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A/N: Super sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Parental units decided to limit my computer time, 'cause they thought that I was spending more time on the computer than with them. That's my excuse. On to the next chapter!

Chapter 6 : Killing and Maiming

Lily woke up the next morning to her mother shaking her gently. She opened her eyes and found herself in her own room, in her own bed. For some reason, she felt slightly disappointed at her surroundings.

"Lily, come on. You gotta' wake up. Someone will be along to collect you in half an hour." Lily bolted up, and hurried over to her dresser to find clothes.

"How come you didn't wake me up earlier!" It wasn't a question. Her mum just shook her head.

"I tried, but you just swatted me away and called me some bad things in French. I didn't even know you knew French. We are going to have to talk about what you said to me later, young lady."

"Damn, Black. Making up a stupid song for every curse in French. Why did Remus have to teach him French?" She kissed her mum on the cheek and hurried into the bathroom. James rang the Evans doorbell, and stood there waiting. He had come to get Lily. He heard footsteps to the door and Lily shouting bye to her mum, when the door was opened. Lily had apparently been running to the door in a dead sprint. She tripped on the welcome matt and fell into James' arms.

"Oi! Trying to break you neck?" He asked laughing as he righted her. Lily blushed.

"Sorry. Where's Black?" James pouted slightly.

"Back at the house. Why?"

"I have to kill him." Lily growled. James looked much happier for some reason.

"What did he do?"

"He made up that stupid song with all the French curses in it and so I learned them all. Then when my mum tried to wake me up I used them all on her. So now I have to kill him."

"Aren't you going to kill Remus too? I mean he taught Sirius those words in the first place."

"All Remus did was buy him a stupid French to English dictionary. That was his mistake. It's not enough to get him killed. Maimed maybe, but not killed." James laughed. "Shouldn't you be trying to talk me out of killing your friends?"

"Hey, I don't want to die. I think this is just one of those times where I'm not supposed to get involved." They stood outside on James's stoop.

"Aren't you going to open the door?" He grabbed her arm.

"The way I figure it Sirius and Remus deserve a head start." Lily laughed a little. He opened the door and cried out for the other two Marauders to run. He counted to ten and then let go of Lily's arm. She bolted off upstairs where the cries of fright could be heard. She opened the door to Sirius' room and immediately had to shield her eyes. Sirius had a towel around his waist, but it was a short towel.

"Urgh! Sirius, hurry up and get dressed. I need to talk to you downstairs. Jamsie and I have a little announcement to make. Tell Remus." Lily went back downstairs to wait in the living room with James.

"They dead yet?" James asked when she came through the door. Lily laughed.

"I walked into Sirius' room when he was in a towel. A very short towel. I am as of now, officially disturbed." James laughed. "Oh and they are going to come in here for the slaughter, so be ready." Lily grinned cheekily at him and James looked alarmed.

He stood up and started to back towards the door. However, voices could be heard in the hallway and so Lily wouldn't let James leave. She shoved him behind the couch and sat down smiling sweetly. Remus and Sirius walked warily into the room.

"Where's James?" Sirius asked worriedly. I stood up and walked over to the door. I grinned evilly.

"He's currently…indisposed." Remus and Sirius looked terrified. I closed and locked the door and the two of them backed up against the opposite wall.

"What's the matter Lily?" Remus asked gulping, absolutely frightened.

"Well you see, this morning my mum tried to get me up. I of course did not want to get up and so said some…things."

"What kind of things?" Remus asked, clearly trying to remain calm.

"Curses words. French curse words." Remus' eyes widened in shock. Then recognition resounded on his face. He went forward to apologize.

"Oh my gosh. Lily, I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me?" Lily hugged Remus. She whispered quietly in his ear.

"Hide. Behind. Couch. With. James. Killing. Sirius." He nodded slightly. Lily spoke again, this time in a normal volume. "Of course I forgive you Remus!" Then she released him and turned to Sirius. Sirius went over, his arms outstretched, while Remus went and hid behind the safety of the couch.

"Oh Lily. I'm so, so sorry. Forgive me?" Lily wrapped him tightly in a hug.

"NO!" She screamed in his ear, and then jumped on him.

He went down immediately, obviously not expecting it. She was on his back and boffing him in the back of the head. He was going around the room on all fours, and it looked like he was giving Lily a very violent horse ride. She bit and punched until Sirius collapsed. Lily sat on top of him examining her nails calmly.

"Surrender?" She asked serenly. Sirius said something muffled. "What? Sorry didn't quite catch that." Her voice was sickly sweet. Sirius picked up his head.

"I said, I surrender, okay? I SURRENDER!" Lily stood up.

"Well there's no need to shout." Sirius stood up and glared reproachfully at Lily. James and Remus came out from behind their shelter. James came over and shook Lily's hand excitedly.

"That has to be a record! Sirius beaten in less than three minutes! And by a girl no less!" Lily rounded on James. Remus and Sirius backed away.

"And what, pray tell, is the difference between him getting beat by a girl other than a boy?" Lily hissed.

"I…I…didn't think…I…" Lily smiled angrily. "That's right. You didn't think. But now, I'm afraid you'll have to pay." James stood there confusedly for a minute and then Lily jumped on him. She took his ear between her teeth and bit down hard.

"Oi! That's attached! Bloody hell! Get her off me!" He pleaded with Remus and Sirius, while trying to shake Lily off.

"Sorry mate. No can do. I don't want to get my ass kicked, and Sirius has already had his ass-kicking for the day." James let out a frustrated stream of breath. Lily let go and jumped off of James. He put a hand to his ear and glared reproachfully at Lily.

"Alright you lot, time to get going." Mrs. Potter bustled into the room. "James dear, what happened to your ear?"

"Well you see…uh…well…" James stuttered. Lily stepped in front of him.

"It's my fault, Mrs. Potter. James said something along the lines of girls can't fight as good as guys and I just had to prove him wrong. Now he knows that girls are better fighters." Lily flashed Mrs. Potter her best, I'm-sorry-and-I'll-only-do-it-again-if-it's-absolutely-necessary, smile. Mrs. Potter smiled back. Then she rounded on James.

"See James? I told you to think about what you say before you say it. It's your own fault. Maybe it's good that you're friends with this young lady. She can probably knock some sense into your head. Oh and Lily?"

"Yes, Mrs. Potter?"

"Feel free to do it again if he misbehaves. That goes for all of them. Might keep them in line at school." Lily adopted a solemn look.

"Oh yes, Mrs. Potter. I'll definitely keep a close eye on them. Keep them in line." Lily and Mrs. Potter exchanged mischievous smiles and the boys looked horrified at what Mrs. Potter had just given Lily permission to do.

"Now then, onto Diagon Alley!" Mrs. Potter said cheerfully.

A/N: Here's the next chapter all. I just checked and I want to let you know: 199 people read the last chapter. 10 people reviewed. What's up with that? I have an excuse for not posting. What's yours for not reviewing. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Please. Bee 