Where's Ferb?
Cezille07
A/N: So sad...but all things must end. So here it is, the final chapter. I hope y'all like it. :) BTW, there are some references to some episodes here, but I don't think it's utterly necessary to have seen the episodes to connect with the segment. ;D There you go.
Chapter 5. Home Nowhere Else.
As a guard at the Googolplex, Brad was only used to entertaining odd characters and 'kindly' forcing them to leave. Today however was different. He'd been instructed very clearly that freak scientists were to be allowed inside if they presented an ID that affiliated them to the ESC. All sorts of characters had shown up since opening time, from innocent-looking professionals to actual psychos with large-scale inventions whose purpose Brad had no interest in knowing. And now he sighed at the sight of a flying car-type of object, whose driver was a furry, bluish animal with glasses and a curly brown wig and mustache. Perry the platypus, alias Dr. Wexler once more, flung a freshly laminated card from the driver's seat towards Brad, and the latter gave a sigh again. He'd have to let this animal inside too.
"Excuse me, evil scientist coming through," announced Doofenshmirtz as he elbowed his way across the activity center, to the small stage in the middle. Several bodyguards clenched their fists and punched at the nearest post to show indignation, but the doctor ignored them. "Excuse me, hello, do I have everyone's attention now? Good," he said, without waiting for a reply. "I am here to eradicate all you posers such that the Tri-state area will only have one true evil menace to fear: me!" he laughed.
"Jerk! Get off the platform and stop humiliating yourself!"
"That's not even evil, that's just childish."
"I remember this guy from that video of a skater in his undies ending up in the toilet!"
"HEY!" yelled Doofenshmirtz. "Your petty remarks won't matter once I unleash the power of my greatest Inator of all time—"
The crowd silenced as engine roars echoed throughout the activity center. Heads turned to the main entrance, where a hover car towing an oversized armchair made slowly towards the convention.
"Well, that's one of them," admitted the doctor, "But get a load of the rest of—"
The Relaxinator landed weightily, jolting the crowd, as Perry released the cable holding the armchair afloat and parked the hover craft.
"Darn it! Who's that over there disrupting my speech?" cried Doofenshmirtz.
Perry jumped out of the driver's seat, in his Wexler guise again.
"Oh, you. I was a fan of you, but you'll be destroyed like the rest of these wannabes," the doctor waved him away. Most of the other scientists, however, mounted their inventions and set coordinates to the lunatic in a lab coat.
Perry grinned. If these irate geniuses don't get rid of him first, then his own Inators will, those massive weapons of destruction that only ever destroyed one thing: his pride.
"Good day to you, sir! Here's my passport, my son, and our baggage," and Lawrence surrendered the specified items, except Ferb, to the man by the luggage scanner.
"Good day," the man nodded, examining the passports. "Right, everything seems to be in order. Pass through here, please," he directed them to an integrated metal-detector and heat-sensor equipment that looked just like a doorframe.
Lawrence stepped placidly through the scanner. "Alright, Ferb, let's go."
Ferb came up to the doorframe-looking equipment slowly. He took one step and it beeped angrily.
The scanner man rubbed his chin. "Sir," he addressed Lawrence, "we can't let him board. Your son appears to be running a fever, and international policies on—"
"No no no, he's fine you see..." panicked Lawrence. "Ferb why don't you show the nice man something...you like to do and can only do when you're really well?"
Ferb exhaled, "Dad, I want to see Ph—"
"That's Linda's property!" yelled his father, panting. "I was only 'sharing' her half until she stopped being alright with not having a child that was really ours. We're leaving today and that's final!"
"Sir, if this is some family problem, please talk to your wife instead of running away to another country," proposed the guard.
Lawrence pounded on the guard's desk. "You're a meddler eh? I'm not running, I was born in England, and to real home we're headed. Let us through!"
"We're going to have to detain you both, if you keep up this sort of behavior. Maybe you'd like some tea while we're at it?"
Perry's computer watch blinked for the third time that morning. What now Carl?
"Agent P, we hope your hands aren't full, but...well... In response to your request earlier, I found Lawrence has made a very recent purchase of two London-bound tickets with his credit card early this morning. Although their flight takes off in fifteen minutes, video surveillance at the airport shows they're detained for making a fuss with the baggage checker. Meanwhile, the Flynn half of the family is gathered right in your vicinity. Remember that keeping your identity is imperative...but...what are you going to do about this?"
Perry's eyes widened in horror. What is this—divorce? Ferb and Lawrence going to London? What the hell happened? It was all too quick, too sudden. So Monogram was alluding to the right problem after all...
But never mind now. The kids were looking for Ferb. He must let them know.
Isabella thought she saw a familiar platypus, but the hair and glasses proved her wrong. His ID said Dr. Wexler. He was an evil scientist here to show off a crazy invention. She remained observing the array of gadgets before her until she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Huh?" she turned to see the Wexler character handing her a monitor device with red, blinking coordinates. She looked closer. The airport? "What is this?" she asked, but he was instantly out of sight. And then she saw the label embossed on the side of the screen, "Specific Target Locatinator and CCTV Viewinator."
She swallowed a large gasp. Baljeet was right...
"CANDACE!"
"Now you're making me angry, Dr. Wexler! How dare you steal from me and hand one of my original, copyrighted inventions to a little girl? Trying to show me what real evil is like, aren't you? You're a sad, narcissistic case! I'll show you evil!"
Perry ducked as the crazed scientist lunged at him. Making sure Doof was still in pursuit, he sprinted for the Relaxinator, sending a few flasks and hand-held devices crashing to the floor as he passed several displays, and paused at the backrest while his nemesis caught up, panting heavily in the seat.
At that moment, Perry tore off the clothes and raised the remote to the Relaxinator.
"Perry the platypus?" Doofenshmirtz screamed, repulsed. "You've stopped me for the last time, and I'll finally get rid of you the first time!"
Oops, he gulped. The evil scientists were laughing. I should NOT have added the last clause.
"Whatever! You're trapped this time!" he finished angrily.
But Perry merely grinned. Why don't we let the Relaxinator decide who's trapped? He rotated the large red dial to its maximum capacity, and the foot massage, the air-conditioning, and the acupuncture needles reactivated themselves. Doofenshmirtz was paralyzed, falling limply to a side, much to the satisfaction of the other evil scientists. Perry dusted his hands and fur, and delightedly watched his helpless 'enemy' struggle to say his usual farewell, "Curse you Perry the platypus...!"
He adjusted his fedora, bowed to his audience, and walked regally back to his vehicle. Get well soon from your hysteria, Heinz, because I used long-lasting alkaline batteries, not Norm's old regular ones. Tsk tsk tsk. Get well soon indeed.
Candace maneuvered the bumpy, beyond-the-speed-limit drive to the airport, with Linda sitting quietly to her right, arms crossed and brows knitted. It had taken Baljeet little time to figure out how the locator worked: The user enters as many precise descriptions to identify a query, with which the database is checked thoroughly. This database included every imaginable object and a near-complete documentation of every living being on the planet. Buford himself did the querying, and verified that it really was Ferb's coordinates that were shown on the screen when Isabella received the device.
With utmost care Ferb approached the door, turned the knob once in each direction, and proceeded to tapping specific locations around the keyhole. He recognized this lock model. The same way raindrops wear off the strongest metal alloys, a little force in a precise, constant location will transmit into the mechanisms of the lock itself, thereby allowing him to...
Click!
The door swung open before him, to his father's astonishment. "Ferb, how did you—?"
But he didn't care to listen. It was the tiniest calling in his gut, but that was more than enough to tell him Phineas was less than a hundred meters away.
Bryce was Brad's brother, and coincidentally, or because Bryce was naturally indecisive as a young boy, they had the exact same job, same wage, only a different venue.
Bryce spotted the red car speeding toward the main entrance to the Danville airport and knew this was the reason he should have gone for culinary school instead. I ain't gettin' paid enough for this kind of work.
The oddball family headed by a young boy stepped out and ambled resolutely past him. The way they looked needed no halting. Suddenly, he found an excuse to attend those baking workshops he'd been wanting to join. Yay, I'm gonna get fired!
Phineas surprised Candace by springing out of his seat and rushing to the large hall with the locatinator in his hands. Isabella was watching from behind his shoulder how he adjusted the other dials and hacked directly into the security cameras at the detainment area. He's back, they all thought simultaneously, unable to hide relieved grins.
Lawrence hurtled after Ferb, afraid his fever would climb, and they would never be able to leave. But Candace was dragging his wary wife, and Phineas and his friends were heading straight for them. There was no escape. But maybe escape wasn't the answer after all...
Perry left the engine running as he hovered over one of the hangars, with a perfect view of Phineas and Ferb running up to each other at last. Candace nudged Linda in Lawrence's direction, subtly clearing her throat and tapping her right foot impatiently. Monogram streamed the audio from surveillance cameras to Perry's computer watch in time for Lawrence to come forward and apologize to his wife.
"Linda," he said, rather nervously, "last night was a stupid fight, dear. I'm sorry for taking Ferb. The boys need each other...and so do we."
Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
A minute later, Perry appeared behind Phineas' feet, and Ferb picked him up for a tight squeeze. "Oh, there you are, Perry," said the young Londoner as his brother grinned his agreement.
"So Ferb, what're we gonna do now? It's past lunchtime and we haven't got any new blueprints, and we've already found Perry," Phineas counted, patting their pet platypus resting between them.
Ferb merely returned the questioning look.
"Well, I suppose we can add this date to our calendars," Phineas paused. "What do you mean why? Major near-catastrophic shift in our way of life—"
Ferb chuckled.
"You're right, keep moving forward. Thanks for reminding me, bro."
Candace hung on to her cellphone. Through the window, everything felt normal. Her brothers planning again. Mom and dad scheduling a dinner date. She'd be alone, left to watch Phineas and Ferb surprise her with their simplistic genius. But this time, she resolved, she won't stop them. She'll wait in accepting silence and relish the one day she really appreciated having both of them just spending leisure time, as a family, however that was defined. Heck, she'll join the fun of that. A huge grin formed on her lips. Jeremy said he'd drop by and play some video games. Soon...he would also be part of the family...
Perry lay still on all fours. The morning's work with both Doof and the boys had tired him, but not enough to enjoy seeing Phineas and Ferb—as well as their parents—back to their usual selves.
He imagined what state the doctor was in. Had the other scientists clobbered him out of existence? He deserved an award that ran along the name "Most Failures Award" to inspire him to keep going. He had outdone himself with the Relaxinator, for real, and who knows what the other upgraded Inators were capable of. But that was thought worthy of another full day. Today, he knew what he was going to do, assuming Monogram doesn't abruptly call for him. Perry was going to be a platypus. And platypuses don't do much.
**END**
A/N: I'd like to thank you for sticking with me through to the end. So, uh...you know the drill, that "Review" button down there's getting lonely. ;) And check out my upcoming story "A Life that Revolved around You"! Thanks! :D