Well, this will be the last part. I'm sorry if I haven't incorporated some Sues; maybe I can persuade Kyoya to add something. But, read on, as he's currently busy with another project, as you will see.

Kyoya sighed happily; his men and some beloved customers helped him out again. And, he thought, it was the last, blissful time.

"Attention, everyone!" he smiled, some time before 3 PM "I think it's over. Here go my last notes."

The others decided to pay attention and not simply fall flat from shock because of the magic word "last".

Kyoya opened his notebook and began reading.

Nurse Sue

General: She has an innaturally high level of empathy, but does not border Overly Sensible Sue. She's just there to listen to everyone's angst, but strangely she's never around for Angsty Sue.

Deveopment: She's there for the hosts' emotional scars. What? You don't have that many? Who cares. She shows up, so you do.

Romances: Anyone, though most likely Tamaki, who, we all know, angsts non-stop over his mother.

Past: Tragic. She's so empathetic because of that.

Likely to show up? Relatively rarely.

Kyoya's advice: Our Lord isn't constantly angsting, sorry. And if you make anyone else angst over something you made up… get lost.

"Huh…?" Tamaki tilted his head like a puppy.

"Exactly" said Kyoya as he turned the page.

Hated Outcast Sue (Bossa Nova Sue?)

General: She's stupid/mean/irresponsible/bitchy/all of them, so everyone hates her, even the Hosts.

Development: Oh, she does have a good side, of course. And someone discovers it accidentally, maybe she's nursing an injured sparrow. (Bossa Nova…?)

Romances: Most likely Mori or Hunny, but maybe Kaoru. (NOT Bossa Nova. Weird…)

Past: Terrible. Everyone hates her, oh, the trauma!!!

Likely to show up? Kinda rare again.

Kyoya's advice: Everyone hates you because you're a good person? Bossa Nova was merely scary, but you're being hated? Um… nope. Can't see it working.

"Casanova-kun is nice!" smiled Haruhi.

Tamaki had to be dragged out of the corner by Hikaru.

"My lord, listen up, I think there's more!"

Smut Sue

General: She's sexy! Or maybe not, she's there for only one reason, though…

Development: …said reason is SLEEP WITH A HOST!

Romances: Anyone. Really anyone, maybe even more at once.

Past: Who cares, she's a goddess in bed. Story rated M, of course.

Likely to show up? Rarely.

Kyoya's advice: Label your story AU, PWP, OOC, M-RATED, MARY SUE, WARNING, YAY!1!!!111!!1!, so just that we know. Otherwise you have no reason to exist.

"B-but…" stammered Haruhi.

"This is Ouran High School! Not a brothel!" Tamaki jumped up.

"Right" Kyoya's glasses flashed "so you see why she's a failure as a Sue… Let's move on now…"

Cliffhanger Mystery Sue

General: She's… OMG! A CLIFFY! Oh, so exciting, mystery everywhere! Why is she so insert anything here? Why does insert host's name here act so strangely? OMG! A CLIFFY!

Development: She's mysterious. There's something weird hanging in the air… OMG! A CLIFFY! Will we ever get to know it?

Romances: Most likely Mori or Kaoru, maybe even Kyoya sometimes.

Past: OMG! A CLIFFY! That's part of the mystery, too.

Likely to show up? Common.

Kyoya's advice: Don't underestimate the information I can gather, thank you very much.

"Somehow we're not excited" the twins said in unison.

"Me neither" Haruhi yawned.

Kyoya nodded and continued.

Loner Sue

General: She doesn't have friends, maybe even doesn't want them. Does not angst about it constantly, at least.

Development: She enters the Host Club nonetheless, or stumbles across a member, who immediately gets interested in them. And, wonderfully, she slowly learns to open up…

Romances: Probably Tamaki at first, somebody else later.

Past: Probably tragic, a reason for her loneliness.

Likely to show up? A common one.

Kyoya's advice: I don't see any reason for you to show up here… but oh well. If you can pay, you can come…

The clock struck three.

Soon a guest entered. She had her uniform ebroidered with gold, a diamond in the middle of her ribbon, a golden credit card sticking out of her pocket and walked as if on the red carpet. Kyoya's eyes lit up for a second; if he wasn't the Shadow King, maybe his jaw would have dropped open.

Could it be…?

"I am…"

Kyoya quickly searched in his notebook.

"Aki Kamimae…"

"Exactly" the girl answered, smiling, then she turned to Tamaki "you, blonde prince! I pick you! Bring me some tea!"

Aki Kamimae, only daughter of the head of the Kamimae Company… her name means "On the front and in the middle"… she's very rich…

The afternoon ended quickly. Kyoya was happy, as he had the chance to meet Rich Bitch Sue.

"Oh, just one more thing… my agents warned me about something else too" he said to the other hosts after he had finished counting all the money they got from Aki Kamimae "some improbable, scary events… I'll share some notes with you soon…"

Haruhi sighed. She was kinda scared, but knew there was no escape.

Kyoya wrote a new title in his notebook. How NOT to write Ouran fanfiction – according to Kyoya. The day when he would share the new info with the others wasn't too far.

Look out for Kyoya's next project, though it will be probably rated M, taking all the possible horrors into account. :) And I'm such a selfish person, I sent my existing OC Aki to make him happy!