"I've been thinking…" started Sister as the two of us made our way down the streets of East City. She let her sentence trail off. I waited for her to say more. "I've been thinking," she said again, "Thinking a lot about your thing with equivalent exchange."

"It's not my thing," I told her. "It's a law, a natural law." I'd eventually come to the conclusion that even though equivalent exchange ran the world many people didn't even realize it.

"Okay," she said but I could tell from her voice she didn't really believe me. "It comes from alchemy though right? I not saying you're an alchemist," she quickly added. "But equivalent exchange it's a law of alchemy, right?"

"Mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange." I recited. "Your starting materials must be of equal mass and materials as you finished product."

Sister gave me a funny look. "But you believe equivalent exchange applies to more than just alchemy, you believe it controls our lives too. That if we want something we must give something else up and if we lose something we will always get something in return."

"That's the way it works."

"Is it possible then," she asked turning to face me. "Could someone make exchange without realizing it? Trade one thing for another without even wanting to? Give something up and gain something new but something you didn't even really want, maybe, maybe you liked better what you started with?" Her words starting coming out in a tumble and it took me a moment to understand them.

"It happens," I said softly, thinking of a time when it happened to me.

Sister nodded. "What about, what about if you lose something, I mean something is taken from you without your permission. You gain something for it but it's a trade you never wanted or asked for. Does that happen?"

I wanted to tell her it would never happen like that. But I didn't want to lie. "All of the time."

"But…but…THAT'S NOT FAIR." Her voice got loud toward the end and she sounded pretty angry.

She was right. It wasn't fair. I'd learned to accept that equivalent exchange was a law, a law we could do nothing about so I never questioned it. But she was right it wasn't fair. And then, then I wanted to laugh because suddenly it was funny. Equivalent exchange- trading one thing for something of equal value- it sounded fair, it sounded like it should be the fairest thing in the world, but it wasn't. Why must we always lose in order to gain? It wasn't fair.

"No," Sister said suddenly startling me out of my thoughts, "No," she said more quietly, to herself maybe, "that can't be the way it works." She was quiet for a bit. "Say Brother?" she asked after we'd been walking it silence for a bit. "What would happen if you took something and didn't pay for it? "

I rubbed my automail arm and shivered at the memory, "Something will be taken from you in payment."

She was giving me a really funny look, "What exactly happened…" There was more to her question I think but I didn't hear it. I was distracted because I heard it, the worst sound in the world. It wasn't a baby crying this time; the kid was a little older, old enough to stand at least, but the sound was the same.

And of course I saw it. The noise was coming from all around. I could see the gate, all of the creatures inside, creatures that used to be just like me. I could feel their desire, their want, they wanted something, anything, they were incomplete. And I was being drawn back into the darkness. Soon the gate would close and I would be stuck. And the woman she was reaching for me…

I could see all this in my head and I didn't want to. At the same time I knew I was still standing on the street and I had to make it stop. If I could shut the kid up then I wouldn't remember anymore. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I screamed at the kid. But the kid just cried louder. So I grabbed a shovel from a nearby stall and swung it at the kid. Someone grabbed the kid's arm and pulled it out of the way before I hit it. It was still crying. "SHUT UP," I swung again.

"WRATH!" Sister screamed louder than I'd ever heard her scream before. I stopped mid-swing frozen by her scream. All around me people were starring. Sister was giving me this not so nice look. The stupid kid had finally stopped crying and was looking at me with huge eyes. For a moment nobody moved. Then someone tried to grab me. I was too fast for them. I dropped the shovel and took off down the street as fast as I could.

I could hear footsteps following me. I ran as hard and as fast as I could. I didn't want to look behind me I just kept ruining hoping the footsteps would stop. I'd been running for a few minuets when a tired voice called, "Wait…it's just me."

I stopped and turned around. Sister was behind me bent over and painting. A few people were walking by and giving us funny looks but I don't think that they were any of the people from before. "We…shou…should…go," sister was panting so hard she could barely talk. "Someone…might…come looking…for you…and you…kind of…standout."

She was right. I'd taken to wearing a long sleeve shirt and long pants to hide my automail and red homunculi marks better, but since I didn't wear gloves or shoes I didn't completely hide the automail, nor did I hide my violet eyes. I just nodded and we started walking away.

We walked in silence for a long time. I think, I think she was mad at me. It occurred to me that she was looking at me like I was monster. I'd made the mistake of letting her see the monster inside me, the monster that I am. I hadn't realized it until then but I hadn't done anything so bad around her. I didn't mean not to it just happened that way.

The red stones had made the monster in me bigger and they had given it a voice. They had bought out my wrath. I had so much too. I was angry. I so was angry at that woman for making me- giving me a cursed life and for abandoning me. Edward, he too had brought out the monster in me. Around him I had so much wrath and anger because I felt like he made me incomplete. His limbs gave me a taste of what I wasn't. All I wanted was to destroy him and make myself human. Sloth mommy and Master hadn't minded my wrath and encouraged it, especially when it served Master's purposes. I killed Lust because she tried to kill me and she disobeyed orders so I knew master would be angry with me if I didn't.

But killing Lust shook me, made me question if being human was worth it. After Sloth mommy died I just couldn't face that woman. I'm still angry at her though. All I wanted was to bring Sloth mommy back. It didn't work that way; I lost my I mean Ed's, limbs. I watched Ed die and the Al die and bring Ed back. Rose took me to the Rockbelle's. I got to meet the new Alphonse. Pinako and Winry made me automail. Everyone treated me okay but I ran away the moment I heard that woman was coming.

I don't know exactly how to explain what happened to my mind but it's like I just got lost or something. I lost my purpose when I realized the exchange for becoming human might not be worth it. I lost my rage at some point too. I didn't lose my rage at her, but the rest of my rage disappeared somehow. And I was left feeling empty and incomplete. And this time I had no idea how to fix this or if it was even possible to fix. So I just kind of set off wandering. And then I met Sister. I hadn't realized it but things had gotten better. I still felt incomplete, but at least I had purpose now, I was Jessica's little brother. Except I'd just gone and ruined it all.

Finally, hours must have passed before she spoke, Sister said to me in a whisper, "Why, why did you attack that boy?"

I had known for all those silent hours that when Sister did talk again she would ask that question. I should have prepared an answer. But I hadn't. I didn't have time to make up a story then so I told the truth. "I had to shut it up." I told her quietly. It wasn't enough. She was still giving me a look, a look that made me want to crawl into a hole. I had to make her understand. "I can't hear that noise. I hate it and it makes, it makes remember when…" I trailed off. I couldn't even say it. Just thinking about trying to say it was making me remember all over again. I started shaking; No I don't want to see this.

Sister put a hand on my shoulder and calmed my shaking. "It's okay," she told me quietly. "It's okay, you're with me now, you're with your big Sister and you're safe. Whatever happened is in the past. You don't have to tell me if you want to." She hugged me just like Sloth mommy used to. "It's okay," she whispered, "you're safe now."

Yeah I know it took me forever to update. I guess the best explanation I can give is I've been spending less time writing lately. Also my inspiration for this story is drying up. I know where I want the story to go but it's resisting me. Fear not though my readers, I still plan to finish this story. It took me over a month but I have just struggled through writing what should be the hardest chapter. So from here on out when I find the time to sit down and write it should come easier. I promise that I'm still committed to finishing my little tale of Wrath and his new family.