Kyoya wants to thank you all, dear customers!

The customers had just left, but Kyoya told everyone to stay in the Third Music Room for another short while. Just as usual, he had spent the whole afternoon scribbling in his notebook.

"Now" he smiled in the end "I got some new information from our beloved customers!"

"AAAH!" Tamaki fell back on the couch in shock "do you mean… there are more…"

"Yes. And listen carefully!"

Talented Sue

General: She might seem pretty average, but she has a talent that distinguishes her. It might not be obvious from the very beginning, but she actually is a wonderful virtuoso with at least three instruments (piano is a must here), can paint like or even better (!!!) than Leonardo Da Vinci, or her books sell more than Harry Potter.

Development: Her talents usually show within a chapter, maybe she goes in the Third Music Room to play the piano, or has an exhibition at school, or gets into Ouran because her last novel sold so well to make her a millionaire. And, of course, all this sparks the interest of a couple of hosts.

Romances: Usually Kyoya or Kaoru, but Mori and Hunny aren't safe either.

Past: Horrible. Hides her scars in her artistic works, that's why her music is so heartbreaking, her paintings are so powerful, and her books sound so real.

Likely to show up? A few times.

Kyoya's advice: Understand the difference between admiration and true love, then we'll see.

"Can she bake artistic cakes, Kyo-chan?"

Everyone stared in shock at Hunny, for his voice sounded cold. Dark mode returned.

"Probably" Kyoya was the only one who didn't bat an eyelid "moving on…"

Instant Crush Sue

General: No, it's not instant like instant coffee, just some hot water and a Sue pops out of the cup, my lord. So… she enters the Host Club and a host instantly falls head-over-heels for her, without exchanging as much as two words with her.

Development: The host immediately confesses his feelings, completely unreasonable angst follows, they kiss and make up, happy end.

Romances: Kyoya or Mori (!!!), at least in 90 percent of the cases.

Past: Bad. She has to tell it soon.

Likely to show up? Rarely.

Kyoya's advice: Head over to Lobelia now. Or just leave the fanfiction world once and for all.

"No way!" Hikaru jumped up.

"Takashi…?" Hunny was trying hard to picture his cousin falling head-over-heels in an instant.

Tamaki had nearly gone off, while Haruhi looked more and more worried, especially when Kyoya turned the page.

Attitude Sue

General: Frankly, the reasons of a gangster-like girl who curses everything and goes to school in torn jeans and a dirty T-shirt with swear words written on it showing up at Ouran are quite obscure to say the least.

Development: Hates the uniform, the school, the building, the hallways, the garden, the cherry blossoms, the ceiling lamps, the windows, the floor tiles, the toilets and the reflections of the sunlight on her sneakers. But especially hates the Host Club. Falls for one of them nonetheless, but with such an attitude, generally turns into an Endless Sue subspecies.

Romances: Anyone. Tamaki and Kyoya are the most likely targets here, though.

Past: Terrible. That's the reason of her hatred.

Likely to show up? Sometimes.

Kyoya's advice: No need to be kind here: just get lost. Not to Lobelia, for even Benibara will throw you out.

"I seriously won't allow her here!" Tamaki recovered, and seemed truly angry.

"But why will she come here?" Haruhi tilted her head.

Hunny was munching on a new cake, he needed some distraction. Mori sat behind him patiently, though wincing slightly.

The twins took each other's hands.

"There's more" Kyoya's voice made everyone's blood freeze.

Supernatural Sue

General: She's a witch! A sorceress! (No, strangely no business with the Black Magic Club) A mermaid! A fairy! A true angel! A vampire (strangely can stand sunlight…)! An elf! A dragon girl! And the list could go on…

Development: Depends. Mermaids and other mythical creatures usually charm a host and they ride off into the sunset (after lots of angst, of course), end of story. Magician girls solve a host's problems just by snapping their fingers, but only after making Haruhi filthy rich and sending her off on a foreign trip with boxes full of ootoro to have her out of the picture; then the mayhem can begin with Tamaki's grandma mysteriously disappearing off the face of the Earth, Kyoya's brothers turning into toddlers, Hunny and Chika being best pals for life and whatever.

Romances: This time it is really anyone.

Past: "Oh, have been an outcast because of my pointy ears/fish tail/mysterious powers/other wtf!"

Likely to show up? Rarely, but she's still there.

Kyoya's advice: There's no evidence of such creatures existing. You don't exist. And if you do, what are you doing at this school anyway?

"All right, it's over!" the Shadow King smiled. Too bad no one could move from utter shock.

Kyoya had more notes from beloved customers, but decided not to throw it all on the already scared others all at once.

*Self-publicity*: for Sues showing up, check out my fanfic. There's Rich Bitch Sue, Overly Sensible Sue, Dull Non-Sue/Immature Sue, and Blissfully Ignorant Wallpaper Sue, though they will be played down.