Okay, before I start this bad boy, I have to say that there was a review sent to me that got me really pissed off. I get quite a bit of reviews, and tons of them say stuff like "please update soon" things like that. This is was really pissed me the fuck off:
Fuck 2008-11-27 . chapter 10
well im completely bummed!
dont call this hate mail though but,
u suck.
i read the last time you updated and im pissed.
i got all into this story so that i could be disapointed.
thankz a bunch.
Okay. Honestly? Like you have nothing better to do than to sit there and wait for me to update? Like the world revolves around you? Get real. I have a life, too, y'know. I have real-life problems. Maybe I got hospitalized. Or maybe someone died. That didn't really happen but what if it did. You don't just sit around assuming that people don't update just to watch their readers squirm. Writers have problems too, y'know. Besides, if I had ever thought about quitting this whole fanfic thing, I probably would've put up a note sooner. I'm definitely not through with this. There's just a lot of things going on right now. So be fucking patient. People like you piss me off to hell and back. I don't do that and you should not do that. It's rude.
I'm sorry. I'm not a bitchy person. But that just gets to me. Okay?
One more thing, less bitchy. A lot of you guys who have reviewed say a lot of stuff like "I like this story, your writing style is cool!" Reviews like that make me giggle. I mostly write the way I speak. Only in a more sophisticated fashion. For example, I emphasize, like, everything I say (and say like, and dude, and yo a lot. lul) so that's why I use italics a lot when characters are speaking to each other. Get it? Eh? Eh? Eh? : D ((nudge))
In conclusion, to the other readers who were polite enough to say "update soon", "please" included or not, thank you and please enjoy this beast of a chapter. (Like ten pages!)
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sweet talk 101
11 : alive with the glory of love - say anything
"Ah...ah... R-riku! Harder...!"
The brunette boy beneath him threw his head back in pleasure, his bangs falling back from his sweaty forehead. Riku moaned in return, steadily thrusting into the tight, hot body underneath him. And god, it was so hot, so amazing, Sora was finally his-
"Aah... god, Sora..."
So close, he was so close...
So... very much awake, and very much aware of how very much alone and very much aroused he was.
"Ugh. Shit..." That mattress, as it turned out, did not make a very good lover. Riku groaned and rolled over onto his back, the throbbing ache between his legs pissing him off even more.
"Fucking... dammit!" The silverette grabbed the nearest pillow, smacking it mercilessly against the wall.
x.x.x
"Wow, Riku, rough night?" Kairi asked as she and Riku walked past the school gates together.
"Don't even go there," Riku grumbled, glaring at the redheaded girl from beneath his bangs.
Kairi giggled and reached up, flicking Riku's hair away from his eyes and peered up at him. "You've got dark circles around your eyes."
"I what?!"
"And let me guess," Kairi continued casually, "You dreamed that you were in bed with Sora, fucking him into the next century and then you suddenly woke up. Am I right?"
She glanced over her shoulder, smiling sweetly, only to find that Riku had stopped a few feet away, staring at her incredulously.
"Must you put it so bluntly?"
"You act as if I don't know you."
Riku frowned, a rare blush spreading across the bridge of his nose. He stomped past Kairi, muttering darkly under his breath.
"Oh, come on!" Kairi sighed in exasperation, hurrying to catch up with the silverette. "Why don't you just tell him-"
"I can't tell him anything! He refuses to listen to me!"
"Well, make him listen to you! Pin him down or something. Quit being a baby and grow a pair."
"Grow a pair?" Riku hissed venomously, accidentally attracting the attention of some giggling freshman girls. He flushed once more and grabbed Kairi's wrist, dragging her towards the parking lot. "You're the one who said it was going to be easy considering that Sora's already my best friend and everything! No, instead, he's been doing nothing but avoiding me for something completely stupid-"
"Have you ever considered that Sora mi-"
"-even Roxas is more mature than that. Seriously, he and Axel are probably going to hit it off before I even get a word in!"
At that, Kairi turned her head away and coughed, suddenly mesmerized with an empty McMoogle's cup lying on the ground.
Riku stared at her, mouth agape. "Aw, no, no!" he moaned, grabbing his hair. "That's bullshit!"
Kairi arched an eyebrow and took a few steps away from the teen. Riku was acting a bit... deranged, and Kairi was sure that at the rate he was going, he'd end up ripping out handfuls of hair.
"Axel's a fucking asshole! And now they're okay? They're okay?!"
Kairi cleared her throat meaningfully and twirled a stand of hair around her finger. She would rather not answer. "I... guess so. Roxas took Axel out somewhere last night and when Axel came back he said they were on good terms."
"...How does that work?!"
Kairi rolled her eyes and grabbed Riku's elbow, pulling him towards the school building. God forbid if Riku saw Roxas's car pull into the parking lot with Axel in shotgun. He'd go bald.
She was just glad that Axel wasn't the one driving. Last time the redhead got behind the wheel of a car while on medication he almost hit a little old lady crossing the street in a wheel chair.
...It was still weird, suddenly befriending Axel like that, but neither Roxas nor Axel felt bad about it. As long as Axel didn't lash out, Roxas was happy. Axel was glad that he felt 'sober' enough to be around the blonde in the first place.
Roxas pulled into an empty parking space and cut the ignition. An amused smile crept onto his lips when he noticed that Axel was out like a light and he reached over to nudge him awake. The redhead groaned in his sleep and edged closer to the door, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself and the offending hand. Roxas frowned and gave up, opting for giving Axel a hard punch in the shoulder instead.
"Ow!" Axel yelped with a jerk, smacking his head against the window. "Unnnggh..."
'S what you get, Roxas thought with a playful smirk.
"Yeah, haha, very funny," Axel growled, gingerly rubbing the side of his head. "Just because we're not fighting anymore doesn't mean that I can't beat the shit out of you."
Roxas rolled his eyes, shoving the door open. I'd love to see you try.
Axel got the gist of the blonde's trail of thought just by his eye roll. "Oh yeah? C'mon, you and me, right here, right now," he challenged, following the other teen outside.
Roxas stared at him blankly and then burst into silent chuckles, shoulders shaking slightly. Axel could barely stay awake, let alone fight. Or stand. He seemed to have trouble doing that too.
"Oh, just you wait, I'll.. I'll.. ahhh.." Axel paused, hiding a yawn behind the sleeve of his hoodie. "..get you."
Roxas shook his head in exasperation, smiling slightly. He locked his car and headed across the parking lot, looking over his shoulder every now and then just to make sure that Axel didn't get hit by a car. ..Or walk into one..
x.x.x
Larxene and Demyx stared, mouths hanging open in shock.
"Did we... miss something?" Larxene managed to choke out, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Axel had come to lunch with Roxas of all people.
"Umm... long story... too tired," Axel offered, slumping down at the table and burying his face in his arms.
The two blondes blinked at the non-responsive mass of red hair and brought their gaze to Roxas, who only shrugged and slid into the seat next to Axel's.
"Is he brain-dead?" Demyx asked. He poked Axel's head, earning a deep growl from the confines of the sweatshirt.
Roxas smirked at that and pulled a sheet of paper out of his binder. After quickly scribbling something on it, he held it up for Larxene and Demyx to see.
More like brainless.
Larxene's face broke into a sudden grin, gleaming and razor-sharp. "Axeeeel, I like this kid, why didn't you introduce us before?" she purred, snatching the paper and crumpling it up before Axel could see.
The redhead lifted his head, glaring at her with dark, venomous eyes. "What, what, did he write something weird about me?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that."
Roxas sat back and watched, slightly amused by Axel's emotional instability. Being around the older boy was kind of refreshing. Of course, it might have only been the pills talking... Or Axel talking through the pills.
Roxas was quickly shaken out of his thoughts when he was grabbed by the shoulders. His nose was now buried in Axel's hoodie...
"Okay, fine, Larx. Y'wanna know what happened?"
...and the smell of cigarette smoke and cinnamon invaded his senses...
"...Roxas is my bitch."
...and he suddenly had the awful urge to replace Axel's internal organs with something explosive.
I'M WHAT?!
Roxas grabbed his binder, trying to beat every part of Axel that he could reach with it.
"Whoa, ow! H-hey! I was just kidding!" Axel managed through his chuckles, throwing his hands up in defense.
I. Don't. Care, Roxas thought, emphasizing each word with an even harder smack. One more hit for personal pleasure and the blonde gathered up his stuff, stomping away.
"Ehh, he'll crawl back..." Axel muttered with a lazy smirk.
"So, is he at least a cool kid?" Demyx wondered, propping his chin up on his hands.
"I guess so," Axel answered with a nonchalant shrug. "It's cool how the kid's got no voice but if he has to say something, he finds a way to do it."
Roxas was actually pretty damn amazing in terms of being able to cope with his problem. Axel would've probably long ago sunk to his knees in frustration and hid in the dark confines of his closet if he went without talking for more than 24 hours.
"That's... cool, I guess," the fauxhawked blonde sighed.
Axel raised an eyebrow, surprised that Demyx was still sighing like an old arthritic man over one measly person that probably didn't even care about him anymore.
"Dude, don't give me that look."
"What look? I don't have a look."
"Yes, you do, the I-can't-believe-you're-still-at-it look."
"I can't!"
"So who the hell cares?!" Larxene snapped, disgustingly annoyed by Demyx's whiny behaviour. "If he's blaming you for the fact that he doesn't have the balls to stand up for himself then that's bullshit!"
"Screw you, Larx! I care, okay?!" Demyx shouted back, voice rising and nearly cracking. "Don't talk shit about things you don't understand!" He grabbed his bag, leaving in a very pissed-off-Roxas-like fashion. He went to the library, where no one hung around during lunch period. Zexion was never there anymore either...
"Christ, no need to rub it in my face," Demyx grumbled to himself, making his way to the rarely visited history section where he could truly mope in peace. He made it all the way to the end of the row and slumped to the floor, leaning against the dusty bookshelf.
...But the scent of the books around him made him think of Zexion...
He didn't understand why he didn't just let himself give up. They were both hurting and Demyx was obviously making it worse by pressing the subject. But he just... couldn't let it go. Let Zexion go. Like there was something written in his cells, in every part of his being that refused to give him the right to do so. He knew he could fix this... somehow.
x.x.x
The clock on the wall slowly ticked past the lunch hour, lulling Demyx into a light doze. Next thing he knew, something was tickling his nose. Demyx jerked slightly, ocean eyes fluttering open only to see a small piece of paper floating down to rest on his stomach. He blinked at it in surprise and picked it up, turning it over in his fingers. Scribbled on the front were the words Are you okay?
"...What?"
He looked around, trying to find a sign that someone else was in here. A small scuffle sounded in his ears and he lifted his head, looking at the top of the bookshelf. Staring back at him were a pair of large blue eyes, framed by blonde bangs.
"O-oh, shit! Roxas! You scared the crap out of me!" Demyx hissed, scrambling to his feet.
Roxas grinned and hopped down, landing on the opposite side of the bookshelf, and walked over to Demyx's side.
"Are you okay?" he mouthed, tilting his head curiously.
"You came all this way just to ask me that?" Demyx asked, feeling a bit flattered.
No, I just came in here to inhale the dust. Roxas rolled his eyes and nodded.
"...Haha, you're weird, dude."
Look who's talking.
Demyx chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah... heh... yeah. I guess. I'm okay... kinda. Just... I'm in a big fight with a friend of mine."
Roxas raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, showing that he was listening.
"C'mon dude, it's not something you'd be interested in. Nothing special, just my own problems. Don't you have your hands full with Axel, anyway?"
Roxas crinkled his nose and waved his hand dismissively.
"Okay, fine." Demyx sighed and took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. "See, I have this friend... used to have this friend. Right? It's not like he's stupid or ugly or unpopular, god, lord above, no, but my swim teammates always used to pick on him just because I hung out with him. And... I guess I was too stupid to realize that I had to help out, y'know, stand up for him... But I... I kinda just... ignored-" Demyx suddenly cut himself off, frowning deeply and thinking to himself.
Roxas gave him a disapproving look and grabbed a pen from his bag, writing Have you apologized? on his hand.
"Dude, if my apologies were quarters, I'd be rich by now." The fauxhawked blonde groaned, half-heartedly punching the bookshelf. "I don't... I don't know what else to do. I don't want to give up but I've tried so many things! Dude, I even fucking sang under his bedroom window and he chucked a lamp at me!"
The other blonde smiled at the last bit, intrigued with the way Demyx was so set on Zexion that he didn't even realize it. Could it be love?
Maybe he's scared, Roxas wrote, absently thinking about how he was probably going to get cancer from writing on his hands all time.
"Scared?" Demyx repeated incredulously. "Scared of what, that I-oh." ...That it would happen again.
Now you've got it.
"Oh shit," Demyx groaned, tiredly passing in hands over his face. "Fuck, I have to talk to him-"
Roxas raised a hand, shaking his head with a frown.
"No? Are you serious?"
Give him time, Roxas wrote.
Demyx frowned, running a hand anxiously through his hair. He just had his epiphany and now he had to wait?
"...I guess that's only fair..." Demyx trailed off and leaned down, picking his stuff up almost mechanically. "Thanks man, okay? I owe you." He smiled crookedly and walked past Roxas before the blonde even had a chance to respond.
The bell rang a few moments later, flooding the halls with teenagers. Demyx paused for a moment, stopping dead in the middle of the hall. People walked on past, like river water running around rocks. He felt like he was his own island, one that no one cared about. But that was okay. Because in that hallway, Demyx came to the conclusion that no one else mattered and what anyone else thought didn't matter either.
Only Zexion did.
x.x.x
"Riku, did you come here to mope, or are you actually going to help me with this project?"
"You know what?" Riku suddenly cut in, jerking his head up from the coffee table. "You know what, Kairi? I started thinking a while ago that maybe the only reason that Sora's been acting like a fucking nut for the past few weeks was because maybe he liked me so I teased him about and now he's avoiding me so fucking well that I'm not even sure he exists anymore!"
"...You're not allowed to drink coffee anymore," Kairi announced, picking up the mug that Riku had been drinking from.
"Is it, like, national emo week, or something?" Axel wondered, stepping out of the kitchen and leaning against the doorjamb. "Me... you... Demyx... his emo friend..."
Riku twitched and grabbed the glue bottle, chucking it at Axel's head.
"You freak," Axel grumbled, rubbing the slowly forming bruise on his forehead. "Ever thought that by teasing Sora you're making him even more frustrated?"
"He could talk to me about it!"
"Why? So you can make fun of him again?"
"I wasn't doing it on purpose!"
"How does he know that?!"
"What do you know?"
"More than you!"
The boys glared at each other, a tense and awkward silence following their argument. Suddenly, before Kairi or Axel could even blink, Riku had leapt over coffee table, slamming Axel against the wall.
"What... the fuck?!" Axel yelped, jerking his knee into Riku's stomach.
Kairi sighed in exasperation, shoulders slumping a bit. How disappointing. Kairi left the warm sanctuary of her loveseat and walked into the kitchen (stepping over Riku and Axel who had thrown each other to the floor). She grabbed the water pitcher in the fridge, swirling the liquid inside around and around, wondering if it was worth it.
"...Yeeaah, I think it is."
The small redhead walked out with a bright smile on her face, turning the pitcher over on top Riku and Axel's heads.
Axel shouted out, scrambling away as though he'd been electrocuted. Riku sat there in a deadpan silence, taking a deep breath a few minutes later.
"I'm leaving," he said finally, walking out without another word, water still dripping from his hair.
"You just had to butt in, didn't you?" Kairi asked, planting her hands on her hips. Her universal sign of dominance, of power, of you-are-my-bitch-and-you-have-to-listen-to-me. "Now Riku's gone and I can't finish this stupid project by myself!"
"He's gotta figure out sometime that he's being a dickface!"
"Oh, just like you were to Roxas?" Kairi snapped. Just like that. To Axel it was like a stab to the brain, a harsh reminder, the post-it note that was stuck to your bathroom mirror. She gathered up her poster and the rest of her materials from the coffee table and stomped upstairs.
Axel stared at the spot where Kairi was only moments before. He cursed under his breath, raking his fingers through his hair. "...That was low, Kairi."
x.x.x
This is it, now or never, Riku thought, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he drove to Sora house. It was the moment of truth. The big, beastly, ugly moment of truth that would either make him the happiest guy or regret even thinking about going to Sora. Regardless, when Roxas opened the door, Sidekick in one hand and Simba in the other, he was quite surprised to see Riku standing there, dripping wet.
"Get Sora."
"Finally," Roxas mouthed with a roll of his eyes. He dropped Simba to the floor and commenced the hunt for his twin.
The brown fluff of a cat mewed and wove himself through Riku's legs, purring loudly. Riku leaned down with a sigh, scratching Simba behind the ears.
"You'll still like me even if Sora doesn't, right?"
Simba rubbed up against him and then shivered uncomfortably, flinching away from the water and trotting away.
"Thanks," Riku huffed in defeat. He could faintly make out Sora hissing at his brother down the hall.
"R-rox, no, NO! I will not-ohhiriku!"
Sora stumbled into the hallway, the biggest, fakest grin plastered on his face. "...Why are you we-"
"Cut the bullshit, Sora," Riku interrupted, narrowing his eyes at the brunette.
"...Cut the bullshit?" Sora asked, his smile falling away and quickly being replaced by a scowl. "Cut the bullshit, Riku?!" He glared back at Riku, hurt and confusion swirling in his large blue eyes. Okay, sure, he had to admit that he over-reacted a bit to the whole face-crotch thing, but afterwards, when Riku began to pick on him... that was just mean. That was bullshit. "Why don't you cut the bullshit! And get out of my fuckin' house, I don't need you-!"
"-I need you!"
Did he just say he needed me? Sora thought, startled into silence by Riku's outburst. The silverette offered nothing else and stared at him, his cheeks slightly red.
"...What?"
Riku bit his lip and stepped closer to Sora, closing the door behind him. There were two things he could do. Brush off what he had said and say something else instead... or repeat himself. But what if Sora rejected him, pushed away, far, far away...?
"...I said, I need you," the silverette finally mumbled, truthfully, his nervousness becoming apparent in his eyes.
Sora fell silent again, unable to respond with a decent, or at least sympathetic statement.
Riku cut his eyes away and rubbed the back of his neck, Sora's gaze making him even more nervous. It wasn't like him, to be like this. He was always laid-back and confident and cocky, but... around Sora, the walls just fell. And they had fallen hard this time. "I... I like you, Sora, okay?" he began slowly, carefully choosing his words. "But it seems like I've been driving you away instead of bringing you closer." Okay, honestly? Grow some balls, like, right now Riku- "Okay. No. Fuck that. I love you, Sora. And if you're not okay with that then tell me so right now to my face."
There were a few fleeting seconds of silence, with no response from Sora's end. Finally, the brunette raised an eyebrow and said, "You love me?" It wasn't exactly the reaction Riku had been expecting from the boy.
"No, Sora, I love the door!" Riku retorted sharply, starting to get a bit annoyed.
"Hey! No need to get pissy!"
"Yes I love you! And don't tell me to not get pissy, it's hard okay? I would've never dreamed that one day I'd be standing at your front door telling you that I love you..! ...But here I am."
Sora quickly swallowed down the lump in his throat and ducked his head, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. He didn't really have to, though. Riku couldn't look him in the eye either. Sora knew he was waiting, waiting for an answer, but did he expect him to come up with one now?
The brunette knew he was going to have to say something soon, but he was going to have to choose his words wisely. Even if he did fill with some sort of strange, giddy euphoria at the mere thought of being near Riku... he was too scared to called it love.
So instead, he stepped closer to the older boy and gingerly wrapped his arms around Riku's waist. "I missed you," he mumbled, relieved to feel Riku relax against him.
"I... uh... missed you too, Sora," Riku said softly, as though afraid that if he spoke louder, he'd scare Sora off. His arms left his sides, coming up to wrap around Sora's small shoulders.
"Look, Riku... I can't say that I love you back, because I don't think that it's the right time to say it. But if you want me to go out with you, then I'm willing."
From somewhere up above, he heard Riku's breath hitch. "Really? You're not just saying-"
"No, no, I mean it!" Sora said earnestly, lifting his head to look up at Riku.
"Heh... you've no idea how scared I was, coming over here," Riku said with a lopsided grin.
"Well, we all get a little scared sometimes, don't we? I guess sometimes, it's worth it."
x.x.x
...FINALLY.
I'm gonna try updating sooner guys, I really will. I know how most of you feel, sitting their in your awesome (or not awesome) swivel chairs, clicking your favorites, only to see that NO. SHE DID NOT UPDATE YET. WOE.
But I've actually been writing a lot of stuff lately. In notebooks. Yeah. Old-skool baby. So expect something new from me by Christmas. ...I hope. ((cringe)) Chapter 12 is already written! I just have to type it up. (You'll get to read about what happens with Dem and Zex! Woo!)
So if anyone's still out there reading this, please review and let me know that my readers are still alive? : D except for that one douchebag. That I hate. And will probably recieve hate mail from for saying all these things. Lulz.