I'm back! Finally!
I don't own avatar, but me, katt, Bob, Eve, (you'll find out soon) my created military hardware, my personification of Eywa and anything not made in china is mine!
Adventus: [walks in] A week of complete bullcrap finally over..
Grace: Just because someone can't do physics.
Adventus: [shoots grace] Shut up! Now, what's been happening?
Katt: [leans over] I killed Tsu'tey while they were sleeping. But no one cares!
Jake: [running around holding a torch] Yay! The wicked witch of Pandora is dead!
Adventus: Right.. on with the dares!
LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI
*Katt and Adventus have a UFC fight in the middle of the forest
*EVERYONE MUST LISTEN TO JUSTIN BEIBER AND SUSAN BOYLE (Gag me)
*Like, Quaritch like, talks like a like valley girl to like piss everyone like, off!
*Grace and Parker must play 7 minutes in heaven... and try not to kill eachother.
*(How can you resist this one?) PUT TSU'TEY AND JAKE AND QUARITCH IN LEOTARDS AND THEY HAVE TO DANCE TO SWAN LAKE!
LOL looking forward to another chapter!
Adventus: Hmm, interesting. [turns to katt] Sorry about this, but it's my job. [punches katt in the face]
Katt: Owww! You're not nice! WAAAAAAAAA!
Adventus: …It's a dare, Katt. We're supposed to fight each other.
Katt: Ohhhhhh. [whacks adventus across the face with a plank of wood] This is fun!
Adventus: [spits out a tooth, gives it to eywa] Here, hold that. [kicks katt in the stomach, who in turn grabs his leg and throws him through a window]
Eywa: [looks around, then puts the tooth in her covering] He didn't say to give it back..
Katt: [turns] HEY! What are you doing!
Eywa: [blushes] Nothing.
Katt: Oh no! You must be a cow in disguise! [starts chasing eywa around]
Adventus: [crawls through the window] That's it! [turns on speakers blaring Justin beiber and susan boyle, oh, and gags LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI]
Jake: Ohh god! The agony! Turn it off! [rolling around on the floor]
Neytiri: [running around, cursing in na'vi]
Katt: [curled up in a ball crying] TURN IT OFF!
Wainfleet: [dancing for no apparent reason] Yeah! Get some!
Adventus: [turns off music] Better?
Almost everyone: [glares at adventus]
Adventus: What? [turns] Sorry but I can't use that dare. Can't understand it properly. However! As a compromise, Quaritch will say everything in Na'vi the whole time!
Quaritch: Bah! Skxawng!
Adventus: Yeah like that. Next dare! [reads] HAHAHAHAHAAH! HAHAHAHAHAH! IN YOUR FACE PARKER!
Parker: [eats his carrot] Huh?
Adventus: [gets parker and grace] Let me put this simply for both of you. [stuffs them in a closet]
Katt: [scratching at the door] But I want to go in the closet! Waaaaa!
Adventus: [whispers] Later, Katt. Later.
Katt: [giggles]
Eywa: [bursts out crying]
Jake: What's that all about? [nudges quaritch]
Quaritch: Eywa neu ne muntxa hu Adventus! [glazed look]
Adventus: [spits out tea and starts coughing]
Jake: What dit he say?
Neytiri: [smiles] He said ' Eywa wants to mate with Adventus'.
Jake: Whoa!
7 minutes later!
Katt: A few minutes ago there was lots of banging on the door. It's gone now..
Quaritch: Fo kerusey!
Neytiri: [rolls eyes and translates] 'They're dead'.
Adventus: [opens the door]
Katt: [screams]
Grace and Parker: [go red]
Adventus: Ewwww. I'm totally posting that on youtube! Next dare!
Katt: Can we go in the closet now?
Adventus: Fine. [magically turns on swan lake and makes jake and quaritch have leotards, before disappearing into the closet with katt]
Jake and Quaritch: [dancing while swearing madly in navi and English]
Everyone: [runs around screaming, or laughing madly]
HowlingWolf4Life
This is EPIC!I got some dares *laughs evilly*
1.I feel sorry for Tsu'tey so here ya go pal! *an exact clone of Neytiri pops out of nowhere* Have fun with her *winks*
what to do with Fart...(Quaritch) *snaps fingers* I got it!He has to give everyone a kiss on the cheek!Talk about torture,haha.
has to go through this gender-bender machine! *uses awesome review powers to make it pop in*
,sing the do you like waffles song for my amusement =D
10 minutes later!
Adventus: [comes out of the closet] Ah! Dares! [throws a clone of neytiri at tsu'tey]
Tsu'tey: [comes back to life] Yes! Finally! In your face JakeSully! You've got the old version!
Neytiri: Old version? [shoot tsu'tey in the shoulder with an arrow]
Tsu'tey: Owwww!
Gender bender machine falls on Quaritch
Adventus: Good! My package is here. [signs paperwork] Now!
Everyone: [dosen't listen]
Adventus: EVERYONE! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!
Everyone: [sits down]
Adventus: [smiles] Thank you. Now. Na'vis first! Heheh.
Jake: [looks like piral]
Piral: [slightly thinner version of jake]
Neytiri: [turns into a na'vi male with long hair and feminine curves. Hehehe]
Tsu'tey: No! [his clone gets turned into a male]
Adventus: Tsu'tey won't go in. It's funnier if he goes with… [smiles] AH! Tsu'tey, you are now Jake's life mate! Have fun!
Jake and Tsu'tey: Ahhhhhhh!
Adventus: [throws katt and eywa through]
Eywa: [looks exactly the same] Yeah! I'm a spirit! This is just a physical form!
Adventus: Damn it!
Katt: [male version of herself] Oh no! I look like a retard! [cries] I LOOK LIKE HIM! [points to jake]
Adventus: Poor Katt. Too bad I don't care. [chucks quaritch through the machine]
Quaritch: [turns into trudy] Bahhh! Kehe! Kehe!
Adventus: [throws trudy in the machine, she looks like norm]
Trudy: Well ain't that a bitch.
Adventus: Indeed! [throws norm through and he looks like a female rat] Not sure how that works..
Quaritch: [chases norm]
Adventus: [throws wainfleet and parker through, wainfleet turns into a kiwifruit, and parker turns into a large rock] Right… [grace turns into parker and max turns into grace] Well, here goes. [jumps through]
Quaritch: [jumps in again, turning him back into a male] Yeah!
Adventus: [female face looks around] Quaritch can speak English? Quaritch is a male! How did this happen?
Quaritch: I taught myself English!
Adventus: Fair enough. [machine explodes in the background] Now, Quaritch has to, ewww, kiss everyone on the cheek..
Quaritch: Yeah! I'm going to give you some!
Wainfleet: [rolls out quaritch as a kiwifruit]
Quaritch: [eats him]
Jake: Oh my god! You killed Wainfleet!
Norm: You Bastard!
Adventus: [walks out, looking like katt but slightly taller, with dark blue stripes, as well as one vertical stripe from waist to upper chest (I aint saying that word) and with a leather V like necklace and double loincloth. Neytiri like hair] Uh, yeah! On with the dare.
Katt: Tsu'tey keeps staring at you. Get him!
Tsu'tey: [not blinking]
Adventus: Charmed. [punches tsu'tey in the stomach]
Quaritch: Hehehe, now!
20 minutes of despicable crap later!
Adventus: [uses a whole bottle of dettol hand sanitizer] Ewwwww.
Eywa: Hey! We need to come up with a name for the authoress!
Adventus: Eve. [turns] Now! Ni'nat, you know what to do!
Ni'nat: [takes a deep breath]
Do you like waffles?
Yeah we like waffles!
Do you like pancakes?
Yeah we like pancakes!
Do you like French toast?
Yeah we like French toast!
do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!
Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!
do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!
Do you like waffles?
Yeah we like waffles!
Do you like pancakes?
Yeah we like pancakes!
Do you like French toast?
Yeah we like French toast!
do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!
Everyone: [claps and whistles]
Eve: Next dares please.
oh, i`ve got a dare! have jake chalenge someone to a computer game showdown [something like streetfighter or the tranceformers game] and make them all live a day in a condo with achmed the dead terrorist! lol! [look him up on you tube, that puppet is awsome!"
Zandermon
Jake: [male again] Very well Norm, I challenge you to a game of Transformers!
Norm: You're on!
4 hours later!
Jake: Uhh, I can't do this anymore.. [hits the keyboard]
Norm: [still mindlessly playing]
Eve: Norm wins! Therefore he can go with Trudy!
Norm: Yay!
Trudy: Oh god no..
Eve: Hmm well, AUTHOR POWERS! [teleports everyone to some condo]
Achmed: Ah! I kill you!
Quaritch: I'm sorry to break it to you, but you're dead.
Achmed: No I'm not.
Eve: Yes you are.
Achmed: You're dead!
Eve: Good point. [shoot quaritch in the head]
Jake: Hey Shot put! [grabs achmed and throws him out the window]
Quaritch: [laughs]
Eve: Right.. Hey! I've got an idea!
Norm: No one cares!
Eve: Go **** yourself Norm! Besides, what if we make Jake a suicide bomber?
Jake: Cool!
Neytiri: What's suicide?
Eve: Nothing to be worried about.. [stuffs jake with explosives and throws him at a passing car] Next Dare! [explosion in the background]
Jack The Reaper
HOLY FUCK!
BEAR GRYLLS!
Damn, we have him on TV here too. I remember when he drunk that elephat-shit-water-whichhehadsqueezedoutofit. xD
Okay, Bear Grylls, I dare you to survive in the jungle... WITHOUT eating any insects, drinking any crap-water, or using your trusty knife. =D
And, Eywa, I dare you to kidnap Adventus for the duration of this chapter. And while you do that...
"Shows a large box of strawberries to Kat, before running away with her on my heels."
Bear Grylls: Easy! I'll be back for my broadcasting later! [runs off into the forest]
Eve: He's going to die.
Katt: I know.
Eywa: [reads dare then looks at eve] WAAAAAAAA!
Eve: Fine. [turns into a male adventus] You guys have fun. [gets pulled off by an incredibly happy eywa]
Jack The Reaper: [runs off with katt after him]
2 days later!
Bear Grylls: [walks in covered with mud] I'm back!
Katt: [sitting on jack the reaper stuffing her face with strawberries] Why are you covered with mud? You look like Jake!
Neytiri: [bursts out laughing]
Bear Grylls: Well, I kind of walked in with Adventus and Eywa. Well, she's very protective of her mate. [looks at katt]
Katt: [nearly chokes] MATE! Oh no! The cows have got him! I've got to take drastic action! [stuffs a bunch of strawberries in her loincloth, calls bob and bound off into the distance]
1 minute later!
Katt: [drags adventus in]
Eywa: [sleeping soundly on adventus as katt is dragging him]
Adventus: [stands up making eywa whack her head on the ground] Next Dare!
Hideout Writer
Quaritch must fight Eywa. Eywa is given as her weapons anything that could possibly be found within the Pandoran jungle. Quaritch gets as many AMPs as you can fit into Hell's Gate, two helo-type units and a Dragon gunship. If Quaritch loses, he gets assimilated by Eywa -a very slow and painful process for him- and if Eywa looses, she must mate with him after turning him into a Navi. (heheheheheheheheheheheheh! I wanted to say that for so long! *mischievous grin*)
Adventus: Interesting. For the Helo-type units he can use two Panther-11s. Read my profile.
Eywa: [mounts bob as her trusty steed] Uhh yeah! I'm ready! If I win I want to get Adventus!
Adventus: Don't push it. [smiles] Quaritch, get off your ass and get ready!
Quaritch: [counts] I've got 40 AMPs, a Dragon, and two Panthers. I'm ready.
AMP Dudes: [marching] Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!
Eywa: [pulls out a fancy white and black bow] Why don't you get some? [shoots down an AMP dude]
AMP Dudes: [walk over the guy not noticing] Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!
Quaritch: You morons! Fire!
AMP Dudes: Whoa, whatever old fart! [start firing in all directions]
Panther-11 pilot: Papa Dragon, this is November 1. Starting our at-
Panther-11 pilot #2: Hey! I'm November 1! You're November 2!
Panther-11 pilot: That's not how it works! I'm November 1, you're November 2!
Panther-11 pilot #2: You're mum's November 2!
Panther-11 pilot: Oh yeah? We'll see about that white boy! [slams into the other helicopter]
AMP Dudes: Whoa! Fireworks!
Eywa: [after making bob smash into some more AMPs, jumps on a banshee] I've almost got him! [flies on the side of the dragon]
Quaritch: Hold Fire!
AMP Dude: He said fire! [fires a 120 mm cannon at eywa]
Eywa: [dodges, the shell hitting the dragon sending it crashing to the ground]
Quaritch: [crawls out of the cockpit, looking at an AMP dude] You're fired!
AMP Dude: [drops the cannon] Catch me if you can dude! [runs off into the distance laughing]
Eywa: [picks up quaritch by the neck] I got him!
Quaritch: This is so degrading..
Eywa: I agree. [snaps his neck]
Adventus: [comes out of nowhere] Excellent job! Quaritch has to worship you for 3 chapters! Next Dare!
Eywa: [sheepishly smiles]
Vskrainaek
Luck! Since this is called "Pandoran Truth or Dare!", can we have some truths? Here are some ideas:
Quaritch: His deepest, most secret fear.
Grace: Whether she really likes plants better than people.
Jake: How many times did he fall off that pa'li when he was learning to ride?
Wainfleet: Why is he always saying "Get some!"?
Have fun...this should be good.
Adventus: Good change of theme. Quaritch, your deepest fear, now! Remember, I respect all your views!
Quaritch: Religion.
Adventus: ….Bahahahahahaah! That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard!
Grace: Depends on the people. I prefer Na'vis to plants, but it's the other way around for humans..
AMP Dudes: Racist! Get her!
Grace: [gets shot in the head]
Jake: I got her!
AMP Dudes: Whoa…
Jake: I fell off that direhorse 83 times!
Adventus: Really? How'd you remember?
Jake: I remember because that's how old Mo'at is.
AMP Dudes: Hahahahahahahaah! She's an old fart too!
Adventus: And finally, Wainfleet. Why do you always say, 'get some'?
Wainfleet: [sits on grace's corpse] It all happened 2 years ago..
AMP Dudes: Whoa! Baldy's telling a story!
Jake: Who cares!
Wainfleet: [turns] Shut your mouth bro! Anyway, you see, my sister used to work on Pandora, so I went over there to-
AMP Dudes: Oh! You sick dude Wainfleet! Second base! [hi5 each other]
Wainfleet: I went over there to help her deliver some package, and she told me the scientists needed to 'get some'. Since then I've remembered that!
Adventus: What happened to your sister?
Wainfleet: I ate her. Story time's over!
Adventus: Uh.. okay. Next Dare!
Oh well then! how about I ask BEYRAL to jump down Adventus' throat with her knife drawn cause she didn't get to kill Quaritch!
"Oh crap you're probably going to use that as a dare arent you!"
you didn't even do rozenmaiden158's Tsu'teyxGrace Date!
Maybe you should use that as one of your next ones.
Yes Tsu'tey MUST have dinner with Grace!
I had alot of ideas for dares but I can't remmember now!
But I have a finale for you.
Jake finds the machinegun he used in the film and the AMP bayonet that he used at the end. He then procedes to chase Adventus around the mansion for putting him through hell. He is followed closely by Neytiri for the same reason, who is followed by Quaritch in his AMP (who is cursing prufusely because Jake broke his AMP's gun for the blade). All the other characters bring up the rear with the Navi chasing him with a number of weapons, Selfridge chasing him with a golf clu proclaiming:
"You stole my carrot!"
And finally Trudy trying to get to her Samson while Wainefleet tries to eat her.
Wainefleet, the AMPdudes, Bob and Katt are then distracted be a large shiny portal to the world of reviewers (this allows Trudy to get into her cocpit and join the chase. Then I turn up in my Galactian body armour and Na'vi warpaint.
"Hey Wainefleet!"
"Yeah"
"Go get some!"
"Wooohooo Pussies gtesomegetsomegetsome!"
(Me to AMPdudes) "Well follow him and you might get some if there's any left"
"FAG!"
"You're FAGS GO NOW"
They leave me with Katt and Bob.
"Hey Bob (I say to the Thanator) Did you know that Adventus is a really large rare Slinger"
"SLINGER! slingerslingerslingerslinger!"
Katt is performing the following action:
Smile
Frown
Smile
Frown
"What's wrong Katt?"
"I love him but it's funny to watch"
"Hmmm well I caused this so what you gonna do about it"
Katt lunges.
The fight that follows is brief, due to me tying up Katt in a bag and throwing her into a river.
Well that's me calmed down.
Another dare might be:
NormxBeyral
NormxNinat (he would like that)
Trudyxwainefleet or Quaritch.
Norm or any other character has to win a staring contest with Bob after he's eaten six slingers and forty tins of beans AND not washed for a month.
Well that's me out of ideas they wer'nt much good anyway.
Ireyu for the laughs.
Oel ngat kame.
Adventus: Ohh, harsh. And it's Irayo, ma tsmukan.
Tsu'tey: [drags grace off]
2 minutes later grace and tsu'tey are sitting at a dinner table!
Grace: So, how's life?
Tsu'tey: Bah!
Grace: Same here.
Adventus: [puts the famous bowl of spaghetti on the table] Bon appetite [walks off] Wankers..
Tsu'tey and Grace: [get some spaghetti..]
Grace: Ewwwwwww!
Tsu'tey: Bahhhhhhhh! [runs off into the forest]
Adventus: Excellent. Just as I predicted!
Piral: It says here I have to jump down you're throat with my knife drawn!
Adventus: [smirks] You can try.
Piral: [jumps with a knife]
Adventus: [moves out of the way]
Piral: [lands head first in the dirt]
AMP Dudes: [burst out laughing] EPIC FAIL! THIS IS SOOO GOING ON YOUTUBE!
Quaritch and Wainfleet: [put trudy in a tug of war in their AMPs]
Wainfleet: [pulls off trudy's head] Uhhh bro…
Quaritch: You have half and I'll have half!
Wainfleet: Deal!
Quaritch: [stretches out his hand]
Wainfleet: [takes quaritch's half and runs off laughing]
Norm: [grabs ni'nat AND piral] Ha! Don't look so smart now do you Adventus?
Adventus: [sitting on a chair near a desk with eywa and katt affectionately head butting him] Pfft. Amateur..
Norm: Damn it! [looks around] Is anyone willing to trade?
Piral: [slaps him in the face]
Adventus: And for the last dare of the day! Norm, you are to engage in a staring comp against Bob! May the best thanator win!
Norm: But I'm not a thanator..
Adventus: Exactly!
Norm and Bob: [look at each other]
Norm: [burps]
Bob: [tilts his head 90 degrees]
Norm: [copies him]
Bob: [turns his head 180 degrees]
Norm: [falls over while still keeping eye contact]
Bob: [farts audibly]
Norm: Ahhh! Tear Gas! [runs around crying]
Bob: Slinger!
Adventus: And lastly, I introduce new characters!
Jake: Oh, no!
Wii and Pc Avatar characters: [teleport in]
Ryder: Oh no. This must be another one of Falco's plans!
Rai'uk: Bah! Sky Person! [chases after ryder]
Amanti: [gasps] Eywa! [starts bowing]
Eywa: [sitting on adventus, and promptly blushes] Um, yeah! That's me!
Amanti: Wow! Who's that? [points to adventus]
Eywa: [blushes further] It's.. um…. my mate.
Amanti: Oh. Fair enough.
Eywa: [breaths a sigh of relief]
Tsahik Sanume: [runs in] Ahhhh! Blasphemy! [throws a rock at adventus]
Adventus: [looks at eywa] Friends of yours?
Eywa: No.
All Na'vis: [faint]
Adventus: [teleports everyone to sleeping quarters] Well..
Eywa: …I'm sleeping under the desk.
Katt: No! That's my spot!
Adventus: Whoever said love was bliss obviously hasn't met these two.
Yes! Done! Biggest chapter ever! 4033 words of goodness! Hope you guys like it!
Remember: You can send in dares for the new characters, including Eve.
Eywa Ngahu