As Sung By

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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: So, I decided that while I love Puck and Kurt I think that this is not the kind of choice Kurt would make without seriously reflecting on or at least condemning himself for. And I'll warn you, this one is a bit short, but the next will be longer. And don't worry; there will be more Puck/Kurt action soon! Promise. I just wanted to add a little, realist self-loathing to the situation. I hope you guys enjoy. Please Read and Review. Seriously, I need and love to hear your guys' thoughts. And thank you for all the ones so far. P.S. This would've been up sooner, but Fanfiction wasn't working.

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Chapter 9: Scared of Lonely

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me (Beyonce)

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Kurt squeezed his hands around his phone for the umpteenth time that evening. So far he had ignored two calls from Mercedes, four from Finn, and two texts from Puck. The only time he had actually made the effort to answer was when his father called to inform him he would be a couple hours late getting home. Kurt could hear the gruff tone his father used and knew it wasn't because of the extra work, but because he would be missing tonight's Deadliest Catch.

Kurt threw a glance across his bedroom at the alarm clock next to his bed; 5:17. With a heavy sigh he turned back to his Vanity. He still had several hours before his father would be home and honestly he was thankful for the time alone. Today had not been a good day. He thought back over the series of events that had lead him to his current state.

Puck.

Finn and Rachel.

Puck again.

Albeit, it was a short list and it was more a list of names than actual things that had happened, Kurt was still exhausted from the recollection. The small boy did not have enough energy to focus on the specific events. It all pained him too much to think about.

Kurt stared at his reflection in his vanity mirror. He had not changed since school and despite the hazardous day he had endured, his outfit was still as perfect as ever. Not a wrinkle in sight. Even the product in his hair was just now starting to lose its effect. On top of both of those miracles, it seemed his skin had been kissed by an angel over the last week. Either that or the ridiculous amounts of money he spent on skin creams and blemish treatments were finally seeming to be worth it. Still, Kurt was a mess.

Inside he was spinning. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he could still feeling the lingering ache from earlier when he'd practically crashed into Finn and Rachel. Kurt thought back to the apologetic expression Finn had been wearing during the encounter. That was probably why the young quarterback was power calling his phone. But, even though he was sure his friend felt bad for him, it did nothing to help ease his frustrations.

What the hell did Finn even see in Rachel? The girl was pushy, loud, controlling, and you could guide ships through the seven seas with that fog horn of a nose! What was wrong with him?! Why couldn't he see everything that Kurt had to offer? While Kurt could be pushy and controlling, like Rachel, he could also be kind and warm. Not to mention all of his features were small and symmetrical and his sense of fashion was...well, maybe that didn't count so much, considering Rachel totally lacked one all together. Or maybe that made it count more. Kurt couldn't decide.

But in the end, none of that mattered. Finn would never love Kurt. Never even want him. Not the way he wanted Rachel. No matter how audacious an attraction that was.

That brought Kurt to his next train of thought.

For whatever reason, Puck wanted him. And deep down Kurt knew that he wanted him, too. Bad. The only problem was that, Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted Puck out of sheer desire or lust, but something much deeper. Much more pathetic.

Need.

Everyone he knew had experienced some semblance of a relationship or desire. Everyone, but him. And while Kurt Hummel may have been the epitome of confidence and security on the outside, inside he was the same as every other sixteen year old. He was scared, lonely, and unsure. And, though he would never admit it to anyone, he wanted, above all else, to be wanted. To know, if even only for a moment, what it felt like to mean something, anything to, someone.

That's where Puck came in.

Maybe their arrangement wasn't the smartest, healthiest, or safest idea, but even now, hours later when he was locked away deep in his basement-turned-bedroom, he could still feel the tingle Noah's lips left on his. He could still feel the way Puck's boulder-sized arms had snaked around his waist and he had held Kurt against the warmth of his body.

It was like that Phantom Limb syndrome he had heard about on Grey's Anatomy...or was it ER? Either way, Puck may have been gone, but in a way Kurt could still feel him.

And he liked it.

So, maybe Noah Puckerman wasn't his White Knight, but for a little while he could keep Kurt from being alone. And if he didn't do this he was terrified that's exactly what he would be.

So with a heavy sigh, he stood, swiftly picking up his phone and expertly flipping it open to reveal the keyboard and as he made his way up the stairs he responded to the texts Puck had sent him.

Thu, January 28 5:32 p.m.

To: Noah (Puck)

My dad's going to be working late tonight. Would you like to come over?

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Author's Note: I hope you were all happy with that. There will be some more Puck/Kurt smoochies in the next chapter, but I also think that I want to work on the friendship between Finn and Kurt. I really want those two to be close. I can't help it, but I love them, too. Until next time. Don't forget to review! Please and Thank you! XOXO