Ask

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. *starts crying*

Author's Note: Sooooo. . . I owe SOOO many people an apology. There are two reasons why it has taken me so long to update.

1) Grade 12 play. It is evil. . . BUT now it is over!!! *does Numfar's dance of joy*

2) I think Hotchner said something mean to my muse, because she has suddenly started protesting the fact that Hotch is in this story. But I got them to sit down and talk it out, so know it's all good again!!! :D Sooo, yeah. I AM SOOOOOO SORRY!!!!! And here's the next chapter.

Chapter 4

"Dave? What the hell are you doing here?"

Rossi grinned at his friend as he walked passed him in Hotchner's apartment. Rossi had known immediately what Emily was doing when she had played on the team's lie. And Dave had to hand it to his friend, she had schooled the lot of them on how to lie. If Dave hadn't been one of the first profilers the FBI had ever known, he might have believed her himself. But he knew Emily, and he knew Hotch, and even though up until the day before he had been unaware of their relationship, he knew that they were very much in love.

Rossi hesitated on answering the question. The older man had a feeling that if he stalled long enough . . .

"Aaron? Who was at the door?" Emily appeared in their line of sight looking not very awake in only Hotch's t-shirt and her underwear, while carrying Jack, who was also half asleep.

When Emily had initially woken up, her first instinct had been to grab her gun and follow Hotchner to the door. That was until she had seen Jack run out of the room in the direction his father had gone a few seconds earlier. Then her instincts got the agent out of the bed, and sent her barreling after the young boy. Jack was quick for someone who had just woken up, but Emily's legs were longer and her reflexes were much faster so by the time they had reached the end of the hallway, Emily had scooped Jack up and held him to her hip as he snuggled into her shoulder. It wasn't until after she had stepped into the living room and asked her question, did she notice who was standing with her fiancé. Oops.

"That is why I am here, Aaron. To talk to the two of you about your relationship," Rossi gave his old friend a triumphant grin.

Aaron and Emily gave each other nervous glances, "I have no idea what you are talking about Dave, Emily is just staying here while her . . . house is getting renovated."

"Bull," Dave shook his head, "You lie worse than the rest of them. The entire team knows that the two of you are engaged," he gave Emily a smirk, "Or at least they all thought they knew. Emily kind of threw them for a loop today."

Emily grinned sheepishly as she scratched the back of her neck, "Yeah, about that. You guys need to be a little more cunning when you are trying to weasel information out of me. I saw right through that one."

"I figured," Rossi chuckled, "So how long have the two of you been keeping this a secret?"

The engaged couple tried to look anywhere but at their friend. Rossi might decide to kill them if he knew. But he would certainly kill the both of them if they said nothing. That wasn't really much of a choice.

"We started dating just after thecompoundinColorado," Hotch stumbled over the last words.

Dave arched his eyebrow, "What was that?"

"We started dating just after the compound in Colorado," Emily stated as she (and Jack) went to stand by the older Hotchner.

Rossi's jaw dropped and his eyes grew very wide, "You've been together for that long? It's been a year and a half!"

"We know," Aaron chuckled at the surprised look on his old friend's face.

The older man stood there staring at his friends. He didn't think it was possible that these two, two people who were obviously in love, could hide their relationship for a year and a half from profilers. They were supposed to notice behavior, especially unusual behavior. Everyone should have seen right through their disguises. Just because he was peeved at himself for being oblivious, did not mean that he was unhappy for them. And besides, he had gotten a juicy piece of gossip before Garcia. Boy, was she going to be jealous!

"I don't know how you hid it, but I am thrilled that you two finally decided to pull your heads out of your," Rossi glanced at Jack, "rears."

The older agent sat down in the lay-z-boy while the little family sat on the sofa, " So, do you two lovebirds know when exactly you're getting hitched? I need to make sure I clear my schedule."

"We haven't really talked about it yet," Hotch shook his head, "Wait, how exactly did you all find out that we're engaged?"

"Garcia whipped out her computer and we watched you three in your office," Dave thought back, "We were trying to listen in, but the noise in the bullpen was preventing us from hearing properly. Though we got the picture when Jack pulled out the ring."

Wheels started spinning in Emily's head once more, "So you saw us, but you technically didn't hear us?"

The two men glanced at each other, "That's right. What are you thinking Em?"

"That none of you know whether it was a real proposal or not," the female agent's grin widened, "For all they know, it could have been a practice run . . . or maybe a suggestion."

Aaron looked at his fiancée with a concerned, "Emmeline Katharine Prentiss! What is going on in the scheming head of yours?"

"First off, never full name me again if you want to keep certain parts of your anatomy," Emily gave Hotch a stern look, "Second, I was just thinking that maybe we were going about this scheme all wrong. Instead of playing off of what the team thought up, we could make it seem like I was deflecting."

Dave and Aaron exchanged confused glances before the seasoned profiler asked, "Deflecting what? You agreed that you thought Hotchner was gay . . . . Oh! You mean you are going to pretend to be gay?"

This trip might just have made Rossi's month.

"Well, I am still all about getting them back for trying to deceive me, so yeah. I could 'pretend' to hide a fake relationship with a woman," Emily responded.

"Then why would I have proposed?" Hotchner mused, "Or had Jack propose, as the case may be."

Emily thought about it for only a second, "I could be thinking about proposing to my 'girlfriend', and I decided to ask your opinion on how to go about doing it."

"Emily, that is the most convoluted, messed up plan I have ever heard," Dave burst into a grin, "And I like it."

"Hold on now," as much as Hotchner hated himself for protesting this plan (which he did), he decided to be the voice of reason, "Does the team really deserve all of this treachery?"

Emily gave him an incredulous look, "Yes! I didn't deserve all their treachery. I just want to give as good as I got."

"She raises a good point," Dave put in.

"All right," Hotch gave her a challenging look, "Who's be the lucky woman who'll be playing the role of your girlfriend in this twisted ploy of yours?"

"Lena," Hotch's eyes bugged out when Emily mentioned the name, "Think of it as an early wedding gift."

"Who's 'Lena'?" Dave asked out of sheer nosiness.

"The lesbian woman Emily dated for six years," Aaron replied.

"Five," she muttered.

"You Emily Prentiss, daughter of Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss, dates women?" Rossi had decided that this visit definitely made his month, or his year.

"It was just Lena! I may have dated her twice, but she was the only woman I have ever been with! My god, men are such pervs," Emily exclaimed, as the men exchanged knowing smirks.

"What's a 'perv'?" Jack piped up from his spot on Emily's lap. The boy had been pretty much asleep since they had walked into the living room, but his daddy and Emily had been talking about this Lena person all night, and Jack just wanted to know what was going on.

"A perv is something that Emily likes to jokingly call us men on our team," Dave said, "Emily calls the men 'pervs' and the women Goddesses."

It took almost all of their self-control for Emily and Hotch to not burst out laughing. Dave had always been good at spinning a yarn, but this took the cake.

Emily decided at that moment that they should put Jack to bed. She lifted herself and the young boy up, then leaned in and gave Hotch an enthusiastic kiss before trotting off towards their bedroom.

After Emily had left the room, (and he had rolled his eyes at Rossi's Cheshire cat grin) Aaron leaned over and spoke to his old friend, "Listen, Dave you don't have to stay for this. We'll leave you out of the scheme."

"Oh no you won't!" Dave said indignantly, "I did not drag myself out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn just to have you two kick me out of your little game. I want in on the action. Besides, I could be a double agent; finding out what they know, then bringing the info back to you."

"You are enjoying this way too much," Emily commented as she walked back into the room, grabbing the cordless phone as she went.

"The thought of seeing you kiss another woman does help the matter along," Dave grinned at her.

"Ha ha ha."

"So do you think she'll go for it?" Hotchner asked.

"I don't know actually," Emily motioned to the phone in her hand, "But I am going to find out one way or another."

The two men watched as Emily walked off into the kitchen to make her phone call.

"I almost want to sneak over there and eavesdrop," Dave said cheekily.

"You aren't the only one," Hotch had always wondered about Em and Lena's relationship. Emily didn't really talk about it, and other than the random pieces of information that he could weasel out of her brother, he couldn't say much about it.

Dave glanced at the kitchen before speaking again, "Aaron, I may be your best friend, but if you hurt that woman, I will personally rat you out to the team, and then ensure that they bring down so much pain, you'll wish you were dead."

Aaron looked right at his friend, "As scary as that thought is, I would never hurt Emily. Besides, I'd already be dead by the time you got to me," at Dave's confused look, he continued, "Emily's dad knows a few members of the Mafia. That scares me a little bit more."

"Oh," Dave didn't say anything else because Emily walked back into the room, "What did she say?"

"She's in, as long as I don't get mad at her over whatever wedding gift she gives us," Emily looked at Hotch's concerned expression, "I don't want to think about it. It is probably be something very dirty, and I really don't want know until I open it."

"Fair point," Aaron commented.

Dave looked back and forth between the two lovers, "Alright, since our major player is now in place, looks like we can start putting the plan into place."

Hotch looked between the two scheming agents, "Alright, I'll bite. What is the plan?"

It's a little depressing. My friend JUST realized that every chapter ends in a question. That is (partially) why I called it "Ask". After I continued it, it just fit all the better. So HA!!! That is why I end every chapter in a question, Marina!!!! :P

I really hope you liked this chapter! It WILL be updated soon!

Next chapter: The team. . and a visit from Lena?