CHAPTER 5 NEW DISCOVERIES.

Bella's POV

Once everyone was asleep, I crept up to my room. I couldn't sleep in there, I wasn't comfortable. I need the protection my room offered, I needed to be alone, I couldn't have anyone nearby in case the nightmares came and I started crying. I needed to be alone. Once in the safety of my room, I let the tears I had been holding back fall, they ran in streams down my cheeks. I was alone in my room for a while, silently crying. I needed to get this all out if my system before I could go to sleep.

I was interrupted by a knock on my door. "Bella... Bella are you alright?" I heard Jasper call to me quietly, tentatively. "I'm fine." I answered him, my voice breaking as I said those two words. "Bella, please..." I cut Jasper off there, "Jasper." I choked out. "Please I am fine, please don't worry about me." I was trying to compose myself as I said those words. Jasper knocked on my door again. I was a little stunned that he was here, I knew he had his own problems, I didn't think he would care about me or my problems. I got and walked over to the door, I unlocked it and opened the door to see Jasper standing there leaning up against the wall. "Bella." That was all that Jasper said, but I could hear all the emotion in that one little word, all of his concern. That one little word was my name. As he turned to look at me, I knew he could see my face and what I looked like, I knew it wasn't good. I could see him from the small amount of light coming from the lamp in my room that he was concerned, I also knew my eyes were red and puffy and I had tear streaks running down my cheeks. "Jazz what are you doing here?" I questioned him. I wanted to sneak out and be left alone. I wanted to shed the tears that I needed to and then sleep in the comfort and privacy of my own room. "Bella, I saw you sneak out, and I wanted to make sure you were alright. That's all I promise." Jasper said as he raised his hands up in a submissive kind of way, like he was not here to threaten me in any way that he was surrendering. The only problem was that gesture just set off the worst responses in me, to me that gesture was a threat, and I immediately started backing away and drawing my arms around me protectively. I remembered that Phil always did that before he did anything else to me. I could feel the tears reforming in my eyes, and the pain of the memory starting to take over me. Jasper seemed to sense this as I was backing away from him and immediately dropped his hands. He went to take a step towards me and I continued backing up. I saw a flash of pain and hurt cross his features for a moment, before he composed himself and said to me, "Bella, I am not going to hurt you. I just want to make sure you're alright. Bella, darlin' please don't cry." The tears started falling, but I had managed to stop backing away from him. It took me a few moments to realise that he had called me Darlin', and realise that he had a southern twang as he said this. "Jazz, what are you doing here? Why do you even care?" I asked him, I was still confused to what possible motivates he could have to actually come up here and check on me. It wasn't like we had talked a lot or anything. I wasn't even sure if we were really friends. I mean I knew from Hailey that he was like that this with all of them, but I had only known him a week and that really didn't mean anything. I knew I was drawn to him, I knew I could feel his pain and that he had been through something horrible but I wasn't sure if it because I felt the need to help him or that I bonded with him on the level that we had both been through something horrible, and something that no one should ever have to face. "Bella, I was worried. Please let me come over to you just to make sure you are okay. If you want after that I will leave. Please I need to know you are okay." Jasper said to me practically begging me. I stood frozen for a few moments with the tears that I knew were still falling, running down my cheeks. I looked back at Jasper and could only see concern and worry for me on his beautiful facial features. This only made me feel worse, that he was he worried about me, I didn't want anyone to worry about me, I was strong, I was able to deal with this by myself. The tears I was crying started to fall faster and I started to shake almost uncontrollably. I wasn't able to say anything, I felt Jasper's pain and it combined with the pain and memories I was already dealing with dropped me to my knees, I was doubled over by what I was feeling at that moment. I was having a hard time holding the wall up to keep it from Hailey. I know she was sound asleep downstairs, but I couldn't risk waking her. I pulled back into myself, trying to cut off the emotions I was feeling. Jasper came racing towards me as I dropped to my knees. "Bella... Bella... I didn't mean to make you feel worse. Oh Bella... I am sorry. Are you okay? Please Bella talk to me." Jasper said to me almost on a panic, as he hesitantly reached a hand out to brush some of hair off my cheek. I sucked in a breath as his fingers gently brushed my cheek. I looked up into his face, into his deep blue eyes, eyes that reminded me of the ocean. Jasper brought his hand back up to my cheek and caressed it gently, as his gaze held mine. I could feel myself starting to calm and relax under his touch. Jasper's hand never moved from my cheek, I think he sensed that if it did I would be uncomfortable and the boundaries and walls would come back at more force. They were not down now, just relaxed slightly, and why I was not exactly sure. We stayed that way for a few minutes, each of taking some sort of comfort in the other.

I stiffened when I heard a movement downstairs. Jasper noticed my change immediately and dropped his hand from my cheek, he stood and held the same hand out to me to help me up from the floor. Once I was standing I reached out to Hailey. I found that she was still asleep, but I could feel that her emotions were a little off, I knew she was dreaming and that it was not a happy dream, but not a nightmare either. I let it go as soon as I heard movement on the stairs. I moved away from Jasper putting some space between us. "Someone is coming." I whispered. Jasper nodded his head and moved so that he was less into my room. Just as he walked back across the room Edward came up the stairs. He stopped at my door when he saw it was opened. The surprise that came across his face when he saw me and Jasper in my room alone was almost comical. "Bella, Jasper what are you guys doing up here?" Jasper looked at me then back to Edward, it was like he was looking for a way to answer that without drawing attention to either of us or the situation Jasper had found me in. "E, I came up here because I couldn't sleep. Jasper just found me before you got here." I said, I was surprised that my didn't crack once and sounded almost natural, maybe like I was just tired, not like I had spent the last hour crying. Edward just nodded to me. "You guys coming back down." He questioned looking mainly at Jasper. Jasper nodded. "Be down in a sec." Edward waited for Jasper to leave my room and then he followed him back downstairs.

I paced around my room. I was so lost in my thoughts, my feelings, I needed to get them back into control before I left my room. I was so lost with everything I was feeling, I was thinking about what had happened in Phoenix and the concern Jasper had just been showing me. I was so lost that I couldn't explain it, I just started crying again. I broke down completely this time, all the walls I had spent years building came falling down in an instant. I couldn't hold them up, I couldn't hold myself up. I collapsed to the floor and cried. I cried about everything that had happened to me, everything that was taken from me, everything I was feeling, everything I was afraid of and didn't even realise. I just sat there, holding myself together crying. I felt Hailey awake, and new at once she was concerned. I heard her come racing up the stairs, but I couldn't move. I knew she would come in and find me in this state as I hadn't shut the door or locked it since Jasper and Edward had left.

Hailey ran into my room and I saw the look on her face, she was worried about me. I knew she could feel everything I was feeling, everything I had kept hidden from her. I knew she knew that something bad had happened and I knew she was here to help me, because she loves me. The second she spotted me on the floor she was there and had me bundle in her arms trying to calm me. "Bells... Bells..." She broke and started crying with me, I hated to think that my overwhelming emotions had caused this, which in turn only made me cry harder. By this time I think we had woken a few other people downstairs. Because I heard more movement down there, then I heard it on the stairs and I started to panic. I didn't want people to see me like this, see me so vulnerable and weak, and just so helpless. Hailey immediately sensed my emotions and responded to them. "Bells honey, nobody is going to be thinking any of that, we all love you sis. Please you need to calm down. You need to believe we all love you and that we will always be here for you." Hailey said this to me while rubbing gentle circles on my back trying to calm me further. 'I know you mean that now but I don't think any of you will want to be anywhere near me when you find out why I came back, why I ran from mum and Phoenix' I thought to myself.

There was noise from outside my door and Hailey and I turned to look, we could see everyone in the door way, Alice was holding onto Edward tears rolling down her cheeks. They were leaning on one side of the doorway, on the other was Emmett holding tightly onto Rosalie. She looked like she wanted to come and hug me herself but was unsure if I would welcome it. Jasper was leaning against the wall on the other side of my door. I could see that he wanted to help me also, I could see conflict on his face, what exactly were the two things that was conflicting him I wasn't sure, but it wasn't the first time I had seen that look tonight. Edward and Emmett looked lost as what to do exactly. But I could see Emmett's big brother instincts coming into play. He wanted to hurt whoever or whatever had upset me.

I looked to Hailey pleading with my eyes to get everyone out of here. I didn't want everyone staring at me. It was making me feel worse more uncomfortable. Bella they are all worried about you. I don't know if I can get them all to leave without some sort of explanation from you to them. Sis we all love you, we all are here for you. But we can't help you if you don't talk to us, please Bells, please open up to us, please let us in. Hailey was pleading with me. I could tell from her emotions that she was being honest, that she loved me, and that all she wanted was to be here for me. I could feel her concern and worry. I knew she always thought I was the stronger of the two of us, that I could overcome anything. She just didn't understand that this was something beyond anything that she had ever imagined, something that the only way for me to escape from it was to run, run half way across the country. I was still crying, when I turned back to everyone. I looked at them all, I had gotten control of my emotions again a little and I could sense from them all their concern and worry. I tried to smile at them, but all my lips did was raise slightly. Alice noticed and launched herself at me and Hailey. The force she threw her self at us had us all tangled in a mass flat on the floor. "Bella..." The little pixie of my friend said to me tears still rolling down her cheeks. I was pulled into a big hug by her and she kissed my cheek. Everyone else was just watching us on the floor. Alice turned to Rosalie and nodded. Rose wiggled getting Emmett to let go of her and she came over to us, still sprawled and tangled on the floor. She knelt down and hugged the group of us as well. "Bella, I know you have only known me a week, but you are my friend. I love you, tell us what is wrong, let us help you sweetie, please." Rose was begging me to open up to them. Come on Bells, we are all here for you. We all love you, you are my sister, and I don't like seeing and feeling you this hurt. Please Bells, let us in, and let us help. Hailey begged me as well. I sighed. I didn't want to tell them, I didn't want their sympathy, I wanted to be strong and forget about this. Put it behind me. But I knew that wasn't going to happen now. I knew they wanted answers and I was going to have to give them to them. But before I could do that I needed to get better control of my emotions and up off the floor. "Ah... Hey guys do you mind getting off me please, I would like to feel my legs again." I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. Alice and Rose started giggling, "Sorry Bells." They said together getting off me. "Um... guys can you give me a minute and then I'll be down stairs and we can talk, or more like I can talk and you guys will listen. But I need a minute before I come down okay?" Edward and Emmett nodded at me. Alice and Rose said okay together. Hailey looked at me questioningly. Bells, what are you planning to do? Um Hails, I want to clean up a little, I know I have blood shot eyes and tear streaks running down my cheeks, I also need a minute to get my emotions back under control if you want me to talk to you all, in my present state you would get anything out of me before I broke down again. Please sis, give me a minute. I need this, you know I don't want to talk about this, but if you continue to push me I really won't tell you anything. I know you have now got a taste of the pain I have been going through and if you want to understand or have me talk to you, you are going to give me a minute to get myself back under control. I was now demanding her to listen to me. I couldn't do this until I was back under control, with that being said though Hailey stood up and walked to the door with Alice and Rose following. "Come on guys let's go back downstairs, Bells will be down in a sec'. Let's just give her a minute to clean up a little okay?" They all left my room, all except Jasper. "Hey Jazz, you coming?" Alice called back upstairs. "Yeah be there in a sec' Alice." He called back down to her. "'Kay." Was all that Ali replied with.

Jasper moved into my room and came over to me. He held out his hand to help me up. I took it slowly, and Jasper helped me up to my feet. "Don't worry Bells, everything is going to be okay." Jasper said as he moved his empty hand up to my cheek, gently rubbing it. I sighed and pressed my face into his hand, and a calming effect over took me, allowing me to bring my emotions all back into alignment, and back under a little control. I knew it was going to take a lot more then this to get them back under complete control, but this was enough to face my friends. Face them and confess my sins and confess as to why I had run away. "There Bells, you feelin' a little better now darlin'?" Jazz questioned quietly. I simply nodded in response. I was afraid to actually say anything at that moment. "Go clean yourself up, I'll be downstairs waitin'. I'll be there if you need anything. Don't worry about anything darlin' it's going to be fine." I nodded again and Jasper left me heading back downstairs to where everyone else was waiting for me. I went to the bathroom and washed my face with a little cold water, which helped a little with the redness and puffiness of my eyes. Deciding to go and face the firing squad I left the sanctuary of the bathroom and headed downstairs.

I felt everything I had kept hidden for the past couple of years, everything I had to keep from my loved ones. I knew that if it ever got out it would tear the family to pieces. I couldn't have that on my conscious, I couldn't be to blame for that. I wanted to keep this hidden from everyone. I wanted this to be left in the past, left where no one would know about it, no one except me and him that is. I would always know and so would he, I am sure at some stage he would forget about it but I never would. I would always remember it would always be there in the back of my mind, lingering in my thoughts, disturbing my dreams. There is one thing I have learnt you cannot run from your memories, they are always there, and always ready to resurface whenever you are not ready for that. Right now I was not ready to talk about this down stairs with the room full of people waiting for me. I sighed, closed my eyes and continued walking slowly downstairs. I reached the bottom of the staircase and froze. How could I walk into that room with all of them? How could I face them and tell them this, tell them everything I was keeping locked up. That was when Hailey reached out to me. Bella, please we are all here for you. We all love you and nothing you say can change that. Please come on in sis and talk to us. I am here with you every step of the way. I will always be here for you. I can feel everything you are feeling right now and Bells, I know you are scared and afraid and a lot of other emotions but we all love you, we are all here for you. Remember that. I sighed and walked into the living room. I sighed and sat down on the recliner. Everyone was gathered around me. I looked into all their faces, I could see the concern radiating off each and everyone one of them.

AN: PLEASE READ THIS!!!

This part of the story is a more M rated then T. It talks about sexual abuse. I promise there is nothing too graphic. I didn't want to upset anyone with what I was writing. Please if you feel that you cannot read this then skip this section. I will let you know when it is safe to read again.

I opened my mouth to start but nothing came out. I shut it and opened it a few more times looking for the words to start. "Bella, just start at the beginning, it is always the best place to start." Alice said to me her voice trembling with the emotion she was feeling. "Okay, thanks Ali." I said my voice was shaking and trembling and braking all over the place. I continued on, my voice still shaking like it had when I said those few words. "Well Hailey you know how mum meet and married Phil." I paused while I waited for her reply. All she did was nod her head and looked at me waiting for me to continue. I swallowed then and looked for a way to continue. "Well they were happy when they first got together and in their first year of marriage but all that changed not long after their first anniversary. Mum got a new job and she didn't have as much time for me or for Phil. He was busy also with his baseball and they barely spent any time together. Well one night he came home a little, well actually a lot intoxicated and he came into my room, I was still up and studying because I had a big test in a few days." I paused there and sobs broke from my chest, I curled my legs up and into my chest. I was physically shaking. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see who it was. I looked up into Jasper's face, he smiled a little at me. "It's okay Bella, take your time and just talk to us." He said in a whisper to me. I placed my hand over his and squeezed it a little. He turned his hand over and squeezed mine in return. I sighed. "Well that night was the first of many. That night was the night I lost a lot of things." Tears were rolling down my cheeks. "That was the night I lost my innocence, my virginity, everything that meant anything to me. He took it all. He took everything I was saving, everything I someday wanted to give to a man that loved me and that I loved in return. He took all of that." I cried then, sobs breaking from my chest, tears flowing like rivers from my eyes. I buried my face into my knees. My boding was shaking and I was waiting for someone to say something, anything. But I couldn't bring myself to look up at everyone so I kept my face buried.

"Oh my God." I heard Rosalie whisper. I still couldn't move. "Yeah, you could say that again Rose. Bella, are you alright sweetie. I can't believe he did that. I can't believe you have been through all that. Oh my God Bells." Hailey chocked out. She came over to me, pulling me into her embrace. She was rubbing my back in a comforting motion, she was trying to calm me down. I looked up then. "Yeah I've been all through that and more, which is why I ran. Why I ran here, I had to get away, I couldn't stand to be there anymore. I couldn't go through that anymore. I told my mum I wanted to come here and live with you and dad." I said all this is a little more than a whisper. I was then wrapped up in many arms. Everyone was hugging me, comforting me. I was shaking again, I wasn't expecting this, I was expecting everyone to hate, to be angry with me, not this, I was not expecting this. I started crying all over again. "Bella, Bells are you alright?" I heard a small voice asking me. But I couldn't tell who it was. "Why are you all being so nice to me? Why aren't you all angry at me?" I asked in a small voice, I was so confused by everyone's reaction. "Bella, Honey why would we be angry with you? None of what happened is your fault sweetie. You are not to blame for any of this, no matter what you think it was not your fault. Bells this happened to you not because of you or anything that you did. Bella... Bells..." I heard Alice say, I could hear the tears in her voice and she broke off at the end in tear filled sobs. "Bella everything Ali just said is the truth. Bells you have to believe us. This isn't your fault and we all love you." Hailey said, her voice breaking all over the place. I could sense the swirling emotions of everyone. "Wh... What do you mean? It was my fault, I was always told it was my fault. I don... don't understand." I stuttered out. I heard a collective sigh come from the people around me. "Bella you did nothing wrong." Emmett said in his loud voice. I was looking at them and I could see everyone nodding in agreement. I shook my head no in reply. Bella, please you have to understand this. This was not your fault, this was Phil fault, and it was his doing. You trusted him Bells, he abused that trust he abused you. This was in no way your fault. Trust me sis, trust us we are not lying to you. I don't know Hails, he would always blame me. He would always come in with his hands in a surrendering like gesture. Hails the things that happened to me, I could never tell, never explain. It hurts too much to think about, let alone actually talk about.

"Bells, you have to tell Charlie, you have to tell the police. He can't be allowed to get away with what he did to you. Bella what Phil did was very wrong, it is illegal." Edward said to me. "E I don't think Bells could handle that right now. You don't realise how long this has been happening, how long she has been keeping this locked inside of her. E she needs time, she needs our support and our love. She doesn't need the added stress from that. Let's give her some time, she has only just come out and told us and I don't think she would have done that, except for the fact that we witnessed her break down upstairs." Hailey said coming to my defence. I don't think I can ever do that Hails. I can't be the cause of mum's disappointment, her heartbreak. You know as well as I do if I ever said anything that it would kill mum, almost literally. I can't do that to her. I love her too much to ever tell anyone else. Please never make me do that. I can't do that. Please promise me, please swear to me that you won't ever make me tell anyone else. Please. I was pleading with her. Pleading to make her see things my way. Bells I can't make that promise. You know I will never force you to do anything, but Bells you need to tell this to dad or someone else that can do something to make sure he never does anything else like this again. Bells I know you feel like you will blame yourself for everything that happens between them, but it is not your fault. It is Phil's fault Bells, he is to blame for all of this. Please you have to believe me on this. I sighed out loud. I looked into Hails eyes and I could only see compassion and truth coming from within their depths, I could feel the same emotions coming off of her. I still didn't believe her.

AN: PLEASE READ THIS!!!

You can now read from here on.

"Guys, I'm sorry but I am really worn out. I really need to go to bed and get some sleep." I said to the group, while yawning. I was really worn out from all this emotional baggage that I had been made to deal with. All I really wanted to do was go and curl up in my bed for like the next week. "Yeah Bells, that is probably a good idea, you do look really worn out." Edward said to me. I stood up from the couch. "Guys I want to sleep in my room. I know you all normally stay out here together but please understand that I need to sleep in my own room." I said in a small voice. Everyone looked to me then, understanding and concern shining in their eyes. I felt bad for making then worry about me, for unloading all this drama on them. "Bells that's okay, we understand sweetie. We know you feel safer in there. We can all join you in there if you want." Ali said to me. I sighed, I wasn't sure about that. I didn't know if I wanted them all in there with me, I knew I needed time on my own, I needed to clear my head, but I also knew that they wanted to be there for me, be there with me. I sighed again in frustration. "If that is what you guys want." I replied disheartened. Hailey sensed this of course. "I think Bells may need some space you guys, need to be alone and sort all of this stuff out for herself." I looked over to her then, my face showing her 'thanks I owe you one' look.

I stood up then and made my way back upstairs and to the safety of my room. As soon as I entered my bedroom I sighed in relief. I was safe in here. I walked over to my bed and sat down on it. I could feel myself relaxing a little then. I crawled up the bed until my head hit the pillow. I relaxed into it. I curled up into a foetal position, feeling like I still needed to protect myself. I was surprised by how my friends had taken the bombshell I dropped on the about the reason I was here, the reason I ran. I thought they were all going to hate me and blame me, like I had been doing to myself since it started. I felt the tears well up in my eyes again and then start falling down my cheeks. I was so worn out both emotionally and physically. I was so drained I just needed a way to escape from reality even if it was only for a few hours.

I finally drifted to sleep after what seemed like hours with the tears still falling down my face. But my night wasn't peaceful or calming. My night was spent in nightmares, reliving memories I wished I could forget. I woke up to a pair of warm hands on me, gently shaking me, trying to wake me. I opened my eyes slowly and looked into a set of eyes as blue as the ocean. It was Jasper, I would know those eyes anywhere. I sighed internally and felt a small smile spread across lips. "Bella, Bella are you okay?" he questioned me as he reached out his hand and wiped the tears off that were falling down my cheeks. I hadn't even realised until then that I was crying. I raised my own hand up to my cheeks and wiped away the tears that had fallen then at my eyes trying to remove the tears forming there. I was still looking into Jasper's eyes then, "Jazz I'm okay. I am just relieving a few things that I wish I could forget." "Bella you screamed, and were mumbling in your sleep." I blushed, I was so embarrassed by this information. Jasper brought his hand back up to my cheek and was gently rubbing it. I nuzzled into his hand, pressing my cheek into the palm of his hand. A sense of calm and safety passed over me then. I had never felt safe like this with anyone in such a long time.

Jasper moved slightly beside me. I looked down and noticed the position he was in, he was kneeling on the floor sitting back on his heels. I knew as soon as I looked at him he wasn't comfortable in this position anymore. I sat up on the bed and Jasper looked me in the eye, obviously a little concerned with my rapid movement. I tried to convey to him through my eyes that everything was okay. I'm not sure if he got the message, but I decided to voice my idea, to have him sit up on the bed with me. "Jasper I am sure that you aren't comfortable their on the floor," I tapped the space I had just vacated above me. "sit here with me. I'm sure my bed is much more comfortable then the floor." I whispered to him, looking into my lap, I was feeling incredibly nervous and slightly embarrassed by asking something that could be completely mistrued. Jasper reached out and lifted my face so that I could meet his gaze. "Are you sure about this Bella, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way." I sighed. "Jazz, I can see how uncomfortable you are on the floor, please I feel better with you here and I feel safer." I said quietly. Jasper simply nodded and moved onto the bed. He sat at the head of the bed, his back resting up against the head rest and his legs stretched out on the length of my bed on top on the doona. I moved over a little further and waited for him to get comfortable. Once Jasper was settled I moved over and curled my length around his. My head resting in his lap, and my body pressed up against his. I felt Jasper stiffen beside me for a moment before he relaxed again. I sighed in contentment. I felt his fingers running through my hair, and that little movement caused me to relax even further into him. It didn't take me long to drift back to sleep.

I woke a few hours later and the sun was up and shining in through the window. I woke and was a little startled for a moment when I felt a warm body pressed up against me. It took me a few moments to realise that it was Jasper, the memories from him coming in last night both times ran through my head and I snuggled in a little more. It was a few minutes later that I felt Jasper move beside me. I looked up to him then and smiled at him, it was the first real genuine smile that I had smiled in weeks. Jazz smiled back at me. He lifted his hand again and started running it through my hair again. I was still looking up at him, smiling at him and I felt so at peace right then.

I thought then about getting up. I wanted to make breakfast for everyone, as a thank you gesture. I moved on the bed, my movement brought Jasper's attention back to me. "Bella what are you doing it's still early?" He questioned as he moved his arm to grab hold of my waist, pulling, me back to him. I snuggled into him for a second before I looked up into his gaze. "Jazz I'm going to get up and make breakfast for everyone." He sighed then. "Okay Darlin' let's get up then and go make the guys breakfast." I smiled again, enjoying him calling me darlin' and the way he said it with his southern twang. We got out of bed then, and I walked over to my draws looking for something else to wear. I pulled out a pair of track pants and a hoodie. I motioned to Jasper that I was going to change, he nodded in reply to me and I walked into the bathroom and changed. I came back out and found Jasper still sitting on my bed. "Have a good sleep Darlin'?" He asked me. "Yeah it got a whole lot better. Thanks. What about you? I don't think that you would have been all that comfortable sitting there." I sighed feeling bad about the way he had been sleeping for the past few hours. He got up and walked over to me, lifting my chin and looking into my eyes. "Bells that was one of the best night's sleep I've had. That was because of you Bella, I haven't been so relaxed in a long time." I blushed at his statement and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant every word of it. He cupped my cheek again and I nuzzled into it. "Come on Jazz let's go get started."