Title: Training Wreck
Summary: A Tale as old as time, and true as it can be. Both a little scared, neither one prepared… You know where this is going. Beauty and the Beast with a twist. Toothless/Hiccup.
Warning: Eventual slash, mature themes, I guess.
Disclaimer: What part of FAN FICTION is hard to understand? I don't own Beauty and the Beast, and I don't own How to Train Your Dragon. They belong to whoever they do. I'm not here to make money; I'm just here to entertain.
For the rest of the day, Hiccup was in father-acceptance induced heaven. He drifted in and out of the Ingermans' bookshop and Gobber's blacksmith shop, collecting things he might need, asking questions about anything hunting–related he could think of, and generally annoying the heck out of both Gobber and Fishlegs.
"For the last time, Hiccup," Fishlegs would say exasperatedly, "No, there aren't any books about hunting dragons besides the ones you already have."
"Are you sure?" Hiccup would ask, only half paying attention.
"Yes, I'm sure. Go bother Gobber for a while." Fishlegs would wave him away. And he would go to Gobber, who would say pretty much the same thing, only about weapons that could slay dragons.
They spent most of the rest of the day like that, But Gobber and Fishlegs didn't mind, really. They were mostly happy to see Hiccup so excited. They weren't the only ones, however.
Spitelout, Snotlout's father, was an ambitious man, and unscrupulous, but not necessarily in that order. He was Stoick the Vast's younger brother, though you wouldn't know it from looking at him. Whereas Stoick had red hair and a full beard, Spitelout had black hair and a (mostly) shaven face. Where Stoick was, well, vast, Spitelout was lean and muscled, though they were pretty much the same height. But Most Importantly, while Stoick's eyes were kind and smiling, Spitelout's were unfathomable and just a little cruel.
Spitelout had always been jealous of Stoick for becoming chief of the tribe, though over the years, he'd learned to hide it well. But he wasn't hiding it very well right now. The cogs and gears in his head turned as he saw Hiccup making his way back and forth across town. He knew that Hiccup was going to the inland lake west of Raven's Peak the day after tomorrow (Gobber didn't know how to keep his mouth shut). If he had an accident on the way there…
Spitelout thought about it, but no. If Stoick lost his heir, a substitute wouldn't necessarily have to be in the family. It would have to be the most promising child of the same generation. And, regretfully, that wasn't his son. It was that girl, Astral or something. Spitelout shuddered at the thought of a woman leading the Hairy Hooligans. Only the Bog Burglar barbarians did that.
'But if I get my son married to that Hiccup, then he'd be Stoick's son-in-law, technically making him an heir too!'
And just like that, Spitelout decided he'd marry his son to that Hiccup, and then maybe afterwards he'd kill him.
Spitelout left the pub and headed towards the part of the forest he knew his son and his friends used as a training area. There was a formal one in Burk, but it was mainly used by young men who had time on their hands and veterans who wanted to stay in shape, not fifteen year olds who didn't know their swords from their shields.
When he entered the clearing, the Thorston twins were wrestling on the ground, pretty evenly matched. His own son was barely holding his own with that girl Astral in a swordfight.
'Well, not really my son,' Spitelout tried to make himself feel better as Snotlout received a particularly hard hit on the head with a wood-covered sword. Snotlout had been left on his doorstep years ago when he was just a baby. It was a sign from the gods. He was being given a perfectly healthy baby boy while his brother got, well, Hiccup. He thought that made it perfectly clear who the chief should have been, but no. He never got anything he wanted. He had to take everything for himself. And he would too, eventually.
"Thanks for waiting dad." Snotlout jogged up to his father. He had seen him there a few minutes ago, and had tried to finish the fight as quickly as he could, but Astrid hadn't wanted to let him go until she did the Berserker's Bash right. Which, you can imagine, took some time.
Spitelout looked down at his son. Right. "Come with me." He started walking.
Snotlout ran back to get his things, said goodbye to his friends, and caught up to his dad.
"What's up?" Snotlout asked, trying to sound casual. His father wasn't the warmest person in the world, and didn't exactly seek him out to ask how his day was.
"Son," Spitelout began. "How do you feel about that Hiccup?"
Spitelout thought his son did a great job concealing his thoughts. He was so proud!
"He's okay, I guess. He should totally work out more if he wants to match these babies." Snotlout flexed his arm, showing off his muscles.
Spitelout resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'Patience' He told himself. 'He's still just a child.'
"You see, I overheard back in town that he's going out to Raven's Peak to go hunt dragons." Spitelout explained. Snotlout's expression, which he really couldn't hide this time, told the man where to go from there.
"He's, well, he's not strong, son, at least not like you." He made a 'worried' face. "I'm just concerned that, well, he might get hurt trying to impress his father."
"Stoick," he continued, "He's not a bad father, son, I don't want you thinking that. I just think he's trying to make Hiccup into something he's not, and I think that's dangerous." Spitelout was delighted with his son's reaction. Perfect.
"Dad!" He was clearly upset about it. "We've got to do something, he could get seriously mauled, even by just a Terror! If he—"
"Calm down," Spitelout told his son, "See, it's a horrible state of affairs, right? So I got to thinking, and here's my idea. Marry Hiccup."
Snotlout tripped. "But he— and I— We don't—We're—" He sputtered. "That doesn't solve anything!" He finally got out.
"Hear me out," cajoled Spitelout. "To my thinking, here's what would happen. If you marry that Hiccup, you have an excuse to protect him as much as you want. And since you're both technically heirs, between the two of you, no one would be able to take away the chieftainship."
"I don't know, dad." Snotlout replied, unsure. "I don't think that's a great plan. It could work, maybe, if he—"
"It's decided then!" Spitelout pretended not hear. "I'll arrange the wedding feast, you go propose."
Spitelout broke away and headed to Burk's town square. Snotlout was surprised to find that they had walked all the way to the chief's house. Maybe he could talk Hiccup into not going hunting for dragons. He approached the dwelling gingerly, almost sneakily, but he might as well not have bothered. The house was empty. All he could find were Hiccup's woefully over packed bags. He removed some of the least necessary things (like books), and put in some of the more necessary things (like firestones and his extra dagger).
'Odin's beard, the dragons are going to have a field day with him.' He thought. His father's plan, it was stupid, but letting Hiccup go would be pure madness. He left, thinking things over very carefully indeed.
Unbeknownst to Spitelout, if he'd thought to check the clearing behind the house, he'd have found Hiccup training with Gobber and Fishlegs. Both had finally gotten fed up with the boy, and decided that Hiccup was going to annoy them anyway, he might as well have some bruises to show for it. Well, that was Gobber, anyway. Fishlegs just wanted to go back to the store and read. Or look for the others and hang out. Anything would have been better than watching Hiccup struggle with the sword.
"Put your back into it!" bellowed Gobber from his perch on a large rock. Hiccup swung the sword, but even Fishlegs could repel that attack, and he did, with ease.
"This isn't working! Let's try something else." Fishlegs insisted.
"No! I can do this!" Hiccup was adamant. But, remember, this was the first time he'd ever held a sword to use it, not just to sharpen it, or to put designs on it, or to make one from scratch.
"Hiccup, it's hopeless. Let's try something else." Said Gobber a few minutes later, after Fishlegs knocked the sword out of Hiccup's hands for the umpteenth time. Fishlegs sighed with relief while Hiccup sighed with disappointment.
Gobber held up a bow and a quiver of arrows. "Let's try these." He threw them to Hiccup, who caught the bow, but not the quiver. Arrows went everywhere. As Hiccup and Fishlegs bent to collect them, Gobber called out ("Fishlegs!") and threw him a shield that had a bull's-eye painted clumsily on its surface. Fishlegs paled.
"You can't be serious!" He sounded panicked, starting to edge away from Hiccup until the entire clearing separated them
"Oh, but I am. Go for it, Hiccup!" Gobber looked positively evil.
"Come on, Fishlegs!" Hiccup pleaded, already nocking an arrow into his bow. At least he was taking the proper stance, arms at eye level and legs braced a shoulder's width apart.
"I've done this before—" and Hiccup released the arrow. The good news was that the arrow flew straight enough, certainly straighter than Gobber or Fishlegs thought it would. The bad news was that it fell short, burying itself at Fishlegs' feet.
"That's not fair! There must be something wrong with this bow's draw-weight! Gobber, what kind of wood is this? It looks kind of like yew, but—"
"Hiccup!" Gobber interrupted. "That is not the problem! If the target is far away, you…?" Gobber gestured to Fishlegs, who was still trying to hide behind a shield that was nowhere near large enough.
"Oh." Understanding dawned on Hiccup. Moving target practice. "Right. Get ready Fishlegs!" He nocked another arrow.
"Odin help me, aim, Hiccup, aim!"
"Maybe I would if you'd stop moving—!"
"BWAHAHAHA—" Gobber chocked on his amusement.
And they spent the rest of the morning like that. For almost an hour, Hiccup ran after (and shot arrows at) his friend, who ran away just as fast, while Gobber laughed his head off.
"Hey, no fair!" Ruffnut's voice suddenly rang through the clearing. "I didn't know Gobber was giving training sessions!"
"Who cares?" Tuffnut's voice followed predictably. "It's not like I need training, anyway. I'm already the best this place's got— "
Tuffnut flicked his hair. Astrid disagreed with him by catching hold of his fingers and bending them back. Tuffnut fell over; Ruffnnut laughed.
"No you're not."
"Ow, I am hurt, I am hurt very bad!"
"So," Astrid looked at Hiccup "Can we join you, or is this a private training session?"
(After Snotlout had left, the three of them couldn't decide how to train, so they had gone looking for Fishlegs to make the teams at least even.)
Hiccup and Fishlegs looked at each other. Training with Astrid, not to mention the twins, did not Sound Like Fun. At least, not if you didn't enjoy pain.
Of course, Gobber had to say "Sure! In fact, we'd welcome you! Hiccup's about to go off slaying dragons, so we need all the help we can get!"
The three newcomers were silent for a moment. While it wasn't as important as fighting the other tribes, the death rate for dragon slayers was much higher.
"Finally, man, some balls. I was beginning to doubt you had—" Tuffnut didn't get to finish his sentence. Ruffnut elbowed him in the stomach while Astrid stomped on his foot.
"Let's go!" Astrid said, overly enthusiastic. "What do we do first?"
"Well," Gobber rubbed his chin with his remaining hand. "I think we can pretty much agree his sword fighting's hopeless."
"Yeah." ("Hey!")
"And his archery's as good as it's going to get for now…"
"How about we work on evading capture?" Ruffnut suggested, evil glint in her eye.
"That way, even if he can't kill the dragon, it can't kill him." Astrid added.
"Good idea, Ruffnut!" Gobber agreed. "Hiccup, pay attention. They," Gobber pointed to the Astrid, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut. "Will be trying to kill you."
("I'm not loving it so far." Hiccup said under his breath)
"And you will try to not get killed while trying to take their weapons, which you'll give to Fishlegs here."
Everyone looked at Fishlegs. He gave a small wave.
"You three will not be allowed to take your weapons from Fishlegs, but, as always, Hiccup is fair game. If he manages to take one weapon from all of you and give them to Fishlegs, he wins."
'Yeah, right, like that would ever happen.' Four minds thought privately. (That was everyone except Hiccup himself and Fishlegs, who was always trying to have more confidence in his friend.)
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" Gobber barked.
Hiccup stood nervously as the three of them began to surround him.
"Well, don't just stand there Hiccup! Do something!" Fishlegs hollered, trying to be encouraging.
"I'm thinking!" Hiccup hollered right back. The three of them were getting closer…
Suddenly, as if by a secret signal, they all ran at him! Hiccup didn't know which way to turn, unable to decide who he was most afraid of, and so ended up buried under three struggling bodies.
"I've got him!"
"That's me, you idiot!"
"With the two of you get off!"
Hiccup wiggled out from under the pile, holding Ruffnut's dagger as he ran full speed towards Fishlegs.
"Go Hiccup!" Cheered Fishlegs. Unfortunately, that made Hiccup's pursuers realize that 'Hey, he's not here anymore!'.
They untangled themselves, but it was too late. Four shocked faces Hiccup threw the dagger to Fishlegs, who caught it triumphantly.
"Whoo! Go Hiccup!" He cheered again.
Gobber had an astonished smile on his face. "Well done, Hiccup! There may be hope for you yet!"
But Hiccup wasn't feeling very hopeful. The three of them surrounded him again, but this time with a different strategy. Ruffnut jumped at him first, being the smallest risk since Hiccup had already taken a weapon from her. She caught him in a bear hug, and laughed as Hiccup struggled to get loose.
"You should be thankful, Hiccup! Guys would kill to be in your—"
Hiccup reached up and grabbed one horn of her helmet, pulling it over her eyes. She immediately let go to fix it, and Hiccup ran. He was free!
But not for long, it seemed. Even as Astrid ran to help Ruffnut, Tuffnut ran at Hiccup, sword out held above his head. Hiccup's eyes widened.
"Tuffnut, are you insane?"
Hiccup turned around, but Ruffnut was free. She and Astrid ran at him. 'What to do, what to do…!' Hiccup thought, panicking. He made a decision.
'If Tuffnut isn't going to play fair, then…'
Hiccup turned back around and ran right into Tuffnut. This disoriented the larger boy only for a second, but that was all Hiccup needed. Hiccup kneed him in the groin. Hard.
Tuffnut tumbled to the ground. Hiccup himself winced in sympathy, and he could faintly hear Gobber's laughter from somewhere far, far away, but he was too full of adrenaline to pay attention.
"Oh, Thor's—" Tuffnut made a gargling sound at the back of his throat. "Not fair! Not Fair! Not Fair!"
Hiccup picked up the sword from where Tuffnut had dropped it and ran to Fishlegs.
"That's two!" Fishlegs was suitably awed. "I've got to say Hiccup, I'm impressed! I— Look out!"
Astrid swung her axe at Hiccup, trying to scare him. Fishlegs ran out of the way while Hiccup backed up, dodging (even if Astrid wasn't really going to hit him. Right?).
Astrid was so busy swinging and making sure Hiccup could dodge what she threw at him that she didn't notice the tree behind him until she hit it.
Thunk!
Her axe buried itself into the trunk of the tree. She struggled to pull it out and, after a moment, Hiccup joined her. Together they pulled it out. Astrid turned now to Hiccup to pull it out if his hands, but something tugged at her skirt, distracting her.
Hiccup pulled the axe out of her hands. She saw a dagger pinning her to the tree. 'Sneaky.' She nodded approvingly as she pulled it out.
"I've got it! I've got it!" Hiccup yelled as he ran.
"Hiccup, give me back my axe!" Astrid threw the dagger aside and gave chase.
"Make me, you lunatic!" was his reply.
It was the last round, Tuffnut was still down, and Hiccup had managed to get Astrid's axe. Ruffnut stopped laughing at her brother and joined Astrid. the two girls gave it everything they got.
But if there was one thing to be said about Hiccup, he was great at running away. This way and that, he dodged. Not even Astrid could keep him in a hold. He wriggled out of both their hands like a slippery eel.
"What are you, part eel!" Astrid cried angrily, getting frustrated that Hiccup of all people could escape her so consistently. "You're cheating!"
"Am not!" Hiccup was getting close to Fishlegs, the two girls hot on his heels.
Finally, Ruffnut managed to catch him by the scruff of his vest just as Hiccup threw Astrid's axe to Fishlegs. It didn't make it.
"Aha!" Ruffnut yelled. But, in a manner that reminded them all of a snake-type dragon unhinging its jaws, Hiccup drew back his arms and slid out of his vest, not even losing his momentum. He picked up the sword and threw it again, just as the two girls tackled him from behind.
It landed right between Fishlegs' feet.
"Odin's beard," Fishlegs picked up Astrid's axe almost reverently. "Hiccup wins." He whispered.
"Hiccup wins!" Gobber yelled, overjoyed as well. 'Wait until I tell Stoick..!'
Hiccup, who was at this point too tired to wriggle out from under Astrid and Ruffnut, didn't hear. He was pleasantly surprised that the girls helped him up after getting off him, but was astonished when they put him up on their shoulders. His face colored and he tried to get down, but the girls were having none of it.
"You did it, Hiccup!" Astrid cried. Although she technically hated to lose, this was a victory for all them, somehow.
"Way to go!" Ruffnut cheered, raising her free arm to shake her fist in the air. "That was great!" She said. "I can't believe we haven't done that before!"
Hiccup looked behind him and saw Gobber, Fishlegs, and Tuffnut marching behind them. Even from his perch, Hiccup could see that Tuffnut was walking funny.
All the way down to Burk's only pub, they made their way, like a demented parade. When they got there, they proceeded to drink until they couldn't anymore, talking about battle strategies, dragons, and what have you. Hiccup brought Tuffnut a drink as an apology, to which Tuffnut replied, "Are you kidding? You're kick didn't hurt, I just wanted to give you a chance was all.", but he accepted it anyway, because who turned down a drink?
It was the first time Hiccup had hung out with the three of them without Snotlout there to act as a buffer. He had a blast. When it was getting late and everyone was heading home, Hiccup was still smiling. Even as he fell into bed, boots and aches and pains and all, (And he'd have to remember to go out back to get his stuff tomorrow), he was still smiling.
'Definitely the best day ever.' He yawned. 'Can't wait for tomorrow.'
A/N: The overwhelming majority spoke, and it was awesome. I thought I get, well, 5 replies, 10 at most, but I got more along the lines of 30! I really appreciate that people took time out of their precious day to reply and with such promptness!
The verdict is that the story remains intact, as I hoped it would, under one title only! Yay! Adequate warnings shall be provided and, I hope, be heeded.
Rest assured, I won't be making a habit of posting notes like that as chapters. As many of you have pointed out, I am the author, so I guess I should stop trying to please everybody. That doesn't mean I won't listen to and appreciate suggestions (and criticisms, and ideas, and whatever-you-see-fit-to-send), but if I feel a story would be best served by a particular event, then I guess I think I should have first prerogative.
Anyway, I posted this late, and I'm sorry to everyone. I had trouble with this chapter. Mostly because of the length, which is actually enough for three, maybe four, of my usual chapters. To head off some questions, Hiccup's not particularly bent on hunting dragons, actually. Think of it as football. Stoick enjoys football, so to gain approval, Hiccup starts memorizing how many passes got fumbled by his dad's favorite team last season, or something else totally obscure about the sport.
To skyinthenightslove: wow, so many questions! And the truth is, I don't know the answers to some of them either! But I will tell you this: being a good blacksmith is an important part of Hiccup's personality, so we may come back to that later.
Please don't hesitate to ask questions, which I actually enjoy answering. As always, much love to the people who read, and hugs to those who give feedback!