Hi, I'm back. So here we are. Wonder what Edward has to say for himself. Thanks again for reviewing, guys, it makes my day! Hugs.

PS- Please look away if you are not of age, this story is rated M for a reason! People of age...this is gonna be good.

Edward rode in silence on the way to my place. The only sound in the car was me, telling the driver, Demitri, where to go and how to get there. When we got out of the car, he told Demitri he would call him shortly. I guess he wasn't planning on staying around. I wasn't planning on keeping him around for that matter.

As the door closed behind us as we walked into my loft, I turned to him, "Welcome to my humble abode," I said sarcastically and gestured to the loft apartment.

"Bella, it's a nice place," he said and smiled at me.

I kicked my shoes off and threw my clutch on the island, and crossed my arms over myself.

"So, you wanted to talk, Cullen? Then talk."

"Listen, I'm sorry this is the way we had to meet again."

I shrugged my shoulders and got two beers out of the fridge and popped them open. I was mad as hell, but I would give my guest a beverage. Edward took it and said a small thank you.

"So, you know I am now?"

I nodded my head ,"Yes, and if you think I'm going to be like, impressed or something, you're wrong."

"I don't expect that. Especially from you. Bella, there are some things, god I hate saying this, from my world that you don't understand."

"Oh I'm sure there is a whole hell of a lot I don't understand, Edward."

He sighed, "Bella, my family, they can be really, really unreasonable sometimes. Namely my father. I wasn't just supposed to be on vacation during our last trip to Hawaii. I was supposed to be working, too. My father was looking into some land there, and I was supposed to help him broker a deal. Alice lives for that trip all year, because that is usually the only time we are all together. If she found out, she would have thrown a fit…anyway, we didn't plan on meeting you is all I'm saying."

"Is that really all?" I asked snarkily.

"No. I have a…past…as you probably know from your boyfriend James. Carlisle found out that you and I had been locked up in the hotel for two days. I was clearly evading work. He thought I was being careless. So he sent us away."

"Because of me you got sent away."

"Yes."

"That's why you didn't call me? That's why Alice didn't call me? Because your daddy didn't want you hanging around a stray?"

"Bella. Stop it. You know I don't think of you that way and neither does Alice."

I rolled my eyes,"So what you're telling me is that Carlisle doesn't want you or Alice, or any of the high and mighty Cullen clan hanging around me because I'm not good enough, right?"

He winced.

"That's him, Bella. Not me."

"But you're a grown ass adult! You can do what you please! I just don't understand why it would matter who your friends are. Why would he care so much?"

"Bella, we were in the paper," he blurted out.

"What!?" My hand covered my mouth as I gasped. I felt the blush creep up to my face as I thought about it. I was in the paper!?

"I don't know…the paparazzi found us like they always do. Alice and Rosalie are usually the main targets, but since I have…the past…they zeroed in on me. There were pictures of us together, um, in compromising positions. But he bought them before they were published."

"I don't understand." I felt like I was going to throw up.

"We were caught. In the ocean, you remember. You were listed in Page Six as a mystery brunette. He had to pay a large sum of money to buy all of them from the photo agencies. It was a mess. It's like the whole world is just waiting for me to fuck up again."

"And with me you fucked up. I see."

"No, it's not like that. Carlisle just has this thing. He doesn't want me…or any of my siblings…dating someone that isn't of high social standing. Everything is business to him. He thinks it appears that I'm being…loose or something. Alice mentioned in passing that she and I had contacted you and Carlisle ordered us to stop."

"Because I'm some backwoods nobody. I get it. People like you, and people like me…we just don't mesh. Thank you for making that glaringly obvious."

"Bella, you don't get it. I can't get you out of my head. I had to see you," he walked around to the other side of the island and took my hand in his, "I pretty much forced Carlisle into letting me come here to oversee the business. I just wanted to see you. Please believe me."

"Edward, why would I believe you?" I asked and pulled my hand from his. "You were with that woman Victoria. And then you wanted to come see me. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"And you were with that prick, James Riley. You told me you were going to see me tomorrow, and then I find you…with him."

"I don't even know him well, Edward! Why am I even justifying myself to you? We made no kind of promises to each other! What if I had a boyfriend and you just came waltzing back into my life?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't!" he said and slammed his fist on the island. I moved away from him and turned my back on him. He breathed heavily, as did I.

"You know, I thought you were a great a guy from what you had shown me. You gave me hope for better. I put you on some sort of fucked up pedestal. But at the end of the day, you're just like the others. You were going to fuck her, and then come sniffing around at my door."

"She is a friend, Bella." He said, voice raised, "One of my oldest friends. I would never treat you that way. I don't think of you as my whore or booty call or whatever…"

"You've fucked her before, I can tell." I said and looked at him over my shoulder.

He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at it and looked me in the eye, "Fine. But it was a long time ago."

"Before or after Tanya?' I asked without thinking. Shit, shit. Shit a brick. That was a low blow.

He placed his hands on his hips and pointed his finger at me, "You don't ever say her fucking name." He said this so sternly it made me recoil. I was so stupid. I just hurt him when he was trying to explain himself to me.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have brought her into this I just- I'm just so fucking frustrated with you right now!"

"So am I, Bella! Do you have any idea how much I fucking hate my life?! I'm under his thumb all the time! I want to do what I want, not what he wants me to do! God dammit!" he yelled and pulled at his hair. Edward was breaking down in front of my eyes. I felt bad for him. Really bad.

"So you feel trapped?" I asked and looked at him, worried.

"I am fucking trapped. He said if I don't walk a straight line-his straight line- that I'll be disowned. My family is all that I have. Save for Carlisle, I love them. I can't let him take them away from me." I got up close to him and could see tears welling in his eyes. Fuck me, he did hate his life. He felt helpless. This wasn't worth it. He and I weren't worth the hurt it could cause him.

"Edward," I said and placed my hand on his chest, "Please know that I'll always be here for you, ok? If you ever need anything."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Bella." He had trust issues. I guess I could thank Tanya for that.

"I'm being serious. I'll be here. No matter what happens, just know you'll always have a friend...someone to talk to. Someone who doesn't care about your world. I don't care about any of it. I care about you. I just want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that you can be with that your family will love. God, I hope you find her," I said with sincerity.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine.

"You'd give up this undeniable...thing that we have between us so that I could be happy with someone who my family approves of?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Well can I tell you the truth?"

"Of course."

"There is no one I'd rather be with than you." My heart dropped and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Edward, it's not worth it if you and I get caught. It just not worth you losing everything. We can't happen, and you know that."

"You're worth it."

"You don't know that. We don't even know each other."

"We do too. You just don't want to rationalize it because it's been such a short time."

I just stood there, not knowing what to do or say. He was right.

"Bella, I have a confession to make."

Edward sighed and moved behind me. I could feel his chest pressed against my back. He laid his head on my shoulder. I shouldn't have let him but I was powerless. With him I was totally and utterly helpless.

"Those days in Hawaii, they were…well…you gave me hope, too. I thought my heart was just…empty and that it would stay that way. I hadn't felt anything for anyone in a long time. Until I met you."

That was one of the sweetest things that anyone has ever said to me. I guess crying was the way to go. I felt the tears slip from my eyes. He turned me so that I was facing him and cupped my face in his hands.

" Thank you for making me feel something," he whispered. The tears were still flowing as I choked back a sob.

"But…we can't!" I gasped.

"Then tell me to leave," he whispered and kissed my forehead, "Tell me you don't want to see me," he kissed my cheeks.

He kissed the place behind my ear and whispered, "Tell me this feels wrong to you."

I gasped, "I can't."

"Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be true."

"I can't stay away from you anymore, Bella."

"But what do we do? Keep it a secret?"

"Maybe for a little while. I just want to be with you, and that is the only way…just for now."

I nodded my head in understanding. See me in secret or don't see me at all.

I wrapped his arms around my waist and I looked up into his eyes. I couldn't. I couldn't stay away from him now that he was back. And he wants to be with me. I ran my fingers down the side of his face while his eyes closed and he leaned into my touch.

"Kiss me, please," he begged.

I pressed my lips to his. I started out slowly at first, but wanting and some primal urge made me kiss him harder. I threaded my fingers through that delicious hair and forced my tongue into his mouth. I wanted to taste him. We both moaned at the ferocity at which I was kissing him. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist as he stumbled back.

"You've totally ruined me ," I whispered as he carried me through the loft and to my bedroom.

"And you don't think you've ruined me, Bella?" he asked breathlessly.

He kicked the door open and sat us down on the edge of my bed. I continued to assault his mouth, face, whatever I could get my lips on. He began to unzip the zipper on the back of my dress. I stood up and pulled it off. I quickly discarded my bra and panties. He stood up and ripped his shirt off, and fumbled to get his belt off and slip out of his pants and boxer briefs.

We began kissing again, slower this time. When our bare skin made contact with the others we both sighed. I kissed his jaw, down and across his collar bone, and licked the indentation where the neck and collar bone meet. I took one of his nipples into my mouth and bit it gently. He moaned my name. I kissed down his chest to his abdomen, and looked up at him as I dropped to my knees. I kissed and licked his muscular thighs.

"What are you doing baby?" he whispered and bit his lip. He knew damn well what I was doing.

"Shh.."

He took in a sharp breath as I took his cock into my mouth.

"MMmm," I hummed as I began to lick and suck his length. I forgot how big and beautiful he was. I wanted to taste every part of him, and I hadn't done this for him yet. He had been so focused on me, that I never got to show him my skills in this department.

"Oh, fuck, Bella," he breathed as his face strained. A smug smile spread across my face. I sucked him long and slow and massaged him up and down. I could feel my own wetness beginning to seep out of me, and I could feel him growing even harder while I worked him. I began a faster pace, all while looking at him, watching what I was doing to him to make him come undone. He threw his head back and moaned loudly. I began to tease him by licking and massaging his length up and down, and then taking him fully back into my mouth and down my throat as far as he could go.

"Jesus, fuck...," he said and put his hands into my hair to help guide me to his release. I loved looking at his face knowing I was the reason that he was wearing that expression.

"Oh, fuck, baby you're going to make me come," he gasped and tried to pull away. I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him back toward me. He thrust hard into my mouth, I felt him twitch, and he released onto my tongue. He cried out loudly, and I swallowed everything he gave me. I released him with a pop, and he pulled me up from the floor.

"Wow, that was…holy shit," he said and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Now it's your turn," he said and threw me onto the bed. I giggled as he forced my legs apart and tickled me.

"Who taught you how to do that, baby?" he asked, breathless as he pulled me to the edge of my bed. I shrugged as a smile crossed my face. I wasn't going to tell him that me and my girlfriends practiced how to get over our gag reflexes in college, just in case the opportunity arose.

He took two fingers and plunged them into me, making me cry out.

"You're already so wet for me, baby. Did getting me off make you wet?" he asked and began a face pace, pumping in and out of me with his fingers.

I nodded my head, "Yes…!" I cried out as his mouth met my aching clit. His sucked it as tongue darted in and out of his mouth, teasing me and making me whimper. I was already fast approaching release, because he was right, getting him off had made me so aroused already.

I fisted the bed sheets in my hands as I felt my stomach tighten. Edward was relentless, fucking me hard with his fingers while he sucked and bit down on my clit.

"Ahhhh, oh shit, baby. I'm going to-fuck!" I cried out as my intense orgasm washed over me. Edward slowed his movements a bit and when I came down I opened my eyes. He was hovered over me, watching me.

"What are you looking at?" I asked and ran my hand through his hair.

"You are so beautiful when I send you over the edge like that. It just fascinates me to watch you come. Plus…" He stuck the two fingers that had been inside me into his mouth. My jaw dropped. "You taste so good."

"So do you," I said as I pressed my mouth to his.

He kissed me deeply, tangling his hands into my hair. He lifted me up, and sat us on the edge of my bed so that I was sitting on top of him.

"Bella…are you still taking…" He asked and stopped kissing me.

I nodded.

"Well I don't know if I like that or not." I could feel his cock hard between us, and all I wanted was for him to enter me.

"If you're saying what I think you're saying, then no," I said and kissed him on the nose. Edward wanted to know if I'd been with anyone else since I'd been with him.

"But what about you?" I asked and looked back and forth between his mouth and his eyes. I would care if he had been with someone else. I knew I would.

He looked me in the eyes, "No, Bella. Like I said, you've ruined me," he replied and gave my backside a little slap. He took one of my nipples into his mouth and sucked and bit at it.

"Please, Edward, I need you," I said and gasped as his tongue danced over the other nipple. He moved his hips underneath me, and entered me slowly. We both moaned when he was fully buried. I had almost…almost…forgotten how it felt when he was inside me. He moved his hips a bit, each time he was hitting my g-spot, forcing me to cry out.

"Oh, Bella, I can feel so much of you like this," he whispered and kissed my neck while I cried out over and over.

I leaned back and held onto the back of his neck, taking him deep. He must have liked it because he began crying out into the room as frequently as I was. We were a pair of moaning lunatics.

I got up off of his lap abruptly and turned around so we were both facing the same direction, took his length in my hand, and pushed myself onto him. I could feel his chest behind me rising and falling as I began to move. He snaked his arm around my waist and down to my clit, where he began to rub furiously.

"Oh, Edward!" I groaned as he kissed my neck and my shoulder.

"Fuck," he whispered through clenched teeth, trying to keep it together.

I reached up and threaded my hand into his hair, "Come with me, Edward. Please."

I moved my hips faster, and he rubbed my clit harder. He grabbed my waist and hugged my back to his chest as he grunted into my shoulder. I cried out as my orgasm took hold, and he yelled my name, "Bella, Oh fuck! Bella," and bit down lightly on the flesh of my neck.

My head fell back onto his shoulder as I was completely spent, a little dizzy from the orgasms and a little dizzy from the alcohol I had consumed earlier. I climbed off of Edward, my limbs made of jelly, and stumbled into the kitchen for some water.

When I came back my breath caught in my throat. Edward was lying in my bed, covers pulled around him with his hands behind his head, looking totally blissed out. He looked like he belonged there.

"Hey beautiful, you coming to bed? I can hardly keep my eyes open."

"Oh, so you're staying?"

"Am I allowed?" he chuckled.

"Yes, but your driver is driving around Seattle waiting for you."

"He knows what to do if I don't call."

"Oh, so that happens often?" I teased, and threw a bottle of water at him. I pulled the covers back and fluffed my pillows and slid inside.

"Shhh…we were doing so well," he said and pulled me into his arms.

I settled onto his chest, like I had done before, and sighed. He held my hand over his heart and I kissed his chest.

"Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight."

Long after Edward had fallen asleep, I still lie on his chest, awake. It had dawned on me that whatever this was between us was still forbidden, and I didn't know what we were going to do. But I knew I couldn't stay away.

A/N :Push that button, you know you want to. I have started the next chapter, and I'll go faster with a little encouragement!

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