Disclaimer: No, I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Merely borrowing.

A/N: Okay, so this is a bit long but honestly, Jackson/Lexie just flows so well. But don't worry, I'm still a die-hard Mark/Lexie fan (which will, hopefully, show more as this goes along!) Anyway, thanks for all the alerts and reviews, I appreciate the feedback! Let me know what you think! (:

When Jackson arrives at Joe's, worn out from working 38 hours straight, all he wants is to get drunk because during those tiring 38 hours, only one of his patients lived. It's pathetic and now, all Jackson wanted was to get rid of the images of the ones who had fallen on his watch. He needed to get their pale faces, splattered with red and dried tears faces out of his mind, the sobs and groans and beeping still floating through his mind despite the loud noises that clung in the air of the bar.

When Jackson arrives at Joe's, what he doesn't expect to see is Lexie, slumped against the bar, three empty whiskey tumblers littering the counter around her. Jackson sighs and walks up to her, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyes up his friend.

"Lexie…" He starts, his voice low as he leans in, and watches as she brings the glass to her lips. He watches as she winces when the clear liquid touches her tongue and Jackson assumes that she's drinking vodka, or something equally lethal to a lightweight like Lexie.

Sighing, Jackson takes a seat next to her and as he watches her, it becomes obvious why she is drinking. "I'm assuming the talk didn't go well," he says as he indicates to Joe for a beer.

Lexie grunts slightly before she shakes her head slowly. "No, it didn't," she says quietly, and as he watches her Jackson realizes that she is shaking.

"Come on." Leaning closer, Jackson reaches out and carefully pulls the glass away from her.

Lexie watches as Jackson shakes his head at Joe who has placed a beer on the counter. Looking up at him, Lexie frowns, trying her best to concentrate. "What are you doing?" She mumbles, when he takes her by the arm.

"Taking you home."

Lexie makes a face to show her disagreement and pulls away from him, nearly falling off her stool in the process. "No," she grumbles, before reaching for her glass again, only for it to be pulled away by Jackson.

"You've had enough, Grey," Jackson says sternly before trying to get her up again.

Defiantly, Lexie pulls away from and hits Jackson on the forearm. "Leave me alone."

Jackson stares at her for a moment, slightly bewildered by her actions, before he sighs. "Fine," he barks. "Have it your way."

Lexie frowns when he takes a step back and turns away from her. "Wait," she mumbles under her breath. When he continues to walk away, Lexie raises her voice, "You're not meant to leave!"

Jackson looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head. Lexie Grey was going to be the death of him. Unable to resist, he slowly turns around to see Lexie sitting straight on her stool, her chest sticking outwards slightly in order to keep her balance. "Fine," Jackson says gruffly as he walks back to her. Taking his seat next to her, he firmly says, "But you're not allowed to drink anymore."

Lexie nods and raises her hand in mock salute. "You got it, boss."

Jackson rolls his eyes and he is tempted to grab the beer that Joe has left on the counter but instead he focuses on Lexie. "So, what did he say?"

The question causes Lexie's shoulders to slump and she quietly says, "My heart hurts."

"Sloan said that?"

If she wasn't in so much pain, Lexie would have laughed. "No," she mutters as she shakes her head. "I'm saying it. My heart hurts. Everything hurts. So much."

Jackson eyes Lexie for a moment before he sighs and calls after Joe, "Give her another."

Swaying slightly, Lexie lets out a long sigh before she mumbles, "I didn't think it would hurt this much. I mean, seeing them together, seeing her touch him and kiss him, I-I thought that was it you know, that was all it needed for my heart to, to break because that hurt, that hurt so freaking much." Lexie pauses when Joe places a drink in front of her and fumbling slightly, she takes a long drag from it before sighing and waving her arms around when she squeaks, "B-But then, I talked to him and, and he just completely broke my heart again because he's still with her!"

Lexie pauses again to take a drink before she blinks forcefully. "Not with, with her but they're still friends. Friends! That lying, cheating, lesbian is still friends with that, that lying, cheating, manwhore!" Lexie tilts slightly to one side when she blinks and her eyes remain shut. "It hurts so much," she mumbles miserably.

Jackson lets out a heavy sigh before he moves closer to Lexie so that her head now rests on his shoulder. Looking down at her, when Jackson sees that her eyes are closed, he takes this as his opportunity to slowly edge her drink out of her reach. Picking up his own beer, Jackson takes a drink before he contemplates what to say. Nothing he said would really make a difference so Jackson settles on a phrase he has been repeating frequently to Lexie.

"I'm sorry, Lex," he says quietly to her as he wraps an arm around her waist.

"Me too," Lexie says in her dejected, tiny voice.

This causes Jackson to frown. "You didn't do anything wrong. Sloan's the dick."

Lexie lets out a groan before hauling herself off Jackson. Yet again, she waves her arms in the air as she stresses, "I trusted him. I-I got sucked into his, his stupid lies and, and bed and I-I shouldn't have believed him!"

"You couldn't have helped it, Lex. You love him," Jackson reasons, in that reasonable-sensible-I'm-smarter-than-you tone that Lexie hated.

"No," Lexie states as she shakes her head frantically. "I loved him. I loved him. Love-d, love-d…love-d him. Hear that d noise? Because, it's the past tense. Past tense."

Jackson quirks an eyebrow at her but decides not to make fun of her. She was drunk, after all. "So," he starts as she drops her head back onto his shoulder. "You're really telling me you can let go that easily?"

Lexie shifts so that she is face down on his shirt before she mumbles, "Yes."

"Uh-huh," Jackson drawls, not believing her. When Jackson hears Lexie groan, he rolls his eyes and sighs. "Okay, you've definitely had enough for one night." At first, he tries to slide his shoulder away from her but when Lexie grunts and wraps her arms around his waist, Jackson sighs again. "I'm taking you home, Grey," he says sternly as he looks down at her. "Now get up."

Lexie only squeezes him tighter.

"Grey," Jackson starts. "I said get up. You're going home now."

Lexie is silent at first before she lets out a growl and rips herself away from Jackson. Holding up one finger, Lexie points at him, her eyes squinted, before she suddenly shoves her finger into his chest. "That's another problem!" She says, and with every word, she jabs him in the chest with her finger. "I don't even have a home. No-one wants me; no-one ever wanted me."

Her words would have held more weight, Jackson thought, if she wasn't stabbing him with her finger and completely wasted. Rolling his eyes at Joe who passes by with a raised eyebrow, Jackson looks down at Lexie and mutters, "Drama queen, much?" When Lexie doesn't respond, her eyes firmly fixed on his chest, Jackson stands from his seat and grabs onto Lexie's hand.

"Lexie," Jackson says as he tries to pull her up but even drunk, Lexie remains stubborn and doesn't move from her seat. "Lexie, are you still staying with Meredith?"

"Yes," she replies as she tries to push Jackson's hands away. Eventually, she gives in and lets Jackson pull her up from her seat and stumbles slightly into his chest. Groaning into his t-shirt, Lexie places both of her palms on either side of his chest and grunts, "Though she doesn't want me there, not really, because she's all look at me, I'm happily married and I know what I want with my life because I have McFreakingDreamy and, and who wants the depressed spinster there?" Slamming her head into his chest, Lexie moans, "I'm going to be alone forever."

"Hey," Jackson murmurs as he wraps his arms around her waist. "You're not going to be alone forever."

Pushing her head away from him, Lexie looks up at him with narrowed eyes and a pout on her lips. "And how would you know that? Do you even have a girlfriend?"

No, he didn't, because it seems that the woman he wanted didn't want him, and Jackson really didn't need reminding of that fact. Pulling away from Lexie, he fishes for his wallet only for Joe to raise his hand and mouth the word 'tab' and point at Lexie. Nodding his head, Jackson focuses on Lexie, who resting heavily against the bar. Holding out his hand, Jackson asks patiently, "Where does Meredith live?"

Lexie shakes her head and refuses his hand. When she pushes herself off the bar, she sways and slumps back against it. Looking at Jackson's hand, she rolls her eyes and slaps her hand against his. As he pulls her out of the bar, Lexie says loudly, "You're lonely just like me, you know. You don't even have a girlfriend, I mean at least I had someone, so he cheated on me but it was something but…" Lexie stops and shakes her head as she bumps into someone on her way through the crowded bar. Moving closer to Jackson, she links her arm in his and states, "We're going to alone forever, we can be alone together!"

Finally, they reach outside and Jackson quickly pulls her towards his car. When Jackson abruptly lets go of her, Lexie frowns and slumps against the car. She is about to ask him what's wrong when he turns to her and places his hands on her thigh. "W-W-What are you doing?" She asks, though she doesn't stop him from patting her thighs.

Jackson would laugh at her worried look if he wasn't concentrating so hard. Finally locating what he wanted in her jacket pocket, Jackson pulls out her cell phone and holds it up triumphantly. "Taking your phone," he says easily before he begins to scroll down until he hits Meredith's name.

Quickly dialing the number, Jackson waits patiently for Meredith to answer before he clears his throat and says, "Er, hey, Meredith, this is Jackson. Lexie's with me, she's been drinking and I need to take her back to yours but she's not really in the right state to give me directions, so I was–" When Meredith interrupts, telling him she'll come and get Lexie, Jackson rolls his eyes and stresses, "No, it's fine, I can bring her back. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure," Jackson repeats sternly and sighs, which causes Lexie to giggle next to him. He smiles slightly when Meredith begins to give him the directions, "Okay, okay, yeah, I think I'll remember. She will be. Bye."

Flipping the cell shut, Jackson places it back into Lexie's pocket and takes her hand again, easily pulling her away from the car. "Come on darling," he murmurs gently as he opens the passenger door and slowly ushers her in.

Resting her head against the headrest, Lexie sighs as Jackson buckles her in. Just as he is about to pull away from her, she places her small hands on his forearm and says in fascination, "You have really big arms." Slowly, she moves her hands over the exposed skin before muttering, "Like Mark."

Slightly annoyed that he was being compared to that dick, Jackson grunts and removes his arm from Lexie's reach. "Wonderful," he mutters before standing up and shutting the door before rounding the car and opening the driver's door. Once in, Jackson starts the engine and glances at Lexie who is staring at him with her usual wide eyed look.

When Jackson raises his eyebrow at her, Lexie narrows her eyes slightly as if she's come to a silent conclusion about the man in front of her. As they begin to drive in the direction of Meredith's house, Lexie says quietly, "You're sarcastic like him. But…your eyes are prettier."

Jackson doesn't know why, but thinking that Lexie regards him as somewhat pretty causes his stomach to lurch in a good way. Without looking over at Lexie, Jackson replies simply, "Uh-huh."

As the minutes go by, Lexie closes her eyes and leans into the warmth of the car chair. Then, without opening her eyes, she asks quietly, "Jackson?"

He doesn't respond immediately as he focuses on remembering which turning led to Meredith's house, but after he takes the correct turning, Jackson responds just as quietly, "Yeah, Grey?"

A soft sigh escapes her lips before her broken voice whispers, "Is it always going to be like this?"

He doesn't even need to think about his answer.

"No," he whispers as he pulls up in front of Meredith's house. Turning off the engine, Jackson looks over at Lexie's still body, her breaths coming out deep and even, and he smiles softly. Leaning over, he gently pushes a stray hair away from her eyes.

For her sake, he hoped he was right.

The next morning, Lexie stumbles into the kitchen, her eyes red and puffy. When she sits down next to Meredith, she slams her head on the kitchen table. "I feel like crap," she grumbles into the table, her dry lips rubbing against the wooden surface.

Meredith nods before taking a sip from her coffee. "You look like it, too."

"Thanks," Lexie grumbles before slowly pulling herself up.

They sit in silence, Lexie occupying herself by pouring a mug of coffee and groaning every thirty seconds.

Finally, Meredith asks, "Are you going to talk to him?"

It doesn't take a genius to realize who she is referring to.

Lexie's voice is like stone when she replies, "No."

"Lexie," Meredith sighs and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "Derek said–"

And before she has the chance to finish, Lexie walks away.

Loudly throwing a file onto the table, Derek takes a seat opposite Mark. "Talk to her."

Immediately frowning, Mark looks down at the work in front of him and grumbles, "I tried."

"Try harder."

Mark rolls his eyes. "Yeah, thanks for these pep talks, Derek, they really help."

Derek sighs and leans forward, his forearms resting on the table. "She's miserable, Mark. You know that and I know that but she won't admit it." When Mark says nothing, Derek adds, "You're as stubborn as each other."

Mark shakes his head and looks up. "Hey, I tried to talk to her," he says defensively which causes Derek to raise an eyebrow.

"She was the one that came to you."

"And then she was the one that refused to work through this shit," Mark barks. Suddenly aggravated by the conversation, he closes the file in front of him and growls, "She was the one that gave up."

Derek stares at Mark, unable to believe that his best friend could be such an idiot at times. "You haven't gone to see her," he reminds him, his voice showing his slight disbelief over the situation. "Now who's the one giving up?"

When Lexie opens the door to see Mark staring at her, she is momentarily shocked. But then, the shock wears off and there is nothing left. There is no anger, no hope, or wanting. Lexie shakes her head, her tiredness showing as she murmurs, "No."

Lexie is about to shut the door when Mark quickly places his hand on the door frame, his body leaning forward. "Don't," he says, his voice only slightly stronger than hers. "Don't."

Lexie stares at him before her eyes slowly move to look at his hand, large and overbearing next to the faded paint of Meredith's doorway. "You have your hand on the door frame."

"Yes."

She sighs and shakes her head slowly. "I can't shut the door unless you remove your hand." Her eyes flick up to meet his before she firmly states, "Remove your hand, Dr. Sloan."

He leans in further. "No."

For what it's worth, Lexie doesn't move back. She lets him lean closer, allows his shadow to overcome her because although she wants him gone, the familiarity of his body so close to hers seemed to make this situation better.

But, Lexie reminds herself, she must not get caught up in him.

Not again.

"Mark," Lexie says, her fatigue evident. "I don't want to have this conversation."

He shakes his head slightly and smiles without humor. "Too bad."

Something snaps within Lexie. For once, couldn't he just do what she wanted?

"You said to come and talk to you when I've calmed the fuck down," Lexie says, sudden venom in her voice. Her stare is hard when she states, "I haven't calmed down."

She is about to close the door when Mark moves closer, his foot inching towards hers. "I changed my mind," he says airily. Mark watches as she glares at him and he gives her a weak smile. They both know he is treading on thin ice, but Mark realizes that if he doesn't try everything now, he'll only regret it.

"Can I come in?" His voice is soft, and it reminds Lexie of better times–times she wished she could forget, but knows that her mind and heart and body will never let go of.

She wants to let him in.

Or at least, she thinks she wants to.

But then, there's that voice again, whispering at the back of her mind, at the bottom of her heart, in a dark, forgotten corner.

He'll cheat again, you can't trust him, don't trust him, you deserve better than this, he deserves better than you, you know that, he knows that, but he won't leave you alone, you're attracted to him, some sick addiction that you know you should kick.

Kick him, get rid of him, don't do this to yourself, don't, don't, don't.

And suddenly, Lexie has the strength to look Mark directly in the eye and say, "No."

Perhaps she doesn't mean it and perhaps she will regret it later but for now, Lexie shakes her head and with clear determination says, "Move your hand."

Of course, Mark doesn't think she is being serious.

"No."

Lexie sighs heavily and states seriously, "It'll get squashed."

Mark gives her a half shrug, "I'm fine with that."

She shuts the door.

Lexie is sitting alone at Joe's, waiting for Jackson, when she notices Derek across the room sitting with…

Her heart sinks at the sight of his leather jacket and painfully defined cheekbones.

She would ignore him; Lexie decides and proceeds to look up at the cracked ceiling instead. She could do this, so they were in the same bar, so what? She had slammed his hand in the door last night, she was above him, she was better than him, yeah, she was better than him!

No, Lexie really wasn't convinced.

Sighing, Lexie looks down at her beer bottle and begins to peel away the label as she tries to not think about Mark freakin' Sloan. She had better things to think about. Medicine, Lexie thinks triumphantly, yes, medicine and surgeries and helping people was a lot more important than stupid, cheating Mark Sloan.

But then, as usual, the image of being in the OR manifests into being in an On-Call room with Mark and once again, Lexie is back to the beginning.

Somehow, Mark had scratched himself into her so deep that Lexie couldn't–and probably never would–get rid of him.

Sighing in defeat, Lexie takes a sip from her beer and then turns her head when she feels someone stop next to her. Looking up, she smiles when Jackson greets her and leans down to pull her into a quick hug. "Move up, then," he says cheerfully as he places his beer on the table.

Once settled, Lexie skips formalities – they had become too close friends for her to have to be polite to him – and launches into the story of what had happened last night, how Mark had come to see her and how she had sent him away and how that was a bad decision.

"I-I didn't know what to do," Lexie says miserably as she taps her fingers against the table restlessly. "And where the hell were you today? I'm surprised I didn't explode today from not telling you sooner and–" Lexie breaks off and covers her face with her hands. "I slammed his hand in the door. Oh God, I could have broken his hand."

A smirk quirks the corner of his lips and Jackson shakes his head slowly. Although he knew he should be taking the situation seriously, Jackson couldn't help but find Lexie's genuine concern and nervous manner amusing. Slowly, he brings his drink to his lips and murmurs, "I think that's a little bit of an exaggeration, Grey."

Lexie shakes her head frantically, before taking a long drink from her beer. Her eyes are wide when the words trip out of her mouth. "It's probably bruised. God, what was I thinking?"

"He got his hand out, right?" Jackson asks and when Lexie bobs her head in conformation, Jackson shrugs, "So, it's a bit bruised, I'm sure he'll live."

Pulling away from her straw, Lexie licks her lips nervously and says thoughtfully, "I guess. But…Maybe I should have let him in."

Her statement lingers in the air between them and Jackson is tempted to tell her that she is wrong and stupid, that she should never let him in because he deserves to suffer after what he did to her, but he knows she doesn't want to hear that. So, like the good friend that he is, Jackson shrugs and says lightly, "Maybe."

Lexie nods in agreement before she stops and sighs, "B-But I don't know what I would have said to him…"

"You could have let him talk," Jackson suggest reasonably. "He probably has something prepared."

Lexie is silent at first but then it sinks in because of course Jackson was right. Mark definitely had a speech planned, a list of reasons of why they should be together, a list telling her why they should fight for their relationship. Of course, Jackson was right. "Probably," Lexie responds as she slowly nods her head. Biting her lip, Lexie pauses before nervously asking, "Jackson?"

"Yeah?"

Lexie doesn't respond immediately, obviously struggling to find the right words, but then she blurts out, "Is it wrong that I enjoyed slamming his hand in my door?"

Jackson laughs and it makes Lexie blush bright red. "No, Grey," he chuckles before he raises his bottle. They clink their bottles together in a toast before Jackson smirks, "He hurt you, this was just a bit of pay back."

Mark stares at her from across the room, his eyes determined, his hand firmly attached to the whiskey tumbler in his hand. His eyes narrow slightly and he lets out a breath.

He could do this.

It was simple.

Get up, go over, talk.

Simple.

"Okay," Mark announces before finishing off his drink. Slamming down the glass, he continues to stare at Lexie when he states, "I'm going to talk to her."

Derek watches Mark before slowly turning his gaze to Lexie. "Good," Derek replies with a short nod.

"Okay," Mark mutters as he watches Lexie sitting alone, nursing her beer bottle. "Okay…"

Rolling his eyes, Derek nudges Mark slightly. "You're going to have to move, you know."

Mark nods absently, sudden nerves biting away in his chest. "Yeah," he grumbles. "Just…Give me a moment."

The sound of the door opening and closing goes unnoticed to Mark as he stares at Lexie with determination. He was going to move. He was going to get up and talk to her, tell her that she was wrong to think he didn't still love her and that he wanted her, wanted her so badly that just looking at her made his heart constrict in pain because this was too much, how could he be with her every day at the hospital but never actually be with her? He was going to put a stop to this. Really, he was going to move right about–

Why the fuck is Jackson fucking Avery touching Lexie?

Mark nearly crosses the bar to punch him square on the jaw when Jackson invades his view of Lexie, the man standing next to her seat, his body leaning over to hug her. Mark's eyes narrow when the hug finishes – it lasted far too long for a just friend's hug in Mark's mind.

Sudden anger grips him as he squeezes his drink tighter. "What's the deal with them?" Mark grunts as he glares at Jackson who is now completely obstructing his view of Lexie.

Derek frowns and looks around the bar. "With who?"

"Avery," Mark spits, the name burning its way through his tongue and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Oh," Derek responds in surprise. Shrugging, Derek offers, "I guess they're friends…" When he looks over and notices Mark's jaw clench, Derek sighs and asks weakly, "Are you going to talk to her?"

They both know the answer before Mark slams his drink onto the table and grunts.

"I changed my mind."