I do not own Suite Life on Deck/of Zack and Cody or any of the characters, I also do not own The Parent Trap.

Grandfather walked right past the ringing phone, reading the morning paper while Carey stood at the top of the stairs, slipping on pair of heels.

"Somebody grab that, please." she asked politely.

Martin passed through carrying a tray with coffee on it. He picked up the phone, balancing the tray with his other hand. "Sprouse residence... Cody?"

Zack walked by. "Yes, Martin?"

He had to do a double take. "Oh dear, it sounded just like you on the phone." he turned back to the call. "I'm sorry, who did you wish to speak with? Cody? Of course. One moment, please." he handed Zack the phone. "A Miles Plotka for you... Sounds like your twin.

"My twin? Very funny." he took the phone and turned away. "Hello? Oh, Miles, how you doin'?"

Cody held the phone as he crossed the bedroom, sneaking into the bathroom and locking the door. "Hey! How's it going over there?." Cody asked

"Oh, everything's quite lovely here. We're expecting a bit of rain today but Miles, can you... hold on for a moment?" Zack saw that the coast was clear and ducked into the hall closet, shutting the door just as Martin walked past.

He did another double-take... "Where'd he go?"

Inside the closet, Zack pulled a string above his head, turning on the light. "Okay, now I can talk. Oh my God, Mom's incredible. I can not believe I've lived my entire life without knowing her. She's beautiful and fun and smart and I love the gowns she designs and her singing is beautiful and I got her talking about how she and Dad first met and what happened between them and if you ask me-"

Cody whistled into the phone. "Zack! Stop! We've got a major problem. You're going to have to bring mother out here immediately."

"Immediately? Are you nuts? I've had one day with her. I'm just getting to know her. I can't. I refuse."

"But this is an emergency. Dad's in love."

Zack laughed. "Get out of here. Dad doesn't fall in love. I mean, not seriously."

"Trust me, he's serious, about this one. He's always holding her hand, kissing her neck, waiting on her hand and foot..."

Zack sunk to the floor. "He is...?"

"It's disgusting."

"Well, you'll just have to break 'em up. Sabotage her. Do whatever you have to. The only one's around here that are suppose to be in love are you and me, and Mom and Dad."

"I'm trying but I'm at a slight disadvantage I only met the man twelve hours ago. You've got to get back here to help me." Cody couldn't help but smile at his brother's words.

"Cody, I can't. I want more time with Mom." Zack found a piece of paper in one of Cody's coat pockets and wrinkled it over the receiver making it sound like static. "Cody, are you still there? I can barely hear you... Cod..." he hung up the phone.

"I'm here! What are you..?"

"Operator... ! Operator... Sorry, think I lost you, Cody." he smiled.

Cody, knowing what was up, held the phone away from his ear. "Thanks for your help, Zack."

Zack cracked open the closet door and crawled out on all fours, only to find his Mother, Grandfather and Martin standing in the foyer, all looking down at him. "Had a phone call. From a friend at camp. It's an old camp tradition... Talk to your best friend from inside a closet... kinda stupid, I know but..." he stood up and placed the phone on the table, sighing.

"So... Breakfast anyone?" Chessy carried two plates across the kitchen to Cody. They were loaded with bacon, eggs, pancakes and toast. "Okay, here we go, most important meal of the day... Eggs sunny side up, bacon, toast and just in case you're really hungry... a stack of humongous chocolate chip pancakes which smell incredible, if I do say so myself." she placed it all in front of Cody.

"Thanks, Chessy." Cody said, not too interested.

Chessy waved her hand over the food, sending it's aroma toward Cody. "Not hungry again? You hardly ate your chili, your favorite food and now you're not eating your breakfast. You're not sick, are you?" Chessy put her hand on Cody's forehead, then joined him at the kitchen table.

"I'm fine, I promise. Where's Dad?"

"He and Miss-" she imitated Meredith, "'I'll just have half a grapefruit, thank you', left about an hour ago. You overslept and he didn't want to wake you. Of course, I'd oversleep too if I was up at midnight making mysterious phone calls from my bathroom."

"Oh, that. I was calling a friend from camp. Miles. He lives in New York."

"Oh, I see and you wanted to call Miles at a time that was convenient for him. Because of the time difference."

"Exactly. Because of the time difference."

"Uh-huh. So you waited until it was three in the morning his time. That makes perfect sense."

"Actually, it was seven at night his time. You see he lives in New York but he was on vacation with his family in Bora Bora." Cody took a bite of bacon and gave Chessy a smile.

Chessy gave him a stare. "Very smooth. Your Dad wants you to go over to his office as soon as you're done with breakfast."

"He does? Thanks." Cody shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth. "I'm done." he rose as Sammy entered, seeing Cody and growled as he scooted around him. "That dog has gotten so weird! Bye, Chessy, thanks again for breakfast. It was great."

Chessy looked down at the plate of untouched food. Cody pushed on the screen door but it went nowhere. Chessy watched him carefully. "Pull, Zack." Cody laughed, pulled on the door and ran out. Chessy picked up the plate on the table picking at the food Cody didn't touch, wondering what was going on.

A little later, Kurt and Cody walked through a huge vaulted room that housed hundreds of wooden barrels filled with wine. Kurt put his arm around Cody, "Kiddo, I'm glad you're here, there's something really important I want to talk to you about."

"That's funny because there's something really important I want to talk to you about."

"Okay, you go first."

"No, you."

"Okay, I want to talk to you about Meredith."

"And I want to talk to you about my mother." he paused. "What about Meredith?"

Kurt was thrown. "W-W-What about your mother?"

"Dad, I'm almost fourteen, how long do you expect me to buy that story that The Stork dropped me on your doorstep?"

"C'mon, Zack, we've talked about your mother..."

"No we haven't. Not really. A boy needs more in life than half of a crumpled old photograph. Dad, I'm a teenager, face it, I need a mother."

"You know what? You're right. You do. Which brings me to-" They turned a corner and bumped into Meredith who was walking with her British assistant, Richard. "Meredith!"

"Hi." she noticed Cody. "Hello, Zack."

"Hi there."

"Zack, this is my assistant, Richard. Richard, this is Nick's son, the one I've been telling you so much about."

Richard spoke with a stuffy British accent. "Oh, hello. How are you, luv?"

"Oh, don't tell me you're British? How lovely." Cody spoke in his own British accent.

Kurt was surprised. "How'd you do that?"

"You do an absolutely marvelous British accent." Richard said.

"Yours isn't bad either, old chap-." Richard laughed.

Meredith turned to Kurt and whispered. "Did you tell him?"

"Almost."

"Hey, if you're free later, why don't we all have lunch on the terrace?" Meredith suggested.

"Actually, I promised Zack we'd hang out together this afternoon." Kurt said as Cody smiled.

"No problem. I've got plenty to do... I'm working on a new label design, Kurty... featuring Y-0-U. You're gonna love it." she blew a kiss. "See you for dinner, darling. Bye, Zack." As Meredith and Richard walked away, she turned to him. "First change I make in that household is to send that two-faced little brat off to boarding school in Timbuktu."

Richard gave an exaggerated shiver. "Oooooooo. Ice woman."

"And proud of it, babe."

Kurt and Cody galloped on horseback over the crest of the mountain. As they slowed their horses to a walk, Kurt spoke to Cody. "So, you excited about our camping trip?"

"What camping trip?"

"What camping trip? The one we go on every summer before you go back to school."

"Oh, that camping trip. Yeah, sure... I can't wait."

"So, Zack, what do you think of Meredith?"

"As what, Dad? Your publicist? Your friend? Your ... ?"

"- Just what do you think of her... as a person?"

"Well, she's cute, she has nice hair, good teeth, she can spell the word YOU... I don't know. Honestly, Dad, the woman's a complete stranger to me. Why do you want my opinion anyway?"

"Well, I'll tell you why... because believe it or not, honey..."

"- Race you back to the ranch, Dad!" Cody jammed his heels into Sprout's flanks and the horse took off like a bat out of hell.

"Zack, I'm trying to tell you something!"

Out of breath, Cody ran up the porch steps and threw open the screen door. Cody stopped in the living room, catches his breath. He was a little panicky. "I'm in so over my head here. I can't handle this alone. I just can't. I'm only one kid." he said to himself.

Chessy peeked her head around the side of the arm chair she had been sitting in. "You got something you'd like to share with the class?"

Cody jumped, frightened. "Oh, Chessy, you gave me a fright!"

"I gave you a fright?"

"You scared me. I didn't know you were like, in here."

Chessy stood up, "You sure there's nothing you want to talk to me about? Like maybe why Sammy never comes near you anymore or why your appetite's suddenly changed or why all of a sudden you're neat as a pin and using expressions like, 'You gave me a fright'?"

"Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, that's all."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say it's almost as if you were..." she shook her head. "Oh, never mind, that's too impossible." she turned to leave.

"- Almost as if I were...? Chessy?"

"Nobody. Nobody. Forget I even mentioned it."

"Almost as if I were... Cody?" Chessy stopped, stunned, goose-bumps popped up all over.

"You know about Cody?"

"I AM Cody."

Just then, Kurt entered, also a little out of breath. "- Why'd you take off like that? I told you I wanted-to talk to you about something? Chessy, why are you looking at him like that?"

"Like what? I'm not looking at him any special way." her eyes began tearing up. "I'm looking at him just like I've looked at her for thirteen years. Since the day he came home from the hospital, six pounds, eleven ounces, twenty-one inches long." she was crying now. "This is how I look at him. Can I hug him?" Chessy, all broken up, hugged Cody like she's hugging him for the first time. "He's so beautiful and so big." Cody gave Chessy a look that said, 'Please don't say anything!' "I'm gonna go make you something special to eat. What would you like? Oh, it doesn't matter. I'll whip up everything we've got." she took off as Kurt approached Cody.

"Why's everybody acting so nutty around here? Zack, we gotta talk."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Honey, look... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family?"

"Part of our family?"

"Yes."

"I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really."

"You do?"

"Totally. it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister."

"Honey, I'm afraid you're kind of missing the point."

"No, I'm not. You're going to adopt Meredith. That is so sweet, Dad.."

"I'm not going to adopt her, I'm going to MARRY her."

"Marry her? That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?" he stared ranting and raving, then slipped into French. "Je n'arrive pas à le croire! Je n'arrive pas à te croire! Vous etes stupide!"

"Zack, calm down." he realized what his son had just said. "Now you speak French?"

"I learned it at camp." he took a breath. "Okay, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly and rationally..."

"And in English, if you don't mind. Man, what has gotten into you?"

"Nothing. It's nothing... Just... Just..." he inhaled deeply, and let it all out. "Dad, you can't get married! It'll totally ruin completely everything!" Cody stormed out.

Kurt noticed Chessy standing in the doorway, biting her nails nervously. "Don't look at me, I know nothing."

A horn honked outside and Kurt looked out the window and saw Meredith getting out of her red Mercedes convertible. Kurt sunk into a chair, as he heard Zack's door slam upstairs. "Maybe I am too old for this." Kurt said.

Meredith swept into the room, wearing sunglasses. "Hi, doll." She sat on Kurt's lap, wrapping her arms around him. She kissed him, and kissed him again. She ran her fingers through his hair. "You look stressed, baby. How about a Martini?"

"How about a double?"

Meredith snapped open her purse and took out a Tiffany box. She removed a small sliver bell which she held up and rang. "Chessy?" she called and rang it again as Kurt gave her a curious look. "Don't you love it? it's just what we need. It's such a big house." she rang again.

Chessy appeared, not too wild about the bell. "You rang?"

"Two martinis, please. And make Mr. Martin's a double." Chessy just stood there.

"Please, Chess. I'm getting a migraine..." Kurt smiled a bit.

Chessy held her shirt-tails out as if they were a skirt and curtsied.

"I don't know if a uniform will make her look better or worse." Meredith said.

Kurt rubbed his temples. "I told Zack."

"You did? And?"

"He went ballistic. Started yelling in French, which I didn't even know he spoke, I just don't get him lately..."

"Kurty, this reaction is totally classic. It's 'Daddy's Getting Remarried - 101'. I'd worry if he didn't react this way. Look, why don't I talk to him..."

"He's a little sensitive about you right now."

Meredith kissed him. "That's why I need to do it. We've got to break the ice sometime." she unbuttoned Kurt's shirts top button. "Wear your shirt like this... I like when I can see a little chest hair."

Cody sat on Zack's deck, feet propped-up on the banister, shuffling a deck of cards. Meredith appeared behind him, knocking on the open door. "Knock-knock." Cody turned around. "Can I join you?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

"Guess the news of the engagement came as a bit of a shock, huh?"

"Basically."

"You know, I remember what it was like to be thirteen. I had my first beau at thirteen. It's a wonderful age. You're starting to feel like an adult and believe it or not, soon you'll understand what it's like to be in love."

"Love? I don't think you know the half of it.."

"Well, take it from someone who fell in love very early in life... being in love is a fantastic mystery that takes a man and woman on a magical journey to a place..."

"- I don't mean to be jerky when you're trying to be all mushy and everything but I think I know what mystery my Dad sees in you."

"You do?"

"You're young and beautiful and sexy and hey, the guy's only human. But if you ask me, marriage is supposed to be based on something more than just sex, right? I mean, I'm not even married and yet I know that sex isn't the only thing in my relationships."

"You've had sex? Boy, your father underestimates you."

"Of course I have. But you won't underestimate me, will you, Meredith?" they studied each other carefully.

"So what if I'm young and beautiful? That's not a crime, you know. And for your information, I adore your father. He's exactly the kind of man I always planned on marrying. This is the real deal, honey and nothing you do is going to come between us. The reality is, angel, you are no longer the only one in Kurt Martin's life. Get over it."

"If this is the real deal, then my Dad's money has nothing do with you wanting to marry him, right?"

"I hope you're not suggesting I'm marrying your father for his money."

"All I know is, I've seen Cinderella a few zillion times and I'd rather not end up scrubbing the floors and befriending all the birds in the neighborhood while you're having breakfast in bed... if you get my drift?"

"You are unbelievably out of line, young man." she rose up from her seat. "Now you listen and listen good. I'm marrying your father in two weeks whether you like it or not. So I suggest you do not tangle with me anymore. You're in way over your head. Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

Heh' ... so ... .'