Disclaimer: No, I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Merely borrowing.

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who read, reviewed and added this to their alerts and favorites, it means a lot (: Remember me saying this would be a two shot? Well, turns out it is way too long for that, so it's going to be split up into 3 or 4 chapters. But that's it. I was supposed to keep this short, though I have to admit, Mark/Lexie and a dose of Jackson is far too addictive to stick to only two chapters! Anyway, let me know what you think! (:

"I need a drink."

Jackson smirks when he hears Lexie's familiar squeak and before she can order, he slides over her regular that he had kept ready for her.

He knew she would arrive, sooner or later.

Their meetings at Joe had become quite a regular occurrence.

Neither of them knows why or how exactly it began, but nearly every night after their shifts, they found themselves sitting at the bar, talking about everything from her relationship problems to his childhood.

Lexie smiles as she slides onto the barstool next to him, and for the first time that day, it is a genuine smile. Taking a sip, she looks at him and groans slightly. "I don't know what to do." Looking down at her drink, she sighs and then quietly asks, "Do you think I should take him back?"

At first, he doesn't react. His face is calm and it appears that he is in deep thought. And then he says, "If it's what you really want then, yeah. Take him back."

His answer doesn't seem to satisfy Lexie and she frowns. "I-I don't know what I want. I don't know anything anymore." She stirs her drink aimlessly, the red straw slipping easily through her fingers, before she asks, "What would you do? If your girlfriend cheated on you, what would you do?"

Jackson shrugs and takes a swig of his beer. "It depends."

"On what?"

Looking down at her, he shows no emotion as he silently analyzes her. "On if I really love her," he says, his voice low. "If I could see a future with her, waking up every day to her and only her…If I could see that, then I'd forgive her. If I thought that what we had really was true then…" He lets himself trail off and when Lexie averts her eyes from his, he smiles gently before taking another swig of beer. "It's up to you, Grey. If you think you can handle it, then take him back. Take him back and forget about it because if you keep thinking about this, it's going to eat you alive."

"And we wouldn't want that," Lexie responds darkly, a slight pout forming on her lips.

Jackson chuckles and smirks. "No, we wouldn't." They sit in silence, each of them sipping away at their drinks, before Jackson announces, "You need to talk."

Lexie frowns and her words are fumbled as she responds. "Oh, sorry. I just thought…I just…Had nothing else to say."

"Not to me," Jackson says as he laughs. "To Sloan. You need to talk to him."

The thought causes Lexie's heart to lurch and immediately she shakes her head. "No."

"Grey…"

"I can't."

Jackson rolls his eyes. "You're being dramatic."

"I don't care!" Lexie shakes her head again and quickly takes a drink. "I can't do that. I-I, I can't."

"You've been avoiding him for weeks. You need to talk."

"But–"

"Lexie," Jackson says, his voice stern. "You've been bitching and moaning to me for ages and you know, with any other girl I would gladly listen because listening guarantees sex but with you, the sex isn't going to happen so unless you talk to Sloan and sort this shit out, it means I've been wasting my time and I hate wasting my time." Finishing off his beer and slamming the bottle down on the bar top, Jackson turns and looks at Lexie defiantly. "Talk to him. Now."

So many things rush through Lexie's mind at once and before she has time to process each one, she blurts out, "Why isn't the sex happening with me?"

This catches Jackson off guard and instantly, he frowns at her. "What?"

Lexie shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. "The, the…er, the sex," she says, her cheeks now flaming red, and there is a voice in her head that is telling her to stop talking–to stop talking right now, stop it, stop it because you're just digging yourself a hole–but she's already started and if she stops now he will think more of this than it really is.

Lexie clears her throat awkwardly, and nervously asks, "Why won't the sex happen with me? I-In any similar situation the sex would have happened by now but, but why not now? Why, why…" When she catches him glare at her, Lexie stops and groans in dismay.

Jackson watches as she covers her face with her hands and when she mutters an apology from behind her hands, he takes another drink from his beer. When Joe passes, he indicates for another bottle. "Lexie," Jackson starts, his voice low, careful and calculated. "Are you asking me why I haven't had sex with you?"

From underneath her hands, her tiny voice squeaks, "No."

Shaking his head in disbelief, a small smile quirks the end of his lips. Lexie Grey certainly was different from any another woman he had met. Granted, she was slightly crazy and neurotic but over the last couple of weeks, Jackson has found himself warming to her stutter and inappropriate outbursts.

"I don't know why I haven't slept with you." He glances at her from the corner of his eye and adds, "Maybe it's because I'm crazy because you certainly aren't bad to look at, Grey."

Despite the fire that tinges her cheeks, Lexie ducks her head and murmurs another apology. "I'm sorry, that wasn't appropriate, I don't know what comes over me at times." Sighing, Lexie runs a hand through her hair before she looks at her watch. Her shoulders slump slightly and she begins to stand up. "I better go."

Jackson waits until Joe has placed his beer down on the counter before he turns to look up at Lexie. "Are you going to talk to him?"

"I don't know," Lexie sighs as she gives a halfhearted shrug.

"You should."

She avoids eye contact when she replies, "I know."

Jackson nods slowly, a knowing smile on his lips, before he turns back to his drink. "See you tomorrow, Lex."

"Yeah…" Lexie stares at him for a moment, watching in silent fascinating as his muscles flex when he raises his beer bottle to his lips. Quickly averting her eyes, Lexie grabs her bag from the counter and slips it onto her shoulder. "Bye, Jackson."

Mark doesn't know what to do when he opens his door, ready to shout at whoever is on the other side, only to see Lexie staring at him. Of course, she looks stunning with rosy cheeks and messy hair and bags underneath her eyes. Mark opens the door wider and for a moment, words escape him because he is too busy taking in everything about her. Everything he has missed. The way she holds onto the strap of her bag and shifts her weight from either leg in an agitated manner, the way her eyes are large and nervous and reveal everything that she is feeling despite her best efforts to stop that from happening.

Fuck, he's missed her.

"Hi," he says, his voice slightly raspy. He is about to continue when her soft voice stops him.

"Can I come in?"

He jerks out of the way and mutters a quick, "Yeah…Sure."

Mark watches as she walks through the door, careful not to touch him. She stops in the middle of the apartment, and he knows she is taking in everything about it, noticing that despite the lack of her presence, nothing has changed. Hopefully, Mark thinks as he shuts the door, she will realize that nothing has changed because he doesn't want to get rid of her. He doesn't want to erase anything, because he still wants her.

And now, maybe, he could have her.

Mark scratches the back of his neck nervously and asks, "Er, can I get you…"

"I'm fine."

Mark shouldn't be surprised by her sharp voice. "Okay." He stares at her, momentarily lost in her presence before he moves forward. "How…how have you been?"

Lexie doesn't turn around when she shrugs. "Honestly?" She asks, her voice low. "I feel like crap, Mark." Lexie takes a deep breath before she turns around, her arms firmly crossed over her chest. Her head tilts to one side as she stares at him and whispers, "You?"

"Similar."

They stare at each other, neither blinking, until Lexie abruptly nods. "Good," she says, determination shining through her voice. "Good."

"Lexie…"

"No," Lexie says quickly and she unfolds her arms, allowing them to drop to her sides loosely. "I want to do the talking."

Mark nods and he dimly registers the fact that they are still standing in the middle of his apartment. He wants to invite her to sit down but instead he merely replies, "Okay."

"Okay," Lexie repeats under her breath before she looks at the floor. "Okay…" Licking her lips nervously, Lexie suddenly looks up at him and tries to keep her eyes from showing the pain that still eats away at her when she chokes out, "You cheated on me."

And finally, with the words hanging between them, it becomes real.

Images flash before them and Lexie can see the hurt shine through him when he shakes his head in dismay. She used to think seeing the pain and regret would instantly wipe away her anger, but being here now, it only proved to intensify the lingering hate for the man in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Mark says, keeping his voice low and with the raw emotion showing like open wounds, they both knew he was speaking the truth; they both knew he meant it but something was still holding Lexie back.

It couldn't be this easy.

Nodding her head slowly, Lexie carefully murmurs, "Right." She lets out a sigh as she avoids eye contact with the man in front of her. "Right, of course you're sorry."

Realizing that his chances of reconciliation are slipping before his eyes, Mark desperately tries to hold on. "Lex, please," he says, his body moving forward instinctively. "Can we talk about this?"

Lexie looks up at him, unshed tears in her eyes as she shakes her head. "I thought I could do this but–" Her voice breaks and she lets out a shaky breath, trying to regain control over her feelings. "I can't do this. I-I'm sorry to have bothered you…"

When she tries to move past him, Mark reaches out, his hand grabbing her arm. "Lexie, stop," he says quickly. Thankful that she doesn't try to remove her arm from his grip, Mark moves closer to her, his body looming over her small frame. Slowly, softly, his fingers run down her arm as he mutters, "Stop, Lex. I need to speak to you. Please."

Lexie swallows the lump in her throat as her eyes flutter close at the feel of his fingers running over her arm. It feels like years since he had last touched her, held her, made love to her and right now, that is all Lexie wants. Right now, it doesn't matter that he hurt her and bruised and shattered her heart because right now, he was here and he was ready and perfect and really, what was stopping her?

But then, as always, the voice at the back of head reminds her that she can't do this, she shouldn't let her body control her life.

She deserves better than him.

Supposedly.

Lexie shakes her head slowly as she shakily asks the question that has been lingering at the back of her mind. "You still consider her a friend, don't you?" The question lingers between them and Lexie nearly laughs as his silence speaks for him. Of course. What did she think? He would stop seeing her; he would stop looking to her for advice and comfort when he most needed it?

Lexie shakes her head again and she whispers, "I don't think I can handle it." And at first she isn't specific because really, she can't handle any of this–his relationship with Callie, her feelings for him, his feelings for her.

But Lexie lets out a breath and tries to focus on the first reason. "I-It's stupid really, and selfish, but I can't be with you knowing that you're still friends with her and that's probably never going to change because she's your best friend and there's nothing I can do to stop that and I'm sorry I'm being selfish but…" She trails off when her throat begins to constrict and it's harder for her to breathe steadily.

"I just can't do this, Mark," Lexie whispers. "I thought I could, but I…it-It's too much."

Mark shakes his head at her defeated tone and moves even closer to her, his feet touching hers, his head lowered close to the side of her face. "I miss you," he whispers and unable to control himself any longer, Mark carefully places a kiss to the spot right below her ear.

With her eyes closed, Lexie's eyelashes flutter slightly when she feels his lips brush against her skin. "Don't," she murmurs, and unsurprisingly, her voice lacks her determination from earlier.

Mark uses this to his advantage. "I miss you so much more than I thought I would," he mutters against her skin as he trails his lips down her neck, pressing soft kisses along the way.

"I miss talking to you," he whisper as his kisses the underside of her jaw. "I miss waking up to you." His arms move to wrap around her waist before he presses his body against her. Mark places kisses along her chin, inching slowly up towards her lips before he pauses, his lips resting at the corner of her mouth, when he whispers, "I miss everything and if I could take it back, I would, Lexie, because I love you, I love you so much."

It takes her a moment to control the thumping of her heart and the racing of her mind, but eventually Lexie lets out a shaky breath and her whisper falls against his lips, "Don't do this, Mark."

She is about to pull away from him when Mark suddenly turns and before either realizes what is happening, his lips are on hers and instead of stopping, Mark pushes forward, his lips moving swiftly over hers.

Luckily, she responds.

Her mouth moves over his and with a new desperation she clings to him, clings to the familiarity and the lingering hope between their lips.

For a brief moment it is as if nothing happened. He hasn't slept with Callie and she hasn't been nursing a broken heart because he's touching her, his tongue moving with hers and it causes her heart to clench in relief because this is what life should be like, this is what she wants, needs, craves and this is what she deserves.

For thirty seconds, it is as if nothing else exists except for them.

But then, as usual, the world comes crashing back, her memories tormenting her, shouting at her not to do this to herself, her common sense punching her into action.

And so Lexie shoves him away, her hands forceful against his chest.

Mark stumbles, and stares at her for a moment and it breaks his heart to see the tears slowly trickle down her porcelain face. "Lex," he says quietly, unsure of how to get out of the bigger mess he had made.

"Don't."

Her voice is sharp despite it being heavy with tears. She stares at him, her eyes glassy and wide, and the fire is back, a small, dull flame behind her eyes, but it is there and Mark knows he should be careful.

"You can't keep avoiding this," he says, his voice as broken as his heart.

Lexie lifts her head a fraction higher as she replies, "I'm not."

"You haven't been near me in over two weeks, Lex." Mark shakes his head as he sighs, "You turn around when you see me in hallways; you duck into closets when you think I'm not looking. You're avoiding me and damn it, I want this to stop."

The fire behind her words is evident as she snaps, "Well, this isn't about what you want."

Mark lets out an aggravated breath. "You can't hold this against me, I've said I'm sorry, what more do you want?"

And finally, Lexie snaps. Her words vibrate through the room as her arms lash out as she shouts, "I want you to mean it!"

Unable to control his anger, Mark screams back at her, "I do!"

"No, you don't!" Lexie seethes, her shaky finger pointing at him as she shouts, "If you really meant it, you wouldn't still be friends with her! Don't you see she's caused enough hurt already?"

Mark shakes his head automatically. "Don't blame her, Lexie; I was a part of this too."

"Well, I know that," Lexie spits out with a roll of her eyes. Letting out an aggravated sigh, she shakes her head and waves a hand at the door behind him. "Look, let's just let this go, okay?"

"You're just giving up?"

His voice is a mixture of astonishment, disgust and regret, and suddenly Lexie has the urge to punch him in the face. "Yes," she says as she stares at him, her steely gaze not leaving his.

Mark lets out a noise of disgust as he crosses his arms over his chest. "I never pegged you as a quitter."

Lexie rolls her eyes and as she brushes past him, she mutters, "And I never pegged you as a cheater because unlike everyone else, I had more faith in you." When she reaches his front door, Lexie turns around and stares at the man she still wanted but knew she could never have. Her anger is evident when she says, "I never believed the rumors, Mark. When I looked at you I didn't see a cheater or a player, I-I just saw Mark. I believed in you."

The tears are back in her eyes but Lexie blinks them away and instead focuses on the hurt that is burning through her body. "I put everything into our relationship. I defended you and I trusted you and you know what? It was all for nothing. I thought you were different, I really thought you were different now, but I guess people were right. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Hearing the words from her once beautiful, innocent mouth proves to be too much for Mark. Instead of recognizing that she was upset and in pain, Mark concentrates on the hatred that resides at the pit of his stomach. He doesn't know if it's Lexie, Callie or himself that he hates, but that doesn't matter at the moment, because all he can do is feel the anger squeeze his chest until he snaps, "Just leave, Lexie. Just get the fuck out of here and come and talk to me when you've calmed the fuck down."

With her jaw clenched and her eyes burning, Lexie looks at Mark for one last desperate moment before she lets out a shaky breath and turns around and opens his door.

She doesn't bother looking back.