"In Which She Is Edward's Ex-Girlfriend" – Jasper's post-birthday party thoughts.

If you choose to read this, I recommend doing so after Chapter 9 of FitV.

Legna... well, she did her usual thing. If anything's awesome, it's because of her. If it's not, it's because of me.

Disclaimer: None of it is mine.

Time frame: June 20, 2009 – the day after Chapter Six: "In Which Jasper Paid Attention."

In Which She Is Edward's Ex-Girlfriend

I'm riding my bike home from the clusterfuck of a birthday party.

There is one particular thing that Alice said that I can't get out of my head. It's on repeat. Stuck. Playing over and over.

She's Edward's ex-girlfriend.

I admitted to myself a few weeks ago that my feelings for Bella were starting to be more than platonic. I've seen no sign from her that she feels that way about me, though. Yet. But I can't deny how I feel.

A couple of times, I thought that maybe there was something extra in the way she looked at me, but she turned away before I could tell for sure.

Last night, after the game, I had wanted to go inside with her when she asked. The feel of her arms around me, her perfect body pressed against my back as we'd been coming back from Tacoma.... I think that if we'd hung out for a bit, that maybe something might have happened. But it would have been too hard to leave her, and I had to be up too early for this fucking party. I couldn't have missed it regardless of the state of my non-relationship with Alice; the families are just too close. Although, with the way the party went down, I might as well have just shown up wearing Bella's Forks PD sweatshirt.

But... she's Edward's ex-girlfriend. There's an unwritten rule that makes your buddy's ex-girls off limits. It's hard to ignore that.

Even worse, there's probably an unwritten chick rule that you can't date your ex-boyfriend's friends. Will that curb any interest Bella could have had? I have to face that might be true.

Does she only see me as Edward's friend? Or Alice's ex-boyfriend? We're fucked six ways to Sunday, and not in a good way. Even if she were interested in being more than friends, would she ever act on it? Would I ever know?

She's Edward's ex-girlfriend.

She's never openly compared me to Edward, but does it run through her mind when she looks at me? My years-long friendship with him? My relationship with Alice? Does she think about how much of a bitch my sister has always been to her? Am I forever tainted by association?

I'm surprised that I'm not even that worried about my less than stellar past, now. Her acceptance was apparent when she reached for my arm without cringing. Maybe that was when I started to feel something more for her.

My own history I can fight past.

But maybe I still don't stand a chance at all.

The first look into our boy's head....

Up next, the Jasper/Alice breakup.