I'm back. After 5903 years, ADVENTUS IS BACK.
Surprised?
You should be. I had some problems before, and, I had to go to hospital.
But enough about my problems, here's the:
NEXT CHAPTER!
The place is filled with cobwebs and ruins of a forgotten era…
Adventus: (turns light on) Hey guys! What's up?
Neytiri: You Skxawng! We've been starving! I hate you!
Adventus: Yeah, I love you too.
Quaritch: (throws car) You better bring snacks!
Adventus: Oh. Sorry, I ate a mars bar on the way here.
Quaritch: (facepalm)
Wainfleet: Yeah! Get so- (coughs)
Adventus: Wainfleet has HIV. Now where's Katt and Eywa?
Rai'uk: (points to toilet) Danger ahead!
Amanti: And Katt's over there.
Katt: (walking around headbutting everything in sight)
Adventus: (clears throat) Ahem.
Katt: (tackles him)
Adventus: Ow! My back! Shame on you Katt!
Katt: (sits there) …WAAAAAAAAA!
Adventus: Want some pilchards?
Katt: (stops crying)
Adventus: Well, on with another chapter!
NereusXUnmi
hey i must say this is the funniest story i have ever read!
um guess if you pick my dares:
#1 katt and eywa has to date eachother (i dont know, i want to see what happened)
#2 grace and jake have to talk about the creation of Avatars. (that should be fun...)
#3 eywa and katt must fight each other, if they Adventus so bad.
#4,and my final one; every one in this have to tell their deepiest fear! including adventus!
anyway great fanfic!
Adventus: Thanks for the compliments, sorry I was late.
Quaritch: Really late.
Adventus: Oh piss off. Now, Katt and Eywa?
Katt and Eywa: (turn to look at him from their places on his desk)
Adventus: … you… have to date…. each other.
Katt and Eywa: WHAT? (look at each other in disgust)
Adventus: Well, I ain't getting any younger! (teleports them to a restaurant)
Grace: Ah! (turns to Jake) Now, Avatars are born using a gene-splicing method..
Jake: Avatars are big blue things with tails and loincloths…
2 hours later!
Everyone: (fell asleep from boredom)
Beydaamo: (in his sleep) Banana Banana. Banana banana banana!
Adventus: Where's Katt and Eywa? (door opens)
Katt and Eywa: (talking with their tails entwined with cheerful looks on their faces)
Adventus: (looks at watch) How long have I been asleep for?
Katt and Eywa: (look at adventus, then look at each other) Ewwwww. (quickly back away)
Adventus: Great. Just great. The ToD police will be on me for this one…
Katt: (pulls next dare out of her loincloth) Aha! (tackles and starts clawing Eywa)
Eywa: (kicks Katt in the face)
Katt: ..Waaaaaaa! Why did you do that! My nose hurts!
Eywa: (stops grinning) Oh no! I'm so sorry..
Katt: I don't like you! Waaaaaa!
Adventus: Predictable.
Quaritch: You know my deepest fear.
Neytiri: Uhh…
Jake: (scratches his loincloth)
Neytiri: Tsaherpes..
Jake: My mother in law.
Neytiri: (slaps him)
Peyral: Non continued existence.
Adventus: (raises eyebrows) Really?
Peyral: Kaltxi.
Adventus: Well, we'll see about that!
Peyral: (gulps)
Norm: Jake.
Wainfleet: Morris the killer whale. He's wanting revenge!
Trudy: Not enough gas.
Wainfleet and Jake: (laugh in the background)
Katt: The contents of Tsu'tey's loincloth… (shivers)
Tsu'tey: Thanator! Thanator!
Bob: (tilts head) Slinger?
Adventus: No bob. Your deepest fear!
Bob: (points to his thanator mate) Slinger! Slinger slinger slinger!
Eywa: Gaia.
AMP Dude: No underpants. Oh wait! I'm not wearing any! (hi5s all round)
Adventus: (looks at Katt, then looks at Eywa) Pregnancy. Next dares!
fool i am the weasel
jake has to get his ikran into a poke ball (idk how just make it work)then sing the theme song while being chased by bob
neytiri has to wear a dress and heels
Neytiri: Uhh, how do I fit in this? (holds up a tiny dress)
Adventus: Improvise.
Jake: (grunts from toilet) Uh… get in there.. get yourself in their you bastard! (walks back in)
Adventus: So you got the pok'e ball?
Jake: Oh no, I just did up my zipper.
Neytiri: (smiles) Uhh, I've got the shoes on.
Adventus: Excellent, now Jake! Get that bloody banshee in there!
Jake: It got itself in there….
Wainfleet: Oh man, that is just wrong.
Adventus: Indeed! (sets bob after Jake)
Neytiri: (has her dress caught in bob's tail and gets dragged after him) Help! Kehe! Kehe!
Bob: Slinger!
Jake: (running trying to memorise the lyrics)
Adventus: Wait. You haven't listened to the song?
Jake: No….
Adventus: You complete retard! Next dares!
Jake: Help me!
Wish to be an Avatar Drive
i love the chaper by the way so hear is my dare:
Everyone including you Adventus will be learning the Na'vi Laguage and will speek it for the rest of the Next chaper if one of you speek in eglish instead all Na'vi then you will be Atomic Wedgeied hard core style. By Me and or Katt and or My shadow named Killer 7 trust me killer 7 is ruthless
Adventus: Very well.
Eywa: But I prefer English.
Na'vi: (scream and run around)
Adventus: Ha! Bam! Now we will be talking in Na'vi, but it will be translated to English! But we COULD use your shadow though…
Jake: (gets lifted up in the air by a massive wedgie)
Katt: Next dares!
Adventus: I thought that was my line.
Katt: (sits on his lap) Well, since you were gone so long, we had to improvise. Next Dare!
Light121
how about this put them in the game dead space also make jake watch the worst movie ever in all existence
Adventus: Oh okay. (teleports everyone)
Eywa: Hey, I recognize this place. I remember it was a downloaded server back in the days of online CoD4.
Adventus: (jaw drops) You play online games?
Eywa: Well, when the humans came, I had to get with the times. That's why I was late in helping the Na'vi.
Na'vi: (growl)
Jake: This doesn't seem so bad.. (walks into a slasher thing) Ahhh! It's got 2 dicks for arms!
Adventus: (facepalms and teleports jake to a movie theatre)
Jake: Ahhh! Movie theatre!
Adventus: (gets a slash cutter) Yo wainfleet?
Wainfleet: Yeah?
Adventus: Think fast! (blows his head off)
Grace: Well, that out did mine any day.
Katt: I'm scared.
Eywa: (laughs at Katt) Adventus likes fearless people!
Katt: No he doesn't! He likes me because I'm adorable!
Adventus: Be quiet! I can hear more of those things. Good thing I have my secret weapon! (teleports someone in)
Bear Grylls: I'm Bear Grylls!
Monsters: (scream and run off)
Adventus: (teleports everyone back)
Ryder: So, what movie did you watch Jake?
Rai'uk: Avatar!
Neytiri: Blades of Fury!
Jake: The- wait, what?
Neytiri: (shrugs)
Jake: I watched, the movie based off the video game, Doom.
Adventus: Oh I see. That sucked. Next dares!
Rozenmaiden158
can you do me a big favor and babysit my pet for me vivan
a part wolf /hmuan /navi
she likes to chase people around with chainsaws she also as anger managment she only likes jake and neyteri on wensdays
warning :she gets sugar high
Adventus: Sugar high? Well, we're going to have a great time then.
Katt: What's a chainsaw? (adorable face)
Adventus: That thing. (narrowly dodges one)
AMP Dude: (has a chainsaw in his head) Whoa. Trippy.
Vivan: (growls) Where's my sugar! I know you've got it somewhere!
Katt: (smiles) Well since you asked nicely, it's in my-
Adventus: Katt, don't!
Katt: Oh, yeah.
Eywa: (whispers to vivan) Wainfleet has it!
Vivan: (looks at wainfleet)
Wainfleet: YEAH!
12 minutes of chaos and fighting later!
Blood and furniture strewn across the room.
Adventus: Where's rozenmaiden? We've got a problem.
Wainfleet: No problem bro. It's only a flesh wound! (has a gaping hole in his chest and no arms or legs)
LaTeNiGhTaLuMnI
I have a few
*Jake has to say 'BOOM, HEADSHOT" after everything someone says.
*Quaritch has to be a cross dresser for the day
*Neytiri can't blink for ten minutes
Adventus: Ah, excellent. Fresh dares. Much like fresh muffins.
Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Adventus: Okay then. Quaritch is a transsexual for the day.
Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Quaritch: What? Ah, fuck.
Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!
'ColonelMilesQuaritch kicked from server for foul language'
Quaritch: (comes back 10 mins later wearing a dress) Well, just another day of dares I suppose.
Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Neytiri: (is struggling to keep her eyes open) Um, Jake?
Jake: What is it Neytiri? BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Neytiri: Can you get me a drink?
Jake: INVALID! BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Neytiri: (falls over)
Katt: (kicks her) She's dead.
Adventus: Excellent! Next dares.
Rozenmaiden158
your story is the best its one of my favs
hmm... take all the navi to a humen strip club
i will offer this to you the rozen maiden and her sister in all their gothic lolita elgance will come kick scar dudes ass if you wish. just for fun and also to pick up vivan did she behave?
make all of them put on a broadway musical
Adventus: Thanks for the contribution, and Vivan was like a charm.
(looks at messed up bloodied room)
Katt: Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, this is a human strip club.
AMP Dudes: WHOA! (running around with no underpants)
Adventus: Ahem.
Jake: BOOM! HEADSHOT! (neytiri trying to gag him)
Adventus: Oh, sure. Feel free to kick Quaritch's fat ass.
Quaritch: (still wearing a dress) Aw, crap.
Adventus: (puts rap music on)
They beat up quaritch with baseball bats in slow motion
Adventus: Now, get ready for the Wizard of Oz. Chop chop, I'm not paying you buy the hour.
Ryder: You're not paying us at all.
Adventus: Exactly! So get your ass moving!
30 mins later!
Adventus: So, ye travellers! What would you like from the wizard of Oz? How about you first Dorothy?
Quaritch: Uh, I want to go home.
Adventus: The wizard will send you home! And what would you like, ye tin bastard?
Wainfleet: I'd like to get some! YEAH!
Adventus: The wizard will do so, tinman.
Katt: I'd like some kittens! Hehehehehe!
Adventus: And you will get kittens, after this show. Here's my card.
Katt: (puts it in her loincloth)
Jake: And I'd like a brain!
Adventus: Well, in your case, that's asking quite a lot, but he'll do his best.
Oh god! I can't believe you actualy used that. Oh Bollocks.
But I got one.
Bear Grylls is always finding food in the oddest and most digusting places.
He has to face the AMP dudes AND Wainfleet to see not who can get food first but who can eat eachother first. In other words Bear .vs. Wainfleet and the AMP dudes.
May the best robotic, gun wielding food maniac win.
And also Ryder and Rai'uk have a test to see which of their games is better. Which I would imagine would go something like this. (grabs Adventus and shoves him round a corner so he can listen to the argument)
Ryder:...Ha! you only have two weapons! a staff and a Bow.
Rai'uk: At least my plot is canon loser!
Ryder: (ears flaten against head) yeah but... I get lotsa weapons... and can ride the Leonopterix.
Rai'uk: you dreamt those when you plugged you queue into a Pandoran magic mushroom! And then you got eaten by that slinger obsessed Palulukan. And It's name is Toruk! (clubs Ryder with afformentioned staff).
Ryder: Goes flying and doesn't get back up.
See for the next update.
I suppose I'd better fave' you now.
p.s Thanks for the spelling correction.
Irayo Ma Tsmukan.
Oel ngati kame
Adventus: Thanks for the fave. And no problem.
Bear Grylls: (stretches his mouth wide) IM BEAR GRYLLS!
AMP Dudes: Whoa! (slide into bear grylls mouth)
Wainfleet: Aw, you'll never get me bro! (runs into a window) Ow, shit!
Bear Grylls: (consumes him) Did you get that on camera? Nice. The BBC will like this.
Jake: And now to the international avatar game debate with Rai'uk and Ryder!
Ryder: Yeah well, my plot may suck, but I got the big ass m60.
Ra'iuk: Nonsense! My wii game's in 3D!
Ryder: Okay… but at least I have free flying Ikrans. AND dual swords.
Katt: (holding dual swords) He's got a point.
Ra'iuk: That's it! (shoots him with an arrow)
Jake: BOOM, HEADSHOT! WOOOOOO!
Adventus: Ryder, 3 Ra'iuk…. 271
Tantalus91
Dude, this is some funny shit. I cannot believe just how far you are willing to go to make the characters lives a living hell. Now for the dares... Jake has to tame Toruk the same way he did his banshee / Wainfleet has to go the entire chapter without saying the words "yeah", "get", or "some" / norm must assimilate into a pack of viper wolves. Let's see if wainfleet goes apeshit, shall we? (though in all probability, he probably already has.)
Jake: Uh, okay. (walks up to his toruk)
Adventus: Wait for it…
Katt: (pushes him) Honestly! Useless!
Jake: AHHHHH! (gets annihilated)
Eywa: (doesn't blink) The violence… the gore… I never realised how nice it looked!
Adventus: NOW you're being one in the family.
Norm: (looks at viperwolves) Woof.
Viperwolf #1: Quaritch?
Viperwolf #2: Tastes like chicken!
Viperwolf #1: Tasty?
Viperwolf #3: Less talk, more eat!
Viperwolves: Heheheheheheh!
Norm: Help!
5 more minutes of violence later!
Adventus: Norm! Great source of red meat!
Wainfleet: (reads dare) Yeah, I can do that!
Adventus: Uh, Wainfleet?
Wainfleet: Eh?
Adventus: You just lost the game. (blasts him with a 12 gauge)
Katt: So, the next chapter is finally up?
Adventus: It's up. Now get your asses in the dormitory!
Eywa: What about the viperwolves?
Adventus: Feed em to Bob. I'm going to sleep.
HAHA! I'M BACK FOR MORE! Once again, send in ye reviews. I'll love you for it.
And, I'm thinking of a coming back present. A pairing. The one with the most votes will come in affect immediately.
Eve x Ryder? Eve is the female version of Adventus. An Authoress/Character relationship = controversy.
Quaritch x Grace? Old people. Eww.
Trudy x Jake? An Affair?
Please send me your votes.
Eywa Ngahu. Thanks for reading. This chapter was 3016 words.