There, this is my second chapter, hope you like it...
I know it took a long time, but it's a bit longer too and has a lemon so...
Enjoy!Chapter 2: The first feeling
"Disgusting pervert…" I pointed it to Kanou, but I somehow kept myself quiet so that he didn't have any reason to be angry with me.
He lay next to me on the bed (of course I made sure he lay on the other end of the bed and I was still trapped in the corner…) staring at the ceiling with a proud grin on his face. I wondered whether the grin was because he had great sex with me (somehow it made me feel proud too… that meant I was good in bed…) or because he had his sister-in-law lose her vocabulary.
I still felt ashamed because of what happened and I couldn't imagine me saying here, but I did notice myself being a bit more open towards Kanou-san (open in this sentence meant that I dared to look at him without blushing and the quilt did not hide my face anymore).
It had been the last ten minutes that he had that grin plastered on his face and his look straight at the ceiling, so the bigger the shock was for me when he turned his face to look at me without that grin.
"So…" he started, sitting straight up. "… you hungry?" I gave him a look but quickly shook my head. My stomach on the other hand betrayed me by growling loud. He laughed quietly and showed me a sign to get up.
He walked to the door, waiting for me to get up. I couldn't get up like this… I was like undressed and unable to find my clothes. He turned around all of a sudden, staring at me as if I was deaf.
"Come on…" he repeated.
"I'm not leaving this room naked…" he grinned at that.
"I don't mind. Anyway, my room is right next to my parent's room. I can give you some of my clothes. We'll be there right away… come on!"
"Where are my clothes anyway?"
"I don't know. You were drunk… as were I… I can recall pulling them of but… where I put them… no idea." he smiled at me but I didn't think about this as funny at all.
He was kidding, right? This couldn't be happening. I was undressed! My feet slowly stood up, throwing the quilt aside. He felt how his gaze was running over my naked body and blushed a bit.
"Don't you have a shirt or something…" I whispered right when he was about to open the door. He turned around, staring at me. His face looked doubtful, but turned into a grin and he walked back to the bed. He kneeled next to it, feeling under the bed and pulling a shirt of his from under it. He grinned playfully.
"It's not yours… but it will cover a lot." he lay it in my arms, placing a kiss on my cheek quickly and after he turned his head around to corner to look whether there was someone around.
I put my hand on the place where his lips left a kiss and swallowed deeply. What was going on with me? A hand grabbed for my arm all of a sudden.
"Come on." he whispered, still looking around and then pulling me through the door. He quickly walked through the hall and didn't give me the time to get a good look around. Of course I could already make sure that this place was huge. He dragged me through big wooden doors and closed them behind him.
I sighed deeply. This place was a bit smaller than the room we came from. The bed also wasn't as big as the one from his parents.
"It's a bed for one person, I know… small, isn't it." he said, looking sort of sad. I stared at him. Small? I slept on the floor before I got here. This bed isn't small at all. I wondered if he even knew how poor his people were. Again I sighed.
"Can you just… give me anything to wear?"
"You're already wearing something." his hand was placed on my waist.
"I mean… something that fits…" I tried to push the warm fingers away. He was harassing me, placing his other hand on the other hip while caressing my neck with soft, tender kisses. I blushed again. What was going on? The man felt so great, warm… the man I hated most was the one closest to me. The one that could touch me without feeling disgusted.
"No… Kanou-san… don't…" he stopped it, to only quickly press his lips against mine.
"I'll look for some clothes." he said, winking, and walking straight to his personal wardrobe. "Of course… All my clothes will be too big… but I'm sure I still have clothes from when I were younger. Wait, I know." he walked to the left side of his wardrobe, pulling out a smaller costume.
"Here, try this." he handed it over to me.
"While you dress yourself, I'll change my clothes too. I'll see you outside my room, okay?"
"…Sure…" I stared at him blankly. He winked again, grinning and then turned around to leave the room.
I didn't know where he was about to dress himself, but the next few minutes would belong to me. Only me, no other person. I looked around in the room, laying the costume down on the bed. The 'small' bed. I sat down on it, swallowing. It had red covers, with about five pillows and next to the wardrobe hung a mirror. I sighed. What was I even doing here. Then I stood up, pulling of the shirt I was wearing. I had to dress myself. Kanou-san was waiting for me.
It took me a few minutes to put these clothes on. They still were too big and they smelled like the crown prince. Even though they were in that wardrobe for a long time, I could still smell him. I looked older in the mirror, and I thought that a rich costume did not suit me. Maybe because I was used to my old, ripped clothes.
I turned around to walk at the door, when I heard a few knocks.
"Yes… I'm done, Kanou-san." I walked a little faster, to open the door and notice a blue colour. Kanou's hair still looked the same, but the clothes he was wearing made him look so much fancier. He looked like the terrible rich people I always disgusted.
He coughed a little, bowing deeply. My face blushed. He took my hand in his, placing a soft kiss on it and he whispered:
"Would you accompany me to the dining room?" I pulled my hand away when his dark brown eyes looked up in mine, looking away shyly and blushing deep.
"…Don't…"
"Is that a: 'Yes' in your language?" he smiled a bit, which made me smile too.
"Yes." he placed another kiss on my hand and stood back up to take me downstairs. God… he was flirting with me and I didn't even mind! I was turning into someone I didn't know.
When we reached the dining room, I expected something as huge as his bedroom. Maybe even double the size, but on the contrary. It was two times smaller, just a kitchen with a table for six.
I gave Kanou a weird look.
"I know… it looks small, but this is more like the kitchen. We only use the real dining room for important meetings and such." he said.
"Kanou?" another voice said, when I was about to reply. We turned around to see Kuba standing there, he smiled at me. "Are you ready? You have to replace our parents again."
"Are there a lot of complains?"
"A bit more then yesterday." Kanou sighed deeply.
"Will you hand Ayase some food? I have to go."
"I can help him find some decent clothes." Someya said, who gave my clothes a weird look. She probably noticed they didn't really fit. "I can dress him as a girl." everybody gave her a look.
I didn't want to look like a girl! I stayed a boy.
"Yes… maybe that's better for the outside world." Kanou added. He smiled at me, but I didn't feel like smiling back at all.
"I don't want the be a girl…" I whispered, but it seemed like nobody listened. I felt terrible. Tired, strange. I couldn't remember anything about last night. I hated it. This life, their royal… doings. I had to change myself into a girl to stay here? I didn't want to stay here! Why did nobody understand…?
"I think I have a pretty dress up in my room." Someya added and she smiled at me. "And a wig, long blond hair, that would fit him, right?"
"SHUT UP!" I stood up quickly. The three of them gave me a look. "I don't want this! I don't want to be a girl! In fact I don't have any idea why you would change me! I don't want this life!!" I gave Kanou the most irritated look and then, when I felt the tears pinching in my eyes, I took the opportunity to leave that room.
Running away, inside of this huge building. I wanted to go home. This place had everything a poor person like me would want… but this lifestyle did not suit me. Why did nobody want to see that?
"Excuse me, servant…" I looked up at the voice. A man with blond hair gave me a look, walking straight at me.
"Me…?" I asked softly, pointing at myself. I wasn't a servant.
"Sorry, have you seen Kanou nii-san somewhere? Or Kuba-nii… I cannot find them." he stood in front of me now and I sniffed. "Are you crying?"
"Eh? Ah! No…" I wiped away my tears and looked away.
"Come on, beautiful. Just tell me what's wrong." he pushed up my face, smiling at me. He had these dark blue eyes, who could look right into your soul, just like Kanou's. Only the colour was different.
"Gion!" that was Kanou's voice. I turned around to look at Kanou. He pulled me close to him, further away from Gion-san. "What are you doing?"
"You can just say 'Welcome home'. I would appreciate that… anyway did I do anything wrong? I was just asking this boy what was wrong?"
What? He knew I was a boy? I blinked a few times, blushing fiercely, for he was the first one of this family to notice my true gender (accept for Kanou… I bet he knew that…).
"Kanou-san… let me go…" I whispered, pushing his arm away from my body. The dark eyed person ignored it, grabbing on me tighter so I could not escape.
"That's none of your business now, is it?" he gave his youngest brother an angry look.
"You made him cry, didn't you?"
"Shut up! I told you already that it's none of your business!"
"…Jeez, nii-san. Can you ever say something to a servant that would not hurt them…?"
"Servant? He's not a servant…" Gion looked stunned.
"Really… I'm sorry!" he smiled at me, with a little red colour. "I thought so because… you're clothes are too big and… well… don't you have anything else to wear?"
"Yes. Someya has a dress for him."
"Someya-nee? Where is she? I'd like to say hello!" he grinned sweetly, which made me smile too. What a normal prince. He wasn't as formal as his brothers. He wasn't even wearing anything royal. He wore a simple leather pants, brown leather, just like people wore in the town. His shirt had a white colour, with a few buttons. He really was the youngest and most playful of the four.
"Upstairs… in her room, looking for a dress. If you go to her, can you take Ayase with you? Kuba told me to go take my place on the throne."
"Many complains?"
"A lot… mostly about food."
I felt like an outsider. Only held by this warm person, but not really connected to anything. When did we actually decide I wanted to wear that dress?
"Are you coming with me, Aya-chan?" Gion gave a smile and I could do nothing else but nod. He held out his hand, probably waiting for me to place mine in, but I didn't. I didn't really want connection with them.
"Yes…" I whispered, following Gion silently.
"I'll see you later then, okay?" Kanou looked kind, as if I were the only person that could make him smile. I nodded. I didn't even know why I didn't run away. Why I always give in to that person. Maybe because I belong to him now. Yes… that bed made me his property I was just so stupid to not do anything about it. I was an idiot. The biggest idiot in the human world.
"Gion-san!" Someya hugged her brother-in-law as hard as possible. "You're finally back!"
"… Looks like I am…" he hugged Someya back, ginning at her sight. "Kanou didn't miss me!"
"Ah! You know Kanou-san." she said disgusted, letting go of Gion. "He's the one that I can't stand. It's such a pity he's the eldest." she was walked to her wardrobe, picking out a few dresses.
Their room was different form Kanou-san's. It had a lower ceiling and a bigger bed. The sheets had a dark red colour, with golden layers and prints. It looked a little more Chinese. Her wardrobe had the same golden colour as the prints. It was wood with a golden shine, more precisely. Maybe that was normal. Wood doesn't sound so fancy, but giving it a golden colour made everything better.
"Aha! I think blue is your colour." she said, looking at me now. She was holding a light blue dress with flower pattern on it. "Since this one's too small for me, you can have it. I have a lot of dresses form my past… most of them don't fit anymore so. This one's yours."
"… does he have to wear a corset? I don't think he's used to that…" Gion said, looking at me.
"No, he's skinny enough." Someya smiled at me, showing me the sign to turn around."
"If you will, please undress. I have got the underwear and garter's too. You have to wear them to make it complete." she winked at me.
"I… I can't wear garters…"
"Come on, Aya-chan! You won't look that bad…" Gion gave his smile again.
"…and they fit well around your body. You won't notice it."
With both of them staring at me with those faces I couldn't do anything but grating their wish.
This was strange. My hair grew a lot taller, it reached my middle, covering my breasts (yes, Someya even made me have fake breasts…) and making me look really female. There were ringlets down at the bottom of my wig and I had little hairpins on top of my head, with the same flower pattern as on my dress.
"Ah! And the shoes." she smiled at me, taking out a pair of shoes. "These are a pair I wore a lot. Try them on." they were blue with little ribbons on. I wasn't sure I could wear shoes like that… they also had heels so…
"You'll be fine." Gion said, as if he could read my mind. "We're still here to help." again he held out his hand. "I understand if you still don't want to. You probably don't want to feel like a lady." he said it all with a smile though I knew that being denied could actually hurt. A smiled a little, placing my hand finally in his.
"Can you escort me to Kanou-san?" I asked. He grinned at that.
"I'd love to do that…" he said, leaving Someya behind with a proud smile on her face.
My heart was pounding. Pounding so loud. I had almost tripped at about three times and Kanou-san was about to see me like this.
"He's in there." Gion said, letting go of my hand and pushing me towards the entrance.
"But… I can't…" I didn't understand what I was about to say. Maybe that I didn't dare to enter, looking like this. Or maybe that I didn't know how to act as a female person.
"Go… Kanou-san will tell you what to do." he quickly turned around, walking away from me so that I couldn't ask anymore questions. I coughed silently, stepping one foot forward, followed by the other.
"Here I go…" I said to myself, hoping that I wouldn't trip anymore.
This room was a big hall, from which I saw. It had two golden thrones next to each other. The one a bit smaller then the other, and it had the royal sign on top. I noticed how Kanou-san was sitting in the biggest one.
A red carpet ran from the door straight to where he sat and two guards were standing next to the door, to open it I guessed. Next to the two chairs there also stood guards, their eyes fixed onto the nothingness in front of them.
I recognized them as guards since these people sometimes walked through the village. As to notice something was going on or not. Maybe a robbery, maybe something worse like… a murder. Who knows? These things happened constantly.
I coughed silently, which made Kanou look up immediately. His eyes fixed on mine. I bet he noticed the make up I was wearing. I swallowed deeply as I recognized the intensiveness in his eyes. He smiled at me, standing up.
"Your majesty…" a guard said. Kanou turned around to face the one standing next to the door. "A Mister Aizawa has arrived to tell his complains."
"Yes… tell him to wait. I have more important business to do." he faced me again this time able to walk to me. He stopped in front me, making a royal bow. With a grin he took my hand, placing a kiss onto it. I felt the blood rising to my head.
"I'm glad you're here, my princess." he whispered to my hand, loud enough to make me hear it, but I doubted whether the guards could hear it too.
"You… what should do?" I whispered back. He looked up. "I don't know how to act as a lady." he chuckled softly.
"You now lay your arm in mine, bet you've heard of that before." he said back. I slowly shook my head.
"Look…" he said, holding out his arm so that it made an opening the let my hand slip through that hole. I slowly placed my arm through it.
"Like that?" I asked. He grinned softly.
"Yes. Perfect." I smiled a bit too, happy that I did something right for the first time. He walked me to the chair in which had not been sitting and told me to sit down with every single part of my body as straight as possible.
I sat as straight up as I could, watching him sitting down in way much better way then I did.
"Let Mister Aizawa come in." he said to the guard, who now bowed and opened the door to let a man enter with old clothes and a chicken in his hands.
I swallowed deeply at the sight of Kanou's face. He looked like he could kill the man. Maybe he was allergic to chickens? I laughed to myself at the thought of that.
"Your highness…" the man said, kneeling down and bowing, the chicken still in his hands. He now looked up at Kanou to avert his eyes at me. He also bowed at me.
"That is Yukiya Ayase." Kanou said. I looked at him, at the same time with Aizawa-san. "My fiancé." I was stunned… fiancé? I knew I had to stay here forever but… when did we agree on the marriage.
"Yukiya-sama…" he whispered, bowing at me and pointing the chicken at me now. "Please… milady… my chickens are starving and I need to feed my family. Please! Give me money… food, anything! Even if you just feed my daughter and wife and let me die! I'd give my life for some food." I saw how a tear ran over his cheek and understood how he felt. I had to do something. Wait. I noticed some chickens in the royal garden before. Why don't we give him some?
"I can give you some… chickens, Aizawa-san." I said, Kanou looked at me, the same angry look as he pointed to the man. "The garden is full of it." Aizawa looked up. Standing up to grab my hand and place a kiss on it.
"Thank you, miss." he said. Kanou stood up, grabbing the man by his hair and throwing him onto the floor in front of his chair.
"Get out." he said. Aizawa looked scared, he stood up straight and I noticed his nose bleeding.
"Sorry… your highness." he said, bowing deeply. He left the room in a hurry, leaving his sick chicken behind.
"What were you doing?" Kanou asked. His voice sounded furious.
"I was… giving him… food."
"You don't do anything!" he yelled. I never was as scared as I was now. As he leaned into the chair I was sitting in, his eyes were focused on mine. "In fact, you don't say or do anything as long as I don't give you permission."
"Why can't I say anything…?" I whispered. I knew it was best to shut up, but I couldn't.
"Because you, as my fiancé, should do whatever I tell you! And I tell you not to say anything!"
"I didn't even agree on being your fiancé…"
"I tell you to marry me! You must marry me! You don't have any choice! You are mine!" he forcefully pressed his lips on mine, but I pulled my head away.
"God damn it!" he said, standing up straight and walking out of this hall in a hurry.
My body shivered. My breathing stocked. My heart pounded in my throat and I felt like throwing up. I spoiled everything.
"Excuse me… milady Ayase… are you all right?" I turned my head to the right, to the male voice that was saying my name.
One of the guards was looking at me. He walked one step closer, stopping suddenly to make a deep bow.
"Am I allowed to talk to you, miss?" he said softly. His hair was black and he had about a normal man's size.
"… Yes! Of course! I'm… I'm fine." I said to him.
"Ah! That's great!" he said, standing back up. He walked to my throne, kneeling down next to me.
"Takanohashi Yamato." he said. "I think I'm your personal guard from now on." he grinned and I noticed the green colour of his eyes. They looked grown up. Proud of the status he had.
"Pleased to meet you." I said back, sniffing once.
"Don't mind what his majesty said… he didn't mean anything. Maybe he's only a bit confused." I smiled a bit.
"Yes… I have to talk with him."
"You want me to come with you, your highness?"
"No, thank you, I want you to take care of the chicken." I stood up slowly, trying to stand up straight. Stupid heels. "Oh, and please call me Ayase from now on."
"How can I do that?"
"I tell you to. Please listen." he smiled a bit.
"I'll try, Ayase-sama." he said back, bowing again. I bowed back quickly, hoping he noticed it and walked to the door.
I knew he was thinking I was strange, but the smile on his face looked true. He looked young for being here so maybe he would be someone I could talk with personally. Those weren't my biggest concerns but it was only normal for me to worry about it this much. My biggest concern was Kanou-san… How could I face him now?
Somehow I was able to find my way to his bedroom. I knew I had to take the stairs and it was right next to the master bedroom of his parents so… I just followed my instincts. Maybe this was what they called 'female instinct', but only this was working because I wore a dress.
I knocked on the door softly.
"Kanou-san… are you there?" I asked.
"…Come in…" was his reply. I opened the door slowly. The room had his smell all over and I entered it slowly. He was sitting on the windowsill with one leg, looking outside with a sad kind of face.
There was a dead silence when he turned around to look at me and only the sound of my heels were audible in the room. I swallowed deeply, looking for the right words to say.
"Please… don't say anything." he interrupted. He stood up, watching me. "Come here." my feet brought me closer, feeling sore because of the female shoes.
His eyes were never looking away from mine and I noticed a little bit of sorrow in his look. His hand was placed onto my long golden locks of hair and he smiled a bit.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" his sentence stopped in a sigh and I smiled too.
"It's okay… I just… I don't know if I can marry you." his look changed again. Not into angry or disappointed, into normal. He coughed silently.
"I won't force you to. But… I do want you to know that marrying you… is my dream." I blushed deeply as his hand found his way through the hair and placed itself onto my cheek.
"At least let me kiss you." he whispered deeply. I nodded weakly, waiting for him to close his eyes made contact between our lips. I closed my eyes.
"I love you, Ayase…" he whispered, and I noticed his voice was closer than before. I made a soft sound, letting him know that I heard what he had said and with a soft chuckle the contact was made.
I didn't want to live with him, but I didn't want to leave him. I hated this place but felt good in here at the same time. I didn't like the royal family, but liked the way Gion, Kuba, Someya and even Kanou-san were acting towards me.
I didn't understand myself anymore. I was doubting about whether I still wanted to leave or not. I was changing into a person that was hiding himself inside of me. A person that was hiding in that little corner of my heart. The little corner that told me that the royal family wasn't as bad as I thought but I wanted to just… lock out that part. Make that part think that he had the wrong host to settle in.
Seems like I was wrong. He was in the right host. The host just was too stubborn to realise it.
The kiss stopped, the warmth of his lips descending to my neck. The strength of his arms all resting around my waist.
"Kann-- Kanou-san…" My voice trembled. Maybe I was nervous. This feeling did look like nervous but also gave a weird feeling in my stomach.
"You don't like that?" he softly said. I opened my eyes at last, to look him in the eye.
"I- I don't- … know." he grinned in his way.
"Of course you do…" he lifted me up, placing me onto the bed with his entire body weight onto me.
"B- but… wait- K-Kanou-san…" his hand held out my leg, my heel inside of his palm. He sat up straight on his knees, removing the white heel and placing a soft kiss on the place where I had a blister for sure.
"I'm sorry you have to go through all this for me." he whispered. My face blushed a bit and I shook my head. Kanou grinned loudly.
"Don't worry… I won't go all the way." he said, lowering my leg to pull down my garters. I let a little sound slip, placing my hands next to my face and closing my eyes.
This was strange… I knew we had done it before, but since I couldn't remember I felt scared, unsure and sort of nervous.
"Can you sit up for a minute?" he said. I opened my eyes, letting him pull me up. "I have to open your dress." he smiled kindly, hugging me close, so that he could look over my shoulder to open the strings of my dress.
Is smelled him the best now. This smell I knew from when I woke up here next to him. This smell I tried so hard not to forget.
The dress slid down my shoulders, falling down onto the bed. He replaced me next to it and threw the dress on the floor. I covered my now naked body with my hands, looking away from his inspecting, warm gaze.
"I told you already… you'll like it." he said it in a sensual voice, which made the nervous feeling become worse and settle down inside of my stomach.
"Just relax and listen to what say… promise?" I looked him in the eye and his serious face made me unclench a bit more. I coughed softly and let my head nod again. He smiled now.
"Okay… than first open your legs… else I can't do anything."
"W- N-…" my head shook when I felt the warmth rising to it. I just said I'd listen to whatever he tells me to do, so I opened my legs as slow as I could.
"Seems like you're already excited." he whispered. "Now just lay down and enjoy this." he said while descending his head. I watched him doing that and quickly lay down on the bed. Trying to relax and enjoy as he told me to.
"Hnn!" I bit my lip as I felt him kissing the tip of my manhood. His lips slowly opened to let the warmth of his mouth surround everything.
"Haa… Nah!" it was completely covered. Every single bit of it was. I felt the warmth covering every inch as his tongue slowly massaged it in a skilful way. It was like he had done this a thousand times before. The constant pace of up and down.
The feeling of being nervous turned into complete pleasure and as I felt his saliva making the movement easier and faster. My hands grabbed for his hair as I felt my heartbeat race more. My breathing became hard to control and I tried to keep my voice down as I knew my climax was coming soon.
"Kan- ha! Yess! Naaaa…" the sounds when his lips sometimes parted from me only made it more enjoyable. I never knew that doing stuff like this could feel this great.
"Uhnn… com…inggg- haa!" with a loud moan I released my liquid inside of his mouth and as my climax took control of my mind, I said his name in a soft scream.
When my head finally cleared I finally realised how shameful this was. He lay next to me, swallowing deeply and smiling after he cleaned his lips.
"That's it…" he said. "… told you you'd like it." he lay down on his back, staring at the ceiling, giving me time to catch in on my breath.
"I do love you, Ayase." he said, after a minute of silence. "I don't want you to forget that." he turned his head to look at me. I just looked into his eyes and as he averted his gaze to the ceiling again and closed his eyes I sighed.
I don't know whether I loved him or not. I liked this, that was for sure, but… I think it's only natural for people to like… sexual contact. But I also liked his smile, his intensive look, his protectiveness, his dark brown hair and his … Kanou-ness. I smiled at that, crawling closer to him, to feel his warmth again, and as he lay his arms around me I knew he was enjoying this moment as much as I did.
Just silence, and his loud heartbeat next to my ear, which made me realize that he probably felt as nervous as I did. I placed a kiss on his chest.
"I wont forget it, Kanou-san." I whispered to myself as I fell asleep. What I didn't know was that he wasn't asleep yet and had heard what I had said. With that he allowed himself to enter the land of dreams with a little smile.
I would enjoy a review to the longest chapter I ever wrote... ^^
~ x