Sealed

Disclaimer: I own nothing; Dick Wolf owns everything

Rating: T

Summary: I hate writing anything not cannon, but I just couldn't pass this up. A/U, Elliot never reconciled with Kathy. They have an amicable relationship, but his eye is on Olivia. Post Undercover, circa PTSD. Olivia finally comes clean about what happened in the basement, but she's having trouble with romantic relationships.

"HELP ME!" Olivia's screams tore through the night. Elliot flicked on the light next to the bed and looked over at her. She was thrashing about in the bed, eyes still closed, and tears sliding down her cheeks. "No…" she whimpered.

"Liv, Liv! Wake up!" Elliot pinned her arms to avoid being hit by her. "Come on, Liv, wake up!" Her eyes flew open, and Elliot released his grip on her arms. Terror filled her brown eyes for the second time that night. She reached up to touch his arms.

"Elliot…" she said between ragged breaths. "Oh, God, Elliot, he was here a minute ago. He was right here, on top of me, raping me…"

"It's ok, Liv. No one's here except me. You've been here the entire time." He pushed her hair away from her sweat soaked face. She sat up and pushed herself into a ball bracing against the headboard. When the adrenaline surge started to fade, and she no longer felt like she wanted to jump out of her skin, she stood up and headed for the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Elliot asked.

"Washing every trace of that asshole off my body." she called from behind the closed door. Elliot heard the water start to run, and he turned toward the kitchen. He filled her tea kettle with water and flicked on the stove. While he waited for the water to heat, he went to her closet and extracted a fresh set of sheets. He quickly changed them, and returned to the kitchen. He glanced back over at the bathroom door. He wished he could take her pain away from her, bear it himself somehow. Every time her eyes went glassy or filled with terror felt like a knife in his heart. There was just something about sex crimes that did far more damage to the victims than any other crime. The kettle whistled just as he heard the water shut off. He poured the water into her favorite mug, added a bag of chamomile tea, and sweetened it to her exact specifications. She emerged from the bathroom, clad in a fresh set of pajamas, with angry red blotches all over her body from where she must have scrubbed herself raw. Picking up the cup in one hand, Elliot extended the other to her.

"Here, Liv, have a seat." She sat on the sofa and took the cup from him.

"You didn't have to go to all of this trouble, Elliot." She took a sip, noting that he had prepared it perfectly.

"It wasn't any trouble. Besides, you need to relax or you'll never get back to sleep." He paused for a moment. "Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" She gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Well, it always seems to work on my kids. It gets it out of their heads." She leaned into him, with her back facing his chest.

"I feel safer here with you." she said, bringing the cup to her lips again. He curled his arms around her, protecting her.

"Tell me, Liv. Get the demons out of your head." he said, almost in a whisper. She nodded her head and drew in a breath.

"I was back at Sealview, reliving the whole thing. Only this time, Fin didn't make it. There was nothing to stop Harris, so he raped me. I could feel him, inside me, sweating on top of me. He kept threatening to kill me, even if I did behave. I couldn't fight him…I couldn't…" she started to cry again. Elliot took the cup from her hands and set it on the table before she spilled any of the hot liquid on herself. He carefully lifted her into his lap and cradled her while she wept.

"It's ok, Liv. He didn't rape you, now or then. And Fin did get to you in time. He was there for you then, and I'm here for you now. Go on, let it all out." He stroked her hair as he spoke. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she closed them, just for a moment. Elliot felt her breathing slow. Sleep had taken her again. He scooped her up in his arms , carried her into her bedroom and laid her carefully into bed. Then he walked around to the other side.

"Elliot…" she moaned, half asleep as he was climbing in.

"I'm right here, Liv" he said as he gently placed a protective arm around her. Her head returned to its restful state on the pillow, and she was fast asleep again.

"Sleep well, Love." he whispered in her ear. He watched her sleep for a while. She looks so peaceful. he thought before drifting off to sleep himself. God, please let her stay that way.

XxXxX

Olivia awoke the next morning with the familiar headache she always got when she cried herself to sleep. She glanced over at the other side of the bed only to find it empty. Her nose was assaulted with the smell of bacon and eggs coming from her kitchen.

"Morning." she said as she emerged from the bedroom. Elliot was standing over a pan, flipping eggs. He looked over at her and flashed a smile.

"Eggs, bacon, and hash browns ok with you?" he asked as he scooped the food onto a plate.

"Where did all of this come from? All I have in my fridge is leftover Chinese and a jar of pickles." She slowly worked her way over to the counter where he had set the plate. "All that's missing is the…" He picked up a mug and turned back to her.

"Coffee?" he said, placing the mug next to the plate. "I promise, Munch didn't make it, so it's perfectly safe. And, to answer your question, I ran to the market on the corner for a few staples." She glanced at the clock. 11:00am. She had practically slept through the entire morning. "C'mon, let's eat." he said, taking a second plate and cup over to the table. Olivia picked hers up and followed.

"You didn't have to do all of this, El." she said.

"I wanted to. You had a rough night last night." Her face fell as she remembered the nightmare and how he had taken care of her.

"Yeah, about that…I'm sorry. And, I understand if you don't want to stay again." she said.

"Wait, are you asking me to stay with you again?" She twisted her face, clearly conflicted as to how to answer that question. "Because if you are, the answer is yes. I won't say last night didn't affect me or bother me, because it did. It affected me because I fell even farther in love with you, which I didn't think was possible. And it bothered me because I can't understand how anyone could someone as amazing as you." She blushed slightly.

"Amazing, huh? I wake up screaming my head off, and you think it's adorable. I'm not sure how to take that one, El." He simply reached over and took her free hand into his.

"So, things are pretty quiet at the precinct. Our perps won't be heading to court until Monday. What do you have planned for this gorgeous Saturday?"

"Same thing I do every Saturday. Group therapy, which stays between the two of us. Speaking of which, I need to get moving." she stood and picked up the plate. Elliot quickly stood and took it from her.

"No. You go get dressed. I'll take care of all of this."

XxXxX

Olivia took her usual place in one of the nine folding chairs arranged in a circle with her legs curled up under her, joined by the same seven other women and therapist she saw every Saturday. She tried to focus on what one of the women was saying, but she found her mind wandering.

"Olivia? Olivia? Are you with us?" the therapist asked. She snapped back into reality.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You looked a million miles away. Anything you want to share?"

"I had another nightmare last night." Olivia said.

"Do you want to tell us about it?" the therapist asked. Olivia rehashed her tale of Harris standing over her, actually raping her this time. She listened while the others validated her feelings and the therapist gave her two cents. She walked out of the room, feeling slightly better than when she walked in.

XxXxX

"Hey, 'Wesson' isn't a real word!" Olivia said between laughs over the Scrabble board.

"Sure it is." Elliot said.

"Use it in a sentence."

"I'm protected by Smith & Wesson." The both broke out into giggles.

"Ok, ok…I'll take it back." He remove the tiles and replaced them.

"'The?' That's what you can come up with?" she asked, giggling again.

"I told you, Liv, I'm terrible at Scrabble. Now, if you want to give Backgammon a go, I'll wipe the floor with you." Olivia laid down her tiles.

"'Quiz.' Game's over. No more torture." She had beaten him, 320 to 110. It was getting late. They put the game away and settled on the couch.

"Are you sure you want to stay tonight? You'd probably get more sleep at your place." Olivia said.

"Are you kicking me out? Because I want to sleep wherever you are, if you'll have me." She gave him a genuine smile, and leaned in to kiss him. Elliot thought she tasted incredible. He pulled back.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. I just don't want to trigger another flashback for you." She was genuinely touched by his concern. She straddled him and looked him directly in the eye.

"We'll stop before we get to that point." She said, undoing the buttons on her top. From where she was, she was looking down at him. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he had already witnessed two of her flashbacks. And yet, here she wash, peeling her shirt from her body, giving him full view of her black lace covered breasts. She reached around his shoulders and drew his mouth to hers for another kiss.

"Tell me what you want me to do." Elliot said.

"Touch me." she replied. He placed his hands hesitantly on her back. After she steadied herself, he ran his hands along her back. He wanted to unhook her bra for better access, but he wouldn't until she had said so. Her skin was so smooth and soft, covering the taut muscles of her back.

"Take it off." she whispered. His hands went to the clasp, removing her bra and freeing her breasts. He tossed the garment aside, and returned to exploring the newly exposed flesh. She continued to kiss him, running her hands down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. She ran her hands over his chest, tracing the outlines of each muscle, perfectly maintained by all of his hours in the gym. She looked into his face and saw the face of Lowell Harris.

She put her hands over his, interrupting his exploration of her chest.

"Elliot, stop. I can't do this." She pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch to her chest and climbed off of his lap.

"It's ok, Liv. I understand." He brushed the hair away from her forehead. "There's no need for you to push it." Her eyes hadn't gone glassy or terror-filled, so he knew she hadn't had a flashback, but he also knew her well enough to know that she was beating herself up.

"You said 'no,' and I respect that. You're the one in control, not me, and not Harris. You did an incredible job, and I'm glad you shared what you did with me. That must take a lot of courage." He gauged her reaction. She didn't look like she was going to fall apart. In fact, she had the look on her face he had seen every time she had seen a rapist convicted. Satisfaction. He spoke again. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you go and get yourself settled while I take a shower?" She nodded and made her way into the bedroom. Elliot went to the bathroom and took the coldest shower he had ever taken in his life. When he returned, he found Olivia curled on her side with the TV playing a rerun of NYPD Blue. He climbed into bed, placed his arm around her waist, as he always did, and waited for her to fall asleep.

"Elliot?" she whispered.

"Yeah, Liv?"

"Turn the TV off."

Please review! I've enjoyed your comments from the first two chapters. Keep reviewing, and I'll keep writing. Chapter 4 is on its way!