As Sung By

Chapter 14-I Never Told You

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Disclaimer: I have no rights to the show and/or any of Colbie Caillat's music.

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One should pity the fool who questioned Noah "Puck" Puckerman's badassness. Seriously, he was a stud, a leader, don't believe it? Just check out his guns! For those who still did not get it with all the provided proof, the punishment was severe: an ass kicking. Good old "knuckles to your face, busted lips, and chipped teeth" kinds of ass kickings. In fact Puck was so badass that instead of being in class like he should have, he sat perched against an old oak tree several blocks from the school.

Technically the decision to spend a lazy day in the park was not one he had made himself. He had been suspended for a week for defending his badassness to half the hockey team (not to mention the park was better than being sprawled out on the couch in his house; surrounded by old take out boxes and suffering through the stench provided by stained whiskey bottles). It had not been his fault that Hummel had sneak attacked him like a ninja, a big gay, purse-swing ninja. He could take Hummel down any day of the week. Puck snorted laughingly at the sheer thought of Kur…Hummel taking him down.

Puck sighed as the images in his mind soon moved from Kurt's imaginary attempts to sissy slap and bit him to the memories of the way Kurt's soft hands would slip under his shirt and travel over his muscles, and the way Kurt would purr at him and nip at the skin below his ear.

The boy groaned and brought his hand up, resting his chin in it, and closed his eyes. How had things gotten so screwed up? He had never fully understood the things between him and Kurt, the sudden and totally-freaking unexpected appreciation he had for the boy, but he did know that things were not supposed to end up like this. He could not blame this one of the adorable little homosexual. Nope. This one was on him. Even with all his arrogant confidence, Puck knew that his reaction to seeing Kurt and Frankenteen together the other morning had been a bit much, but could anyone (not that he would ever tell) blame him?

Hell no!

Puck had every right to be jealous…no…not jealous…possessive…no, that was not right either. He had a right to be whatever about what he had seen. It was not the world's best kept secret that Kurt harbored feelings for the giant oak of a boy, so he had not been completely rash in his assumptions.

Puck groaned again. Even he was seeing through his bull now.

Puck leaned back against the tree once more, further frustrated. What threw him through the loop even more was something that had been bugging him for weeks? Why the hell did he care? Hummel was a game, a fun, entertaining, well-glossed, tasty game. That was it.

Bullshit, Puckerman. You got it bad. He told himself. The little fairy splashed you with his pixie dust and you loved every sparkly bit of it!

With another sigh Puck reached for his guitar, unlatching the case and pulling out by the neck. He rested in his lap and against his stomach as he began to stroke out the chords to a freshly learned song.

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Puck thought back to the dozen or more times he had unknowingly (until Kurt called him out on it, his face flushed and a bashful look plastered on his pale features) stared into Kurt's baby blue eyes. He had never paid them much mind, but once they had begun to see each other he found himself haunted by their beauty. They were simple, they did not stand out and grabbed your attention by the balls like the freakish way some people's did, yet at the same time they were completely and totally captivating. There was so much beauty and pain inside them. Puck longed to replace the pain with, well, he wasn't sure, but something better; much better.

Kurt deserved that much.
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

Puck strummed the chords out almost mindlessly and still perfectly as he thought back to the time he had taken the risk and kissed Kurt in the hallway once third period had started. The hallway had been desolate for an endless amount of moments and he could not stand to look and Kurt without feeling him, so he had went for it. Kurt yelped in surprise, but he did not pull away, Puck could feel the boy smile against his lips and he did not need to see it to know exactly what it looked like. It was perfect. Gleaming and incandescent white teeth, bordered by a pair of perfect lips—lips that had been so excentlly melded against his own.

He remembered the way Kurt's breath came in short puffs when he pulled away, the way his breath brushed against his lips—against his heart.

Puck also remembered they way Kurt's raspberry lip balm had lingered on his lips and they way he had touched them, smiling to himself; happy to have taken a part of the boy with him to get him through the rest of the godforsaken day with its litany of math questions and ancient war dates. Kurt made it all the more survivable.

It had been that day that Puck had told himself, reflecting on their kiss and that smile that he would be the reason behind it as often as possible, even if he wasn't there to see it or feel the warmth that resonated from it, he would be the reason Kurt smiled.

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

Puck's voice remained smooth, but he nearly bit out the lines of the song. He had been so stupid. He had had Kurt. Neither of them said it, but he could see it in the way Kurt was with him. They way they could just be together. And he had thrown it away. Instead of being a real badass and talking to Kurt or even Finn, he had run away. He had found Santana and without a comment's hesitation or consideration he had kissed her. He hadn't even liked it. Not the taste of bubblegum and cherry lip-gloss, or the slutty way she pressed herself against him, or the desperate way she had moaned into his mouth.


And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
 The list of things Puck missed about Kurt was far too long to even contemplate.

He just missed him.

He just wanted him.

He lost him.
I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

Puck closed his eyes as he continued and in his mind there was no need to miss Kurt. He was there with him. He was smiling and laughing, kissing and squealing.

When Puck opened his eyes the sheer loneliness that invaded him was so foreign and more importantly immensely painful; so painful that his voice broke throughout the chorus.
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

Puck never got to finish his song as a sound more beautiful than his own voice could ever produce pulled him from the music.

"Noah?" The soft, curious voice chimed timidly from above him and Noah dared not to his eyes, for fear that if he did he would be gone.

"Hello, Kurt." Was all Noah said with one last peaceful and heartbreaking strum of his guitar.

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Author's Note: I decided it was time to give Puck's side of the story and give some insight into what the situation, and Kurt, meant to him. I think that the next chapter will probably be the last for the fic. I also want to give a big thanks to everyone who has reviewed for this story. It really does inspire me, motivate me to write and update more quickly, and I love that you guys love and stay with this story. So, thankful. Now, go review some more, please. I promise to have the next chapter up by the end of the week (it'd be sooner, but I do have school and work.) I love you all! Once again, please forgive me for all error, I suuucckkkk at editing. Sad face.