, tubes stemming from too many area's on her body, an IV in her neck, wires leading to monitors, a long white plaster shown under the loose fitting gown on her chest.

'I got so much to tell you Baby Girl but so little time right now.' He started, sucked in a breath, leant in, kissed her forehead and began his storytelling of how their life was going to look.

As he closed his eyes to tell her, he didn't see his vulnerable best friend or his broken Baby Girl, he saw Penelope in her prime, laughing at him, her eyes all smiles, her whole demeanour yelling healthy and independent.

So he kept that Penelope in mind and looked down at his challenge, at the woman that was stemming his determination and continued to speak to her until the very last second he had, he'd repeat it every time until she was awake and then he'd tell her again when she was fully awake.