A/N Hey all... thank you so much for your support! I really appreciate it. Thanks heaps to everyone who has left a review! It really makes it worthwhile!

Hope you enjoy this chapter... were going a bit more into Booth's back story here. Also as previously mentioned there is some self harm in this chapter. Please be wary if your not into reading that sort of thing! Enjoy!

Chapter 4

After some time on the floor of his kitchen, she offered him her hands and pulled him back towards the couch. She poured him another drink, and he gulped back the alcohol quickly. He looked at her with an apologetic look in his eyes, and she wondered if he was sorry for what he had not told her yet, or for what he was about to tell her. She tentatively placed a hand behind him, running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. Her sudden touch made him smile, and he felt comfortable enough to put his hand on her knee and trace his fingers up and down her leg. He knew himself, and he knew he needed to be doing something while he spoke. If his hands were not busy he would completely lose it, and he couldn't do that in front of her. Not again anyway. He moved even closer to her, sneaking a sideways glace at her as he shifted his body. She looked content as she stroked the back of his neck and ran her hand down his arm soothingly. Over the course of the night their relationship seemed to have shifted from friends to something more. He sure as hell wasn't complaining. He took a deep breath, knowing that as soon as he got this off his chest he would feel better. The sooner they finished off what they had started tonight, the quicker they would be able to start whatever it was that had just happened between them.

"You have to understand that I was just a kid, and at the time I just couldn't see any other way out. I definitely didn't have the life experience that I have today..." he stuttered, trying to get the words out as quickly as he could. He felt her hand slide into his own, and he got a wave of sudden courage that he had never experienced before.

"My Dad, he used to drink a lot. He was a pretty horrible guy, and the sad part is I have no idea if that was who he really was, or if it was just the booze that made him that way. For my entire childhood, whenever I would wake up in the morning, or come home from school, or need help with my homework...he would be completely wasted."

He paused briefly, and he felt her hand grasp his own just a little bit tighter.

"I tried everything from hiding the booze, to tipping it down the sink, not to mention hiding his wallet and cash. But it never worked. He always figured it out. He was always angry, or pissed off about something. He always had this look in his eye that made me think he might kill me at any second."

"That must have been hard for you, and Jarrod." She said softly.

"Yeah it was." he said, looking at her briefly. "But Jarrod, he was just a kid. It was hard for him to understand why his dad was such a deadbeat while all the other kids loved their Dad's and did all this amazing stuff with them. I used to try with him, I really did. I would make his lunch in the morning, take him to and from school, take him to his sports games on the weekend, help him with his homework, and put him to bed every night. I had to get a job because we never had any money or food in the house, and I was always so exhausted that I hardly ever showed up at school, let alone learnt anything."

"You were his father figure Booth. You gave up your own childhood to give your brother one. That is a truly selfless thing to do."

He scoffed a bit, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in close to his side.

"Yeah and look at us now. Jarrod pretty much hates me." He said the sadness evident in his tone.

"That's not true Booth. He doesn't hate you, not at all. I've seen the way he looks at you. He looks up to you, like you're what he hopes to be. He may not know how to show it yet, but it's definitely there..." she leaned her head on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of her forehead gently.

"Thanks Bones..."

She smiled, leaving a kiss on his cheek and then settling back against his shoulder.

"As we got older, the angrier he got. Jarrod and I would come home, and he would just lose it. You have no idea how many times I would have to shove Jarrod into a room, because I could just see it in his eyes. It's not like I didn't give what I got back to him, but he was bigger than me, and a lot stronger. This one night he got so angry over something he whacked me over the back of the head with a broken bottle. I blacked out, and when I woke up a few hours later, it was like he was just waiting. He started kicking me in the stomach, yelling about how I had gotten blood on the carpet."

She felt tears in her eyes as she sat up and looked at him, his body trembling as he relived the pain.

"I was spitting up blood for hours. I took Jarrod and drove myself to the hospital, which is when they called my Grandfather. When he arrived he knew, and he said he wasn't letting us go back there again. So after I was discharged from the hospital we moved in with him. Things were good until school told me that I was failing and would have to repeat the year. I just got so angry you know, because none of them had any idea what I had been through. I started throwing stuff and kicking furniture. They sent me to the school counselor and as soon as he asked me about the bruises on my face I started punching him too."

She rested her hand over his heart again, feeling his heart beat quicken with every word he said.

"I went home disgusted with myself Bones. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I hated my father for turning me into him, but more than that I hated myself for letting it happen. My grandfather was out, and Jarrod was absorbed in his video games. I wasn't even thinking anymore, I was so angry with myself. I took a knife from the kitchen and locked myself in the bathroom."

She rubbed his back soothingly as he leaned forward, his head in his hand. It was hard to ignore that he was now in the exact same position she herself had been in several hours earlier.

"It was all so easy Bones. I didn't think twice about it. Just pushed the knife into my wrists and let the blood drip onto the floor. I'm not sure how long it took, but the next thing I remember was someone banging on the door. I remember hearing Jarrod's voice, saying my name over and over again."

She let out the breath she was holding, hating that he had been through something as horrible as this. He didn't deserve it, no one did.

"When I woke up I was in hospital with a headache and bandages around my wrists."

He sighed deeply, looking back at her from his crouched position.

"I was just a mixed up kid Bones. I didn't know what I was doing. I am so thankful that he found me when he did. I had no idea what I was going to be giving up..."

He gazed at her intently, his eyes shining with un-shed tears. She pulled him back onto the couch by his shoulders, wrapping him into her embrace. She placed a hand on the back of his head as she felt his warm tears against his neck.

"I'm not going anywhere Booth. We're going to get through this. I'll always be here, I promise..." she whispered in a calming tone.