Um. I'mdoing this at nearly three in the morning happy new year i'm not really coherent so just read this and live with it until i find the energy to proofread it thank you ((passes out in peace)).
ps. the first part is ax and rox texting messaging, the next is ax at therapy and then blah blahblah....
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sweet talk 101
12 : nine in the afternoon - panic! at the disco
Kairi really did it this time.
It can't be that bad. Oh. Riku's over, confessing his love or some shit.
To u?
No! To Sora!
Whatevr. I dont care anymore. She compared Rikus jackassness to me and you. Isnt that rly fuckin low?
Ouch. I'm sorry. She was probably just pissed. Don't worry about it too much.
Yeah whatever. Im gonna go take my meds.
Have fun.
Listen, Dem Larx and i are gonna hang out on Sat. Wanna come over?
Am I gonna be initiated into the group?
Hah we'll see. Later.
Roxas smiled and threw his Sidekick onto his bed. He picked Spencer up off the floor and settled down on the floor, playing along to the soft voices down the hall.
x.x.x
Axel like Aeris' office. It was roomy, and there was a couch against the wall (which was probably the comfiest thing Axel's ass had come in contact with) and there were large floor-to-ceiling windows that let the sunlight in. There were plants, too, of all kinds and in colors that Axel thought could never exist on a flower. Their intoxicating aroma blanketed him each time he entered the room, bringing him into a strange, peaceful state of mind. ...Not only that, but he could sit wherever the hell he pleased.
This week, he stretched himself out on the floor.
"...And then she was all, 'oh, like you were a jerk to Roxas?' What's up with that, Doc?"
"You obviously made her mad by getting into something that wasn't your business."
Axel frowned at the ceiling fan and leaned up on his elbows. "I know, but I was only trying to help. Riku's gotta grow some balls. And she didn't have to take it that far!"
"A lot of people don't think about what they're saying when they're angry," Aeris pointed out, tugging absently on some of her brunette curls.
"Well... she apologized, so I guess it's okay. I just can't believe she said that."
"I doubt she meant it. After all, she knows what you're going through."
"Like hell she does. No one but me knows how it's like."
Aeris pulled off her glasses, gingerly rubbing the bridge of her nose. "She knows your situation. She couldn't possibly understand unless she was schizophrenic herself."
Axel hummed, head cocking curiously to the side. "Do you understand?"
"I've worked with people like you for years. I'm pretty sure I have at least an inkling. Now then, let's talk about Roxas, shall we?"
"Ugghh...."
"You act like it's a bad thing. What's your current relationship with him?"
"...I guess we're pretty okay friends," Axel said, crossing his legs and slouching over so that he could comfortably rest his elbows on his knees. "Like, we hang out a lot and he drives me to school because no one trusts me around a car."
"You haven't been getting any... strange thoughts around him?"
"...What kind of strange thoughts?" Axel asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Axel."
"No, I haven't. And before you ask, yes I've been taking my medication when I'm supposed to and yes, the side-effects are getting better." Minus the tree he mistook for a dragon... that one time.
Aeris smiled contently and clasped her hands together, resting her chin on them. "Impressive. You haven't been drinking, have you?"
"Psh, hell no," Axel scoffed, rolling his head back on his neck. "But you've no idea how badly I wanna get out and get smashed like a fuckin' window."
"Are you still smoking?"
"Um, yeah, thankyouverymuch."
"It's not a good idea to smoke and take your medication at the same time," Aeris warned, feeling just a bit concerned for the boy.
"Well, I've been trying to quit, big, fat, freaking duh," Axel drawled, waving his arms around to emphasize his point. Aeris watched him with an unusually impatient expression on her face. "But, like... I can't. At this point, it feels like the last normal thing I can do." Axel paused and looked around, surveying everything in the room. "It'd be like if you got depressed and someone took your flowers away."
Aeris smiled slightly and leaned back in her chair. "As that may be, flowers aren't bad for your health."
"Uh-huh, find me something else that isn't."
"Maybe a hobby? Object? Person?"
"Aw, what about you, Doc? Bet it's watering these damn plants."
To his surprise, Aeris shook her head, her green eyes getting a warm look to them. "I dance."
"No shit!"
"...Yes, Axel."
"Damn, you gotta teach me something, sometime," Axel suggested, a grin spreading across his face.
"We'll see."
Axel chuckled and glanced over his shoulder at the Mickey Mouse clock that was mounted above the door. There session was almost up, and for once, he had actually felt pretty damn comfortable with it. As long as Aeris kept to her promise and didn't tell his parents...
"...You're pretty cool, Gainsborough. If you weren't my therapist and ten years younger, I'd totally bang you." Axel's grin grew at the way Aeris' eyebrows disappeared under her bangs.
"...Charming," she mumbled, rolling her eyes skyward in annoyance.
"Yeeaah, I know I am." Axel stood and stretched, his joints popping in protest after being in one position for so long. He ruffled his hair and then slipped his hands into his pockets, waiting for Aeris to walk him to the door.
"You know, maybe you should ask Roxas to help you with your smoking problem," Aeris suggested with a strange little smile.
"... Yeah, sure. Then I can ask him to end world hunger and bring peace on earth."
x.x.x
Roxas sat down on Axel's front porch on a bright saturday morning, ten minutes of ringing the doorbell having done absolutely nothing except give him a ringing headache. Maybe Axel was taking a shower. Or washing dishes (he couldn't imagine Axel washing dishes though). Roxas was sure it was water he heard running from behind the door.
A few small children ran after each other along the street, laughing and spilling ice cream on the warm pavement.
"Watch, ten years from now I'll be chasing them and stealing their booze."
Roxas started, his heart jerking inside his ribcage from surprise. He whirled around to face the tall, lanky redhead towering above him, a grin appearing on his face. Stealing their booze, huh? he thought, arching an amused eyebrow. Axel smirked back, running a hand lazily through his wet spikes.
"Sorry, Rox. Shower. C'mon, get your scrawny ass inside."
Roxas got off the porch steps and brushed past him with a haughty puff of air. He'd already been in Axel's house a few times, but only went in as far as the front. Mostly because he was waiting for Axel to wake up so he could drive him to school and Kairi invited him in to wait. He never had any purpose to venture in further.
He walked down the hallway and into the living room, feeling a little awkward. It was quiet, so he absently clicking his tongue ring against his teeth, wishing he could make small talk, anything... but he couldn't.
"Demyx and Larx should be over soon," Axel said, following the boy. "You got here pretty early, huh?"
Um, yeah, and I had to wait outside for about a million years-Roxas shrugged.
"Well... uh... sooooo..." Roxas and Axel stared at each other for a long moment, another awkward pause settling between them.
"Kairi?" Roxas finally mouthed.
"Iunno. Off to do some girly things with Selphie and Yuffie."
Oh. So that's where Yuffie ran off to.
Roxas sighed and trudged over to the couch, slumping ungracefully into the cushions. He pulled out his Sidekick, clicked a few buttons and then threw the device at Axel.
How was therapy?
"Eh, easier," Axel answered with a shrug. He decided to invade Roxas's privacy and began scrolling through his folders. "Like, before, I was all 'Is telling my shit to someone I don't even know really going to make me feel better?' and stuff. But I guess it's kind of okay. Have you noticed I stopped bitching at you lately?"
Roxas rolled his eyes and held his hand out for the phone, but Axel ignored him, opening up tons of different pictures.
"And medication only goes so far, y'know? Like, talking... I don't know. It feels like I'm letting go of the weight on my sh-are these your friends?" he suddenly asked in an ADD type manner, holding up the phone for Roxas to see. The blonde barely had enough time to nod his head before Axel went on rambling again. "I don't know. It's just nice. To talk, I mean. And then I go, well shit. Roxas can't do that. What the fuck is that about?"
Roxas deadpanned and then shook his head in an incredulous manner. You just figured that out?
Axel smiled sheepishly, watching Roxas in amazement as the boy fell back against the armrest and threw an arm over his face, body shaking from laughter.
"Hey now," Axel whined, nudging Roxas knee with his foot. "It's not nice to laugh at other people."
Roxas shook Axel's hand off and stuck his tongue out, a bright, neon-yellow ball smack dab in the middle of it. Axel waggled his eyebrows suggestively and poked out his own orange tongue ring.
The blonde boy grinned and opened his mouth feeling something swell in his chest, his throat... and when he opened his mouth, only silence greeted the air. Roxas blinked, surprised with himself and blushed in embarrassment. Axel cocked his head to the side, watching him with concern, but Roxas only turned away. What had that been all about? It had felt so real, the words, the sounds bubbling up inside of him only to quell and return to dormancy.
"You okay, Rox?" Axel asked quietly, a small knowing smile on his face. Roxas shrugged and the redhead reached over, ruffling the kid's blonde spikes. "It's okay."
Roxas shrunk away from Axel's hand, still a bit mortified. The hell was that?
"C'mon, Rox, you-"
"AXEL! IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW THEN SO HELP ME GOD-!"
"Jesus!" Axel hissed, clutching at his chest where his heart was pounding between his ribcage. Roxas was in almost the same situation, only he had fallen off the couch from fright.
"AXEL, I'M GOING TO-"
"SHUT UP! I'M FUCKING COMING, GOD!" Axel sighed in annoyance, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Yell it fuckin' louder, Dem," he grumbled, reaching out a hand to help Roxas up. "I don't think they heard you in Never Was." Grumbling to himself, Axel stalked down the hall to unlock the door, letting a frazzled fauxhawked blonde in. Demyx made a beeline for the living room, making an almost practiced dive under the coffee table. Roxas shot him a suspicious look and pulled his legs up onto the couch as though Demyx would just jump out and start gnawing on his legs.
"Um... is he on pills, or something?" Axel asked after Larxene let herself in.
"Hell if I know. Got any food?" Without waiting for a response, Larxene sauntered off into the kitchen, completely forgetting about Demyx and Roxas.
"Shut up!" Demyx wailed from underneath the coffee table. "If anyone asks, I'm not here!"
"Dude, c'mon, enough of this bullshit. Leave my coffee table alone." Axel walked over to the table, giving one of its legs a hard kick.
"No, no! He's coming!"
"Who is he?!"
"Zexion!"
"...You've gotta be fucking kidding me. What the hell is he doing, coming all the way out here?"
Demyx bit his lower lip, hesitantly sticking his head out. "... He... Well... Nami called when me 'n' Larx were walking over here and she said Zex was over asking for me. So I said 'Why?' and she said 'I dunno' and I said 'And then what?' and she said 'I told him you went to Axel's' and I said 'Fucking hell' and she said 'What?' and I said 'He's going to smack me or something' and she said 'That's stupid' and I hung up and ran over here and now I'm terrified!"
Demyx looked up at Axel expectantly, waiting for an answer, but the redhead only stared at him, mouth agape.
"...Ugh. Demyx. You give me headaches."
Roxas smiled to himself and knelt down on the floor, reaching for Demyx's arm.
"Holy shit, Rox, when'd you get here?!"
Oh, y'know, I just teleported in five seconds ago.
The blonde smirked and motioned with his hand for Demyx to come out.
"No way am I coming out, Zexion could be here any sec-ah!"
Roxas had gone over to the other side of the table and grabbed Demyx by the ankles, attempting to yank him out. Are you kidding me?! I thought you wanted to talk to him, you pussy! Be a man! Grow some balls, dammit!
"No, no, no!" Demyx hissed in protest, grabbing onto the table's legs.
"This is ridiculous," Axel grit out, rubbing his temples at an attempt to fend away an oncoming migraine. "What's so bad about him coming to see you?! What's there to freak out about?!"
"I don't want to see him! What if he comes here and tells me he hates me and never wants me to come near him ever again? Then what? I'll fucking die, okay?!"
"Come on! Roxas grab his legs again, I'll grab his arms-ow! Don't bite me!" Axel glared, sucking on his forefinger. That... little... bitch. He was going to give Zexion hell for making him go through this with Demyx.
Larxene watched from the kitchen doorway, dragging a spoon through a cup of yogurt. "Wow, Deeeemyx, you're such a sissy," she drawled, leering at the blonde.
"Am not!"
"Are too, you fucking girl. Might as well grow a vagina and some boobs because you obviously don't even have the balls to talk to him."
"I do too!" Demyx paused and then narrowed his eyes at Larxene. "Besides, you're not one to talk, since I've never seen you in this type of situation."
Larxene scoffed, shaking her blonde head. "Doesn't make you any less of a girl."
The doorbell suddenly rang, its sound resonating throughout the house and making Demyx squeak.
Roxas was growing quickly tired and disappointed with this display from Demyx. It was a bit pathetic. He had been trying to get Zexion's attention for so long and when he finally had it, he was going to be a chicken about it?
Not on my watch.
Roxas gave Demyx's legs a sharp yank, producing a surprised gasp from the other blonde.
"Rox, man, seriously!"
Roxas glared at him and grabbed Demyx around the waist, hauling him to his feet. Demyx was too shocked to do much except let himself get dragged to the front door. His heart was beating a mile a minute inside his chest, just the thought of seeing Zexion was making his head dizzy, his nerves go haywire. Roxas threw open the front door and shoved Demyx out onto the front porch. Demyx stumbled slightly, bumping his head into a black-clothed chest in front of him. It was stupid, he knew, and everyone else thought it was stupid too... but they couldn't possibly know how he felt.
...It wasn't even spring, yet Cupid was working fucking overtime.
Demyx took a nervous step back and slowly lifted his head, taking in the sight of a slender neck, a pale face framed by dark bangs and a visible violet eye. Surprisingly, Zexion seemed pretty stoic.
"...Z-zex...I..."
"I'm sorry-"
"-I know I-... what?"
Zexion stared at Demyx's surprised expression for a moment before flicking his eyes away. His own face fell a bit, weighed down by sadness. "I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you such a hard time when all you were trying to do was apologize to me."
"Zex... please..." Demyx murmured, shaking his head forlornly. He had so speak, had to say something... what if he said the wrong thing? "Don't apologize. None of this was your fault. Hell, I woulda probably ignored me too if I were you."
Demyx offered Zexion a shaky smile, and lowered himself down onto the steps, motioning for Zexion to sit with him. Zexion didn't move for a long moment before finally relenting and taking a seat next to the blonde.
"It's all... my fault," Demyx began softly, staring blankly at the pavement. "I mean... I was stupid and selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings. It was a terrible thing for me to do, to not help you, especially since you're... you were my friend. I was awful, wasn't I?"
Zexion chose not to answer, staring at his lap instead. If this was going to go right, he was going to have to let Demyx speak.
"You should've never had to be put through that and I'm sorry... I... I don't know how many more apologies it will take..."
"No... it's okay," Zexion muttered softly. "Yeah, you hurt and betrayed me-" Demyx flinched visibly, "-But it takes a lot to admit that you're wrong and apologize over and over after all that. I guess... that kind of makes up for everything."
Demyx flushed in surprise and looked away when Zexion turned to him and smiled slightly. He prayed that his body would not betray him and turn him into a bright red tomato. "I-I... I don't think I'll ever be able to get over what I did to you," Demyx whispered, voice laced with shame.
But Zexion shook his head and lifted his hand, resting it lightly on top of the blonde's. "I'm tired of this, so let's just put it behind us once and for all, alright?"
Demyx passed his free hand over his blushing face, trying to pass it off as tiredness. "Y-yeah... sounds good, Zex. Perfect."
x.x.x
Axel watched Zexion and Demyx angrily from the window, the way they leaned close to speak to each other, the way Demyx's whole face lit up, the way Zexion didn't back away from him, and he seethed on the inside.
"Are you kidding me?" he half-shrieked, rounding on Roxas. "Are you fucking kidding me?! I've been trying to get him to do that for weeks! Weeks! And all he needed was a good kick in the balls?!"
Roxas grinned smugly, flipping Axel the finger.
"Don't look now, but loverboy number one is coming," Larxene drawled, smirking behind her spoon.
"H-hey, Ax!" Demyx called, bursting through the front door with a giant grin on his face. Axel grimaced inwardly, hardly being able to fathom what that look could possibly mean. "Listen, um... I was kind of wondering if it'd be okay if I split for today? I mean, Zex and I-"
"Go, just go," Axel insisted through gritted teeth. "...Quickly, before I change my mind and punch you in the face."
Demyx laughed nervously (Axel really scared him sometimes), and gave the redhead a quick one-armed hug before bounding out the door like an excited puppy. Axel rolled his eyes, exchanging an annoyed look with Larxene.
"Demyx is a sweet kid but just being around him makes me want to take a nap," the blonde female sighed, and then smiled brightly. "Oh, well. Guess I better go. It's not fun without Demyx to poke fun at." With that, Larxene left, still in possession of Axel's yogurt cup (which he didn't really want anymore) and his spoon.
Axel groaned, slumping down on the couch. Roxas smiled to himself, taking a seat beside the redhead.
"They're really good friends, honest," Axel offered, staring up at the ceiling. "They just have... uh..."
ADD?
Axel blinked at the little white screen in front of his eyes and let out a laugh. "Yeah. That. I'm actually kinda glad they left. In my current state, I don't think I'd be able to stand against Dem's constant blabbering or Larxene's sarcasm."
He let out a deep breath and tilted his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. He missed the fleeting warm look Roxas sent his way. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a long while, not even bothering to get up when the phone rang. The answering machine finally decided to do it for them.
"Ax, it's Kairi... you there? Ah, whatever, you're probably having a montage, fornicating with your friends-" Axel snorted at the small giggle he heard in the background, probably Selphie, "-So I'll just tell you that I'm sleeping over Selph's tonight. Oh! And don't forget your meds, byebye!"
"...Auuugggh."
Roxas giggled to himself, casting a sidelong glance at Axel, who threw an arm over his eyes, groaning theatrically.
"Damn you, Kairi." With superhuman effort, the redhead heaved himself off the couch, trudging into the kitchen for his medication. Roxas remained on the couch, staring blankly at the answering machine. So he was going to be alone, huh?
Aw.
When Axel came back in, the blonde threw his Sidekick at him. It was starting to become a predictable routine.
Do you want me to stay with you tonight?
Axel's eyebrows rose practically into his hairline, telling Roxas that he had given the older teen the wrong impression. "And, uh, what context is that question in?"
Perv, Roxas thought, chucking a cushion forcefully at Axel's head.
"Hah!" Axel shouted triumphantly, the pillow missing him by mere inches and bouncing off the wall. "You missed-oh shit. What are you gonna do, shank me with the remote control?"
Roxas arched an eyebrow, daring Axel to go against him. The remote control was clutched in his hand, ready to hit Axel with 500 plus channels.
"You wouldn't."
Roxas stood and took a step closer to him, a smirk spreading across his face. Axel swallowed thickly and made a mad dash for the stairs, nearly kicking the carpet from underneath his feet. Roxas sprung after him, quickly covering distance. Axel double-backed at the top of the stairs, sliding down the banister past Roxas with a huge grin. The blonde whirled around, cheeks flushed from the sudden rush of adrenaline and made an impulsive leap at Axel. His arms flew out around the taller's waist and the two hung in midair for a moment before both bodies toppled right over the railing and into the loveseat that rested against the wall.
"Ugh... holy... shit, kid," Axel groaned beneath the small boy sprawled out on top of him. Roxas was practically motionless, save for the shaking that his laughter produced. He heard Axel's soft chuckles somewhere above his head and the manic beating of his heart.
The two stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to regain their breathing and steady their hearts. Roxas secretly enjoyed listening to the beating get softer and calmer, but Axel didn't need to know that.
"Man, it's never a boring moment with you around," Axel mumbled, gently ruffling the blonde's spikes.
Likewise, Roxas thought, letting out a small, breathy laugh.
"But actually... I wouldn't mind if you spent the night," Axel said with a grin, and then quickly added, "I get freakishly paranoid when I'm alone, so it'd be pretty cool to have some company..." He trailed off at Roxas's lack of response and ran a hand awkwardly through his mane of red hair.
Roxas finally shrugged against Axel's chest. He normally wouldn't have cared either way, but at this point, he would've felt pretty bad for leaving Axel alone in his current state.
"Ah... really? You don't mind? I meant, you don't have to if you don't want to..."
"It's okay," Roxas mouthed, lifting his head with a grin.
"Awesoooome," Axel crowed happily, fluffing Roxas's hair. The boy pouted and swatted at the redhead's hand, eliciting a laugh from him. "So how about you and I hit the Disney Channel and watch the greatest movies in the world for the next... uh... four hours?"
Roxas was already bounding towards the couch with a silly little grin on his face before Axel even finished speaking.
x.x.x
Their movie marathon greatly exceeding four hours and the two teens found themselves stumbling to Axel's room in the dead of night. Their half asleep state induced enough giggling every time they bumped into each other that they almost became wide awake. They tried to hold on to their drowsy state, keeping it deep in their chests, because honestly, both of them wanted to sleep.
Axel shooed Roxas up the stairs to his room, telling him to go rummage around for some clothes to sleep in and crash since he had to down more medicine.
Axel's room was cold, something Roxas realized with annoyance, considering how warm the actual redhead was. He walked across the room, stepping over random articles of clothing and magazines and closed the window after taking a deep breath of what seemed to be the last lingering remnants of summer air. The streets no longer baked quietly in the hours after the sun went down and the children returned to their homes earlier and the fireflies and crickets quickly diminished. He sighed somewhat sadly as he looked around for something to sleep in. Cold weather depressed him a bit because it meant that gone where the hot, idle summer days and the earth slowly died and gathered energy to be reborn. Only the holiday seasons were something to look forward to.
Roxas finally dug out a pair of sweatpants and a tight but ridiculously long red shirt and slid into Axel's bed. The scent of spice, apple, and cigarette smoke calmed him and immediately knocked him out. He hadn't even made it under the sheets.
Axel ambled in a few moments later, drugged up and drowsier than ever. He didn't really need to take them again, but he didn't want to wake up tomorrow morning with Roxas next to him and harsh reality hovering above him ready to bitchslap him in the face.
The redhead stripped down to his boxers, all angles and joints and sharp hipbones, and crawled in beside Roxas. The room was still chilly so he pulled the comforter over both of them and let sleep drag him deeper and deeper into a warm, dark ocean.
Before he fell asleep, he absently realized that he hadn't smoked once that day.