Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or receive any payment for this work.
AU: Thanks so much to everyone who commented or favourite this story. You truly made my day. I never set out to write a long story as I know my limits, but Spock and Uhura just will not cooperate. As I am going away for a week or so I wanted to post something before I went. This is un-beta-ed and I know that shows. (If anyone is up for the job let me know) Abject apologies for any errors and I always appreciate people pointing them out, no offence will be taken.
Touched
Chapter 4
Spock.
He meditated deeply for long periods during the next two days. He reflected intensely on what had happened. He still felt the effects; unexpected waves of happiness would course through him scattering his concentration. He was aware of a longing and did not know why or for what the longed, just that he did. Odd snatches of unfamiliar tunes fluttered through his mind. It was disconcerting. It did occur to him that he should be profoundly glad that Cadet Uhura had been joyful and not furious when the connection occurred. Warmth filled him again as he thought of her. He wondered he was experiencing a conditioned response. Every time he thought of her he remembered and re-experienced happiness and so the two were becoming strongly associated.
As he gained clarity Spock realised that he was one major causes of the incident. It was illogical to continue to deceive himself. He was attracted to Cadet Uhura. If there was any conditioning it was minimal. He had sought her out and found reasons to be with her. It was no accident he was near the language lab when she was working, it was not just the act of a dedicated teacher when he offered to coach her and he was both open and receptive to her to the point where he was mentally leaning toward her. No wonder the unintended link had opened a flood gate.
Cadet Uhura was the other factor she had also been totally open to him and broadcasting, pushing her feelings out, although she would have been unaware of doing so. At first he thought it was because of the human tendency to reach out and share happiness, but then he slowly began to understand that Cadet Uhura was every bit as aware of him as he was of her. She was reaching out specifically to him. Two people mentally wide open and reaching toward each other formed an unintended link at a time of heightened emotion. It was logical that he had been flooded. He actually felt relief that the flow of sensation had been one way otherwise he might have been as exposed as she now was to him.
He knew her secrets. The intensity of her emotions the taste of her joy the colour of her passions and the way she felt when she thought about him. He closed his eyes. She saw him in such detail and it amazed him. He had learned more about himself in the past few days than he would have thought possible. For example, he knew how graceful he was when he moved, he did not feel graceful, but as he watched her memory he saw it was true. He knew how many female students watched him with lust in their eyes. Uhura had noticed what he had not.
Uhura.
Uhura made it her personal mission to stay out of Commander Spock's way. She changed her routines to ensure they could not meet, but she could not avoid his lectures. At day four post the High Five Incident, as she thought of it, she had to attend a lecture by Commander Spock. Normally she relished these and sat in the front row just the right of centre. Now she now sat slumped in the farthest back row near the corner behind two extremely tall students.
She watched him walk to the podium. His eyes moved around the students scanning the front row. Was he looking for her? An image formed in her mind, like something seen through a slightly misted window. It was herself seen from a perspective that looked down at her alert face; she felt a wisp of pleasure and appreciation. Several times in the past four days she had experienced these strange soft glimpses of herself and a whisper of emotion. She had reached the conclusion that these were glimpses from Spock somehow transferred during the High Five Incident. It seems he had not been unaware of her and had not thought badly of her. Uhura was sure that had changed.
As the days had passed she had become more and more afraid of what he may have felt or seen through the telepathic connection. If the blurry images and emotions she felt were any indication she would wager he had a similar but much clearer and more intense experience, after all he was the telepath. With growing horror Uhura had become very aware of just what thoughts had run through her mind during that touch and wondered if it was possible to die from mortification.
Spock.
Spock had never been as acutely uncomfortable as he was in those first days after the touch. He was overwhelmingly self aware; it was deeply unsettling and confronting. At first he found himself almost unable to walk to his office he was so self conscious. Having seen himself though another's eyes he now "saw" his every move as if viewed and judged by others. He could no longer be natural. He felt everyone was looking at him and when he checked he found a distressing number were. Also for the first time he was aware of the lascivious speculative looks of the female and some male cadets. He was profoundly relieved when he reached the privacy of his home or his office. He mediated deeply and often and fortunately with time the hyper-awareness started to fade.