Proof even I can't stand this grammar. I had to edit this...I should have know this would happen. Really, writing when half asleep is never a good idea.

Hell Is When Miki and Dray Take You Shopping

Harry felt a sense of dread in his chest. Sure enough, he heard Draco's yell of "Get out of the way, you mangy mutt!" fill the house, along with his grandmother's cheering.

Sirius's reply was just as quick with, "This stupid house is techinically mine, and I can throw you out any time I wish kid. Now shut it or you are out."

Then Harry heard another voice over the two. "We all like Harry, so can we all work together to get him some decent clothes?" A girl asked sweetly. No-it couldn't be possible-she was here! No...this shopping trip was going to be hell!

"Well...the girl has a point." Sirius, don't agree with her! The girl is evil! Evil I say!

Harry rushed down the stairs, trying desperately to avoid his fate with three fashion-crazied purebloods after him. "You know-I'm old enough to get my own clothes. I really don't need to trouble you guys. You have plenty of things to do."

"I'm free till I have to see my family at the end of the week." Miki smiled.

"Mum wants me to know her side of the family-even if it includes your father." Draco got a dark glare from Sirius at this comment.

"I'm still on recovery from my stay at prison and I am willing to put up with my cousin for an extended period of time to get you clothes. You have to have some decent clothes for the Quidditch Cup. How else will you pick up dates?" Sirius asked.

"My first date didn't work out so well...maybe I shouldn't trick the girl next time." James pondered. "Oh well."

"You have to tell me all about it later! Crim on his first date! How sweet!" Miki squealed.

"Hufflepuff?" Sirius asked.

"Slytherin...don't know how she got in." Draco answered. Wow...a civil converstation without any rise of voice...miracle!

"Um Miki...if it weren't for you sending me to my doom, I would say you're a miracle worker." James confessed. "Those two have been fighting since they met."

"Anything injured?" Miki asked.

"A cat, but I fixed it. So...for all the poor cats in the world, can we not go?" James pleaded. "Think of all the poor kittens."

"Not a chance." Miki glared. There was the reason why the girl was in Slytherin again. "Don't think you are getting out of this one Crim. I need to teach you some rules of dress. First rule: wearing tents is not allowed."

"It wasn't like I had a choice..." James groaned.

In Wizard Shops:

"Crim, try this on!" Miki squealed. She was having way too much fun with this.

"We have to measure him first Michelle!" Draco yelled as he pulled James toward a taylor. "My cousin needs clothes benefiting of his status."

"Do you have to sound so contensending?" Sirius groaned.

"Do you always have to sound like a unrefined muggle?" Draco retorted.

"Shut it!" James had it. "I am sick and tired of all your arguing. This shopping trip is hard enough without all your stupid bickering!" Out of the corner of his eye, he could see someone snickering. Wait...that was Professor Snape! "Hello Professor!" James waved. Sirius wisely chose to disappear at this point. If there was one thing more headache inducing than Sirius and Draco together, it was Sirius and Professor Snape together. Plus the risk of property damage wasn't worth it. "Save me from your godson! Please!" James pleaded. "And my father!"

"So Black managed to get together with two Slytherins to work on your wardrobe, Mr. Black? I'm afraid I can't help you. I have the school infirmery potions to make, and class plans for next year. Besides, who knows when an event of this magnitude will ever happen again?" Professor Snape did have a point...but he wasn't helping the situation. "See you next year Mr. Black, Miss Avery, and Mr. Malfoy."

Sirius came out of wherever he was hiding, looking like he was barely holding back a punch. His face lightened instantly as soon as he saw that Professor Snape was gone. "Shopping for robes is no fun. Besides, you need normal clothes, and like I said: clothes you can get girls with." Everyone in the shop got a strange, dark feeling of foreboding from Sirius. Why did James have the feeling that this was going to end up like 'The Talk?'

Muggle Shops:

After several robes in emerald green ("it matches your eyes" was what Michelle said), several in blue ("to show house spirit" said Sirius), and several in the Black family colors ("family history is important" Draco told him), the group finally finished with several black everyday robes and some really formal underclothes that James personally thought he'll never wear (sorry, but contrary to Draco's belief, collared shirts were not everyday wear, and neither were ironed slacks).

Now it was off to Sirius's idea of shopping. Draco was nervous...he must have heard stories from his mother about Sirius. Miki was skipping carefree, clearly not knowing the danger ahead. Sirius was confidently walking and he was really happy...a scary sign if James did ever see one. "Here we are." Sirius cheered.

James's mouth dropped. It was a leather store...a leather store. "Sirius...do you think my mother would approve of this?"

"Probably not...but you have to admit, it looks cool." Sirius grinned. "We'll hit some other stores to get standard t-shirts, but I figured we'll start from the top first."

James was expecting a protest from Michelle, not a "This place is freaken awesome! When do you find this place? Do they have clothes for girls?"

A saleslady came up and greeted Michelle. "Miss, we can measure you over here. I still remember Sirius. He hasn't been here for a long time, but he is still memorable." The saleslady blushed...just how many women did Sirus do before he decided to get in a real relationship? Jeez.

"Can I also get something for a friend of mine?" Michelle asked sweetly. Then she whispered in his ear, "What is George's size? I think some of those leather pants won't look so bad on him."

"No!" James shouted. "Just no!" Then the picture was in his mind. "Never mind...that wouldn't be too bad actually...we have to get two pairs of them of course."

"Yes...two are better than one." Michelle was practically drooling.

"I don't even want to know what you two are thinking about." Draco commented.

"That's my boy!" Sirius looked proud.

"Don't be proud of that!" Draco yelled.

Then Remus came in. "I thought you'll be here...but why is James also here? Are you buying him clothes so you can teach him how to drive that flying motorcycle of yours?"

"No..." Sirius couldn't lie worth a damn. That...would be so cool! "Fine...but he needs to know how to drive someday."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!" Michelle was angry. "JAMES COULD DIE! HE COULD GET HURT! MOTORCYCLES ARE DEATH TRAPS, AND YOU MADE YOURS FLY? THAT THING IS PROBABLY A FLYING TICKET TO A BURNING INFERNO! I WILL NOT LET MY PRECIOUS JAMES BE INJURED BY YOUR GRYFFINDOR LACK OF CONTROL!"

"You know...I think she could get along with Mrs. Weasley." James commented.

"Go Miki!" Draco cheered. Sirus was stunned senseless.