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The gossip network at the Xavier Institute had the ability to circulate and "verify" a rumor in the amount of time it took the Weekly World News' writers to wake-up in the morning after a long night dreaming of Bat Boy's alien baby.
It had been theorized that if students at the Institute started to mind their own business and stopped gossiping about one another the walls of the school would promptly collapse. It was the most active on demand information network in the Northern Hemisphere.
There was for example the time that Rogue, according to the grapevine, challenged the Wolverine to a Duel, with pistols at Dawn or swore to nail the skin of her enemy to her door… at least that's what Amara said to Jubilee one day before their Danger Room session started… which thanks the biggest game of telephone in the Northern Hemisphere morphed into the rumor that before joining the X-men Rogue had been a head hunter and learned the secret art of shrinking heads and that in her room she kept the Shrunken Heads of those who had dared crossed her. Rogue had nothing to say on the matter… though she did correct the two new recruits who had accidentally been talking about it within earshot of her… Shrunken heads, she told them, were actually called Tsantsas, before walking away. Needless to say that had started a whole new frenzy of rumors.
Remy scoffed at these rumors and in a scene straight from summer camp, sat down with the New Recruits surrounding him and hanging on his every word… told them of the true horrors of Rogue's room. He told them of the real skeleton she kept in her closet, of the blood that she mixed into the paint on her walls, of the black magic books she kept in her room… and how late at night when the moon was full she'd drag a new recruit from their room and sacrifice them in a voodoo ritual. When asked about it later… he would of course deny everything… but most chalked it up to the belief that even the great Remy LeBeau was not immune to the call of the Rogue. This, of course, changed Rogue's status in the house from cautionary to Legendary and elevated Remy to something close to Godhood.
Maybe it was the fact that telepaths loved to chit-chat with anyone who would listen about anyone else's dirty little secrets or that Kitty, who could phase through walls, had no respect for privacy and took great joy in phasing into a room at the most uncomfortable and awkward moments.
Whatever lead the students of the Institute to gossip it was impossible to keep them from doing so. This unfortunate truth was tested and proved in the weeks following the Professor's declaration that Gossiping about other team members could get you grounded… this rule came on the heels of a rumor that Rahne, aka Wolfsbane, was not actually a mutant but a werewolf… and an unfortunate incident involving a stolen silver spoon and a dark hallway.
The Professor liked to think that the rule had been followed for at least an hour before the first rumor had started… but deep down he knew that it was not true. No sooner had the students, more accurately the New Recruits, walked out of the conference room… when the first rumor fell from Jubilation Lee's lips.
As they had been leaving the room, a curious series of events, which had started much earlier in the day with moldy bread and Jean's unfortunate habit of eating without looking, were coming to a explosive and slightly vomit-ous conclusion. The exit of the New Recruits from the conference room was timed perfectly with Jean Grey leaving the bathroom, whipping her mouth with a hand towel… and Scott asking in a loud voice if she was feeling better.
What could have been construed as stomach flu and the touching concern of a loving boyfriend… was taken in an entirely other direction… a more pregnant direction.
Before Lunch rumors had Jean pregnant with Scott's baby, before dinner she was pregnant with Magneto's baby and trying to pass it off as Scott's, before "lights out" that very night Jean was pregnant with an Alien Fetus sent to earth from Kurt's home planet with the sole intention of destroying civilization as they knew it.
Jean was less than pleased.
The next morning the Professor grounded two of the student who were talking about it and reiterated his rule about gossip. Within the hour the rumor said that Jean was pregnant with the Professors baby, hopelessly in love with Logan, and trying to dupe Scott into believing it was his.
Jean was even less pleased.
In fact the only one who seemed to be getting any enjoyment out of it was Rogue, who had started planting seeds of "truth" in the minds of poor hapless New Recruits.
After that, most agree, that the Professor gave up on his "No Gossip" rule and did what came naturally to him… locked himself in his study.
There are some who would say later that Rogue had been behind the whole thing, but most would agree that Remy LeBeau was the true mastermind behind the events that followed shortly there after. He joined forces with his dark lady love, Rogue, to convince some of the more gullible members of the X-men to help Jean prepare for the trails she would face as an unwed teenage mother.
Jean was on the verge of homicide by the end of the first week.
If the sympathetic looks and glances weren't enough, she received no less than five baby shower registry packets and one fury pink blanket from the New Recruits. Not to mention the revolving door of "Baby Daddies." Which included but was not limited to Pietro, the Blob, Toad, Juggernaut, More aliens, Twins from Magneto… and of course Scott playing the doting brainless pseudo daddy to the spawn of some other man.
It wasn't until that Friday night when Logan, also known as the Wolverine, returned home from destinations unknown (which was conveniently another source of great mussing by the Gossip Network) that the rumor started to die down. Logan came home wearing nothing but a bright pink towel and a flowered swim cap. Scrawled across his chest in permanent marker… the words "Mustache rides… $1.00" There were other things to ruminate on from that point forward.
That was the last time the Professor tried to stop the rumor mill at the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster… and he realized, not for the first time, that his name might be on the building… but definitely was not in control of the situation.
Ah… Guns don't kill people, Rumors kill people.
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