~Fake Perfume~
Mornings are things that people are supposed to look forward to. Usually, Bankotsu and Jakotsu are one of these few people. However, after a horrifying nightmare, Bankotsu can barely open an eye to the warm sunlight without shrieking. Will his shame ever cease? Or will it increase? Ooh, it rhymes.
He was running in the dream. Really fast. In the dream, he was clutching a steamed bun in his hand, super tight. He was sweating bullets, his long braid whipping in the wind, while people chased after him, calling him "thief". He was also sad, very sad, because for the first time in his life, he had been caught stealing!
What a shame! How could he ever look at Jakotsu proudly again? How could he brag to the girls as he walked by that he escaped with a few coins or two? I should hide in shame forever, he thought. Mama, Papa, forgive me. I have failed you!
Then, as he crossed the sunlit streets, a chicken flew right into his face, feathers and all.
Feathers and all… DID YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY?
Bankotsu woke up. The taste of feathers and chicken flesh was still existent in his mouth. Moaning, he sat up and glanced at the broken mirror in the center of their room.
Or, rooftop, at least. The boys, Bankotsu and Jakotsu had no home. They lived in an abandoned building, about two miles away from civilization. It was a collapsed building, full of termites and rats that gnawed gleefully on the rotting wood. But hidden in this dirty place was a home they created together.
As much as Jakotsu would've liked, Bankotsu and Jakotsu slept in separate rooms. In Bankotsu's room, he had a large mirror shard that was crammed in the center between two great chests full of clothes they had robbed many days ago. Not only did those boxes contain clothes, it also had wigs, make-up, shoes, books about accents, blueprints, and papers that all aided in their thievery activity.
That was all they had. Next door, Jakotsu's room contained about the same things. As for their beds, it was a colt with one of their softest jackets as a pillow and a long coat as a blanket. You can now very well deduce that they were very poor, despite their thievery successes. Part of why they didn't attempt to get better housings was because it would be suspicious.
And Bankotsu had enough brains to figure that out, even though his brain wasn't very big.
In any case, Bankotsu got up from his bed and stared at the mirror. He examined his reflection, noting differences between his childhood and now. He always did this in the morning, just because he was that kind of a person. It was also so that he could see what disguises suited him best. After all, doctors were supposed to be tall. The taller you were, the wiser you were supposed to be. Bankotsu wasn't that tall. So, he left the doctor act to Jakotsu all the time. He was always the injured patient or the innocent brother. He just… looked like that.
But today, as he looked at the mirror, he couldn't put his thievery mind to work. He kept thinking about that girl, how she mocked his ways. It made all their accomplishments stupid. And Bankotsu was a teenage boy who did NOT like having people name what they did STUPID.
"Thievery is an art," he said to himself, using the same gruff voice his father used to talk to him with. His expression softened. He hadn't seen his father ever since he was six. He always assumed he was dead, because when your dad doesn't come back after going to a store, he's dead. Or that's what his mom told him.
Just then, Jakotsu strolled in. "Yo, Aniki! Looking handsome today as well, eh?"
Bankotsu shot him an intense glare. "Don't you start now."
His companion shook his hands in denial. "I was joking! Even though Aniki is handsome and all, I would never make a move on you!"
"Good, because if I wanted someone to make a move on me, I rather it be a girl."
"Like me?"
The two spun around. No one was there. Was there a ghost? Bankotsu started edging toward one of the boxes, wondering where he had put his lucky charm.
"No, I'm right here!"
The voice was feminine for sure. It sounded familiar. Jakotsu peeked at Bankotsu's colt and shrugged his shoulders when Bankotsu gestured "is she there".
"No you morons, I'm UP HERE!"
The two shot their glances upward. Sitting on the roof beams was the very same girl that had stolen their steamed buns and put Bankotsu to shame. Today, she had wrapped her hair up into buns on both sides of her head. She wore a plain white dress shirt today, along with a dark green skirt that was held up with hanging brown ropes that dangled on the sides of her thighs. She wore long leather boots that went all the way up to her knees.
She jumped down, bringing a bunch of rocks down with her. As she brushed the soot off her clothes, Bankotsu cracked his knuckles and started thinking of the most efficient way to beat this girl to a pulp.
But before he could do anything, she latched herself onto Bankotsu, staring at him with her awkwardly golden eyes. She started to breathe slower, making sure her apple scented mouth was just an inch from his.
"Uh… what are you doing?" Bankotsu eyed Jakotsu, winking twice, which meant "HELP ME".
Jakotsu nodded quickly and started digging through the boxes for something.
"Why, I'm making a move on you." She giggled and turned her head away for a moment.
"Please, don't. I have a date with the girl behind counter #2 today."
The girl tightened her hold around his neck. She laid her head against his shoulder. "It's okay, I canceled it for you."
"No, really, she has a huge crush on me and is sort of a beast if you reject her—"
"I FOUND IT!" Jakotsu cried. He leaped up and flashed a thing in the air. It looked white and rubbery, as if it were a c—
Bankotsu's face turned red as a tomato as he fell against the wall, weak and helpless because his friend was a dimwit. Then, when he realized the girl was about to kiss him (or do something), he punched her in the gut and ran out the door like a girl screaming "mommy".
Jakotsu stood there motionless, watching the girl hop on one foot while yelling out gibberish. Then, he glanced at the thing he had in his hand and shrugged.
"I was planning to save this for myself anyway."
~O~O~O~O~O~
Izayoi scowled as the third comb got tangled up in her web-like hair. With an impatient snap of her fingers, her servants immediately saw that the comb was pulled out and that a new one was given to her. As she tried to redo the side that had been tangled, the doors opened without warning, forcing the comb she had in her hand to break in half.
The already agitated empress leapt to her feet and seized a spear from a nearby suit of armor. She lashed it dangerously at the entrance. But the gossamer canopy that hid her from view was hiding the person that opened the door.
It was the voice that gave away the identity.
"Izayoi, my love. I have already made arrangements to marry you. As for my wife, I had her sign the divorce papers. Now—"
"INU NO TAISHOU!" she shrieked. "I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK!"
The Japanese ambassador gasped. "Were you expecting me?" He wiped away a fake teardrop from an eye. "So you embraced the true emotion in your heart. IZAYOI, I LOVE—"
"HIYA," she cried, thrusting the spear into his ribs.
The Inu no Taishou let his mouth hang. Then, with a flourish gesture, he snapped the spear in half and wrapped his arms around Izayoi. The poor empress screamed, barked, whined, bawled, squealed, and flinched when she felt his strong arms around her back.
"SECURITY! SECURITY! WHERE'S MY DARNED SECURITY?" she screeched, slapping Inu no Taishou's strong chest.
"Izayoi… I had always dreamed of the day I could feel your silken hair." He caressed her arms. "Ah, your arms are as soft as eggs… What shall we name our child?"
By now, Izayoi's face had turned red from yelling so long. Security had already come, but they were so frightened at the sight of the youkai, they were inching along the corners, shouting silent threats that the two could not hear. Then, when hope was all lost, the doors were once more thrust open.
A young priestess, the age of seventeen but already blossoming into a beautiful woman, stood before them. She was stringing an arrow to her bow, aiming it at the dog demon. Wrapped around the arrow were black beads glistening with holy powder—deadly even for the strongest youkai alive.
The arrow was let loose, free to hit the bottom of Inu no Taishou. With a yelp, his arms left Izayoi's back, his legs moving backwards as he made a back flip in agony. Then, his eyes widened.
His eyes were focused on the priestess. Her long hair was just as wonderful as Izayoi's, cut straight across her forehead and tied in a loose ponytail. Her Buddhist nun clothes were not tightly fit, but he could tell that she had a "very nice body" as he was putting it in his head. A sweat drop rolled down his cheek.
Then:
"You, there." His voice was calm, unlike someone who had been struck in the butt with a holy arrow.
"What's the matter?" Her voice was strangely angelic. Izayoi, who was transfixed to her spot watched with interest.
"I'd like you to be my second wife. Would you mind?"
The priestess shoved the end of the bow into his mouth and glared at him intensely. "Sure, over my dead body."
All of a sudden, a man wearing blue robes, stalked into the room. He was holding fudas tightly in his hand, ready to kick some demon butt until he heard the priestess's sentence. He drooled. "And what a nice body I'm sure it is," he added.
The priestess spun around, her hawk-like glance burning through the soul of the monk. "Sum Lum, stop fooling around and help me!"
The Japanese ambassador sat up and pulled the arrows out of his butt. He also pulled out a thick journal, full of incomprehensible scribbles and diagrams. Stabbing a finger at the dusty tome, he searched for the translation of that name the priestess had scolded. The only thing he could find was "Miroku".
"Ho, so that's what it means? Summer Lummer sounds so totally different than "Miroku", eh?"
Miroku, or as his Japanese name was, nodded saintly. "My parents always thought that I was as handsome as a forest. That has been true, because I have so many beautiful ladies around me."
A girl, younger than the priestess with the bow stepped out of the door Miroku had been standing in. She had a face so similar to the priestess's; it was hard to tell the difference. "Miroku, hurry up and set the barrier!" She scratched her head and also pulled out a translation book too. All the while, the priestess and Izayoi stared ponderingly at the translation books everyone was pulling out. "Uh, her name was "Sango-chan", was it? Japanese names are always hard…"
At the name "Sango", Inu no Taishou straightened. Sango was the name of the most fearsome youkai hunter in both China and Japan. If this trio of priestesses and the priest was in cahoots, it might be a bad idea to be even standing there. As he pondered his options, the door opened again.
The first thing everyone noticed was the massive, intimidating boomerang made out of sturdy youkai bones leaning against the arm that belonged to this very Sango Inu no Taishou was fearing. The nineteen-year-old was very frightening herself. Her beautiful dramatic eyes were all that you could see, for her face was covered by a mask. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail so that it would not get in the way.
Then she took a sudden step forward and threw the boomerang at the inu daiyoukai, without more than a breath. Eyes widening to the size of the tiny dim sum plates the Chinese served, (which are small, but pretty big if you think about how even smaller human and humanoid eyes are) Inu no Taishou ducked and pushed Izayoi aside as he leaped into the air.
He punched at the roof when he was about to hit it, only to have it go right through. But that was okay, because even great, daiyoukai like Inu no Taishou sometimes needed to go to extremes to escape. He clambered up and out of the hole, then poked his head through the hole to exclaim his final words. They were:
"JUST WATCH, SANGO! I'LL GET YOU! ONE DAY!" He paused and studied the unmoving figure as the boomerang flew back to Sango. "AS MY FOURTH WIFE!"
Sango arched her eyebrows deeply as she heard his last words. In annoyance, she said "Hiraikotsu" and tossed her weapon at Inu no Taishou. But he had left already, in fear of the youkai taijiya.
The boomerang only succeeded in wrecking the roof even more. Soon, the roof was creaking and shaking. The trio, now including Sango, hurried Izayoi and the soldiers that were standing by the door out of the room as the palace began to fall apart.
They were breathless as they stood outside, wiping their foreheads and panting. Except Sango, who was now in the process of removing her mask. When she pulled the metal thing away from her face, she turned to Izayoi and smiled. She looked so gentle now.
"Are you all right, Your Majesty? Forgive me for not coming sooner. I was preoccupied with some other business..." She pulled away the ribbon holding her hair and started to fix her ponytail. The way her voice faded meant that she was open on this topic.
Izayoi held her head high, trying to regain authority and to create a sense of composure. However, in reality, she was ready to fidget and start bawling like a baby. But she couldn't. She was not allowed. She was, after all, the empress of the great country China. She had to stand strong.
So she asked Sango, like any polite escapee from a dangerous youkai might have, "What kind of to other business?"
Instantly, Sango's hair was tied and her smile was upon her face once more. "Well, for example," she began, pointing to the western part of China. "Far, far, to the north lie the lands of Europe. I was fighting the Kraken and the Dragon before I received a distress call from China."
Izayoi raised a quizzical eyebrow when Sango mentioned the "Kraken" and the "Dragon". She tried to pronounce these strange, English words. "Ka… ken? Kaken? What's a Kaken?"
"It's a type of monster that likes to sleep in the waters. It's a gigantic squid, about this size." Sango gestured to the palace and then to the farthest house they could see. "Very hard to beat. But once you know its weakness, it's easy."
"Oh… I see…"
"Oh, but that's not all. While I was coming to your rescue, I encountered the werewolf, the Jiang Shi…"