AN: Wow. Long time no update. Whadya want me to say? Oh, school. Yeah. School. I died when school started. Moving on...So yes. I'd just like to say that this is from Ziva's POV, because I felt that this had to be written down. Maybe she's worried for Tony after last season, maybe not. But still. This is what I think she'd be thinking. Oh well.
Disclaimer: I already miss these guys, you know.
Once I was too young to get too deep; too attached.
And once I was too young to feel the pain from all of this.
Yes, that was when I was young.
Now, I'm not young. Not anymore.
He said that men don't have biological clocks.
I'm still convinced that they do. That even women do.
No, it is not what you think.
I am not desperate.
I am Former Assasin / Mossad Liaison Officer , now NCIS Special Agent Ziva David, and I am never desperate.
But believe it or not, now, of all days, my mind and my heart chose to become desperate.
For what?
For him.
For the fact that he was not there.
He was not there when he promised.
And he still has not showed up.
So, at 23:30 pm, I was awake in my bed and desperately worrying my head off.
Because this time, I'm getting in too deep and too attached.
To that Smug Smiling Movie Lover Ladies' Man— Bastard, of all people.
And with that attachment comes the pain.
I got used to seeing him every day of my life since I came back, that it was odd for me that he had to go off somewhere far without me.
I never thought, did not want to think of getting separated from him ever again, after what we went through.
I am Former Assasin / Mossad Liaison Officer , now NCIS Special Agent Ziva David. I am strong.
However, I must say that too much is enough. I have my limitations. I am human after all. And I have been torn away from him many many times more than I care to count.
I am also afraid that the little of what we used to have—and what could be turning into something more—would be ruined, shattered into millions of pieces.
We almost let it slip away before. I don't want that happening again.
I terribly want to be wherever he is, just to be sure he is okay, that he is not in the same situation I had been in months ago, that they aren't beating the shit out of him, that they aren't poisoning him, that they arent't doing horrible things to him.
That he would come back in one piece.
That he would come back in one piece, alive and breathing, to us.
To me.
Until today, it never occurred to me that one day I would care; that I had the capability to care.
I never thought that I would care immensely for someone like him much as I never thought of the colossal amounts of hurt I would feel from it.
I'd like to think that these emotions come with being an American Citizen.
But if he had been here, he'd probably say it only happens to Israeli Women With The Name Of Ziva David Who Becomes An American.
AN: That was short and random, and isn't the right place to end the story.
Review?