The Perfections of Imperfections
Chapter 5
Sora wasn't sure why he was uncharacteristically grumpy.
It might be because after his small outburst putting the idea of Roxas and he being friends, the brunette hadn't seen the blonde for a week or so.
Or it might be because the sting of embarrassment from that situation was getting to him.
Or it might be the fact that the famous prom was taking place around Sora at that very moment, and Sora's puzzling hopes and expectations that had built an excited air around the evening earlier had no chance of happening now (not like he wanted them or anything…maybe) because the blonde those thoughts so feverishly smothered was no where in sight and hadn't been the entire evening.
Screw it, Sora half hissed to himself because he knew his mood was the reaction to all of those reasons.
The brunette, adorned in a dark ocean blue suit and black tie, stalked from the crowded, heated hall and to the slightly emptier wide corridor directly outside the hall.
Keeping his quick stride and destination in mind, Sora gave half hearted smiles to the giddy groups of people lounging and laughing on the sofas in the large corridor and pushed through the swing doors.
A crisp cloud of air met his frown and Sora felt himself woken up (slightly). He stood in a calm silence for a long moment, scowling into the orange light that illuminated the back doorway. But soon a sigh tumbled from his lips as he stretched his neck to meet the surprisingly dark sky.
He spotted a few sparkling stars and a small smile twitched the corner of his lips. Sora hadn't realized how quickly the night had been going. And sure, he was enjoying himself, how could he not? He was with all his friends, every one was happy, music was good… but still, it would be just that tiny bit more (that person) that would make it perfect. Even if he had shown up. Bastard.
Another sigh escaped his lips as Sora wondered how something so dysfunctional and imperfect as what ever relationship he had with Roxas could make anything perfect.
Just then, a faded burst of high pitched laughter caught the brunette's ears. Peering through the orange light he caught sight of a group of people sitting on a small wall across the car park. Shutting out his own thoughts, he listened to the group and realised they were mumbling and (now) quietly laughing with each other. Sora squinted further through the light and dark and recognised the people sitting there, Pence was definitely there, Naminé, a brunette girl and… Hayner, maybe?
Feeling his heart pick up in a rush of adrenaline, the teenager scanned the group again.
Maybe he was standing behind the group or he was just a little further in the dark or…
The brunette mentally slapped himself. He had been doing that a lot lately; reminding himself of boundaries and obsessing and the possibility of a restraining order if he kept this up.
But just as Sora's cobalt eyes gave the group one last glance of finality, a blonde head of curving spikes emerged from behind the small wall with a smile even Sora could see from this distance. A matching grin broke out on the brunette's face as he watched Roxas hop over the wall, dust himself off and straightening his askew suit.
"SORA!" The echoed call from across the car park brought said boy back to reality.
Focusing his dazed eyes on the rest of the group, Sora noticed Pence waving him over and without a moment's hesitation the brunette was happily striding over to the group.
As he (nearly) skipped across the empty car park, enjoying the refreshing breeze on his flustered cheeks, Sora considered what he could do.
He could act pissed at the blonde. After all what kind of friend avoids the hell out of someone or lets them worry the crap out of themselves for the other person? But then again what kind of friend holds a grudge?
And to be honest, Sora wasn't sure if he had it in himself to deliberately ignore someone and be rude to them.
So, walking over the small patch of grass to approach the group, Sora decided to not decide on anything and enjoy the relief that Roxas had actually came.
"Hi, Sora!" Pence delightfully greeted, giving Sora a warm smile although the round boy's greeting was left hanging because as Sora joined the group his eyes met no where but Roxas' and only once he had realized the silence, he dragged his gaze from the blonde's wide amused blues.
"Hey everyone!" Sora grinned to the group, suddenly feeling frivolous and dizzy from the rush bubbling in his stomach.
"Roxas just fell off the wall and into the bush!" Hayner pronounced, laughing openly at the spiky haired blonde.
Sora took the opportunity to add Roxas' outfit to the list of things he knew about the blonde; grey suit, dusk red tie, patch of dusty dirt on arm…
"I'm sure someone pushed me!" Roxas jokingly sneered back with that famous, irritating half smile.
"Pfft." Hayner huffed back.
Sora consumed himself entirely in the exchange between the friends, feeling his grin widen at just the thought of seeing Roxas again.
"It was pretty funny, Roxas." Naminé giggled, giving him a small push.
Only now remembering other people were here, Sora realized something about how Naminé had said the blonde's name and that contact made his stomach twinge in uncertainty.
Roxas merely rolled his eyes with a small curve upwards of his lips. Sora felt his own lips match.
"So how is it in there?" Pence asked, nodding to the doors which led back into the prom hall.
Blinking and rearranging his thoughts Sora answered, "It's great. Good music but a little crowded so why are you guys out here?"
Roxas answered, giving Sora another chance to look at those clear eyes, "Our group prefers quieter areas." The blonde finished the sentence with a small smile.
But Sora wasn't letting the conversation end yet, with his heart racing, palms moist, nerves destroying any thought he had he eagerly asked, "So that's why I never see you about school or in the common room?"
The brunette momentarily regretted his use of 'you' and not 'all of you' but Roxas was answering before a frown could meet Sora's expression.
"Yeah, we prefer to go outside for lunch." He nodded, "More space." Roxas then, with his clear blue eyes still connected with Sora's, gave a heart warming entire smile. And Sora, too succumbed by Roxas, grinned back.
"But you really should you back inside, the prom is inside." Sora tired, hoping he was convincing the rest of the group too despite only giving his attention to the blonde sitting on the small brick wall, "Plus," An excited grin curved his lips, "I'm sure you won't fall into any hedges in there."
"I didn't fall!" Roxas retorted, still fully smiling, eyes animated, "I was pushed!"
"Let's go inside, guys. We're missing prom just because we like our space." Hayner said, dismissing Roxas' accusation and glares.
"Yeah and it's getting cold." The brunette girl added as she joined Hayner to march across the empty car park with the rest bouncing behind of the two, leaving Sora and Roxas still at the wall.
Sora adored the situation in nerves and joy for a small moment (a moment long enough for the rest to get back inside) as he tried to keep a smile from cracking his expression and keep his eyes busy from Roxas. He attempted thinking about Riku and Kairi probably dancing with each other to distract himself but he wasn't sure he wanted to be distracted.
"Are you gonna go inside?" Sora piped up, scratching the back of his neck in anxiety at the blonde's silence.
With a long sigh and an even longer rise of his eyes from his shoes, Roxas looked to Sora and gave a nod.
The blonde, ruffling at his spikes and suddenly very quiet, walked alongside Sora in the dark cool evening to the bright orange lit doors while Sora noted that they he and Roxas practically the same height.
"So, Sora," Hearing his name, the brunette's chest swelled agreeably and his ears rang, "Are you going to the after party?"
"Yeah," Sora smiled, feeling the tingly buzzing thought of the after party race through his mind, "Are you?"
Roxas nodded, looking straight ahead to the prom doors.
The warm air radiating from the stuffed prom hall hit the two boys the moment they entered the hallway again. And suddenly, a smile and nod later Roxas and Sora had separated from each other and returned to their close friends.
But with the thought of his friend and himself both going to the after party and both extremely likely to get drunk, still very much alive in his mind, Sora couldn't remember how it was possible to be grumpy.
Everything was hazed, no: sparkly, no: funny, no: hazed (wait, what?), no: glowing! That's it, everything was glowing. Nice and glowingly like.
Sora's fingertips, lips, cheeks, arms all tingled in a blissful numbness. He grinned as he bit his lip and confirmed the numbness. Standing up, sluggishly but somehow fluidly, the brunette swung his beer down his throat. His vision blurred briefly and his ears rung but Sora pushed on, smiling and hugging people on his way.
The room was warm. Who's house was this' again? There was Roxas! Blonde shiny hair, big eyes…
"OI." Sora heard himself say despite the smile he knew he was smiling, "You…" Why was the floor so wobbly? The brunette felt words dry up in his mouth when Roxas looked to him with a full drunken grin and dazed eyes. He swallowed another mouth full of beer as his stomach twisted in anticipation making him laugh and spill some of the liquid on the floor.
"Oooohhh." Roxas hummed pointing to the floor and then Sora, everything was funny and fuzzy and freaking fantastic and …. Sora lost his thoughts.
"Wha?" He slurred to Roxas as he swayed. Roxas smelled so nice…
"You came to me." Roxas gave a bubbling laughter and Sora admired his joyful expression.
"Roxas!" Someone else was talking to him. Blonde girl, what's her name? She likes him, Roxas, my best friend, Sora internally huffed.
Music is playing, it's good, great, too quiet though-
"-wanna go outside?" The words Naminé said to Roxas. Sora was sure he heard them.
Roxas was suddenly crystal clear, interesting as ever.
"Yeah, why not?" Roxas laughed, stumbling outside, blonde girl following.
The numbness suddenly turned to static energy and Sora, bewildered by anything at this point because Roxas was gone, felt that familiar bundle of unfocused energy build in his stomach and the direction it seemed to fit was the annoying blonde who had just left.
Sora was suddenly outside.
The moon was big. A little too big.
The brunette squinted at it, energy ever growing.
"Sora!" Sora smiled at the voice that called his name and swung around to face Naminé and Roxas.
"Hiya, best friend!" Sora exclaimed, happiness filling him, as he bounded to the garden the two were sitting in.
"We should be best friends!" Roxas called suddenly enlightened as he watched Sora by his side on the cool grass.
"We are!" Sora proclaimed leaning into Roxas, adoring the second of contact; it convinced Sora Roxas was real.
But then, something happened or something and… something or… it was glowing, hazy, drunkenly glowish hazy. And Naminé said something, Sora guiltily didn't pay much attention to her, Roxas, the person who should be president of interesting was here!
Sora looked to Roxas. Roxas looked to him. Sora felt confused, Roxas looked it too. Naminé left, was her tone annoyed?
Alone with Roxas, Sora felt that strange unfocused ball of energy inside of his stomach pulse.
"…Roxas…?" Sora slurred, looking at the moon.
"What?" Roxas replied.
"You're weird." Sora sighed, lying back onto the grass.
Roxas laughed, Sora memorized the sound through his sudden sleepiness, "You're the weird one." Roxas hiccupped and looked down at Sora, "But I still w-wanna be your bestest , thatsnotawordright? Yeah, I still wanna be your best friend."
Sora knew he was smiling although he couldn't feel it.
The grass was soft. It felt like a hundred million mattress, all fit for a king or the head of Microsoft or something…
"Do you feel it?" Roxas suddenly asked, his breath making a little cloud, he looked down to Sora, eyes drooping.
"Eh?"
"In my stomach, you…make it…" Roxas tried, he looked frustrated, no: confused, no: like he was trying to solve a rubix cube.
"What are you saying?" Sora yawned.
Then, Roxas stood up. Sora was up a second later laughing to himself partly due to the head rush and the realisation he would follow his best friend anywhere.
"Whatya doin?" Roxas asked, brow dropped.
"Ima coming with you, Roxas." Sora grinned, stepping towards Roxas, "Now, smile!" At that Sora's numb fingertips pushed the corners of the blonde's lips upwards. Roxas gently pushed the giddy brunette's hands anyway and joined his laughter.
The bundle of energy within Sora seemed satisfied at the moment as it tickled his insides.
But the atmosphere changed.
"You ignore me." Roxas' voice wasn't the laughing one anymore, Sora couldn't remember the word he was looking for as he looked into Roxas clear eyes.
"No, Roxas, I don't." Sora happily corrected him.
"Well, we hardly talk, we hardly talked that, that, remember that day w-we met?" Roxas was still not smiling.
Sora nodded.
The atmosphere changed again.
But this time due to Sora: the bundle of energy inside of him pulsed an angry, annoyed beat: all the emotion he had been dealing with since the first second the brunette had seen Roxas.
"You…why can't you just…" Sora noticed the drop in his own tone as he placed an arm on Roxas' shoulder for support, "…tell me everything?"
Roxas laughed, Sora ignored the tickle in his stomach from the sound.
Ruffling the brunette's spikes, Roxas smiled, a half smile, and Sora's stomach fell.
"Don't." Sora mumbled to Roxas' half smile, edging closer to the blonde, "Y'know …why we aren't best friends?"
"Why?" Roxas asked, eyes waiting, half smile still lingering. Nice eyes.
"Because of …you." Sora stated, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I bet you don't wanna be my friend or anything…"
Roxas stepped back, where did all the humour in his expression go?
"Me?" Roxas spat, "I'm trying but you have too many friends…"
"Oh, don't give me that crap." The energy was looking for a way out, Sora knew his body couldn't hold it anymore and the only way it could get out and to its source, Roxas, was by voice…or fist.
"S-shut up, Sora." Roxas drunkenly hissed.
Sora still liked the sound of his name on his best friend's voice.
"No." The brunette simply put, voice with an edge, "I don't even… know why you are talking to me right now, you will probably never again or something…"
"You could try harder!" Roxas snapped, taking a step forward.
Sora rolled his eyes, teeth clenched, fists tight, ready to fight.
Something hit Sora's back, no, wait, Sora's back hit something, a wall? Dizzy, dizzy. Roxas was in front of him, nose an inch from the brunettes.
Roxas had a nasty glare. Sora felt a pang of pain as he felt the glare pierce his eyes but god, did that attention fuel him to the brim. Sora tried to move but felt firm hands holding him against the wall. He glowered at the blonde.
All the unwanted energy, emotion, confusion, irritation this blonde had brought him was suddenly pumping through his veins.
The undirected emotion kept him from struggling as it locked down on Roxas.
Sora's heart thumped as Roxas' hot breath met his neck, he could smell whatever he, himself had been drinking that evening too and it made his vision blur or was that Roxas that did that?
A change again. Warmth shot through Sora's veins.
Roxas' scowl was crumbling. Since when were both of them breathing so heavily? Shifting, Sora felt Roxas' grip through his shirt.
It got warmer again. What's happening?
The music is back, lips are numb.
Lips? Roxas was looking at the brunettes. Sora looked at the blondes.
The best friends (wait, that's wrong, right?) edged closer. Roxas breath hovered on Sora's. Eyes meeting, world hazing.
Sora could feel his own half-lidded drunk gaze ask the same questions Roxas' eyes were asking.
"Roxas?"
"If you don't…feel it… I might just…" Roxas' voice was low, eyes lowered.
Sora felt Roxas' chest meet his own, his heart swelled, his knees weakened.
He swallowed, tongue swiping over his own lips.
Sora felt that ball of energy purr inside of him as Roxas moved closer. The hazed emotions sparked and Sora wanted to hit, shout, laugh, shout again, hug Roxas, punch Roxas, touch Roxas' hair, push Roxas onto the grass, get very far away from him, get the closest he could be to the blonde. He wanted Roxas all to himself.
But this wasn't normal…for best friends. He didn't think about hugging Riku or pulling Riku closer to him so he could feel the other teen's heart beat… so this…?
Sora frowned, he didn't know, he couldn't fully see or remember any other moment in his lift but this. He knew he should be able to but the brunette was far from caring.
"Adunnoknow." Sora moaned, exhausted, as he let his head drop to Roxas' shoulder.
"Me neither." Roxas sighed leaning his head on the side of the brunettes.
Cold air was suddenly swirling around the brunette. He stood alone, Roxas staggering to the house again, he slowly blinked, trying to comprehend what had happened before collapsing against the cement grey wall.
The world hazed (it didn't glow anymore, not one single bit) in the dark, his mind tried to replay the events which had just took place, trying to convince the brunette it wasn't a crazy drunk dream.
But Sora, lying on the cool grass again as though Roxas had left when Naminé had, didn't believe anything his heavy head told him.
Hm.
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Only got like three at most for the last chapter T_T
I really really really do get inspired and write quicker after reading reviews so.. :]
YES btw, the second half of this chapter isn't jst shittly written (just in case you think that X/ ) I was using style to get across the difference between reality for drunk Sora n sober Sora :}
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