So, here is the elusive ch. 3

Here's the question: While the Doctor is in the Hub, what tricks should he get up to? More responses = More chapters so RNR!

Thanks for reading so far and thanks to those who have reviewed it.

Chapter 3

Jack busied himself in the kitchen, trying to rid himself of the erotic sounds the Doctor had been making earlier. He glanced at the knives lying innocently on the counter and considered the possibility of death erasing them. He sighed as every knife in the room disappeared and he received a prompt chastise from the ship.

"I know, I know. I wasn't actually going to but, you have to understand…" He felt the TARDIS give a small chuckle and then happily announced that the Doctor would be in the kitchen in a few minutes.

"I hope he's wearing clothes." Jack muttered under his breath as he spread the strawberry jam thickly over slices of toast with a spoon as the TARDIS was still hiding the knives from him. Briskly, Jack moved about the kitchen finishing up the breakfast preparations before the Doctor appeared. As he was pouring the tea, Jack froze in shock. What could only be described as howling was coming from the hallways, and the thing making the sounds was getting closer. The door burst open and the Doctor slid in singing at the top of his lungs. Jacks mouth fell open and considered the possibility of a personality change. It was the only possible explanation for the strange, well, stranger, behaviour the alien was showing.

Slightly put off by the singing, Jack only barely noticed that the Doctor was sporting a more casual look than usual. Pinstripe pants and converse as usual but the button down shirt he was wearing was rolled up to the elbows and the top few buttons left undone. The Doctors tie was hanging loosely around his neck, drawing Jacks eyes to the pale expanse of skin that was not normally seen.

Letting out a girly squeal, the Doctor practically ran to the table were his breakfast and tea waited for him and hungrily tucked in. Then, almost if he had just remembered something, he glanced up. The Doctors cheeks were stuffed with food and his eyes were wide and sparkling with a mischievous glint. Smirking around his food, the Doctor motioned for Jack to sit down and continued to eat.

Once the Doctor had eaten enough for a small army, he lent back in his chair and stretched extremely, his shirt riding up just enough for Jack to get a glimpse of a pale stomach.

"So, Jack…" the Doctor began, popping the 'k', "Wait… how did I know that name?" The Doctor stared blankly at the man in front of him. He could feel the TARDIS questioning what he was doing and almost yelling at him for making the already worried man even more worried. Said man was staring at the Doctor, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, lost for words. Silently, the Doctor asked the TARDIS to give him his fun, and if anything, if Jack had to "take care of" the Doctor, at least he'd have a more relaxing time that he had been. Sighing, the TARDIS reluctantly agreed adding that she did need to do some repairs.

"You don't know me?" The panicked question snapped the Doctor out of his daze and he focused back on Jack.

"Nope." Simple answers but a not so simple motive.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Kitchen? Chair? Table eating jam?" Jack blinked, the Doctor did indeed have his finger stuck in the jam jar and was scooping it out to like it off his fingers. Jacks eyes followed the Doctors tongue as it wrapped around the digit, loosing himself in mild fantasy before a little hum of appreciation broke him out of his daze.

"Right, um…. I need you to come with me. And just call me Jack, got it?" Jack stood up and hurriedly snatched the jar away from the Doctor, almost dropping it at the sound of protest. He really didn't know how much more he could take of this.

"Are we friends?" The question caught Jack off-guard and his head whipped around to see the Doctor watching him intently with his head cocked cutely to the side.

"…Yeah" Jack said at last, "Among other things." At this, the Doctor frowned in thought. He truly wasn't sure what Jack meant by that. Shrugging, he stood up and then looked expectantly at Jack.

"So? Where are we going? Somewhere without pears hopefully." Jack chuckled quietly to himself; even if the Doctor forgot some things, he still remembered the basics. Gesturing to the Doctor to follow him like one would a child, Jack led the Doctor out of the TARDIS and into the brightly lit Torchwood Hub.

Myfawny glided overhead, letting out a ear-splitting screech as she noticed the two men. Tosh, Owen, Gwen, and Ianto looked up quickly as they heard the unmistakable voice of their Captain. Next to their Captain, was the slender figure of the Doctor. Gwen's eyes flicked between Jack and the Doctor before standing and presenting her hand.

"Gwen Cooper, nice to meet you Doctor." The man she had stuck her hand out to, looked at her, then at her hand. There was a slight pause before his face split into a grin and he shook her hand heartily.

"Am I a doctor then?" He asked looking between her and Jack. "Oh, and I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself… I'm not exactly sure about much right now." He looked at Jack before continuing, "Am I a doctor? And of what, medicine, philosophy, science? Please don't say I'm only a doctor in name and I don't actually do something like, I don't know, English? All they do is sit around and talk about books; not that I don't like books, love them really, just don't like talking about them, spoilers you know?" The Doctor prattled on at speed pausing only to catch a breath and then stopping when he noticed no one else shared his enthusiasm. "Hello?"

"Jack, what they bloody hell is going on?" Gwen asked sharply.

"That's what I want to know. Owen?" Jack tiredly rubbed his eyes and glanced up when a hot cup of coffee was pressed into his hand, smiling he continued. "I need you to run some tests and see if the memory loss is permanent." At this, the Doctor frowned; he might have to give up his game a little sooner than he wanted to but if they were going to run tests on his brain… Then, he saw Owen get up and he giggled evilly in his mind. As soon as Owen was within full view, he started screaming and ran towards the other side of the Hub. Owen froze, Gwen stared, Tosh was looking decidedly concerned, and Ianto looked at him like he was bat-shit crazy. Jack looked at the shaking figure that was the Doctor and then glanced at Owen.

"Doctor…"

"No! I am NOT going near him, not even if you have to drag me over there!"

"The pear is NOT going to kill you!" Jack cried out in frustration. The Torchwood team looked at the shaking, shivering mass to their Captain, head in his hand and muttering to himself, to Owen, who stood there holding a half-eaten pear and looking as shocked as the others.

"You don't know that." The Doctor muttered darkly, eyes glinting in the shadow of a potted plant. "You only say that because you've never experienced death by pear." Sighing, Jack turned to the hidden man and drew his pistol.

"Sorry 'bout this." He smiled as he fired, the loud bang echoing around the Hub. The Doctor's eyes widened in disbelief, Jack wouldn't actually try to kill him would he? Looking down he got his answer.

"Ah…" With that, the Doctor slumped to the ground. Gwen rushed over and checked all his pulse-points, relieved she shot a glare at Jack.

"What was that for?"

"Tranquilizer." At the stunned expressions on his team's faces he sighed and rubbed his face, "Trust me, if you've had to put up with what I have, you would have too. " He walked over to the man, picked him up and carried him over to the sofa. Draping his coat over him, he reached for another cup of coffee and some painkillers.

"Besides, judging from past behaviour, he probably would have hugged me and wriggled if I had gone any closer."

The others raised their eyebrows. Just what had Jack gone through since last night?

Again here is the question: While the Doctor is in the Hub, what tricks should he get up to? More responses = More chapters so RNR!