Author's notes: I wanted to post up pretty much all of the story at once. I guess 2/3 chapters is darn close right? I guess I can leave you guys in suspense! But I really do hope you enjoyed this story so far. Stick around for more!

Summary: And while he is gone, she spends her days in loneliness. She tries to reach out to him but can never graze his presence. Alone, alone, alone. That is the resonating music of her soul.

For a while, Cloud's pretense of a long delivery trip worked. She still calls cheerfully to remind him to eat a lunch or asks for supplies from local markets that she think he might pass by. She doesn't really pay much heed to how he doesn't pick up his PHS during those phone calls. He must be busy, she reasons. He must not have service, she tells herself. Tifa still tidies up his room when she cleans the house. She still prepares a late dinner for him, sitting on the counter waiting to be heated just in case he was going to be coming home.

But when a week passes by and not a word has passed between them, suddenly she knows. Knows that he has left and won't be coming back. Knows that he led her to believe he was out for a delivery trip to avoid confrontation and needing to explain himself. The comprehension strikes at her heart.

Somewhere in the deep depths of her mind and heart, Tifa has always acknowledged that one day Cloud would take off. But despite this, her heart had created a family in which he was included. Her heart had continued to harbor feelings for him. Always believed that despite what the bright signs that went up in her mind, he was going to fulfill her fantasy one day and told her he loved her. Told her what she could sometimes see in his glowing eyes.

At first, there is self loathing. What had she done to driven him away? Was it too much too soon? Had she not spoken enough? Spoken too much? Done too little or done too much? What did she do? What did she do? And then there is hatred for him. Why did he have to hurt her so? Why did he live in the past and not the present? Why couldn't he love her?

Later it was just nothing but overwhelming loneliness and it was the current boat of emotion she was riding on. Perhaps she was always meant to be alone. She was meant to be uncared for and loved. Perhaps she was just too much for anyone to take: her scarred body, her children, her fighting skills that could defeat about any man, and her history. Yes that was it, her fault for just not being enough.

Tifa has never been an insecure person. And for brief moments throughout the next couple of days, she allows herself to wallow there in a pit she digs. But then when she sees Marlene struggling to make her and Denzel breakfast, Tifa resolves to be strong. She's always been strong. Always had managed to find a way to continue fighting when there was losing hope.

So she spends her days tending to the bar, glaring at customers who look doubtingly at Denzel and the telling black scar. She spends her evenings taking care of two kids who have become hers. Early nights tucking them into bed and sleeping beside them to scare off nightmares and reading bedtime stories. She puts all of herself into making them know that she's there for them and taking care of them. She'll be enough for them, she thinks to herself.

But late nights? Late nights, there was nothing but the echo of loneliness. She knows she's never shared a bed with Cloud but just knowing that either he was down the hall or will be down the hall, sleeping so close, she'd never felt lonely. She let herself hope that someday they would share a bed. But late at night when Tifa falls away from reality into the dreams her subconscious brews, she wakes up with dry tracks of tears on her cheeks because her hope for her dreams just seem to be running further and further away from her.

There are days when she forgets the life that Cloud and her almost shared. Those days are days she enjoys the most because she feels that her smiles and her efforts are less strained. But phone calls that ring around the bar reminds her of the reality that he had left the life that almost shared.

Tifa still calls him. They had gone from happily telling him news of daily life that he had missed and telling him to come home to simple curt messages of the latest customer that had called for him. She had stopped hoping for him to pick up his PHS. Tifa slowly just begins to erase him out. She keeps his bedroom door closed. There are no dinners set aside for him.

But still Tifa keeps the ring he's given her. She lets herself hold onto the tiniest speck of hope but pushes it in the far corner of her mind. As she's living her life after Cloud has gone, she finds herself somewhat…happy. Content that somehow with what has happened, she's going to survive and be okay.

When a man hits on her and flirts with her, Tifa can't escape by how wrong it feels. The men won't have spiky blonde hair and child-like but not so innocent bright blue eyes. They won't know her like he does. And she won't ever know them like she would him. And it digs holes in her already worn heart.

Lonely, lonely, lonely!

The children don't speak of him. They know how much pain it brings to her. Denzel, who had once found Cloud a hero, finds him bittersweet. Still a hero but still a man who has bought such pain to a new found loved person. Marlene feels sad and she buries the drawings she'd done of a 'happily ever after' Cloud and Tifa under her bed. When she draws family pictures, Cloud is no longer in it. He had transitioned from scary new stranger, to another dad and almost lover of Tifa, to misplaced friend. When she does draws pictures of Cloud and Tifa on the same page, she rips it and throws it out. She doesn't want Tifa to find it and become sad.

They stick to Tifa and fill her days with as much things they could. When Tifa is busy and distracted, she is happy. She is strong and the children love her best that way. She loves herself best that way. But when Marlene and Denzel see the rare sight of children walking with fathers, they feel lonely too. For those thoughts, they feel shame too. Tifa should be enough but they can't help but miss the silently loving man.

And so while he is gone, loneliness is the thing that echoes across those he left behind. They wonder had Cloud ever loved them? Had he ever wanted them?

And it is all tested when they're threatened.

Author's notes: This goes on to the events of Advent Children if you can't tell! Enjoy! I am writing up Umbrella up right now. For those who are wondering, there will be a NEW link to it!