Okay so ... I think chapter is a bit choppy because I'm exhausted. (*sigh*) That's what happens when one has a baby brother that wakes up at anytime in the morning and screams: "Wake the feck up and tend to me now!" But yeah … anything in italics, I'm guessing you may have figured, is in French. Translations at the bottom. Thank you for reading this
Welcome to Paradise
Matthew (Canada) and Francis (France)
Matthew peeked at Francis through the corners of his eyes. The French man's attention was devoured by the road. Matthew expelled a heavy sigh; there was a burning feeling inside of him. It was saying, "Y'know, buddy, I don't think this is going to end well, eh. Maybe you should just do what you're thinking and pull that little handle there …." Matthew's eyes drifted over to the handle of the passenger door. It would be so easy to just curl his fingers around it and pull. What was it that humans did in such situations? Once the door popped open did they jump? No – jumping was too careless, it would be safer to duck and roll. Matthew shook the thought out of his head before he could will himself to do something stupid.
Music! He told himself happily. He would just turn on the radio and drown in the music, forget the stupid ordeal Francis was about to put him through, silence Kumajiro's interminable thumping from inside of the trunk. It was kind of uncomforting to think the tiny polar bear was alone in the dark, cramped space. If anything he would ask Francis to pull over and let Matthew take him out, put him in the backseat instead, but Francis was still shaken by the very 'intimate' moment he and the bear shared earlier. He refused to let Kumajiro come along if he was anywhere but in the trunk.
Matthew spun the volume dial and music started booming.
"What are you doing?" Francis asked, his focus never veering away from the road.
"I don't know … listening to music I guess," he replied.
Matthew eased back into the seat and closed his eyes. The music stopped abruptly and his eyes slid open. He caught a glimpse of Francis' hands moving away from the dial.
"What the heck, Francis! I was listening to that!" Matthew growled.
"Oh, well boody-boo-boo-hoo," he mocked. "Do you not understand, Mathieu? You need to focus!" Temporarily removing a hand from the steering wheel, Francis tapped a finger against his temple and put the hand back. "You must take the time to focus! Do you know what I did when I saw you come to the car? You remember, after I told you to change and come back wearing something decent et pas terrible?"
Matthew shook his head. "Non, j'aime excuse."
Francis exhaled. "You should be sorry – but for yourself. When you stepped outside of your home and I saw you I threw up in my mouth and felt my conscience shed a tear. mon garcon, you have such terrible taste … it makes me want to kick a puppy I am so frustrated!"
'Kick a puppy I am so frustrated?' Oh. Matthew thought about correcting the comment but he decided against it. And besides, what did it matter what he wore? No one ever saw him; Matthew could walk right onto a busy street in his birthday suit and no one would notice. If anyone hit him they'd probably think something along the lines of: damn, hit a deer.
"I don't dress that badly," Matthew argued.
"Oh, but you do!"
"What's so bad about a sweater and jeans?"
There was a silence. "Nothing if you wear it occasionally. Inside of your house. Where you cannot be seen. In the basement. Alone."
Francis turned into the parking lot of a small airport – it was actually a field but there was a plentiful amount of cars parked on it so Francis saw no issue.
"You're really rude sometimes, Francis." Matthew muttered and twisted his body to face the window.
-_- Boy Does Life Suck. As Our Precious Matthew Would Say: FML -_-
Kumajiro's kicks were becoming violent, tiny welts were sprouting on the metal. Matthew started for the trunk of his car when Francis called to him.
"Mathieu you … you … um … you have a cage right? For the bear?" He stuttered nervously.
Matthew shook his head, he couldn't bother with cages. They were too troublesome. And even if he did what would Francis expect him to do with it? Lock poor Kumajiro up for fancying him? That idea alone was more ridiculous to Matthew than the makeover. He snorted and inserted the car key into the trunk's lock. Just as he went to twist it Francis' hand clamped down on his wrist and tried to pull it away.
"Arrêt, Mathieu! S'il vous plaît! Arrêt!" He wailed.
Matthew tried to push him off but he was wrestled to the ground, arm still clutching the key. Kumajiro's thrashing became frantic. He was going to break a hole through the car! Francis didn't seem to notice that, though. He was sitting on Matthew's stomach and trying to yank the key out of the hole. Francis positioned himself so that his foot was right under Matthew's chin. He was kicking him! Well he wasn't really kicking him, per say. It was more that Francis was trying to push his head back.
With his foot.
Under Matthew's face.
With enough force to make a brick wall collapse.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! MAPLE!"
Matthew clawed at Francis' leg and Francis hissed.
The welts on the trunk were becoming larger.
"Francis stop it you're hurting me!"
"Then let go of the key!"
"Kumajiro needs to come out! He's been in there for five hours!"
"Then get his cage!"
"I don't have a cage!"
"Then that is just too damn bad for you!"
"Francis!" Matthew barked.
"Mathieu!" Francis snarled.
"Let go!"
"Fuck you!"
Francis used one last burst of energy and kicked the small Canadian. The boy went soaring across the field. , Matthew bounced and flew, he looked like a stone against water and Francis couldn't help but smirk.
Boom!
The ceiling of the trunk could no long take the assault. It broke open and a very sweaty Kumajiro appeared from the giant gash. Francis froze, staring in disbelief at the bear as it rose.
"Mon dieu …."
Kumajiro scoped the area and he stopped suddenly at the sight of Mr. France. His breathing became heavy and Mr. French took a step back, quickly spinning on his heal and bolting in the other direction. Kumajiro jumped down and chased after him.
"Come back! Let us breed together!" Kumajiro yelled but Mr. France didn't stop.
Mr. France slipped on a muddy patch of grass and smashed into the earth. This was his moment! Kumajiro knew that his new sexy man beast would need assistance and he would happily lick his wounds.
He drew nearer and leapt into the air. The bear landed on Mr. France and the man began to push him away.
"Go away! Mathieu, mon amis, Help me! I am sorry if I offended you! Help me!"
Matthew was just beginning to recover from his little trip. He heard Francis calling to him, there was too much dirt on his glasses for him to see but he followed the helpless screams. Crawling gingerly.
Kumajiro had a mouthful of Mr. France's pants; he was tugging them off of his thighs. The bear noticed Ca- Ca- Who? The person who was stinking up his house? Him? Yes, it was him: Stinky Man. Stinky Man was coming toward them and Kumajiro could see his efforts coming to an end.
"Stop doing this, you crazy bear! I do not want to breed with you! Release me!"
Kumajiro was getting annoyed by his yelps. He let go of the fabric and bit Mr. France's crotch. Mr. France screamed.
"Mon dieu! Mon dieu! It is trying to rape me! Help! Mattie help!"
Matthew stood up and wiped the dirt from his lenses the best he could, but clumps of it were caught in cracks. Cracks? Dear Jesus his glasses were broken! Matthew slipped them on – everything was so distorted – and scanned grassy area. There was something flopping on the field, a white blob atop it. He grunted.
Francis could feel the tears fleeing his eyes when he saw his beautiful Mattie approaching. His pants were at his ankles and the crazy bear was only seconds away from moving to his briefs.
"Merce, mon Dieu! Merce!"
Matthew stood above him, face painted with a wicked grin. He didn't try to demagnetize Francis from the bear or command it to stop. In fact, he laughed, flipped him the bird and walked away.
-_- Boy Does Life Suck. As Our Precious Matthew Would Day: FML -_-
"Bienvenue à Paris, Mattie," Francis said with a chipper edge to his tone.
It was pretty irksome that he could so easily forgive Matthew. Why is it people never got upset when he wanted them to?
They walked into Francis' Paris home, it was smaller than Matthew expected, then again, Paris did not seem like a place that would fit a big house.
"Where am I going to stay?" Matthew asked as he put Kumajiro onto the couch.
About two minutes after Matthew left them in the parking lot to tussle, two security guards shot Kumajiro with enough tranquilizing darts to keep him out for days.
"The room down this hallway here. The bathroom is right next to it, please take a bath and relinquish yourself from that dirt and stink … they are clogging my pores."
Matthew shrugged and disappeared behind the wall.
He had to admit, the bath felt nice and he didn't feel so aggravated anymore. Maybe the trip was not such a bad thing after all. Matthew toweled off, wrapped the white linen around his hips and went back into his room. He unzipped his suitcase but there was nothing there. Nothing save his toothbrush. Everything, his clothes, his brush, his boxers were gone… where the fuck did his clothes go?
"Francis? Francis?" He called desperately.
He heard the front door open and shut, Francis walked into the room. He smiled and Matthew couldn't help but notice the bags that he had clutched under his arms.
"Francis are those my clothes?" Mathew asked.
"Qui!Nouveauxvêtements!" He chirped.
"Pardon moi?"
Francis placed the bags on the bed and hugged Matthew. Very pleased with himself for taking the initiative to kickoff Matthew's make-me-feel-wonderful makeover.
"Where are my clothes, Francis?" Matthew asked, monotone.
"Burnt, ashed et trashed!"
Matthew balled his fists into the collar of Francis' shirt, body trembling. His vision flashed red and he tightened his grip. "W-what did you just say?"
"I have burned your clothing and bought you new, refreshing clothing to be admired in. Please be happy, Mattie! I did this for you!"
Mathew inhaled, exhaled and let the French man go. He closed his eyes, thinking happy thoughts, he said, "Francis, go away."
"But, Mattie-"
"Francis," he breathed. "I want to kill you right now. I want to pull out all of your stupid blonde hair all at once and stomp on your face until it is unrecognizable. So help me, God, if you don't get out now I might just. And if not," Matthew glared at Francis through his eyelashes, "I will smash every bottle of wine you have and inject Kumajiro with so many hormones-"
"Alright, fine I will go! I was only trying to help …"
Francis left the room, closing the door behind him but came back and opened the door slightly. "Mattie I am sorry. And … um … I made us an appointment at the spa for tomorrow. Please rest, Matthew. I will see you in the morning. Bonne nuit."
"Leave me alone."
Francis hadn't meant for him to get upset. He was trying to make Mattie happy but instead Matthew got angry. It probably was a bad idea for him to drag the boy to Paris and force him into getting beauty treatments and such. What was he thinking? Francis should have just hired a psychiatrist to help him deal with his problems. Francis pulled his hair back into a ponytail and climbed onto his bed. Arms wrapped tightly around his knees.
There had to be a way to make Mattie smile. Then the idea hit him like a ton of bricks! What better way to cheer up a down Canadian than to help him gain better understanding? If Francis could help him understand then everything would be perfect. He jumped off of the bed, snuck past the bear, giving it a menacing look as he passed, out the door and into his car. Francis needed a video camera. One with very good quality. HD to the extreme!
-_- Boy Does Life Suck. As Our Precious Matthew Would Day: FML -_-
Francis shook the Canadian boy lightly and Matthew's eyes fluttered open. Francis caressed his cheek and smiled. He would make things work this morning for sure.
"Morning," he cooed.
Matthew sat up, feeling for his glasses but Francis placed them in his hand for him.
"What do you want?" Matthew snarled.
Francis hadn't noticed the cracks in Matthew's glasses until the boy put them on. His posture slumped and he felt as though he might have something to do with it. Of course he didn't, though, but he felt like he did.
"I want to apologize for being such a lousy comrade. You forgive me do you not, Mattie?"
"I guess, whatever," he sighed.
Francis wriggled his nose. "You need to brush your teeth, Mattie."
Matthew glared at him and pointed to the door. "Get out."
"Oh, but I cannot! We have to go to the spa today! Go and brush your teeth please and I will pick out your clothes for you."
Matthew looked him up and down; he pressed his palm to his mouth and questioned Francis. "It is nothing to promiscuous or provocative is it? Wait … do those words mean the same thing?" He scratched his head.
Francis shook his head, "I am not sure and no. Nothing of the sorts."
"I trust you," Matthew yawned, looking away from Francis.
"Good, now say cheese!"
"What?"
Francis took a picture of the Canadian. Step one complete: complete!
END OF PART II
Now I really want to thank my French teachers, they are so useful! And This chapter was kind of a filler that I couldn't help but add more Kumajiro France action in :P Thanks again for reading! Oh, and I tried to fix the transition quote, I hope it shows up this time. It didn't bother in the last chapter.
et pas terrible – and not terrible
non, j'aime excuse – no, I apologize
mon garcon – my boy
arrêt – stop
s'il vous plaît – please
mon dieu – my god/god (depends on how you want to interpret it)
mon amis – my friend
merce – thank you
bienvenue à Paris – welcome to Paris
qui – yes
nouveauxvêtements – new clothes
pardon moi – pardon me
et – and
bonne nuit – good night