Previously...

He walked out the door, adjusting his jeans when he saw one of the nerds at their door. He grinned as he walked by.

"Hey there widdle hobbit," he said as he passed. He heard a scoffing sound and a door shut.

Ya he was going to have a really fucking good time playing Mr. Distraction.

Leonard stood in shock for a moment, staring at his door. She wouldn't be that cruel, he thought. She's in love with Sheldon, she wouldn't be back with him, he told himself. He ran a hand through his hair and turned around to go to Sheldon's room. He stood at the door, hand fisted, ready to knock. He listened for a moment. He could hear Sheldon wimpier, drawers slam, even a nice expletive that he didn't even know Sheldon knew. He decided to wait on talking to Sheldon.

Friday came quickly. Penny wasn't ready for it. She worked her tail off at the restaurant and was tired. She checked her text message on her phone again, double checking the time that Kurt was going to be there. She cringed. She dropped her phone on the table and made her way to the bathroom.

She showered, shaved her legs and armpits, exfoliated, conditioned and now just sat in the tub. She was debating to shave her private area. She just remembered that Kurt had a very strong preference for that. She wasn't a fan of doing that. She cursed herself for forgetting such a thorn. She hated it. She hated the process of shaving there, hated the itching days later, and she thought it was a little sick. Hair there was a mature thing, a coming of women-hood. Shaved was like, preadolescence in her mind. She shivered.

"So not shaving," she said as she stood up.

Kurt walked up the stairs. He was and wasn't looking forward to this. He didn't tell Penny that he was living with Dawna. Dawna was awesome. He met her one night at a strip club. She was one of two women there, not on the stage. Just to get a feel for her, he bought her a lap dance with one condition: He got to watch. He fell in love half way through the song.

She was the one who shocked the fuck right out of him when he told her about Penny and her current situation. "Push her hard. Try to fuck her on Friday. I bet she'll wig out and run to the hobbit," she told him. He grinned, his women was giving him the green light to hook up with his Ex. The twenty dollar bet wasn't half bad either.

He reached the landing and paused at the nerd's door for a moment. He heard nothing in the apartment. He continued to Penny's and knocked.

Penny's stomach dropped when she heard the door. "Crap," she said to herself. She had already had a glass of wine. She still had to work this evening and knew she would probably lose her job if she showed up piss up on wine. "Hi Kurt," she said when she opened the door. She took a long look at him, he looked good.

"Hey," he walked in and waited for her to shut the door before her pulled her into an embrace.

Twenty minutes later, they were on her bed half undressed. Penny was on her back, eyes shut tight. She couldn't help but feel bad. She wasn't cheating. Sheldon and her were not a couple. But boy oh boy did she feel like she was cheating. It felt wrong. Kurt's kisses moved from her lips and trailed down to her collarbone. Penny's eyes popped open and she looked down. She watched Kurt, already knowing what he would do.

A. Kiss down from the lips to collarbone.

B. While kissing collarbone, grind boner into her thigh, than moved kisses to the breast.

Cup breast, kiss nipple, lick, nip, suck said nipple, while trailing hand to panties.

Penny closed her eyes gently. She took a deep breathe and imagined Kurt was Sheldon. As Kurt moved his oral attention to the next breast, Penny moaned and rolled her hips into Kurt's hand.

"Ya, you like that baby?" Kurt asked. Penny nodded. "Don't talk. Okay?" Penny asked.

Kurt shrugged and muttered 'alright'. He returned his attention back to her breast. He moved his hand from outside Penny's underwear and slid then under. He groaned when he felt how warm and wet she was. Rubbing her nub, he grinned when she responded. Penny reached up and ran her hand over Kurt's shaved head. Penny imagined that instead of the smooth head, she was tangling her hands in Sheldon's dark brown hair. Kurt pulled away from Penny's breast, letting her nipple pop out of his mouth. There was a moist 'pop' sound that made Penny shiver.

Kurt slid down to her leg, pulling her panties down as he did. Penny fisted her blanket and let Kurt/Sheldon lift and move her legs apart. She felt him blow on her sensitive women-hood. She clinched the blanket tighter as Kurt licked her from back to front. Penny's breathing started to quicken as her core was licked, nipped, penetrated and hummed. She let herself to the feelings that flooded her body. Penny's mind was a rapid slide show of Sheldon. As she felt her core tighten and the flood of heat cross her body, she called his name.

"Sheldon. Oh God Sheldon." Kurt pulled his face from her and looked up her length. He knew that this might happen, but it was still a blow to his ego. "No, Shel, Sweetie don't stop," Penny said in between breaths. She was panting when she opened her eyes and looked down between her knees. He heart clenched when she was shoved back into reality.

"Kurt. K-U-R-T. Sound it out buttercup," Kurt said. He didn't want to chuckle, but he was coming damn close.

"Oh God!" Penny said as she moved to sit up.

"Aww, I guess I can settle for that, but really?" he teased.

"This is a mistake. I can't do this. Kurt I'm sorry," Penny said as she slid off her bed and picked up her underwear. Kurt sat on the foot of her bed watching her. He didn't bother to put on his shirt. He figured that would bother her more.

"So who is Sheldon?" Kurt watched her as she flushed. She turned and picked up her bra. Penny gave all of her attention to putting on her bra. She knew it was a cheap trick, but she didn't want to answer Kurt. What would she say?

"Oh he is the guy that I've probably been in love with for the better part of three year. He's also they guy that helped me when I was broke beyond broke. You see he loaned me money, no due date, not interest, no guilt. Oh and he is also the same guy that called me a used car with too many miles on it. That;s who Sheldon Freaking Cooper P-H-D is." She looked at Kurt as she buttoned her shirt.

"No one," she told him. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Liar. Pen my dear, for an actress, you're a horrible liar sometimes."

"Fine, he's one of the guys that live across the hall."

"The hobbit?"

"No."

"Peter pan?"

"No."

"The zebra?" Penny smiled. She wanted to say no, He was the Doppler Effect.

"Ya," she said.

"So Sheldon, are you excited for tonight?" Leonard asked. He and Sheldon stopped and got take out and they planned, or he planned, on having a movie marathon tonight. He watched Sheldon get to the point of depression that he considered calling his mother. When he threatened Sheldon that, Sheldon made a very visible attempt of 'getting out of his funk'.

"Why would I be excite. I've see off of the movies we are planning on watching tonight. I've eaten the meal I'm planning on eating tonight. What would I have to look forward to that would excite me?"

Leonard at that moment decided that he would in fact be calling Sheldon's mom tonight.

"I'm just saying it would be nice." He looked at Sheldon as they rounded the last turn up the stairs. He looked like he needed to barrow his Ipod and buy a cat. Jeez, Do I looked this bad when I'm depressed over a girl? He thought.

The reached their door and just as Penny's door opened. Leonard had the key in the lock and half turned when he turned around. He was speechless. He looked up to Sheldon for his reaction.

Oh shit, was what came first to his mind, the second was hurry up and open the door!

Sheldon was full of rage. He felt homicidal. He didn't even get this mad when he learned that the guys falsified his results in the North Pole. He watched Penny give Kurt a comfortable hug. Kurt turned around and grinned. Sheldon's Blood pulsed so hard through his veins, it was all he heard now.

How dare he grin, Sheldon thought.

"Evening hobbit. Evening Sheldon," Kurt said as he passed. Sheldon's eyes shot over to Penny. Something in him snapped when he heard his name leave Kurt's mouth.

"No. No, no, no. I will not accept this! Penny what are you thinking? Him?"

"Sweetie, calm down," Penny said as she motioned with her hands for him to mellow out.

"No, I will not calm down. Penny, I love you and I will not watch you do this. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean for what I said to be taken out of contests."

"Out of contests? Sheldon you said I was a used car with too many miles on it. That I was unreasonable to acquire a car with so many miles and prior owners."

"It is. What, wait, Huh?" Sheldon stopped to process what she said. Kurt stopped on the step he was on to watch the show. Leonard stood with door open, ready to run in and slam it shut when Kurt charged after them.

"Penny, we covered a couple of topics during that, um, activity. At one time I was thinking about, well umm..." He looked around at the audience. He didn't want to talk about the prior sexual partner part of the conversation with the subjects within punching range. "Well, that one bit, then we talked about the comparison. You see I was trying to compare it to something you would understand better, but it didn't come out like that, Then you asked about acquiring a car with too many miles on it and I answered you. You asked about the purchase of a vehicle, no where in that was I saying you where said vehicle with excessive miles."

"He's right Penny," Leonard chimed in. Penny glared at him. He took a step back and held his bag closer.

"Pen, I'm out. I've gotta met up with Dawna at her work. Take care," Kurt said, with amusement in his voice.

"Penny, May I come over and talk about this with you?" Sheldon asked. Penny nodded and stepped aside.

"So," was all Penny could say. Sheldon walked over to her and stood so close she could smell his minty breath.

"Penny, I've played over that conversation several times, and I would like to better explain some things. One, I'm not experienced in a sexual essence. You are rather experienced. I. I um..." He swallowed. Just say it, he told himself. "I didn't want to disappoint you. You've had many through and experienced lovers in the past and I know that even with my superior intellect, that is something I'm not skilled at." He watched Penny. Understanding crossed her face.

"Oh sweetie, You could never disappoint me in the bedroom," she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

"What if we do it somewhere else?" he asked seriously.

"Nope, not even then." Penny kissed Sheldon before he could ask another question.

They kissed and slowly made their way to the bedroom. He loved that she was in his arms. This was something he could be excited about everyday when he came home. Penny pulled Sheldon's shirt over his head. He leaned down to kiss the pale swells that where held in by her bra. When she moaned Sheldon stopped and looked up at her.

"I don't have any latex contraceptives," he said.

"If you're asking about condoms, I've got the box from Wisconsin. But sweetie, Sorry to be a tease, but I've gotta go to work.

Sheldon dropped his head on hers, just his luck.

"Sweetie, I can help you out with this," she said as she palmed his hard member. He gasped, but managed to nod his head. Penny undid his pants. She lowered to her knees and moved him to her bed. She licked him on his tip just as she eyed the clock. She had a few minutes wiggle room. She looked up at him as she took him into her mouth. She loved the look of his face. She felt so powerful, just then.

Mr. Smarty Pants was puddy in her hands. He looked at her in pure awe and wonder.

When she heard him groan and hiss when he was close to his moment, she got even more turned on. She cursed at the fact that she had to work. Penny relaxed her throat and look as much of him in as she could manage. His hands fisted some of her hair. She felt him curl, hold her tight with his legs, and him kiss her on her head just as he cried out. She moaned when she felt him pulse in her mouth. Penny looked up to see nothing but stomach. She gave a final suck on her way up, leaving a little kiss on his tip. He sat up a little, giving her room. Penny now was able to give Sheldon a good look. She grinned.

He looked like he was ready to fall asleep'

"Sweetie?" Penny asked.

Sheldon leaned down and kissed Penny.

"I love you," he said. She smiled. "I love you too. But I gotta go to work," she kissed him back and got up. "I'll stop by when I get back okay?" Sheldon nodded as he dressed.

Sheldon walked Penny to the stairs, then entered his apartment. Leonard was sitting there, fork in mouth. He reached for the remote and paused the movie.

Sheldon made his way to the couch, opened his box and poked the food.

"So?" Leonard asked once his food was swallowed.

"It went very well."

"Very well?"

"Well in your words, 'It was freaking awesome," Sheldon said before unpausing the movie.