Warnings: yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino

Authors Note: I apologize for the mistakes and spellings – feel free to correct me…

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- 4 – Raping My Soul -

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"What are you still doing in bed?" I look out from under the covers at Kaien – I know that it's nearly time when the brothel will open its doors, but I just don't feel like myself today. And it's all his fault – Kaname Kuran. After that dreamful night, two weeks have gone by without him showing up – was I just a plaything for him? But I got the feeling that there was something more between us.

"Just leave me alone for today."

"Are you not feeling well?" if I tell him that I'm not, he will believe me. I'm sorry, Kaien.

"That's right."

"Don't let yourself be deceived – he's just faking it," Kain – I will so kill him. "Don't glare at me, you can't fool me."

"Okay, I get it," I get up from the bed, "so, what do you want?" the question is meant for Kaien, as it's unusual for him to be in my room at this time – Kain's the only one who is allowed to be here at this time, to help me get ready.

"I came here to tell you that Kaito Takamiya is here," he also hadn't shown up till now since he left that night that Kaname came here the first time. I think that I can't refuse to go and see him, after what I have told him then.

"He wants to talk to you – now," what's this? He wants to talk? I'm curious.

"Can you take me to him?" I take the silken robe from Kain, putting it at top of my casual clothes as I walk out from my room after Kaien. He's taking me to Yagari's office? He should have told me, I know the way – it's not like I will run away. As I step inside, the two occupants of the room look our way – Kaito walking to me with a sad smile on his face, hugging me tightly.

"I missed you so much," I hug him back, accepting the light kiss on my right cheek. When he looks at me again, the smile is more sincere.

"Come on Yagari, let's give them a little alone time," Kaien pulls Yagari out, closing the door and leaving the two of us alone. I let Kaito pull me towards the big couch, sitting down first.

"I'm sorry for my appearance, but you wanted to see me right away, so…"

"To me, it doesn't matter what you wear," he interrupts my apology, crouching down before me and kissing my hands lightly – his eyes that are locked with mine are shining with happiness now.

"So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" he lets go of my hands, sitting beside me on the couch and looking nervously at his fingers on his lap. Why is he so nervous? What is it he wants to tell me?

"I've done a lot of thinking while I was away from you," he's starting to scare me, looking all serious like that – I don't know this side of him. "I want you to be always with me – I want to buy you out."

"What?" I'm speechless – and shocked. This opinion never even crossed my mind. I… I don't know what should I do – how should I respond. Three weeks ago, I think that I would have accepted his offer, but now… now that I had known what love is, now that I love someone for the first time this badly, I don't think that I can give Kaito the answer he wants to hear.

"I get jealous every time that I think that someone else's hands are on you, that someone else besides me is holding you, kissing you," he looks up, our eyes meeting. "I love you, Zero."

"I… Kaito, I…" never in my life have I heard sincere words than these – it's painful knowing that I can't return his feelings. What should I do?

"I already talked to Yagari about it," a sad smile is now on his face – he was hoping for other reaction from me, "He says that the decision is yours to make."

"What about your family?" that's right. He's the heir, he has to think about his position and social standing. Buying a courtesan out of a brother, it could damage his reputation – not to mention what his family will think about it. "Won't they…"

"I already talked to them, and they gave me their permission – saying something like that if I was to have a male for a lover, they don't have to worry about illegitimate children. Of course I had to promise them that I would marry a girl they will choose for me in the future. But Zero, you will always be the only one I will ever love. So please, promise me that you will think about it."

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I'm so happy. I can't believe that this day finally came. Yesterday, after we closed, Yagari told me that Mr. Kuran will come today. I know that Kaito is still waiting for my answer, and I have thought about an answer these two days, but now that Kaname is back – I'll see what will happen today. It's not like I can tell him that I have fallen for him so hard that I want to be with him. I decided to wear the same red kimono I had on the first time we met.

"Is he that good?"

"What do you mean?" I look at Kain, he seems kind of frustrated.

"Your mood changed to better as soon as you heard that he's coming," so what? Do I not deserve to be happy? How do they say it – love makes you blind? I feel exactly like that. I don't care about anything else because I can finally see him – and I hope for even more.

"Oh yes, he's already here – in the Cherry room," what is he saying? But why is he here so soon? The brothel hasn't even opened yet – I hope he isn't here to just talk to me like Kaito was. But on the other hand, if he wants to tell me exactly what Kaito had said, than I… No. That can't be it, because the time we spend together was so short.

"You're telling me this just now? Move!" I run to the cherry room as fast as the kimono is allowing me, too excited to care what others are thinking by seeing me like this. There it is – I can see the slide-door. Just a few more seconds before I can see him again – I hope he will greet me with that sweet smile of his I have fallen in love with.

"Kaname," I breathe out his name as I enter the room, stopping as I see just an empty room before me. What is this? Where is he? Looking to my left to the small attached room, I see thru the opened slide-door that it's also empty. With the corner of my eye, I see movement behind me.

"Hello there, sweetheart," I turn around slowly as the unfamiliar voice reaches me, a tall man standing there before the now closed door. Who's he? Did I get the wrong room?

"My name is Rido Kuran. Im Kaname's uncle. And as you can see, he's not here," Kaname's uncle? So that's why he looks like him – but just a little. And his eyes – one blue and the other red – there is something frightening in them. Why is he here? Was it him who wanted to meet me and not Kaname? Well, Yagari said that it was a Mr. Kuran, and it was me who automatically assumed that it would be Kaname.

"You really are beautiful – a real silver rose," he walks closer to me, touching my silver hair – I'm still shocked about my naiveté.

"What business do you have with me?" I finally find my voice.

"Is that how you speak to a paying customer, whore?" whore? I shake away his hand – how dare this arrogant bastard call me a whore! I don't intend to let him further insult me.

"You have no right to call me…"

"Oh please. Wake up already. What else do you call a person who lets himself be held by different customer every night? Ah, that angry look is so… exiting," this… this – how can he be Kanames uncle? He's nothing like him. "Let us have some fun, sweetheart," before I have the time to react, he grabs me by my hand, pulling me with him to the smaller room and throwing me onto the futon.

"What the hell do you think you're…" the words stuck in my throat as I look up at him, seeing the demonic expression on his face – it sends shivers down my whole body – and they are not because of excitement. There's something in this man that is scarring me, making me unable to move.

"I heard that you're the best," as he nears me, he undoes few buttons of his shirt, "I hope that you will prove it to me."

"Like hell will that happen!" I try to stand up, but he moves fast and I find myself lying on my stomach, my hand twisted behind my back – I can't help but scream out from the pain.

"I like your voice. It's so exciting," he whisper into my ear, "sing for me more, sweetheart." His other hand goes under my kimono, sliding across my leg, not stopping until it founds my rear, grabbing at it. "Nice."

"What?" I gasp out as he lets go of my hand, rolling up the fabric of my kimono and I hear a zipping sound – Kami. He's not going to… I try to lift myself, but his hand on my back holds me down and I feel his aroused member touching my rear as he leans at me… he's really going to.

"Don't," I gasp out, the breath stuck in me as I feel him at my entrance. I try to relax, as he pushes into me, to make it less painful – but I can't hold back the cry when the pain strikes me.

"More. Sing for me more," I feel wet tears sliding down my cheeks, and I bite into my hand as not to scream more as he starts to move – I won't give him the pleasure to hear me cry. "You're so tight," of course you bastard – you haven't prepared me. Kami, it hurts – I think that he had torn me up. I feel so… filthy. Every time he enters me, I want to scream out – why did Yagari let this bastard do this to me? I… I thought that…

"Kaname," I let his name out between painful gasps – I haven't even realized it.

"It's not good manners to call out other mans name when I'm the one entering you," he leans at me, entering me much deeper than before – I bite my lips this time not to cry out again. "I'll tell you something. It will be better for you if you would forget about him – because he's getting married." What?

"Oh, you don't believe me?" he must have gotten a glimpse of my face, the surprise visible. "What have you thought? That after that one night he spend with you, that you will became someone special to him? He already had a fiancé at that time – you were just an entertainment to him," it hurts. His words hurt much more than his thrusts. "I told you – you are just a whore. Nothing more."

I… I… he's right. He's so right – and because he's right, his words hurt me even more. What was I thinking? That there is some better life for me? That as a courtesan, I have a future filled with love? I was happy with the way things were before he came – before I got to know this feeling. So why… why have I destroyed it all by doing such a foolish thing? I don't think that it can go back to how I was before.

I'm too much absorbed in my thoughts as to pay attention to the two pairs of legs that are coming closer – to the voices filling this small room – to him leaving my body – to those two protective arms that are pulling me into a safe embrace, stroking my hair in attempt to calm me down.

"Kain, please show Mr. Kuran politely the way out," the voice by my head says calmly to the other person that came with him. He lets me cry out the pain, not saying anything but being there for me, waiting for me to calm down.

"I think that it would be best for you to accept Kaito's proposal," the calming voice of Kaien Cross says to me – and those words resonate in my mind like atonement for my broken heart.

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-The next chapter: - Our Future –

…The next chapter will be the last one – what will be Zeros decision? How will his story end?