Chapter 4
Disclaimer: SM owns... I own NM, and the crazy dancers...
I walked around in a daze... Everything that happened over the past 24hrs didn't seem real. Meeting Bella, wanting Bella, going to Vicki's... God I didn't even want to think about Vicki right now. I pulled out a smoke, lit up and kept pace to the one place that would give me peace. I just wanted to see her face. Then I would figure out this shit.
Approaching the parking lot, my phone rang. " Hello?" I questioned not bothering to look at the screen before answering.
"Edward, Honey are you OK? Whats going on? Vicki called and she's terribly upset honey..." My mother rambled.
" Mom..." I sighed and slid down the side of the building " I'm not OK, everything's fucked up, I can't marry Vicki..." I whispered
" Oh Baby, Its just jitters! Perfectly normal" She laughed " Come home, have dinner with us and everything will be just fine, you'll see"
I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair, knowing she couldn't see me I spoke " Mom, she, she was with someone else! I can't do this... I've made a mistake... It can't be to late..."
" Oh" she gasped " Dear please come home, let me fix this, OK?"
" It can't be fixed..." I sighed really just wanted to get over it and go to her. " Mom, I cant go through with the wedding... I'll come home but you understand right?"
" Yes, dear. Please just come" she said lovingly
" OK... I'll be there as soon as I can"
" I'm so sorry, Edward... I love you son. See you soon."
" I love you to Mom, Thanks." With that I hung up the phone.
Standing up, I brushed off my backside and looked into the direction in which my body was being pulled. She was there, right across the street. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I knew I shouldn't go there. I told her I would fix things. Not bring her more into a mess. I needed to handle my shit and then I could go to her. Be with her. God I hopped she'd have me. I pulled out my phone and called the local taxi guy who took care of my clients when in town and gave him the address. Walking half a block I stood out side the mini mart and waited. I didn't want him to pick me up mid day across the street from a strip club... It just wasn't right. Nor did I want her to see me.
30 minutes later I was home, grabbing my keys I saw the red light on the answering machine blinking. I hit the erase button and then unplugged the damn thing. Locking the door I got into the car and drove home. I knew my mother couldn't fix this... Fuck, I couldn't even fix this shit now. It was Vicki's doing. Well I fucked up too, but nothing compared to her....
What the hell do I tell my Mom? I can't tell her what I caught Vicki doing. I couldn't even fathom the way to say those word to my mother. Let alone telling her that's why I wanted the wedding to be off. I know she loves Vicki, but she would agree it was wrong of her. Then do I tell her about Bella? They way she makes me feel? What I did last night and this morning knowing I was to be married the following day? Even after the Vicki situation, I knew it wasn't OK that I kissed another woman.
I pulled up the drive, and felt a little relieved. Home, no matter how old you get and how many different places you make yours nothing feels the same as being where you grew up. Having your Mom, and Dad... God, I sound like a pussy!
Getting out of the car and shutting the door I saw the front door fly open and my Mother running down the stairs.
" Oh baby, I'm so sorry... Come let me make you something to eat and we can talk OK?" She said grasping my hand and squeezing it.
" Sounds good" I gave her a meek smile.
I settled into the kitchen island, elbows on the granite and hands in my hair rubbing then up and down my face and back up to my hair.
" Mom, what am I supposed to do?" I questioned
" Well, first off you need to talk to Vicki, you owe her that much if your calling off the Wedding. Regardless of what happened, and as you assured, I don't need the details. Maybe after talking you'll see you both need time. Maybe postpone the Wedding? I can call her mother and help her with the arrangements. If you do decide to completely call it off, well we will be one step a head." She smiled
I felt a little better "OK" I took a drink of my milk and grabbed my sandwich... I swear she made me feel 12 again. But damn if it didn't make me feel good to be taken care of.
" Is there something else bothering you Edward?" my Mother asked looking up from the sink.
" I don't know where to start... You aren't going to be pleased... I fucked up too."
" Dear? What do you mean?" She stopped and dried her hands and pulled out the stool next to me.
" Well, I ahhh I meet someone else...."
" Oh Edward..." she sighed shaking her head " Go on, explain" she gestured
So I did, I explained everything, well almost. Told her How Bella made me feel. How I questioned my relationship with Vicki, my feelings just after a few hours with this women. I told her about lunch and seeing her again. How I hoped if was nothing but once my eyes fell upon hers I knew it wasn't. I told her how beautiful Bella was, How her hair fell, her eyes spoke and how I couldn't stop thinking about here. I told her how I left NM to tell Vicki, to explain, tell her I was sorry and see how she felt about what I did. Told her how I walked in on Vicki... and stopped there. She didn't want to know the rest. For that I was thankful.
" I've really mess up huh?" I looked finally meeting her eye's. One tear falling down her cheek and I knew I had.
" Well, you did mess up. But you know, everything happens for a reason right?" She said more tears falling " I wouldn't have you if that weren't true, you know that."
" I know Mom" I choked back the lump in my throat thinking about my biological parents, My moms sister...
" Things in life are never perfect. You have been throne under a bus for lack of better words. Now you have to pull your self up and decide what your going to do about it. I'm not please you kissed another woman while being involved with another. With that said, I agree with you disision regaurding Viki, I am your mother, I will stand by your side which ever way you chose. But do what is best for you, your heart. " She smiled grabbing my hand " Please call Vicki, talk to her. Clear your head and fix all this mess. Then if you still want to see Bella, do it."
" I will, I promise. I know I shouldn't have Mom, I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen."
" Edward, stop. I know you didn't. Things just happen OK? Go! Take care of your messes son. I'll always be here. I love you" I hugged her, kissed her cheek and ran up the stairs to my old room.
I sat on my bed, cell phone in hand and scrolled down for the number I was dreading to call. My Mom was right, I needed to clear this up so I could move on.... with Bella....
You don't even know if that's what she wants!
Fuck!
But I think it is....
She has too...
I huffed and pushed the TALK button. I knew she would answer.
" Edward?" she sobbed " Please listen to me please! Don't hang up!"
" Yeah its me, I'm sorry too. Look we need to talk..."
" That's all I'm asking Eddie... Can I go first?" she sniffled
" Yup, go a head..." I leaned back and closed my eye's and listened
I woke up in the morning still in my clothes from the day before. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and breathed in the smell of bacon and pancakes. I smiled. HOME. I layed there for a few moments going over the conversation with Vicki. I was glad she didn't argue when I told her it was over. The Wedding was off, and I was truly sorry. She was too. I told her about Bella. I'm not sure why, but I had a feeling I needed to. Mom was right she deserved it. I still love Vicki, just not in that way.
Getting out of bed I walked into the bathroom, and took a leak. Scratching my head, I thought of Bella. I grinned and turned on the shower. Settling under the spray I lathered up washing my body and thinking about Bella. How much everything had turned upside down and around in the last 48hrs... How happy I actually was of the prospect of seeing her again. Not having to hide anything to tell her I could be with her. If she'd have me. I wanted to kiss her, love her, god touch her... Really touch her body. I felt my self harden and my hand wonder down. Stroking myself slow and firmly, grazing my head with my thumb I moaned. Picturing Bella in those small shorts and tank top. The feel of her body straddling my. Rubbing me. " Fuck" I muttered slapping the shower wall with my free hand. Keeping it there to steady myself my pace sped up. This time I was laying on my back and Bella was on top of me hovering over my cock. The little shorts riding up her creamy thighs and warm hands gliding over my chest. " ohhhhhhh fuck!" Warm spurts hit the tile wall and dripped down my hand, mixing with the water. I let out a large breath and let the water wash over me. It soon chilled and I turned the faucet off and grabbed a towel. I felt more relaxed in this moment then I had in months.
I got dressed in a hurry. Making my way down stairs to the delicious smell.
" Morning dear, sleep well?" my Mom asked
"Son" My father nodded
" Yup" I popped the 'p' " Thanks" I said as she filled my plate with pancakes and bacon.
" Welcome, So I take the phone call went well?"
" Yes, actually. She was upset about calling off the wedding but I think in her heart she knew it was over. I even told her about Bella" I smiled
" Bella?" My dad asked over the news paper
" Umm yeah, I a- a-" I stuttered not sure why it was so hard to explain it to my father
" Carsile Honey, the girl I told you about" my Mother cut in, glad for once she had told him and I didn't have to.
" Oh" he shook his head in disappointment, I couldn't blame him. " I better get going things to um, take care of and such. I'll be back soon Esme." He kissed my mother and left with a nod in my direction.
" It will be OK honey, he's just upset, you know he has to go over to Vicki's parents house and help with all the arrangements with the guests that came in for the wedding. He thought it was the lest he could do..." She shrugged.
My good mood was taken down a little. Sitting there finishing my food. I realized today was supposed to be my wedding day. Everything planned out. Now thing had to be canceled and 'taken care of '. I was sorry this is what it had come to but not sorry at the same time. Bella... Just the thought of her made me come to life. I could probably do cart wheels and dance around like some fairy freak just with the thought of her. It didn't bother me one bit.
" Thanks for breakfast Mom, I better get going. I have to go return some things and cancel the honey moon..." I mumbled
" Oh OK, well I'll be here if you need any help honey. Don't hesitate to call. I love you. And believe it or not I am proud." she patted my cheek
" Proud?" I rose an eyebrow... was she nuts?
" Yes dear, you stood up for yourself. You could have just taken Vicki back, forgot about everything and did what was expected. But you didn't. Now, I'm not sure what to think about this Bella girl and why she let you kiss her when she knew you were to be married. But everything happens for a reason." she winked and kissed my cheek. " Go on, I love you" she shooed me.
" Bye!" I chuckled walking out the door. Some how she had made me laugh despite everything. My Mother was truly amazing. She understood, well to an extent.
I wanted to see Bella so badly tell her what happened that I wasn't getting married, but I wanted to put everything else to rest first. I drove home and set out to make all the phone calls needed. Put everything in order so I could go to Bella free. No attachments. Lingering obligations or messes. I wanted it all done as fast as possible so I could feel her again. I told her I would make everything right. And I sure as fuck was going to keep my word. Its funny how what I thought of as my last night out turned out to be the first night I was truly alive.
Chapter Notes:
So sorry for the late update. I was in limbo with this story, trying to figure out where I wanted it to go. I had a few options and yeah we ended up here. Hope you liked it. How is everyone liking EPOV?? Anyone want any body Else?? Lemme know and maybe we can work it out :-)
Question: What do you think Vicki did??
Review and leave an answer! I'm curious to see everyones ideas... Who knows if there is a really good one I might add it in!! And don't worry you will get credit in the next AN's.
Smackers~