Hey. Wow, so I haven't updated in about 3 months. But, you know, here it is!
Half of Day Five
Rikku sighed her exasperation as another bolt of thunder illuminated her tent. She wanted to cry, scream, or jump around, but she couldn't decide which, and by the time she did, she would be out of time. She glanced around her tent. Her clock read 4:30. Which wouldn't have been a problem until she got to the part that said AM. She had been so exhausted these past few days mainly because she couldn't sleep through an entire night. Especially since the rain and thunder got really loud around dawn. Something about that time.
She had decided to be kind and let Gippal sleep in today. They hadn't gotten back from trekking out to the final lightening tower until around one o'clock. Gippal had decided randomly to start working backwards. Soon, they would end up next to camp again. Rikku was wondering if they would be done by the end of the week. She shrugged and pulled out a small cardboard box of cereal. She ripped it open and tipped it over into her mouth. Fruity Pebbles. Only the best.
When she finished her cereal, she tugged her hair up into a wispy ponytail. She worked up her courage, and then poked her head outside.
Nothing happened. Except the rain pelted down on her. Hard. But it felt like the thunder had just… stopped. She hesitantly crawled out and stood hunched over, untrusting of the sky's calmness. She then felt a dull rumble under her feet. Something in her head told her to run right back into her tent. But her feet wouldn't listen. Her knees buckled. Her hips stiffened. She stared wide – eyed in apprehension at the sky. She knew it was coming. The rumble under her feet was getting loud; she could feel the vibrations in her bones. The electricity was building up quickly, and painfully slow at the same time. Rikku felt like she was in slow motion as the lightening finally struck out.
She shrieked as the bolt hit the ground just feet away from her tent. She could feel the electricity pop near her skin, she could taste it in her mouth, she could smell it. Electricity was something that she lived by. It was her biggest fear and her best friend. It empowered machina. It made her feel small. It made her life easier. It made it harder. She loved it when she could control it. She hated it when it was wild.
She retreated into her tent in a flash and hid her head in her pillow. She could taste the tears in her mouth. She was crying from fear and frustration. She could have been hit by that bolt. That's all she could think about. How she could have been hit by lightening and nobody would be there to save her that time. No one would get a doctor to save her. She'd be alone. But then there was her frustration. If she didn't get over her fear of lightening, she would be off the team. She would have to stay home and do nothing like Brother always said she should. Cid would have mixed feelings about it. He would probably think she would have more of a chance of getting married. But that was Cid. Of course he would. He lives in a medieval state of mind. She wouldn't see Nere anymore. That was half of the reason she was out there. Partly to prove to him that she could do this. That she wasn't afraid. And partly to assure herself that she would be able to keep seeing him. She wasn't sure how she would feel if she didn't see him anymore, but she knew that it wouldn't be something she could just brush off her shoulder. She knew she would miss him.
Which set her off on all these other thoughts. She had been suspecting long before she had come there that this was all just a small crush. Nothing major. But then what was the feeling in the pit of her stomach when he had kissed her? Maybe it wasn't just a crush. But she didn't suspect it was much more. Rikku wasn't one for those star-crossed lovers or any kind of dramatic love story kinds of things. Fantasies were not something she was swayed by. She tried to look at life as maturely as she could. Even if she did have an incurable obsession with monkeys. Cid had told her many times not to grow up too fast. But how was that possible when it was considered immature to try not to grow up too fast? Rikku felt surrounded by the word "mature". Just like she was surrounded with "perfect". She really didn't want to be mature. But she had to. It was something mentally required of her.
Which also drove her out onto these plains. She needed to overcome her fear. Because fear is something that the team saw as the trait of a child. Rikku knew they were all afraid of something. But they were all better at hiding it. For her, they used the stupid excuse that girls are just not cut out for working on machina. Pah. As if they were better than her. She could dismantle a machina and put it back together in 5 seconds flat. She eventually brought her face up and wiped away the tears on her face. There's no way that I'm going to be over this by the end of the week.
She started to hum a song. Any song. Something that would take her mind off of it. She finally chose the song of the fayth. It calmed her, even though the song of the fayth wasn't something that Al Bheds were particularly supposed to listen to. She stared at the tent. She willed her legs to move. But every time she felt the jolt of her mind telling her legs it was time to get up, her mentality yelled back at them to stay where they were. No way for her to get hurt if she didn't move right?
Right… no way to feel better either. This was impossible. If only there was some way she could just forget that she was ever afraid of thunder. Then, there wouldn't be this problem. She felt anger flooding in her. She wanted to scream. She wanted to do something before she exploded with every emotion she had in her mind. She finally burst out of her tent and squeezed her eyes shut as the rain pelted on her face. The ground was rumbling with a challenging air about it. The sky was gathering its electricity for another bolt to come crashing her way. It had missed the first time. It had resolved to not let it happen again. Rikku clenched her teeth and her fists. She turned her face up to the sky and felt the rain hit her skin harder.
"I hate you! I hate you sky! I hate you thunder! I hate you rain! I hate you! You've ruined everything! I'll never get to work with machina again and it's all your fault!" She sank to her knees. "I hate you…," she mumbled pathetically. Her eyes were hidden in the palms of her hands. The sky rumbled in reply. She frowned. It was as if she had conversations with the thunder. She insulted it, and it released its wrath. She gave into it and… well, it wasn't much different. She would definitely need therapy. She considered waking Gippal up. She looked at the clock. 6:30. He'd be awake by now anyway. He was an early riser. She poked her head out again. She didn't bother to look in the mirror at her reflection. She already knew her eyes were red from crying, underneath them it was all puffy. Basically, she didn't look attractive at all. But who cares? It was Gippal.
She ran as fast as she dared to Gippal's tent. Loud cracks of thunder urged her on. Urged or threatened. She finally got there after what felt like she was in syrup or slow motion. Then, she quickly unzipped it and jumped in, zipping it closed behind her. She sunk down and closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath. She opened her eyes to see Gippal staring at her with a half amused half worried expression. She tried out a smile. She knew it looked entirely fake. He was sitting up in his sleeping bag. He didn't have a shirt on. He never slept with one on. But something looked different. Suddenly, he furrowed his eyebrows and reached next to him, hiding his face from her for a moment. She saw him slip his black eye patch on over his right eye.
"What's wrong?" Gippal asked her as he looked back up. She took a deep breath.
"The thunder… it almost got me," she whispered in a cracked voice.
"Want a hug?" he asked, holding his arms open to her. It was odd to her, but she crawled over and allowed herself to be encased in his arms. She didn't try to hug him back. She just wanted to be warmed. She rested her head against his bare chest and listened to his slow heartbeat. It slowed hers a bit as well. "Feel better?" he asked as he released her. She grinned weakly and shrugged.
"A little," she said. He smiled at her. She felt better just from that.
"So, what's the first thing you're gonna do after you get home?" Gippal asked her, settling back down into his sleeping bag and tugging his thermal shirt over his head.
"Make out with Nere," Rikku said with an impish smile.
"Yuck," Gippal said, tossing his pillow at her. She caught it and put it in her lap, wrapping her arms around it. She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Just because you don't have anyone to make out with doesn't mean you have to take it out on other people," she said to him.
"I could always make out with you," he said, raising his eyebrows to her.
"Yes please," she said temptingly. He started to crawl towards her. She leaped away quickly. "Kidding! I was only kidding!" she yelled. Gippal laughed and leaned back down. He then pulled his blanket over his face.
"I don't want to go to work today…," he moaned. Rikku pulled the blanket off his face.
"Well, you gotta. Because you're eighteen. And you have a job now because of that," she said. He tugged it over his face again.
"I've only been eighteen for a week," he said.
"That doesn't change the fact that you have to have a job."
"Only if you're an Al Bhed. I wish I was just a regular Spiran," he mumbled. Rikku sat back on her knees, a stunned expression on her face.
"Are you ashamed to be Al Bhed?" she asked. He sat up, a cold expression on his face. Rikku recoiled mentally a bit. She hadn't seen an expression like that on his face before. It made him look more intimidating than ever.
"Don't ever say that. Why would I ever be ashamed of being Al Bhed?" he asked.
"I don't know. You sounded like you don't want to be," Rikku said in a hushed voice. She stared at her hands.
"Sorry… it's just… sometimes it bugs me the way people treat us," he said.
"That's okay. Me too," Rikku said. She looked up at the top of the tent. "So, I was wondering… how can you stand working at the Machine Faction?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're always so wired, so how do you stand working there? I mean I know that you guys never travel unless it's really important. So, what's the deal?"
"Well, I need money. It's the truth of it all. It doesn't matter whether I like my job or not. As long as it pays the bills, then it's alright."
"Oh. Well, I won't be like you. I'm going to travel. Maybe I'll be a sphere hunter or something like that."
"You don't get money for being a sphere hunter! You'll starve!" Gippal said in disbelief.
"Watch me! I'll be the best sphere hunter you've ever seen! You'll hear about me all over the place." Gippal smiled.
"You know Cid's Girl…" he started.
"What?"
"I… I really hope I do," he said, turning his eyes to hers. She watched him for a minute.
"You're making fun of me aren't you?" she asked.
"No, I mean it!" She grinned, satisfied.
"You will. Just you wait," she yawned and settled down onto his sleeping bag. "I'll be the most famous sphere hunter ever. Because I'll find… some big secret in a sphere. And I'll save Spira. Yup. And you'll see me on TV and you'll get to say, 'Hey I know her!'" She felt a cover fall over her lightly. She snuggled up to it. Then, she felt Gippal's lips touch her cheek lightly. They were a shock, but not completely terrible. It was sweet.
"I know," he whispered in her ear before leaving the tent.