Story so far: Logan notices some changes in Veronica. She seems to be different lately. This chapter is from Veronica's point of view.

Veronica wakes up to a voice she has not heard in a long time. She opens her eyes and looks at the source of the voice and sees her mother standing there.

Even in her groggy, barely awake state, Veronica can see her mother looks healthy. Her blond hair is shiny. Her skin glows. She is smiling. She looks much better than she did when she came home from rehab the last time. She listens as her mother tells her breakfast is ready.

Rubbing her tired eyes, Veronica looks at her mother and asks a little angrily, "When did you get back?"

Lianne Mars looks at her daughter and frowns at her tone. She decides her daughter is tired and lets her tone go, "I haven't gone anywhere sweetie." Seeing her daughter is having trouble waking up she tells her to hurry and get ready for school and then leaves the room.

Veronica's finely tuned, food discerning olfactory glands smell her mother's famous cinnamon oatmeal with toast.

Confused and thinking she is dreaming Veronica stumbles into her bathroom. She is really confused as her bedroom looks remarkably like her bedroom in the house she lived in before Lilly was murdered. She heads into the bathroom and goes over to the sink to brush her teeth. Looking in the mirror she almost has a stroke. Her hair is long but she doesn't have bangs. She looks younger.

She washes her face and looks again when she is more awake and her eyes are cleared of sleep. She looks like she did when she was just starting high school. She looks impossibly innocent. It is her eyes that hold Veronica's attention. They don't look jaded. They don't look cynical. They look…sweet. She looks untouched.

A yell from her father gets her motivated and she steps into the shower.

Veronica walks over to her closet with her hair wrapped in a towel and her pink, fluffy housecoat on. She loves this housecoat. It is so cozy and warm. She had thrown it out after Shelley's party thinking she was no longer the pink, fluffy girl anymore. Now wrapped in its warmth, she realizes maybe she would always be a little pink and fluffy.

With a strong sense of deja vous, Veronica looks through her closet fingering the clothes she used to wear before she became Veronica 2.0; before she became tough and hard; before she was raped; before her life changed after Lilly was murdered.

Oddly, Veronica doesn't know what to wear. She won't feel comfortable in the chaste blouses she used to wear. The skirts are down to her knee and her shoes are impossibly feminine with bows. She stands in front of her closet pondering what she could possibly wear. She finally understands why Lilly was so frustrated with her wardrobe choices and kept trying to get her to try more tight fitting sexy clothes.

Finally she pinches herself to wake herself up. It is her first but not her last pinch of the day.

What was going on? This couldn't really be a prank. These are the clothes she destroyed or gave to goodwill. No one but Lilly would know her closet this well and well Lilly isn't around to prank her anymore.

If it isn't a prank then the only other explanation is she is still dreaming. Maybe she has finally lost it? She's gone crazy. It was inevitable really.

Veronica has to admit though, it is a nice dream. She hasn't thought about the days before Lilly died; before her mother left; before her world fell apart in a long time.

Her dad knocks and then sticks his head in. He notices her looking in her closet and teases, "Can't find anything to wear?"

Veronica looks over at him and notices he is wearing his Sheriff's uniform. She frowns at him and asks, "You still fit that old uniform Dad?"

He looks at his uniform and says, "This is one of my new ones."

She snorts and says, "You quit being sheriff what, three years ago?"

Keith Mars looks closely at his daughter. She seems different this morning. She is wearing her usual housecoat after her shower. Her long hair is in a towel. She usually dries it in the bathroom but today left it wet. Keith decides it is her eyes that are different. She is looking at him with a different almost jaded expression in her eyes. His senses on alert, he asks, "What is going on Veronica? I have only been sheriff here three years. Why would I have quit right after I started?"

Now it is Veronica's turn to look surprised. She frowns in puzzlement and says her voice soft and unsure, "I don't understand. Why is mom here?"

Keith Mars walks in closer to see his daughter. He puts his hand on her forehead and asks, "Are you OK sweetie?"

Veronica looks at her father, her face a mask of confusion. She finally answers, "I don't know Dad."

"You don't feel hot. Is your stomach upset?" he asks a little worried about her behavior.

She shakes her head slowly and then deciding to just go along with what is happening, says, "I guess I didn't sleep well."

A concerned expression goes over his face and he questions, "Problems at school?"

Veronica frowns and not knowing what to say answers, "No just the usual."

Keith ventures, "Problems with Duncan?"

Now Veronica is really puzzled. She questions, "Duncan?"

Hugging her he says a little sarcastically, "Duncan Kane, your boyfriend of almost two years."

Veronica leans into her father's embrace and observes, "This is a really weird morning."

"Did you have a bad dream or something?" he asks, his voice even more worried.

Veronica savoring her father's warmth answers slowly, "I guess."

With a final squeeze, Keith says, "Well, hurry up and get ready for school. I'll drive you."

Veronica immediately tells him, "I can take my own car."

Keith laughs and says, "As far as I know it is still against the law for a fifteen year old to drive by themselves; even if you are the sheriff's daughter."

He looks at her and doesn't see humor in her eyes. It is obvious she is not teasing him.

He frowns again looking at her closely. He questions, "Is this your way of asking again for a car for your birthday?"

He sees his daughter is confused by what he is saying. He adds, "I'm working on it honey." He kisses her forehead and adds, "Your mom made your favorite. Don't let it get cold."

Veronica nods and he leaves shutting the door behind him. Veronica goes back into the bathroom and dries her hair. She heads into her bedroom and chooses an outfit from her closet. She has trouble but finally picks her shortest skirt which hangs just above her knee and a t-shirt she wore before Lilly died. She feels ridiculous but doesn't know what else to do.

Feeling disoriented Veronica leaves her room to eat breakfast. She looks around the upstairs of the house. She was so used to living in the tiny apartment. She forgot what it was like to have a bigger bedroom and her own bathroom. Wandering down the stairs to the kitchen she stops in the doorway and looks at her parents sitting at the table eating breakfast together. They look happy and content together. She had forgotten how well they got along when she was younger.

Finally she walks over to get a glass of orange juice from the fridge and does a double take when she looks at the calendar her mother kept on the fridge. She looks at it closely and asks, "What is the date today?"

Her mother answers absently, "The twenty fifth."

Veronica her voice incredulous says, "Of August?"

"Yes." Leanne answers as she looks at the morning paper.

Veronica continues, "Is the year right?"

Her mother stops reading and looks closely at her. She answers, "Of course."

Veronica clarifies, "I just started my sophomore year?"

She looks away from the fridge towards her parents to find that both of them were looking at her with concern.

Keith looks at his wife and says, "Maybe you should take her to see Dr. Sandoval today."

Shaking herself out of her stupor Veronica says, "I'm fine."

She reassures her parents, "I'm just having trouble waking my brain up this morning." Quickly she walks over and sits down at her spot at the table.

She gets another surprise when Back Up scratches at the door to be let in. She was looking around the kitchen in wonder when her mother got up to let her dog in.

He immediately ran over to be petted by Veronica. She looks at him in surprise. She had almost forgotten what a cute puppy he had been. He was so clumsy and eager when he was young. Veronica enthusiastically pets her dog and then tastes her oatmeal.

Blissfully she savors the flavor and tells her mother that it had been so long since she had it.

"I guess so long is Sunday," her mother says teasingly.

Keith laughs and says, "You and you appetite. Eat up kiddo. We have to go."

Veronica nods and finishes her oatmeal and toast in silence. She listens to her parents talk about when Keith would be home from work and what her mother had planned for today.

In almost a daze Veronica finishes her breakfast and goes back upstairs to brush her teeth. She takes a moment and pinches herself again as she looks in the mirror at her reflection.

Was it possible that the whole nightmare of Duncan breaking up with her, Lilly getting murdered by Aaron, her family's fall from grace, her mother leaving, her rape, everything was just a dream?

It seemed too real and so detailed to be a dream.

Her father's call forces her to push her thoughts aside for now. She picks up her books which are sitting in a neat pile on her desk. She walks back out to the kitchen and goes with her dad to the sheriff's car.

He drove her to school. During the drive she looked around noticing the changes in the town. She remembered what Neptune looked like in her dream or alternate reality or whatever was going on with her. She noticed the old buildings that were torn down and thought about the new buildings that would be put up. She looked up the street at where Mars Investigations was in her dream. It was now a lawyer's office.

As she walked into the school she noticed the changes. There was no memorial fountain to Lilly Kane and she noticed teachers that had left the school as she walked down the hallway. Everyone looked so much younger.

One of the biggest changes she noticed was everyone was nice to her and she did not get the mean comments or looks.

Veronica walks down the hall towards her locker and sees Logan standing there. His dark hair is spiked and the tips are blond like he wore before Lilly died.

Love and happiness bubbled up inside her and she ran over and hugged him. Surprised at her enthusiasm he tentatively hugged her back. Veronica knows Logan must be surprised at her actions. They weren't really touchy feely friends back then. He was Lilly's boyfriend and she was dating Duncan. They weren't really close friends until later. Well he is Lilly's boyfriend and she is dating Duncan. It is very confusing trying to decide if she is in the past or the present.

She frowns because if it is the end of August, then Duncan will be breaking up with her soon. But if her memories are just a dream then maybe Duncan won't break up with her. She is very confused.

So much was running through her head that she didn't realize she was hanging onto Logan until he made some sarcastic comment that she decided to take him up on his offer to use his body or some other such nonsense.

Smiling at the sarcasm she associated with him over the years, she looks up at him noting how handsome he looks with his narrow hips, tight abdomen, defined chest, broad shoulders, perfect face with kissable lips and those brown sinful eyes. She had forgotten how hot he was as a fifteen year old. She thinks about how wrapped up in Duncan she had been and how since Logan was off limits because he was dating Lilly she hadn't really looked at him that way. Today he is wearing tight jeans and a brown polo that exactly matches his eyes.

Veronica ponders how much more she liked his body in college. He really grew up well. In college he had developed and had broader shoulders and those wonderful six pack abs that she liked to run her hands over when they were making out.

She is brought back to the moment by Logan's questioning voice, "Veronica?"

She looks into his eyes and notices he is looking at her in surprise. Veronica guesses he is surprised because she normally didn't check him out so thoroughly.

She pauses in thought again because he really does look fine.

Just then she looked up the hallway and spotted Lilly walking down the hall towards her. Veronica watches and is reminded how Lilly saunters looking very much like she owned the place.

She hugs Logan again and then rushes over to hug Lilly. Lilly is alive! Veronica pulls back and looks at her friend. She looks amazing in her short skirt and low necked blouse. The outfit was so typically Lilly. It is almost inappropriate for a high school student but Lilly has no problem wearing it.

Veronica wraps her arms around her best friend and hugs her tightly. She is warm and she smells like Lilies; her favorite perfume.

Lilly absorbed the impact of her best friend running towards her and then hugging her tightly. Although she doesn't mind the hug, she is puzzled. Veronica is normally a reserved girl even though they are best friends.

Lilly hugs her friend back and then when Veronica shows no sign of wanting to let her go tries to pull away. Veronica pulls back and looks at her friend and says, "Lilly I'm so happy to see you!"

Lilly looks at Veronica and sees that she is upset or worried about something. She says, "Of course you are Veronica Mars. I'm fabulous."

Veronica looks at Lilly and feels tears rush to her eyes. She is fabulous. God she missed her so much. Her life wasn't the same without her best friend.

Lilly's eyes narrow as she sees the obvious emotion in her best friend. Before she can ask her about it Veronica looks over and sees Duncan.

Her look of surprise at seeing her boyfriend of two years makes Lilly wonder what is going on with her friend. She is hugged tightly again and then is unceremoniously let go of. She watches while Veronica rushes up the hall to hug her boyfriend.

Lilly turns and closely observes her best friend and brother hug. She sees that Duncan is happy to hold his girlfriend but Veronica is hugging him like she hasn't seen him in years instead of since dinner last night.

Veronica holds Duncan tightly. She has not seen him since he left with baby Lilly to Australia. She hugs him happily and he hugs her back. He leans down to kiss her and she keeps the kiss very light. She is a little repulsed to kiss him. She doesn't feel like that about him anymore.

Veronica pulls away. She looks over at her three friends. Tears come to her eyes. She can't believe they are all standing there. It is so wonderful to see them without the trauma of Lilly's death between them.

She quickly tells them she forgot something in her locker and rushes off. How is she going to explain her emotions this morning to them? She pinches herself as she walks. This has to be a dream. It's a great one but it can't be real.

Veronica goes to the locker she had in sophomore year. Luckily she remembers her combination and she is able to open the locker easily. She looks at the schedule taped up in her locker and gets out the books she needs for her classes before lunch.

**

Veronica sits on her bed and thinks about her day at school. It had been a real trip down memory lane for her. She had looked at everyone remembering how they all looked back then and how much they changed through the years.

Her head is spinning from all she has seen today. She is not sure what is going on. She has a strong feeling that her dream was more than just a dream. The feelings and memories she has are too vibrant; too real.

She had sat quietly beside Duncan at lunch and had watched Logan and Lilly fight. They were broken up again. She had winced at how abusive their verbal shots to each other were. Veronica thought about how in her dream Lilly had been seeing Weevil. Veronica watched her best friend leave the quad and had noticed that Weevil had discretely left the quad out another door around the same time. Veronica had excused herself to go to the bathroom and had followed Lilly. She found that Lilly was meeting Weevil. Was it just a coincidence that in her dream or altered reality Lilly had been seeing Weevil and now Lilly was with him?

Deciding to check out some of the other things from her dream, Veronica had gone to the library and looked at the yearbook for the year her mother, Celeste and Jake Kane graduated. Sure enough her mom and Jake Kane had been queen and king of the prom.

Veronica found the deaf cafeteria lady and asked her if her mother had ever been suspended. She was not really surprised to find out she had been.

Veronica had found Cindy Mackenzie in the computer room and had talked with her a few minutes. She asked where she lived, about her family and found out her birthday. She learned that Mac was a vegetarian as well. Mac had been shocked that Veronica wanted to talk to her but had put aside what she was doing to answer Veronica's questions.

Veronica had asked her who the IT guy was and had smiled when Mac told her the school board hired a new IT guy. He was French, young and very handsome.

Mac had been very surprised that Veronica knew her cell number. She asked how Veronica knew it as she just got her first cell phone. Without explanation Veronica had given Mac her home and cell number and had rushed off telling her she would talk to her soon.

She had run into Mandy on the way to class and had asked her if she had a dog. Mandy was a little overwhelmed that Veronica who was Duncan Kane's girlfriend and Lilly Kane's best friend talked to her but she did show her pictures of her new puppy. She had named him Chester.

Veronica found Luke in the hallway and had dragged him over to a quiet area. She asked him if he knew a trainer at the Neptune Gym named Hank. Luke had paled and then had asked Veronica why she wanted to know. Veronica immediately knew that Luke was already taking the steroids and probably close to agreeing to sell them or was already selling them. She had poked him in the chest hard and few times telling him he is crazy to get involved with steroids. She told him she could see the signs in him that he was taking steroids and she was so disappointed in him that he would deal the poison to others.

Veronica had not seen him but Logan had been walking up the hallway and had seen Veronica drag Luke to quiet part of the hallway. Curious, he had followed. He'd watched in awe as she poked Luke in the chest a few times and had her hands on her hips practically yelling at him. She had walked off furiously leaving Luke standing behind looking at her with his mouth open in shock.

When Logan questioned Luke about what was upsetting Veronica, Luke had shaken his head and told Logan that he had to go. He had headed quickly to the gym locker room area.

Logan left behind had pondered the weird confrontation. He wondered what was happening with Veronica. She was acting so strangely today. First she had hugged him and then looked at him like she wanted to jump his bones. Then she had got mad and shouted at Luke. Veronica never got mad.

At lunch she had obviously not been happy to see Madison, Susan, Carrie or Kim. In fact she had been a bit of a bitch to them. It was funny but weird. She had been very excited to see Meg though. She had hugged her and Meg had looked really surprised at how excited Veronica was to see her. Finally Logan was concerned that Veronica was really not interested in Duncan. Logan had watched them carefully and had seen Veronica had almost recoil when Duncan tried to kiss her. That wasn't like her. Something was up with her.

Veronica had bowed out of going to the Kane's house with Lilly. She had watched Lilly drive away after dropping her off at her house. Part of her wanted to stay with Lilly and never let her out of her sight. The other part of her needed time to process all she had seen and done today.

When Veronica got in the door of her house she had not been surprised to find that her mother was not home. She had gone to the fridge and opened her mom's water bottle. She'd taken a small sip and spit it out in the sink. Just like in her dream, it was vodka.

She looked around the house and found that her mother had bottles of liquor stashed in various places around the house.

Veronica played with Back Up in the back yard for a few minutes and then went to her bedside and pulled out her diary. She read her last few entries and realized that she was back in time a month before Lilly died. She remembers writing a lot of entries after the last one. In fact she had started her diary on her computer only when she had saved enough money and bought one about a year after Lilly was killed.

Thinking about how to find out if her dream was in fact memories of the past, she dug out her mother's cell phone bill and copied down a few of the numbers on it she didn't recognize. Her mother paid the bills so Veronica doubted that her father would even look at the cell phone bill.

She had gone next door and asked her neighbor if she could borrow her phone. She told her that their phone was not working and she wanted to call her father. She did not want to use her cell phone or the house phone to find out who her mother was calling. When left alone she'd called a few of the numbers on the list off her mother's phone bill. One was a liquor store. The second was one of her mom's friends. Veronica told her it was a wrong number and hung up. The third rang to voice mail and was Jake Kane's personal cell phone.

Veronica had gone back and looked at the cell phone bill and wrote the times and dates her mother called Jake Kane on a piece of paper. She then looked in her diary and many of the dates coincided with times her mother had gone out with her 'friends'.

She had called the telephone company and had identified herself as her mother stating that she had a couple of questions about the minutes used on her cell phone. After giving the account number and her mother's maiden name and social security number, she had been given the latest information on what calls her mother had made. She had made a call today to Jake Kane and the liquor store. Veronica wishes she was old enough to drive. She wanted to go and check the Camelot Motel and see if her mother was there.

Veronica went to her room and sat on her bed. So many things from her dream were true in this reality. It was impossible for her to know the things she knew unless her dream was what would happen in the future.

She had sat in thought. Was it possible she could change this reality? She had her full memory of Lilly's murder investigation and the different guys she found out Lilly had been sleeping with. She knew about her mother and Jake Kane. She knew about Aaron. She realized that Lilly had not yet slept with that monster. She prayed that she could change things; especially the horrible thing that had so drastically changed the future for everyone.

She thought about what to do. Finally she decided to go about things as if she was in the past; as if she was given this wonderful opportunity to change things; as if she could right all the wrongs that had been done.

She went into her drawer and took out her emergency fund. She called Meg and asked her if they could go shopping. Meg had been surprised but agreed to come over after cheer leading practice to go to the mall with her.

While waiting for Meg, Veronica made a list of all the things she had to do before Lilly was murdered.

Things to do before October 3:

1. Genetic testing

2. Talk to Mom about her drinking.

3. Stop Logan from getting whipped. She remembered a couple of dates that Logan had been beat and had marked them down

4. Copy tapes from the pool house

5. Help Lynn Echolls, somehow prevent her suicide

6. Become Logan's friend. .

7. Stop Aaron's affair with Lilly.

8. Get Cassidy the help he needed

9. Get Woody Goodman jailed.

10. Teach Dick to be a better brother.

11. Break up with Duncan.

12. Get Lilly to be serious about Logan or get Logan to realize he didn't need Lilly.

13. Turn Lilly around from her self destructive path.

14. Help Meg with her parents.

15. Make friends with Mac.

16. Break up her mother's affair with Jake

17. Get Hank the trainer arrested for steroids.

18. Help Casey deal with his parents.

19. Help Mac deal with her birth swap.

20. Stop Mr. Rooks from taking advantage of students

21. Stop the IT guy from taking advantage of Pam.

22. Teach Madison not to be such a bitch.

23. Stop the guys at the pound from stealing dogs.

24. Get to know Weevil; warn him about Thumper

25. Get Dad to check into the Hearst Rapists

26. Get Tim Foyle away from Hearst College.

27. Talk to Dad about the serial killer who uses the music studio

Veronica looks at her list and realizes it is really long. She had a lot to do.

Veronica wonders how long she would be allowed to stay in the past. She thinks about it for a few minutes and decides to separate the list into a criminal and a personal list. Then she rewrites both lists prioritizing what needed to be done in case she was taken away before she got the whole list done. Satisfied with the new lists, Veronica turns her attention to her closet. A lot of these clothes had to go.

***

I had so much trouble writing this part.... the mixture of the past and present caused me a lot of grief grammatically wise...... Please forgive any errors. My head is spinning from trying to keep the proper tenses when writing in the mixture of the past and present.