Thank you all for the kind reviews. Suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome.
"New info!" a few days later, Kyoya once again opened his notebook to inform the Host Club members about possible Mary-Sues.
"Mon Dieu! Are there more?!" Tamaki hugged Kuma-chan tightly.
"Waaah, Takashiii!" cried Hunny "I'm still scared enough of Kanazuki-san, I don't need any more!!!"
Mori patted Honey on the head, though he wasn't too sure of the safety of the situation either.
Haruhi and the twins just sighed as the Shadow King began to read.
Samurai Sue
General: She's a warrior. Comes from an ancient family, her name probably means "Fire Spirit" or something alike, and fights as a goddess. Is amazing with her shining katana, and quite often is a master at karate, judo, kendo and any other martial art comes to the author's mind.
Development: She should be training all day, but suddenly visits the Host Club for some unknown reason and immediately falls for…
Romances: Mori. Only Mori. Duh!
Past: Horribly tragic. She has been abused, raped, beaten, and became the tough girl she is now to defend herself and escape her terrible memories by getting stronger and stronger…
Likely to show up? Sometimes.
Kyoya's advice: I understand you're wonderful, Samurai Sue, but no, you can't brainwash Mori-senpai to the point he starts making out passionately with you in the club room within two chapters. Just no.
"Huh?" Mori looked terrified.
Hunny nearly fainted.
The others just looked at Mori, not really managing to picture him doing what Kyoya said with Samurai Sue.
Kyoya coughed, and everyone turned to him again.
Endless Sue
General: She may have personality and not be amazingly beautiful, it's just that her story never seems to conclude.
Development: Meets the Host Club in some way, is captured by the gaze of a member, and the rest is history. Oh, but the meeting takes place only after at least 3 pages of nonsense. Oh, and it takes 43984789 chapters for insert host's name here to so much as tell her she's cute, then come another 74378894 chapters with Endless Sue angsting over WTF knows what, then…
Romances: Kyoya or Mori (mostly).
Past: Probably had a few traumas, you need angst.
Likely to show up? Quite a few times.
Kyoya's advice: This isn't Beautiful or any other soap. The school year isn't endless, and you, Endless Sue, are a pain. Sorry.
"That has to be boring!" Hikaru looked annoyed.
"I couldn't stand anyone like that!" added Kaoru.
Everyone else in the Host Club nodded in agreement
"Me neither, to tell the truth" Kyoya pushed up his glasses "and she isn't very likely to bring Rich Bitch Sue along as an extra, so no profit… anyway, on to the next one…"
Anti-Sue Sue
General: She's ugly, overweight, clumsy, and irritating.
Development: Enters the Host Club, and, while she stays ugly, overweight, clumsy, and irritating, these traits start actually to work to her advantage for some unknown reason.
Romances: Anyone, really…
Past: Tragic, but not too much. Has to tell it to someone, though…
Likely to show up? Maybe.
Kyoya's advice: Head over heels for you, Anti-Sue Sue? Nope. Hiding you're a terrible Mary-Sue by being very "Anti" is a bad, bad strategy.
"But… but…" stammered Hikaru and Kaoru in unison.
Tamaki's jaw dropped open.
"No more!" screamed Haruhi.
"Sorry, Haruhi…" and Kyoya turned the page.
Mind-controlling Sue
General: Just your average Sue, though she seems to possess some unknown mysterious mind-controlling power.
Development: Enters the Host Club, and shatters the host's personalities with her weird powers. So Kyoya can break into tears, Tamaki can slap Haruhi, the twins can turn into angels, Mori can start chatting, Hunny can be serious and stop eating cake, whatever…
Romances: She can brainwash anyone, really.
Past: Quite often tragic.
Likely to show up? Often.
Kyoya's advice: No, no, no… I won't pick flowers for you while the breeze whispers gently, Mori-senpai will not kiss you in the middle of the corridor, Hunny-senpai will not invite you over for Special Cake Night, Tamaki will not lend you Kuma-chan and bring you to France ignoring Grandma and everybody, and Hikaru and Kaoru will not fight to the death over you. Sorry, but no.
"AAARGH!!!" screamed everybody.
"Silence!" Kyoya slammed the notebook on the table "and listen. There's one more for today. Mori-senpai!"
Mori looked up.
"This is a particuar type. Pay attention…"
Satoshi's Girlfriend Sue
General: She's pretty, popular, clever, has thousands of secret talents…
Development: Yep, she's Satoshi Morinozuka's girlfriend! Not for long, though, 'cause withing three chapters she gets stolen by:
a) Chika;
b) Mori;
c) both
…so then… hey! Mori-senpai! What are you doing?!
Mori tore the page out of Kyoya's notebook and threw it in the trash can seconds before the clock struck three.
Writing this got my hand twitching to finally publish my own Sue-packed (or so I think) story... should I?