I ran through the drugstore, searching for what I needed. If this was really happening, I would just die. I couldn't do this. I reached the 'women's' aisle in the store and picked up what I needed. I stopped to gaze longingly at a young girl, about 13, buying pads. How I wish I was her. I knew she hated her period, she hated it. But she was wrong, she should love her period. After all, "you don't know what you have until it's gone."

I ran to the back of the store and went into the restroom that said "employees only." I should wait until I got home to do this, but that was too long a wait. I peed on five of those tiny sticks, the sticks that would make me the most grateful teenage girl in the world, or ruin my life. I stuffed in used ones in my book bag and sprinted to the front counter to pay for the pregnancy test.

Gulp. Pregnancy test.

I paid my $7.99 for the god damned ten-stick kit. The sales lady hit her disgust at me, but I was sure I was not the first teenage girl in the Seattle area to purchase a pregnancy test. "Have a nice day," she said. I started to run towards the door. I heard her yell "No running!" after me. I didn't listen.

I ran to my mom's home. I didn't call it my home, because it wasn't. However, it was my house. A house is a building to live in. A home is a place to feel warm and safe, to feel comforted and loved. That was never with my alcoholic-druggy mother.

I was starting to get winded but I kept pushing myself. Maybe, if I ran fast enough and far enough this problem would go away. Too soon, I reached my house. I ran upstairs to my bedroom and tore open my book bag. I dumped them on the bed and looked at the little screen.

They were all pink pluses.

***

I didn't waste any time starting at the stupid test like the girls in the movies do. I stuffed them all back in my bag without hesitation and left the house. I started to run back in the direction I had come, to Carly's.

Ten minutes, and a two cramped legs later I was standing in the elevator of Bushwell Plaza. Lewbert had yelled at me for running in his lobby, but I ignored him. I believe he through the stupid little service bell at me. Normally I would have gone back and beaten the crap out of him, but today was different. If today was real, and not a nightmare I would never get to do the "normal" stuff again.

I burst open Carly's front door, making Spencer spill Wahoo Punch all over himself. He yelled at me but I was looking for Carly. Thankfully, she was in her bedroom with the door closed. I burst through that door and almost scared her to death. "Sam!" she scolded. I pushed her out of my way and dumped the contents of my back pack on her bed. She walked over behind me and started complaining about how she didn't want all that junk on her "sanitized sleeping area."

I didn't care. I shuffled through books and fat cake wrappers, looking for the five tests. Carly shut up once she realized I wasn't just being rude. Her eyes narrowed at what was in my hand. I collected all five tests and lined them up. She bent down and started at them.

"Oh my God, Sam. You're pregnant?"

I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. I started to cry.

***

I don't know how long we stood like that. But it felt good. Carly was my best friend, and I needed comfort. She patted me on the back a few times, a bit awkwardly. Mostly, she just let me ruin her nice shirt with my tears and runny mascara. Finally she pulled me off her. With both hands on my shoulders she looked at me and said, "Why don't you take the other five. They might come up differently."

I took the box and went into the bathroom. I peed on the other sticks and let Carly in the room. We sat on the edge of the tub and held each other's hands. The wait time on the box was five minutes. I tapped my foot on the floor, Carly was motionless. Carly set the timer on her Pear Phone. After minutes – minutes that felt like years – it went off.

We got up and walked over to the counter where the tests sat. They were all positive. "Oh Sam," Carly tired to hug me again, but I pushed her away. I went back to her bedroom and sat down in my favorite orange fluffy chair. I started at the wall. What was I going to do?

A while later Carly came in carrying two glasses of Peppy Cola. I was sure she hadn't gone downstairs and told Spencer. Spencer and she were very close; they knew almost everything about each other. But, if she had told Spencer he would have screamed and I would have heard.

She handed me my drink and pushed my book bag crap off her bed. She sat down and sipped her Peppy Cola, the whole time staring at me. "Sam?" she said, timidly. I looked up. "Who's the father?"

I stared at her, long and hard. It was intense. So intense, that she knew before I could say it out loud. But she insisted, I don't think she could believe what she was in my eyes.

"Sam, who is the father?" she demanded. I took a gulp.

"Freddie."

***

It was my seventeenth birthday, April 14th. Freddie and I had been dating "officially" about four months. We were "friends with benefits" before that. Carly had thrown be a big party at her house. We had at least 30 guests. I had a huge pile of gifts. 50% of which, I would probably hate.

Never the less, I went to inspect them. I had a good size box from Carly, a HUGE box from Spencer (probably a sculptor), but I couldn't find Freddie's box. I expected him to get me something nice, something very nice. After all we had been dating long enough for me to expect something nice. I was starting to get worried when I felt his arms around me from behind.

"Looking for my present?" he whispered into my ear. I turned myself around to face him. A slow song came on the big stereo system. People in the room started to dance. Freddie and I were no exception. "Yes," I said guiltily. His eyes swept over me with something I had never seen in them before. It was almost… no, never mind. It couldn't be.

"It's that little box?" he pointed to a little jewelry box on the table next to my pile of gifts.

"Jewelry?" I asked, and started to pull away. I wanted to open my present.

"Wait Sam, not now. I have to leave after this dance, I want to be with you for this."

"You don't want to put my gift on me?" I asked, disappointed.

"I'll get to see it on you later. And you don't know its jewelry."

"Later?" I repeated. "I thought you were leaving?" before he could answer the song ended.

"Goodbye, love" he said, and kissed me. The kiss was sweet, passionate. My heart thumped at the word "love." He had told me he loved me on his seventeenth birthday. That was more of a birthday treat to me. But, maybe saying "I love you too" in response was a gift.

I went over to the little box and picked it up. "Not opening your presents already, Sam?" hollered a guy from my school. He sounded drunk, probably was. "No!" I laughed. But I had to open this box. I stuffed it into the side of my skirt, and let my arms hang down by my side to cover it up. I rushed over to the bathroom. Inside, I locked the doors and sat down on the bathtub.

I ripped off the wrapping paper, not pausing to look at the pretty pattern. It was a Macy's box. It was long, rectangular. It must be a necklace. I took a breath and open the tiny box. I gasped. It wasn't a necklace, it was the most beautiful bracelet I had ever seen.

The bracelet was sterling silver with diamonds cut into it. The little diamonds glistened and refracted the light. I could see a little area on the wall that looked like a flash light was being shown on it. It was my bracelet. The pattern formed a chain, identical to the pattern of a prison chain. Only my chain was beautiful. It must have cost Freddie a fortune.

I took the bracelet out of the box and put it on my wrist. It fix perfectly, hanging a little but not enough to fall off. The little bracelet looked like it was made to live on my wrist. I only wished Freddie could have put it on.

In the process of putting on my bracelet I dropped the box. "Shit," I muttered. Cussing was a habit of mine when something went wrong. Out of the box fluttered a little note. I opened it up and read.

Dear Sam –

Come to the hotel on St. James Blvd.

Room 418.

At 10 o'clock tonight.

I will be waiting.

Love, Freddie

I had to go to the hotel. After my party I was supposed to spend the night with Carly. I told her I wasn't feeling 100% and I needed to go home. For some reason, she believed me. But I was thankful. I hadn't paused to think of what Freddie I wanted, though, if I had I could have guessed.

I walked down the streets in my raincoat, it was Seattle after all. The rain was blowing at me and getting my hair wet even under the hat. It was chilly for April, I was getting flushed from the elements.

I stepped into the warm hotel, taking a moment to scan the room. It looked like a nice enough place. Way nicer than anything I would stay in with my mother, but shabby enough that Carly would never step foot in it. I walked over to the elevator and clicked the up arrow. I always loved clicking elevator buttons as a child. I went up to the fourth floor. I got out and started to walk down the hallway to room 418. On the way, I passed a fat man around his late 40s with a dirty white shirt and a Seattle Cobra's baseball cap. He started at me but I didn't make eye contact.

I was starting to get nervous as I approached room 418. But I got there without looking back and knocked. Freddie opened the door. He was wearing the same thing he had been at my party, but something was different about him. I could smell some cologne he had put on since then. But I think the change was in his personality.

"Sam" he said. He pulled me in the door. He started to kiss me. Once I pulled away to breath, he moved down to my neck. The room was covered in candles; the lights were dimmed, almost turned off. The bed was huge, and looming. I realized what was happening. I inhaled, sharply. He stopped and looked at me. "No?" he asked. I looked around. Did I want this? I had never taken this fantasy seriously; I had never thought Freddie would be serious about doing it either. I looked in his eyes. They said it all. They told me they loved me, they told me that he wanted me.

"Yes," I whispered. He picked me up and carried me to the bed, where there was no more talking for the rest of the night.

***

I returned from my flashback to hear Carly yelling at me. "SAM! You and Freddie had sex? EW! Yuck! I can't even imagine that! I've known you both since like before fourth grade! EW, EW. My two oldest friends had sex… ew."

"Yes, Carly. We had sex. And now I am pregnant." It was like a knife through my stomach, those words. Carly's eyes, which were filled with anger, melted. "Oh Sam…" she said, and pulled me into another hug.